"You are distraught, Mrs. Major. Have no fear. To your room."
The curl-papered head waggled. Mrs. Major beamed. "Darling. Darling-- um!"
"Exercise control," Mr. Marrapit told her. "Banish apprehension. There are thieves; but we are alert."
The head withdrew. Mrs. Major gave a tiny scream: "Thieves!" She took a brisk little run down the short flight which gave from where she stood; flattened against the wall that checked her impulse; pressed carefully away from it; stood at the head of the stairs facing Mr.
Marrapit.
He gazed up. "I fear you have been walking in your sleep, Mrs. Major."
Mrs. Major did not reply. She pointed a slippered toe at the stair below her; swayed on one leg; dropped to the toe; steadied; beamed at Mr. Marrapit; and in a high treble coquettishly announced, "_One_!"
Mr. Marrapit frowned: "Retire, Mrs. Major."
Mrs. Major plumped another step, beamed again: "_Two_!"
"You dream. Retire."
Mrs. Major daintily lifted her skirt; poised again. The projected slipper swayed a dangerous circle. Mrs. Major alarmingly rocked. That infamous Old Tom presented three sets of banisters for her support; she clutched at one; it failed her; "Three four five six seven eight nine ten--_darling_!" she cried; at breakneck speed plunged downwards, and with the "_Darling_!" flung her arms about Mr. Marrapit"s neck.
Back before the shock, staggering beneath the weight, Mr. Marrapit went with digging heels. They could not match the pace of that swift blow upon his chest. Its backward speed outstripped them. With shattering thud he plumped heavily to his full length upon the floor; Mrs. Major pressed him to earth.
But that shock was a whack on the head for Old Tom that temporarily quieted him. "What has happened?" Mrs. Major asked, clinging tightly.
Mr. Marrapit gasped: "Release my neck. Remove your arms."
"Where are we?"
"You are upon my chest. I am p.r.o.ne beneath you. Release!"
"It"s all dark," Mrs. Major cried; gripped firmer.
"It is not dark. I implore movement. Our juxtaposition unnaturally compromises us. It is abhorrent."
Mrs. Major opened the eyes she had tightly closed during that staggering journey and that shattering fall. She loosed her clutch; got to her knees; thence tottered to a chair. That infamous Old Tom raised his head again; tickled her brain with misty fingers.
Mr. Marrapit painfully rose. He put a sympathetic hand upon the seat of his injury; with the other took up the candle. He regarded Mrs.
Major; suspiciously sniffed the air, pregnant with strange fumes; again regarded his late burden.
Upon her face that infamous Old Tom set a beaming smile,
"Follow me, Mrs. Major," Mr. Marrapit commanded; turned for the dining-room; from its interior faced about upon her.
With rare dignity the masterly woman slowly arose; martially she poised against the hat-rack; with stately mien marched steadily towards him.
Temporarily she had the grip of Old Tom--was well aware, at least, of his designs upon her purity, and superbly she combated him.
With proud and queenly air she drew on--Mr. Marrapit felt that the swift suspicion which had taken him had misjudged her.
Mrs. Major reached the mat. Old Tom gave a playful little twitch of her legs, and she jostled the doorpost.
With old-world courtesy she bowed apology to the post. "Beg pardon,"
she graciously murmured; stood swaying.
X.
Step by step with her as she had crossed the hall, Mr. Fletcher, recovering from the coward fear in which he shivered outside the door, had crept forward along the path around the house. As Mrs. Major stood swaying upon the threshold of the dining-room he reached the angle; peered round it; in horror sighted Bill"s figure pendant from Margaret"s window.
Thrice the bell-mouth of his gun described a shivering circle; tightly he squeezed his eyelids--pressed the trigger.
BANG!
Mr. Marrapit bounded six inches--hardly reached the earth again when, with a startled scream, Mrs. Major was upon him, again her arms about his neck.
And now shriek pursued shriek, tearing upwards through her throat. Old Tom had loosed the ends of all her nerves. Like bolting rabbit in young corn the tearing discharge of that gun went madly through them, and lacerated she gave tongue.
Stifled by the bony shoulder that pressed against his face, Mr.
Marrapit went black. He jerked his head free, put up his face, and giving cry for cry, shrilled, "George! George! George!"
The din reached George where from his window he leaned, crying on Abiram in the man-hunt across the garden. He drew in his head, bounded down the stairs. Over Mrs. Major"s back, bent inwards from the toes to the rock about which she clung, Mr. Marrapit"s empurpled face stared at him.
Upon George"s countenance the sight struck a great grin; his legs it struck to dead halt.
Mrs. Major"s shrieks died to moans.
"Action!" Mr. Marrapit gasped. "Remove this creature!"
George put a hand upon her back. It shot a fresh shriek from her; she clung closer.
"Pantaloon!" Mr. Marrapit strained. "Crush that grin! Action! Remove this woman! She throttles me! The pressure is insupportable. I am Sinbad."
George again laid hands. Again Mrs. Major shrieked; tighter clung.
Mr. Marrapit, blacker, cried, "Zany!"
"Well, what the devil can I do?" George asked, hopping about the pair; Mrs. Major"s back as responsive to his touch as the keys of a piano to idle fingers.
"You run to and fro and grin like a dog," Mr. Marrapit told him. "Each time you touch her she screams, grips me closer. I shall be throttled.
Use discretion. Add to mine your a.s.surance of her safety. She is not herself."
George chuckled. "She"s not. She"s tight as a drum."
"Liar!" moaned Mrs. Major.
"Intoxicated?" Mr. Marrapit asked.