She leaned forward to brush a kiss over his curls, then gave in to adesperate need and nuzzled her face against his, drawing in the scent of himbefore she drew back to smile down at him.
He stiffened, but the surly expression refused to take over. Somethingsettled inside her, and she realized that finally, miraculously, a part of herheart was back where it belonged.
"Sleep tight, my darling," she said, her voice thick. "Daddy and I love youvery much."
She was practically walking on air when she returned to the bedroom.
Grady had switched off the lamp while she"d been with Jimmy, and the part ofher room that was beyond the reach of the night light"s dim glow was thickwith darkness.
He was lying on his back atop the bright orange sleeping bag on the floor,his bare feet crossed at the ankles, his hands behind his head. His face was.e.xpressionless, his mouth set in a grim line.
"Oh, Grady, he let me kiss him good-night!" she exclaimed when he glanced herway. "And Ismelled him."
His brows drew together in the jagged furrows that never quite disappeared,even when he grinned.
"You want to run that by me again?" he said, his voice dust dry.
Hugging herself, she did a little pirouette which caused the hated gown toflare around her ankles. He shot her a grumpy look, and she laughedself-consciously.
"It"s a mom thing. Nature"s way of making sure we can recognize our own babyin the midst of a herd."
One side of his mouth moved. "Thatis helpful, especially in downtownLafayette."
She was so happy she actually giggled.
"It wasn"t that funny,Ria ."
Like Jimmy"s, his eyes were half-closed, but even in the limited light, shenoted that the expression glinting between the outrageously long golden lasheswas anything but drowsy. His heavily padded shoulders, too, radiated tension,and his face was shadowed, his jaw like unyielding granite. His hair was evenmore tousled than usual, as though plowed repeatedly with angry hands. It wasalso damp, she realized belatedly.
"I thought you"d already taken a shower," she muttered as she slipped intothe sheets that were now cool against her skin.
"Go to sleep, Victoria."
It was then, at that precise moment, that she realized the air in the roompulsed with something infinitely more dangerous than the dark.
"Grady, are you angry about something?"
"If I am, it"s my problem."
How could a voice so utterly flattened of all inflection seethe? She pulledthe sheet higher and adjusted her pillow before glaring at him.
"Fine, be that way. Shut me out."
His snort was pure masculine disgust. "Seems to me you"re the one slammingdoors around here."
"Don"t be silly," she said crisply while giving her pillow another thump."You"re here, aren"t you? In my house. In mybedroom, for Pete"s sake."
"Wrecking my back on the frigging floor."
"That has nothing to do with doors!"
"Yeah, right." His deep voice dripped sarcasm.Ria hated sarcasm, and he knewit. She frowned, then realized the high collar of the gown was constrictingher throat. Stupid thing, she thought, freeing the top two b.u.t.tons.
"Grady, I don"t want-"
"Exactly!" The word was a bullet, hard and deadly. "You don"t want me in yourbed. You don"t want me to love you. Okay. Fine. Your call, your choice." Hedrew up one leg, then shot her a look that seemed designed to strip the fleshfrom her bones. "If there"s something else you want, tell me now because I"d like to get some sleep."
"Nothing more, thank you," she said with great dignity-and civility.
"You"re welcome. Now, can we get some sleep?"
"Yes-provided you stop dumping your bad mood on my head."
"Don"t push it,Ria ."
His voice was deadly quiet. No reason at all to think he was hurt. And yet she was sure it was hurt she heard. Desperate aching hurt.
Shaken, she sneaked a peek in his direction. Though his eyes were open, hedidn"t notice because he was staring at the ceiling. So she let her gazelinger on that unyielding profile.
His was a face with hard planes, aggressive angles and a wide, beautifullyshaped mouth that had once skimmed hers with the delicacy of a b.u.t.terfly"swing. She felt a heat that had nothing to do with the weather steal over heruntil her skin was overheated and itchy.
She was also, she realized in a sudden burst of total honesty, deeply shaken.In all the years they"d had together, the good ones and especially the silent,edgy ones, she"d never thought of Grady as vulnerable.
Not in the way that she was vulnerable, needing rea.s.surance and the securityof a love that didn"t crack under strain. Needing the freedom to falter andfail and make mistakes without being judged-and rejected.
She"d been wrong. Terribly wrong.
The sudden lump in her throat made it difficult to breathe.
"Excuse me," she muttered, scooting out of bed again. She was out of the roomand down the hall before she heard the ripe curse of a man pushed to thelimit.
Still flat on his back Grady plowed both hands through his hair, then let hisfingers trail down his cheeks.
She wasn"t crying, d.a.m.n it!Rianever cried.
Well, not often, he corrected when the memory of the last time, she"d brokendown reared up to clip him a good one, right in the conscience. He closed hiseyes, battled the need to check on her.
His ex-wife had told him that she didn"t need him pushing himself into herproblems. Into her life. The woman ran a nonprofit business with the skill ofa Fortune 500 CEO. Last year she"d been Lafayette"s Woman of the Year. Noreason to think she couldn"t handle this. Except he wasn"t exactly surewhatthis was.
"h.e.l.l!"
A quick look-see wouldn"t hurt, he told himself as he stalked down the hall.He found her in the kitchen, bent over the stove. He heard the hiss of the gasburner, smelled melting chocolate.
His face turned to fire. All the time he"d been working his gut into a hottwist, picturing her huddled in a heap, sobbing her eyes out, she"dbeencooking.
Score another one for the dumbest of the Hardin boys. He was already turningaround when he heard the funny little half hiccup she made when she was upsetand trying not to show it.
This time it was his belly that burned.
"Need some help?" he asked, careful to sift just enough careless unconcerninto this tone to save her pride.
The elegant shoulders he"d dreamed of tracing with his mouth went rigid. "No,thank you." Her voice was m.u.f.fled and a little tense the way it got when she was busy convincing herself her life was ticking along just fine.
He started to tuck his hands into his pockets, then realized he was stillhalf-naked. Hooking his thumbs in the elastic of his shorts instead, he ambledcloser.
"Smells good, whatever it is."
She cleared her throat, surrept.i.tiously scrubbed her cheeks with her freehand.
"It suddenly occurred to me that I always made fudge to take to the lake,"she said, her head still bent over the stove.
"Ah." He"d conducted enough interrogations to know when to push and when tohang back and wait.
"Jimmy-if he remembered being Jimmy that is, which he doesn"t but hewill-would have expected fudge."
He considered it a mark of his experience in the surreal world of the streetsthat he understood the twists and turns of her logic.
"Sure would. Heck, he"s probably dreaming about his first bite as we speak."
Her laugh almost fooled him. Almost. "Remember how he screwed up his face andmade smacking noises the first time you gave him a tiny piece?"
"I remember how you reamed me out when he woke up screaming with a tummyache," he countered with just enough dryness to let her keep on believing shehad him fooled.
"You walked him for hours, even after he was asleep." She stopped stirring."I wanted to be furious with you. I should have been, but ... you were socontrite."
What he"d been was terrified, his own belly full of acid at his carelessness."Contrite, h.e.l.l. I was d.a.m.n deaf. The kid always did bawl loud enough to crackgla.s.s."
He shifted, remembering how he"d buried his guilt in making love to her.
"Yes, well..." She cleared her throat, as though she too remembered. "The senseof taste often triggers memory."
She banged her wooden spoon against the side of the pan, then for goodmeasure, banged it again before fiddling with the burner control. When she hadit exactly right, she resumed stirring.
"Ree, he"ll come back to us. All he needs is some time."
"I know. I"ve told myself that same thing a thousand times, but it"s tearingme apart to be so close to him and not be able to hug him the way I used to.Or kiss him or even nuzzle his neck." She drew a shaky breath.
He wanted to touch her so badly his muscles burned. "You"ll do it again."
"I know I shouldn"t complain. I"m not, really. It"s just that I have so muchsaved up."
"I know, sweet. But you"ll get to hug your little cub soon. He"s a Hardin. Noway will he be able to resist a pretty lady."
She dropped the spoon and turned, challenge in her eyes and her cheeks anadorable pink. "Make love to me, Grady."
His mind went blank. His throat closed. He opened his mouth, then shut it,almost certain he would stammer something d.a.m.ned embarra.s.sing.
"Is that a yes or a no?" she asked, her voice a little hoa.r.s.e.
He felt the world tilt as she framed his face with her small hands and tuggedhis head closer until she could press her mouth to his. Desire had sharp,painful claws, tearing away layers of armor until he was raw with need. Still,he"d been bloodied too often to step blindly this time. So he made himselfdraw back, his hands cuffing her wrists.
"What"s going on, Ree?" he demanded, his body already hard and ready. "Whythe sudden change of att.i.tude?"
Her lashes flickered, and her breath stuttered. "I wantyou.Isn"t thatenough?"
Not in a million years. But a man who was starving to death took crumbs andwas grateful.
"It"s enough," he grated out an instant before crashing his mouth down onhers.
He put all the years he"d spent dreaming about this into his kiss. Thelonging, the regret. The love he couldn"t kill.
Her mouth trembled, then met his eagerness with hers. She arched up, herhands diving into his hair, her nails raking his scalp. She was heat andhunger and soft, moaning pleas that fired his blood and shattered his control.
He found a breast, his fingers trembling slightly as he teased the nipplewith the flat of his hand. She gasped, then moaned. He drew back, breathinghard, to see the glitter of pa.s.sion in her half-closed eyes.
"Not here," he managed, his voice thick. "I want you naked and sweaty."
Her breath shuddered out, then splintered into a little cry of alarm as heswung her into his arms.
"Wait, Grady, the burner!" Leaning down, she turned off the flame, thenburrowed against him, her breath warm against his neck. Pulse pounding, hecarried her to the bedroom, pausing only to kick the door closed behind himbefore striding through the sudden velvet darkness to the bed. The mattressdipped beneath his knee as he deposited her on the rumpled sheets.
"Lock the door," she whispered, impatience and need in her voice. "Jimmymight hear another scary noise in the closet and come looking for his newhero."
"It"s the scary noise in the bedroom I"m worried about," Grady said with agrin that felt c.o.c.ky as he snapped on the lamp by the bed.
"That"s something else that would be familiar," she murmured, blinking like alittle owl in the sudden splash of light.
"Somehow I don"t think that"s what Dr. Roth had in mind."
The door safely locked, he slipped off his shorts with hands that fumbledwith impatience.
"Oh, my," she said on a rush of air.
"Well, it"s been a while," he muttered.
"I"m glad," she whispered, lifting her arms to pull him down.
"Not yet," he said gruffly, his hands already on the hem of her gown. "Notuntil I can see all of you."
Riawent hot all over, even as she fought down a fast flurry of trepidation.They weren"t getting back together, she reminded herself. Simply satisfyingperfectly normal urges.
Perfectly glorious urges.
Impatient to feel those wonderfully rough hands on her, she sat up quickly,feeling as awkward as a virgin. His movements were jerky, his expression harshwith need as he pushed the gown over her thighs. His callused palms brushedher skin, arousing little tremors of reaction beneath her skin. Tiny urgentpulses of need, spreading heat.
"Lift your arms," he ordered, his eyes glittering.