Grady stripped off his sodden shirt and dropped it on the floor of the guestbathroom. Even with his eyes open and the light on, he felt as though he"dwalked into a black, airless cave where he"d been sent to live out his lifealone.
Feeling about as low as low gets, he dropped his jeans atop his shirt andstepped out of his skivvies. He twisted on the hot water, then added enoughcold to keep from scalding his b.u.t.t.
He pressed both hands against the slick tile and ducked his head under thehard spray, letting the water pound at the knot between his shoulder blades.Steam filled the tiled cubicle, making his eyes sting. Out of air, he drew ahuge breath that hurt all the way to the soles of his feet. She said he was adecent man.
She didn"t love him.
She wanted to be friends.
She didn"t love him.
He opened his eyes and stared at the water swirling around his feet. He wa.s.some kind of fool to think he could walk back into her life and with a few stiff words blurted out without more than a few seconds planning, have herfalling into his arms again.
Maybe if he"d been the one to rescue their son, she might have forgotten he"dalso been the one who"d brought h.e.l.l down around them in the first place.Women liked heroes, didn"t they?
Maybe if he"d kicked down a few doors, busted a few heads. Taken anotherbullet. Maybe then she"d love him. Maybe...
The pain in his chest ground harder.
h.e.l.l.
He"d been wrong. Life didn"t give second chances.
Not his life, anyway.
Women wanted the words, his mom had said. Well, he"d given her words, andshe"d handed them back to him, along with a prim little speech that had cutall the way to the bone.
With a savage curse that came all the way from the black depths of his soul,he straightened and reached for the soap.
Riawas huddled into her pillow, drifting in the surreal twilight between deepsleep and a restless uneasiness when she was jerked into full awakening by amuted and very male curse in the semidarkness.
Before she could do more than turn her head, Grady had folded into a crouchnext to the bed and was sliding the sleeping bag bundle under the frame. Inthe faint gleam of the hall light shining through the crack in the door, shesaw the ma.s.sive outline of his bare shoulders and the flash of his bright hairas he stood suddenly.
Her heart tripped, flooded her with sharp terror mingled with outrage."What-"
"Jim," he grated, jerking up the sheet. The mattress dipped as he slid hisbody in next to hers. Before she could move, he hooked one heavy leg overhers, pinning her fast beneath the solid length of him. Though he"d promisedto buy pj"s first thing tomorrow, tonight he was wearing running shorts-andnothing else. The heat of his skin was like a brand against hers.
"Stop-" Her cry was cut off by the pressure of his mouth over hers. She feltan instant of heat, a fast-and-furious jolt of shock and then an instant"sfury as he slid one hard arm beneath her neck.
You b.a.s.t.a.r.d!she screamed silently, struggling. And then she heard it, thealmost imperceptible whisper of the bedroom door opening. She froze, her gazesearching his in the dim white glow coming through the opening.
Understanding flooded her and she nodded. The steely muscles of his armsrelaxed slightly as he lifted his lips from her mouth and rolled to his back.
"Something bothering you, son?" he asked, his voice a good octave deeper thannormal.
"There"s a noise in the closet," Jimmy said in a small voice that tore ather. She opened her mouth to offer her baby the words of comfort and loveshe"d saved up for so long, but Grady beat her to it.
"Want me to go with you to check it out?" he asked in the same matter-of-facttone he"d used to discuss the terms of their divorce. His cop"s voice, she realized now.
"I guess," Jimmy muttered, but he edged a little farther into the room,looking anything but eager to face hidden monsters.
"Maybe he should stay here,"Ria murmured close to Grady"s ear. "Just incase."
"Sure, if he wants to."
Grady squeezed her arm, his rough hand incredibly gentle, before he slippedhis arm free and climbed from the bed. Jimmy watched with dark, frightenedeyes that tore at her, but he didn"t flinch when Grady dropped a hand to hisshoulder.
"Do you want to stay here with your mom, son?"
Stevie darted his gaze from one another, his hands torturing the front of thedorky pajama shirt into a twisted knot. He wanted to stay with the lady, eventhough he was pretty sure she wasn"t his real mom, but pride made him shakehis head. Guys who wimped out were jerks. Besides, the big guy ... Grady ...didn"t look like he was afraid of anything. Not even guys with guns or knives.
Stevie thought it would be real neat to be like him.
"Guess you might need help," he mumbled, trying his best to make his voicereal deep like Grady"s.
Grady offered one of those quick almost-smiles Stevie was coming to like alot because it made him feel special. "Just between us, son, I can always usehelp, especially when I"m not sure what"s behind a door."
Stevie had to think about that. He wasn"t sure what was behind that door,either. Only that he"d jerked awake with his heart going crazy and a scaredfeeling in his head. He thought maybe he"d been having a bad dream, but hewasn"t sure. And then he"d heard the noise. The scared feeling that ha.s.started to slip away came back in a rush, and he edged closer to Grady"s side.
"Maybe you should bring your gun," he said in the off-hand voice he used whenhe didn"t want anyone to know what he was thinking.
"Let"s see what kind of problem we"re dealing with first, okay?"
"I think it"s the man with the funny voice." Stevie hadn"t meant to say that,and he felt his face get hot all the way down his neck.
"What man, sweetheart?" The lady sounded awful scared all of a sudden. Hefigured he must have said something wrong.
"Jim?"
Stevie liked it when Grady squatted down the way he was doing now. Even whenthe light was dim like now, he could see his eyes real good. They were allcrinkly at the corners, like Mel Gibson"s. Like he was about to laugh, evenwhen bad stuff was happening. Except when he looked at his wife, and then helooked the way Stevie felt sometimes when he wanted something real bad, onlyhe knew he was never going to get it no matter how hard he wished.
"He"s in this dream I have," he blurted out because he knew Grady wanted himto tell. "The guy with the voice."
"Sounds like you don"t like him much."
Stevie shook his head.
"Any particular reason?"
Stevie considered this which made a real bad shivery feeling run all throughhim. "Don"t know." He held his breath, afraid Grady would get all mad and yellthe way Lance did when Stevie honked him off.
Only Grady just nodded once, real steady like, before standing up again andholding out his hand. "Ready to face that door, partner?"
Stevie darted a look down the hall that didn"t seem nearly as long as it hadbefore. He nodded once, and put his hand in Grady"s big one.
"Keep my side warm, Mom," Grady told the lady who looked real funny beforeshe smiled.
"Good luck, gentlemen."
Grady glanced down at him and winked. And just like that, Stevie wasn"tscared anymore.
Chapter 9.
Riapounced as soon as Grady stepped over the threshold of her bedroom andinto the glow of the light she"d turned on while he"d been gone.
"Is he all right?" she demanded, scrambling to a sitting position against thepillows.
Grady allowed his chest to swell just enough to release some of the emotionpulsing inside him. "You should have seen him, Ree. Shaking like a leaf, eyesbig as dinner plates, but d.a.m.n if he didn"t march right over to that d.a.m.n doorand jerk it open."
"With you right behind him," she said with a soft little smile that had hismind shooting off on a dangerous tangent. Ruthlessly he shut off the fantasybefore it took hold and ruined what was left of an already lousy night"ssleep.
"Sooner or later he would have gotten around to doing it on his own."
She shook her head, and the auburn highlights in her thick sable hair caughtlight. "No, he needed to know you were there."
With hands that were uncharacteristically nervous, she fussed with thenightshirt, tugging on the hem a few times before primly tucking it around herankles. In his mind he saw his hand reaching for the b.u.t.toned-up front,tearing it back to reveal the creamy b.r.e.a.s.t.s and sleek curves beneath, ripeand ready to be explored. Just like that, he was desperate to nuzzle his faceagainst those curvy thighs until the scent of her was inside him, wild and sweet, uniquelyRia .
When he felt himself tip toward begging, he shifted his gaze to her face andkept it there.
"Told him you"d be in to check on him."
The surprise had an instant to take hold in her eyes before she scrambled outof bed, an eager smile on her face and her eyes as bright as emerald stars.
He caught a whiff of roses as she rushed past him, the long gown shifting andrippling like water over the curves of her body. He clamped down hard on themoan pushing at his throat, but nothing could stop the blood from pooling inhis groin.
He jerked the sleeping bag from under the bed, then stalked into thebathroom. One twist of his wrist had the shower door sliding open, another hadthe cold tap on full blast.
She wasn"t the only woman on the frigging planet. He"d had signals fromplenty of other females, hadn"t he? h.e.l.l, yes. A single guy under forty with asteady job and a face that didn"t stop clocks was fair game in this town.
Flynn sure as h.e.l.l wasn"t pining away for his ex. Far as he could see, hisbrother had women tripping all over themselves. Maybe he didn"t have Flynn"ssilver tongue or Kale"s smarts or the twins" humor, but he could hold his ownif he had to.
He jerked his shorts over his hips and let them fall. A savage kick sent themflying against the wall. Temper sizzling and blood pounding, he stepped intothe stall, sucking in hard as the icy water hit.
To h.e.l.l with hanging in. With bleeping patience. With giving her time. He"djust been kidding himself. She"d had time, all right. Plenty of it.Years. Timeto build a wall so thick not even his hard head could batter it down.
Maybe he learned slow, but hedid learn. About being a man instead of alapdog. About honor and integrity and keeping your word once you"ve given it.And about the judgment calls a man makes when he steps beyond black-and-whiteand into varying shades of gray.
Sometimes a man had to bend a rule or swallow a chunk of pride for a goodcause. But there was a line beyond which he sacrificed his self-respect, aline he"d tested a few times but never crossed. Pining for a woman who didn"twant him was on the loser"s side of that line.
As soon as things shook out, he d.a.m.n sure intended to find himself a nicelady to woo. No more running laps when the hunger built up inside like avolcano about to blow. No more middle-of-the-night brooding over mistakes hecouldn"t take back. No more kicking himself over things he should have said ornoticed or done.
By the time he was shivering and the ache in his groin had been numbed to adull pressure, he"d run through an entire lexicon of curses. Most of all hecursed the stubbornness that welded him to a woman who didn"t want him.
Riasmoothed the pillow slip away from her little boy"s tanned cheek, thenbecause she wanted desperately to touch her baby again, let her fingers dance over the rumpled curls. Instead of flinching, he watched her with sensitivebrown eyes that tugged at her with the same intensity as his dad"s.
"I hear you guys got rid of the mystery noise in the closet."
He shrugged, but the sudden glint of pride in his eyes had her heart turningover. "Weren"t nothin" in there but a bunch of dumb clothes. Stinks somethin" awful, too. Even the cat wouldn"t go in."
Riablinked, then laughed. "You must mean the mothb.a.l.l.s."
His mouth relaxed enough to curl a little at the corners. "Yeah, that"s whatGrady said."
Grady, not Daddy? Well, it was a start, she told herself. As for her, so farhe hadn"t called her anything at all. But he was talking to her now instead ofgrunting. And there had been that hint of a familiar smile. She would holdthat to her heart while she waited for him to trust her.
"Where is Trouble anyway?"
Jimmy frowned, then nudged the bunched covers away from the side of thedaybed. Curled into his usual boneless knot, the pampered creature opened onetiger-yellow eye, blinked, then closed it again. As though a switch hadsuddenly been snapped on, a rumbling purr of contented feline filled the room.
"Grady said Trouble usually sleeps with him ... I mean, you guys, you know?Grady"s going to teach me how to brush him and feed him and stuff like that."
She nodded, a lump in her throat. "In the house we used to have when you werea baby, I had this perfectly lovely bed for him, with a foam mattress as softas a cloud, but of course, he preferred a ratty old sweatshirt of your dad"sinstead."
"Grady said he"s real good at waking up if someone comes in."
Riaglanced at the cat who now seemed to be dead to the world. "As watch cat"sgo, Trouble is the best, no doubt about it," she declared, keeping herexpression suitably sober. "I also think he"s adopted you."
Pleasure fought with a scared little boy"s need to play it cool. Her heartgave a little hop when the pleasure won.
"Guess I wouldn"t mind having him around. Long as he don"t bug me too much."
Jimmy"s lashes fluttered down, then jerked up. Her brave little boy wasfighting sleep. Just like he used to when he was curled up in her lap,listening to her read his bedtime story. Her arms really did ache with theneed to hold him, she realized, on a rush of emotion so powerful she had totake several breaths before it was contained again.
Just one more, Mommy,he would plead. And then, when that story was finished,he would offer her that twinkling, sloppy smile that never failed to melt herand beg,Last more, Mommy, okay?
The boy who"d been stolen had loved stories, following along with avidinterest. The boy who"d returned would rather stare mindlessly at TV for hourson end.
She wanted to do violence, to rage and rant and use her fists-and it terrified her. Needing something to occupy her hands, she reached for theratty old bear she"d propped next to a stack of Jimmy"s favorite books on thefloor.
"Poor Pooh feels lonely down there," she murmured, rubbing the spot on theplump belly where the nap had been worn slick. She made her smile easy as shelooked for a sign of recognition. Instead, she got a sleepy look ofimpatience. She tucked the bear into the far corner of the bed frame andfolded her hands in her lap.
"You know, Jimbo, I"m not sure I"ve ever seen your daddy more proud than heis right now. He thinks you"re one brave kid."
"Grady"s cool," he muttered, his faced reddening.
"Like father, like son."