One-Act Plays

Chapter 65

BILL. Water? Yes, of course. Get him some water, Sn.i.g.g.e.rs.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. We don"t use water here. Where shall I get it?

BILL. Outside in the garden. [_Exit Sn.i.g.g.e.rS._]

ALBERT. Here"s to future!

BILL. Here"s to Albert Thomas, Esquire.

ALBERT. And William Jones, Esquire. [_Re-enter Sn.i.g.g.e.rS, terrified._]

THE TOFF. Hullo, here"s Jacob Smith, Esquire, J. P., alias Sn.i.g.g.e.rs, back again.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. Toffy, I"ve been thinking about my share in that ruby. I don"t want it, Toffy; I don"t want it.

THE TOFF. Nonsense, Sn.i.g.g.e.rs. Nonsense.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. You shall have it, Toffy, you shall have it yourself, only say Sn.i.g.g.e.rs has no share in this "ere ruby. Say it, Toffy, say it!

BILL. Want to turn informer, Sn.i.g.g.e.rs?

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. No, no. Only I don"t want the ruby, Toffy....

THE TOFF. No more nonsense, Sn.i.g.g.e.rs. We"re all in together in this.

If one hangs, we all hang; but they won"t outwit me. Besides, it"s not a hanging affair, they had their knives.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. Toffy, Toffy, I always treated you fair, Toffy. I was always one to say, Give Toffy a chance. Take back my share, Toffy.

THE TOFF. What"s the matter? What are you driving at?

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. Take it back, Toffy.

THE TOFF. Answer me, what are you up to?

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. I don"t want my share any more.

BILL. Have you seen the police? [_ALBERT pulls out his knife._]

THE TOFF. No, no knives, Albert.

ALBERT. What then?

THE TOFF. The honest truth in open court, barring the ruby. We were attacked.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. There"s no police.

THE TOFF. Well, then, what"s the matter?

BILL. Out with it.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. I swear to G.o.d....

ALBERT. Well?

THE TOFF. Don"t interrupt.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. I swear I saw something _what I didn"t like_.

THE TOFF. What you didn"t like?

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS [_in tears_]. O Toffy, Toffy, take it back. Take my share.

Say you take it.

THE TOFF. What has he seen? [_Dead silence, only broken by Sn.i.g.g.e.rS"S sobs. Then steps are heard. Enter a hideous idol. It is blind and gropes its way. It gropes its way to the ruby and picks it up and screws it into a socket in the forehead. Sn.i.g.g.e.rS still weeps softly, the rest stare in horror. The idol steps out, not groping. Its steps move off, then stop._]

THE TOFF. O, great heavens!

ALBERT [_in a childish, plaintive voice_]. What is it, Toffy?

BILL. Albert, it is that obscene idol [_in a whisper_] come from India.

ALBERT. It is gone.

BILL. It has taken its eye.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. We are saved.

A VOICE OFF [_with outlandish accent_]. Meestaire William Jones, Able Seaman. [_THE TOFF has never spoken, never moved. He only gazes stupidly in horror._]

BILL. Albert, Albert, what is this? [_He rises and walks out. One moan is heard. Sn.i.g.g.e.rS goes to the window. He falls back sickly._]

ALBERT [_in a whisper_]. What has happened?

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. I have seen it. I have seen it. O, I have seen it! [_He returns to table._]

THE TOFF [_laying his hand very gently on Sn.i.g.g.e.rS"s arm, speaking softly and winningly._] What was it, Sn.i.g.g.e.rs?

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. I have seen it.

ALBERT. What?

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. O!

VOICE. Meestaire Albert Thomas, Able Seaman.

ALBERT. Must I go, Toffy? Toffy, must I go?

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS [_clutching him_]. Don"t move.

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