"It was really awkward for a while, but then everything settled down again."
Marian opened her mouth, then closed it again. "Do you think they found somebody?"
"To play with?"
Marian nodded.
"Yeah, I do."
"Oh . . ." This was juicy. "Mary Jane."
"Yeah, that"s what I"ve always thought."
Inner Prude was repelled. Inner s.l.u.t thought it sounded like a h.e.l.luva good time-muscled Patty, confident Mary Jane, gentle Wen. "I hope they"re having fun."
Ellie sighed. "Even you are now. Everybody is but me."
Marian sighed. "Jersey"s not having any fun right now."
"I"ll call her later." Ellie gave a self-deprecating laugh. "Maybe we"ll just do what everyone else is doing, have a great f.u.c.k and get over it."
Marian blushed beet red.
Ellie immediately noticed. "Oh, my, speaking of great f.u.c.ks, how was she?"
Marian decided to take a page from Mary Jane"s book. "That would be ungallant."
"You are red as a fire truck!"
"You can"t make me say, Ellie."
"That good?"
"d.a.m.n good," Marian said before she could stop herself. "I could fall in love with her."
"Aren"t you already?"
197.
"Maybe." Marian sighed heavily. The chair was coated in cat hair.
"She"s not sticking around, remember?"
"You"ve got some time to change her mind."
Marian allowed herself a tiny smile. "I guess so. Ellie, I"ve never felt this way with anyone. Like I had the power to make her fantasies come true."
"It"s not like you can count your lovers on more than one hand, M"Sue."
"I know, but . . . it was different. I felt . . . like I was discovering who I could be with her. More than I thought."
"You know what I always say-who cares if it"s forever as long as today is good."
"It"s good."
"And I cut off your date. I"m sorry."
"It"s okay." Marian rose. "I"m ravenous, too. Let"s go get some breakfast. More breakfast for me, but I didn"t have dinner last night."
"I didn"t have dinner either. Hamburg Inn?"
"Everyone will think we spent the night together."
"h.e.l.l, let"s give them something to talk about."
Ellie laughed, sounding happier than Marian had thought she would be for a while. "I"m glad you"re my best friend, M"Sue. I don"t know what I"d do without you."
"Hey," Marian began. "You"ll never guess something that Liddy and I have in common. Someone we have in common."
"She slept with Carrie already? I thought you couldn"t be with someone who"d been with an ex."
Marian led the way out the door. "Oh, you have no idea. I think I"ll have to get over that because the universe is twisted."
Liddy pushed the stack of books away and rested her head on her arms. She"d had a nap, but she still felt too restless to work.
What was Marian doing? What was wrong with Ellie? Would she call before evening?
198.
She dabbed lavender oil on her mosquito bites and, to her amaze-ment, it worked equally as well as any anti-itch cream she"d tried. It didn"t smell bad at all.
She paced. She turned the Cranberries up loud, but the music failed to distract her. Finally, she went for a drive because the Hummer had better speakers than the boom box.
Not sure she wouldn"t get lost, she followed what she hoped was the route to the overlook where Marian had driven her on Sat.u.r.day.
The occasional landmark looked familiar, and in a short time she was parked.
She was a long way from home. Even so, Robyn Vaughn had followed her. Not Robyn, she thought suddenly. The pain Robyn caused followed you here, and here is where you"ll let it go. You can get hurt again, but not by Robyn. A wave of peace washed over her, and for the first time in weeks there was no anger simmering in her heart.
It was very quiet and she stood looking down at the countryside with only a light breeze against the leaves for noise.
Female. Lush. Wet. Alive. Iowa was all those things.
So was Marian. And so was she when she was with Marian.
It"s not paradise, she thought. Not quite. But it could feel like home with Marian.
"I don"t know what her dreams are," Liddy said to the breeze. "I don"t know all of her pain, I think. I want to know, though. I want to see behind those amazing eyes."
She hugged herself for a moment, remembering the way it had felt to be in Marian"s arms. n.o.body had ever touched her like that.
"h.e.l.l, I don"t even know how old she is. More than thirty. But close enough. I"ll catch up." She realized what she was considering and laughed aloud. "You don"t have to decide today, Liddy Emma Peel."
And, she added, I want to hear her call me Emma again and feel her against me. Emma . . . Emma is for her.
199.
After her lengthy breakfast with Ellie, Marian wanted to call Liddy. Perhaps drop by. Perhaps spend the day in bed. But Ellie was still forlorn and diversions were the duty of a best friend.
"I think I need a new outfit or something," Ellie announced.
"Are you going to make me watch you try on clothes at Von Maur?" Marian sighed as she unlocked the car.
"Yes, it"s the least you can do. You"ve got a girlfriend and I don"t."
"I"ll just practice, shall I? No, that doesn"t make your a.s.s look like a house. Yes, that color is perfect with your eyes." She adopted the tone she used when humoring Trombone. "No, you are not getting old."
"Shut up."
"Can"t we go to the movies instead?"
"Too transitory. I need a skirt and possibly shoes."
"With a house payment to cover on your own, maybe Von Maur isn"t the place to go."
Ellie sulked. "You really know how to rain on a girl"s parade, don"t you?"
"It"s cheaper being a Wal-Mart femme."
Ellie laughed at that and Marian turned in that direction.
After shopping came lunch-a fiesta of grease and salt from a fast-food place-and then Ellie was finally ready to go home.
"Only if you"ll come with me to see who"s there. I"ll walk over for my car later."
"What if Sandy"s there? What will you do?"
"Talk to her. Make sure she knows if Terry will leave Jersey after five years for her, Terry will eventually leave her, too."
"Probably true."
Ellie put her head back on the seat. "I taught her that lesson, you know. What am I complaining about? I don"t really believe in forever after. Sandy does, so she gets more hurt than I do."
I believe in it, too, Marian wanted to say. Amy and Hemma had it.
Her parents had had it. There were people who worked it out, who somehow kept it together.
200.
She wanted to be one of those people. And she had no idea if Liddy wanted to be one, or if she felt like Ellie did, that it was an impossible dream.
Well, she thought, you"ll just have to ask her, won"t you?
"Oh, h.e.l.l, Terry"s there." Ellie ducked down in the seat.
"It had to happen sometime."
"You know, why don"t we go see Jersey instead?"
Marian made a quick U-turn. "I think that"s a great idea."
"Liddy!"
Liddy turned in the direction of the voice, then grinned as she lifted her freshly made latte. "Hi, Carrie. I"m addicted to this place.
You all got me hooked. I couldn"t concentrate and here I am for my fix. You here for yours?"
"Today"s a cocoa-and-cream day," Carrie answered. "Have you heard the news about Terry and Jersey?"
"No. Nothing bad I hope."
Carrie rolled her eyes. "It depends on your perspective. Let me get my drink and I"ll fill you in."
The comfy upholstered chairs were unoccupied, and Liddy quickly dropped into one. She liked this place, though her budget would start to feel the habit soon.
After a moment she wondered what was taking Carrie so long, then realized someone else had come in. What was that woman"s name? Would she ever remember? Those muscles were amazing, though.
Whatever Carrie and the woman were discussing was very intense, with lots of nodding and shaking of their heads. Maybe it was about Ellie. She was starting to get frustrated with curiosity when the other woman left, two drinks in hand, and Carrie finally joined her.
"Patty had more details."
Patty. Muscles. Got it, she thought. "So what is it?"
201.
"Well, Terry and Jersey broke up. This morning. After Terry spent the night-not for the first time is what Patty just told me- with Sandy."
Liddy had to think about it for a moment. Then she started asking questions. Carrie, as it turned out, knew a lot about a lot.
Liddy"s head spun keeping track of who had been with whom, in what order, where they"d lived, and who had custody of all the pets.
"Does this happen a lot in Iowa City?"
"What"s the definition of aa lot"? Sometimes it does seem a little bit like square dancing. Allemande left, y"all."
Liddy laughed. She liked Carrie, but was glad she wasn"t a candidate for the holistic love couch. She didn"t even care why she wasn"t.
"I bet it upsets the stability of the group for a while."