#10: A New Step is Mayhem"Impressive, Eita, yet again you’ve really shown yourself off."
Kaoru said, summarizing yesterday’s commotion.
I was eating my bento, while Kaoru ate sweet bread.
Today it was just like the usual lunch break —yesterday, I ended up going to the hospital and afterwards I went to bed right away so I couldn’t make a bento. Thus for the first time in a very long while, I had a bento from the convenience store. The taste was just pa.s.sable, but as expected, the money is best spent in other ways.
"Somehow, I feel like I’ve been getting hurt a lot recently."
Kaoru stared at the big band-aid in my face and smiled.
To be honest, my injury wasn’t as serious as it looked. Although it hurt a ton when I was being punched, my condition was much better than it had been last month when I fought in front of the train station. Maybe the man wearing black knew the proper technique to not overdo it when punching people, as expected of a professional.
The news later leaked to the disciplinary committee. Even though we were cross-examined, "tell us exactly what happened", Masuzu lied just enough to skip over the entire incident. We even didn’t get any reprimands or questions from the staff room. It seems like Mana —or more accurately: Masuzu’s father, stretched his hand and arranged something behind the scenes with the school.
What kind of father is he?
But if he could give up the idea of calling Masuzu back, whatever it was, that was just fine.
"Oh, Eita, there was something I wanted to ask you."
"Huh?"
"The time when you asked me that English question before exams, "let’s restore our bonds from the past", have you solved it?"
Unconsciously, I was startled with surprise.
"Ah, right, um, sure. I went to ask the English teacher, Kishiwada-sensei for help, and he taught me."
"Really? That’s good."
Even though I nearly said it carelessly, Kaoru seemed to not notice.
"I thought it sounded like something out of a love letter. Did the question come out of a romantic novel?"
"Ah, right, I actually think that was the case."
"If the love letter came from your childhood friend or your ex-girlfriend, that"d be mayhem. If you were single it would have been fine, however, for a while there, you have got a girlfriend."
"[...] ...Yeah."
He hasn"t realized it... right?
Kaoru...?
I wiped my sweat with a handkerchief as I said:
"B-But when the time comes, it"s enough with I just rejecting them clearly, right? I just have to make it clear that "I have a girlfriend now"."
"Hmm? Will it really work as easy as that?"
"Why not?"
Kaoru licked his finger to clean off bread jam.
"A childhood friend, or an ex girlfriend, they wouldn"t simply just give up."
"[...]"
"Even if you have a girlfriend, if they truly possess sincere feelings, they won’t give up. Rather, they would try their hardest to restore their bonds, right? Girls are stubborn —It’s much more than Eita expected, right?"
I wiped and wiped, but my sweat dripped incessantly.
"D-D-Don’t say such scary things."
"Scary? That English question? It’s very unlike the number one student of our cla.s.s to say something like that before exams."
Kaoru laughed and used his straw to drink strawberry milk.
Recently I feel Kaoru’s been really hard to deal with...
If even my best friend is teasing me, then I don’t have any moment of peace at all!
♦
That day after school——
I went with Masuzu for shopping in town.
Because we had to re-purchase the volumes of "JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures" that were messed up because of yesterday’s incident... Of course the guilty party, me, was "willing enough" to pay for everything.
Whatever, there wasn’t anything I could do about it—
"Hey, Masuzu, it seems like there aren’t any in tankoubon[1] format. Why don’t we try getting the bunkoban version instead?"
"[...]"
Masuzu-san, for a while now you have not said a thing.
Why is that?
Even when we were in cla.s.s, other than the things that were unavoidable and absolutely necessary, she didn’t say a thing.
She can"t possibly be that angry about the JoJo issue, right...?
We wandered through three bookstores nearby, but we weren’t able to buy the volumes that we wanted. JoJo was a series that had been popular for more than two decades, so it was very difficult to find the first few volumes in local bookstores.
Later we took a longer trip to the big, more specialized bookstores and thus finally managed to buy them all.
Around eight o’clock in the evening, we were sitting on the deserted bus car on the way back——
"Certainly, right now you have been extremely noisy."
In the double seat, next to me, Masuzu finally spoke.
Her tone was barbed, as expected it did look like she was really angry.
"What do you mean by noisy?"
"If one enrages the Natsukawa family, one can never tell what it will lead to. You, and Harusaki-san too, like to meddle with things too much."
Ehhh, somehow, she"s actually bothered by that thing with Mana?
If that was the issue, then I had decided my response a long time ago.
"About the circ.u.mstances in your household, I really don"t care."
"What was that?"
"I don’t know what secrets you keep to yourself, but I hate splitting up with you just like that, that’s all."
Exactly.
Of course we have secrets. We are "fakes" after all.
So the most important thing— is how do we want to face ourselves about that.
And how we want to see each other.
Masuzu remained silent for a while and suddenly said with a sigh:
"From now on, when we’re alone, I’m not going to use honorifics."
"Huh?"
"When we’re in front of others, we can be fake lovers. Other than this, I’ll still treat you coldly, do you understand, Eita?"
Woah, does that mean we’re finally on an equal first name basis and sharp tongue now?
You can treat me more and more unreasonably too[2] !
"Aah, do as you please."
"...Why aren’t you angry? Why aren’t you saying "Why did you leave out the honorifics"?"
"It matters not —In fact, this type of arrogance, forced and headstrong ways of doing things fits you perfectly, Masuzu."
"Fool... Such impertinence, even though you are just a fake."
After talking, Masuzu leaned her head against my chest.
Like that time Chiwa did before, she rubbed her face against me several times.
Masuzu seemed very comfortable sprouting out some "Hnnn..." as she rubbed back and forth, her silver hair swaying... Did that mean that my chest was popular?
"H-Huh? Shouldn’t we be pretending we’re lovers only in front of others?"
"Of course not, this is— this is a JoJo reference."
"Eh? Which part? What volume is this from?"
"[...]"
Strange? She didn’t answer immediately?
About JoJo, this girl should know everything.
"Four times."
"Huh?"
"This month, you’ve already ignored four of my JoJo references that I came up with much difficulty."
"Did I? When was that? What kind of references?"
As I finished, Masuzu immediately emerged with a triumphant smile and said:
"Hmph, as expected you didn’t notice. Since you’re my boyfriend, you need to further increase your JoJo-power. Understand, Eita?"
"Tch! What"s with that arrogance..."
""That arrogance" would be yours, especially with that standoffish reply? After all, I hold your Weak Point"Note! Understand your position now!"
Masuzu snuggled her head against my chest.
What"s with this girl?
It felt subtly different from what she normally did to tease and make fun of me——
"Understand? From now on, there will only be one person in your eyes."
"Okay, okay. After all, you’re my "girlfriend"."
"And I’ll be the only one you’ll be this gentle with."
"...Yeah."
"Don’t be having fun with some other girl."
"—Err, Wait a minute!"
"What?"
"You really want to shackle me up to that extent?"
Masuzu said with sharp eyes:
"Originally boyfriends are like this, right? In the beginning, I was really naïve. Initially it was Harusaki Chiwa, after that even Akishino Himeka appeared. Even though you are merely an "Anti-Love" in ideology, you’re way too popular with girls, Eita."
Tch, You are the one who has no right to preach about that to someone else.
"But I’m merely a "boyfriend"fake?"
"Idiot, because you are an impostor, your job is to be more real than the real thing itself."
"[...]"
Hnng.
I had nothing to say in reply.
Somehow, I felt that such sentence had some kind of deeper meaning.
"If you don’t even know that, you’re really stupid, stupid, stupid..."
Before we arrived at the bus stop, Masuzu called me "stupid" fifteen times.
As for the number of times she rubbed me with her face —I couldn’t even count.
♦
The next morning.
I waited in front of my house at the usual time to meet up with Chiwa.
Ever since we agreed on it before exams, we’ve been going to school together every day... I felt like my mental state returned to what it was like in elementary school.
"Hey, Ei-kun, did you end up buying "JyoJyo"?"
Chiwa asked as she walked besides me.
"Even though we went to a place rather far away, we bought all the ones I trashed during that commotion, you see?"
I lifted up the paper bag in my hands for her to look into. Inside, there were twelve volumes of JoJo that we bought yesterday.
"You went alone with Natsukawa?"
"That"s right."
"Nothing happened, right?"
"...That"s right."
"Why did you just "pause"? Ei-kun?"
Chiwa’s eyes became very sharp.
From merely the "…" she managed to detect something! That"s just too perceptive!
I ignored the cold sweat on my back and said:
"Nothing, it was really as it sounds. We merely just went to buy JoJo, and that’s all."
"Really? It was only the two of you and you didn’t make any progress?"
"Nothing, nothing at all."
It shouldn’t be called progress, it was more like it worsened. Masuzu even announced that "from now on I"ll be sharp-tonguing and first name you!"
...Well, that face-rubbing certainly had me a little concerned.
Chiwa gave a big sigh and said:
"Really, I should have just went with you guys yesterday—"
"But you were going out with your cla.s.smates, right?"
"Ah, because I didn’t go to the celebration party after the exam, I had to make up for it... Wuah, I originally wanted to eat lots of meat, like cow diaphragm, beef ribs, beef tongue, cow stomach, cow intestines... Uuuuu. "
Right, Chiwa even missed her barbecue party to rush over here.
This girl really had extraordinary comradeship with others.
I thought this part of her was really cute... Even though I would absolutely never say it.
"Thank you, Chiwa."
"Huh? For what?"
"Nothing, I just felt the urge of saying it."
"...Weird Ei-kun."
Even though she said that, Chiwa’s face seemed to beam with joy.
At this time.
"Point "one to eleven", Eita sighted, engage, and capture."
From the side alley, a person’s shadow wrapped around my right arm.
Beautiful hair like a doll swayed in front of me.
"Good morning, Eita."
Akishino Himeka.
She shyly looked up at my face.
"Hi, Hime. What does "one to eleven" mean?"
I tsukkomied her trans-dimensional language and Hime pointed at the sign on the telephone pole.
Mura Town, District 1, #12. [3]
"That’s an address!"
That could have been better than that! Well, they’re all delusions anyways.
EKiMaE was better!
"Good morning —Himecchi!"
After giving her greeting, Chiwa grabbed Hime’s arm and pulled her away from me. Recently, I felt like I was always seeing this kind of confrontations.
"Himecchi, are you going to the club room right after school?"
"Affirmative."
"Because we don’t have snacks, I want to buy some at the cafeteria. What does Himecchi dig?"
"Those pop up candy "Donpacchi"."
"...Are they still on sale?"
As I watched them talk as they walked, I felt warm inside.
Hime was completely accustomed to talking with Chiwa.
At this time, there were two girls that pa.s.sed us while chatting.
Seeing them from the side, they seemed quite familiar. Probably girls from cla.s.s 2.
"What’s wrong, Hime?"
I don’t know why, but Hime stopped moving, staring at the backs of the two girls.
She was silent like this for a while.
Then the gentle "exhale" of her breath——
"G-G-Good morningyu!" "Ouch!"
Along with the loud noise, Hime bowed her head!
The momentum of her bow had hit Chiwa’s back. The "Ouch!" that we just heard was Chiwa’s voice.
The two girls who looked back seemed as if they were looking at something they couldn’t believe.
Hime’s face flushed red and her knees shook… She looked as if she was awaiting the verdict in a trial as she stared at those two.
Shortly afterward—
"Akishino-san! Good morning!"
"G-Good morning! Akishino-san."
One of them smiled very energetically.
The other person, though a bit shy, slightly raised her hand and greeted Hime.
"[...]"
"[...]"
"Uh… Well, see you around then…?"
With nothing left to discuss, the two left as if fleeing.
Hime blushed and watched their backs, raised her nose, then faced me and said:
"Eita."
"Huh?"
"I can say h.e.l.lo now!"
"...Great."
What"s that "g-g-good morningyu", anyways?!
Also, don"t add a headb.u.t.t on Chiwa, anyways!
There were many things that I could have tsukkomied.
But for Hime, this was a first "step".
In order to cleave this gray world apart.
"Holy Dragon Princess of Dawn" had just made a tiny crack.
♦
Then, after-school at the club.
Akishino Himeka formally joined the club and the "Society for Bringing Out Your Maiden Self" finally had four members.
This new member... suddenly grabbed my arm.
"Why is Eita running away?"
"Of course it is because you’re always sticking to me!"
"No, I need to use Spiritual Power (Psychometry) to make you recover your memories from your past life. In order to do this, we need to be touching each other for three hours every day, so hold me."
Even just after newly joining the club, she was already causing a worrisome start.
Masuzu and Chiwa, who sat on the opposite side, stared at Hime with a rigid smile.
"Welcome to our club, Akishino-san, but please leave Eita-kun alone."
"Let"s get along, Himecchi, but you should leave Ei-kun alone."
"I refuse."
It was the same mechanical voice she has always had, except for I felt it was very a.s.sertive. Her hands that held my arm did not loosen at all.
To Hime, did this club become a "New World"?
Even though she was taking advantage of the situation.
But becoming popular was part of this "New World"...
"Even if you are an ex-girlfriend, you still need to act properly!"
Chiwa’s veins bulged and her fist shook.
"Absolutely right. Even I, as the current girlfriend, will not act so shamelessly in front of others, in such a public place."
Masuzu’s mouth twitched.
Hime heard her, but hugged even tighter.
"But this is a club activity."
"Club activity?"
I could not help but tilt my head, puzzled. Masuzu and Chiwa also wrinkled their eyebrows.
"The results of the Transdimensional Logic System’s extensive calculations, has clearly determined that the most attractive girl to the opposite s.e.x is Natsukawa Masuzu."
Sure, everyone knows that already. You don’t need to ask the Transdimensional Logic System about it.
"Therefore, this is what I think —the fastest shortcut to becoming popular and the optimal answer to becoming an outstanding maiden is——"
Hime stared at Masuzu with a firm expression completely out of her old character and said:
"To steal Eita from Natsukawa Masuzu’s side."
"Oh!"
The person who exclaimed in surprise was Chiwa.
Masuzu had her mouth opened wide, she forgot to close it as she stared at Hime.
"...Really now, I see..."
I thought very inconsequentially:
Meaning——
If you can steal the boyfriend from the hands of the school’s most popular girl, Masuzu, you would reach a degree even more cute and popular than Masuzu. In other words "The New • Most Popular Person in School".
Compared to randomly attracting the attentions of random boys, this was a much more efficient method.
Hahahahaha.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
...Ahh.
But I’m the one they’re arguing over!
Chiwa clapped her hands overjoyed and said:
"Amazing, Himecchi! That’s a really good idea! Right, why didn’t I think of such a simple thing! This way we can attack Ei-kun fair and square... No, it should be called a "Club Activity"."
Acting right away, Chiwa hugged my empty arm!
Masuzu said in an extraordinarily rare panic:
"Wait a moment! This kind of thing can’t be allowed, right?"
"Why? Isn’t this a great club activity? Or are you saying it’s not okay because it’s your own boyfriend we’re talking about. But you wouldn’t say such a stingy thing, right? You’re our president after all! You don’t have confidence in your own popularity after all?"
"The present girlfriend should not be able to monopolize Eita. The ex-girlfriend should also have some access to some doors."
"...Kuh..."
Masuzu could not even move one step.
She had been completely cornered.
To compensate for this, Masuzu stared at me with very scary eyes.
...Hey, why me?
It"s-It"s somehow my fault?!
"Hey, Ei-kun, why don’t we go somewhere during summer vacation? Just the two of us, alone. And of course it’s for club activities♪."
"Eita, in order the recover your memories of our past life, I want you to come live at my house. Please note that this is a club activity."
"Eita-kun, there’s something we really need to talk later. This is... not a club activity. You better prepare yourself."
This dangerous atmosphere swirled into a whirlpool.
Three people in the room rallied back and forth with each other, gradually increasing the intensity and degree of sharpness.
This was the opening prelude to the New World.
This was the opening of a new "Mayhem".
"Hey, Himecchi, it’s about time you let go of Ei-kun! Ei-kun’s been sweating non-stop. He must be hot, right?"
"Chihuahua should be more dignified. Eita’s pulse is rising alarmingly and it’s definitely because of you."
"Well, let me take a note♪ "Xth July, Eita-kun was hugged by Harusaki-san and kept smiling foolishly", "Eita-kun was hugged by Akishino-san and kept smiling stupidly", "Naturally, he is using his elbow to rub the chests of those two girls", "Even though he kept saying that his eyes only see me, only see me, only see me, only see me, only see me, only see me, only see me".
Sa—... ve... me...
Anyone, save me!
I"m stuck in the mayhem between my Girlfriend, Ex-Girlfriend and Childhood Friend!
Translator notes and referencesJump up↑ Volume form.Jump up↑ Normally Masuzu acted somewhat "cozy" with Eita in public, but kept being "regularly formal" with Eita in private. Changing to first name basis means that she is going to lower the respect towards him in private. Eita takes this as Masuzu being more aggressive in demeanor towards him, but readers actually take it as that she is going to be "cozier than in public" with him from now on.Jump up↑ If one reads the kanji (野積町一丁目十一番) and plays with the number part, it reads "1 (一) to (丁目) 11 (十一)".