Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru

Chapter 27

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#4: Believing in My Girlfriend is Mayhem

After leaving the family restaurant and saying farewell to Fuyuumi and Kaoru, my cell phone began playing that cursed music just as if it knew it was the opportune moment.

[Subject] Wishing you a magnificent and peaceful summer

[Text] Dear Sir,

as it is the height of summer, I wish you increasingly well with good health.

Cicadas can be heard endlessly, and feeling the character of summer, I wonder if thy honored is doing well these days?

Come to the usual café.

Sincerely.

Just opening the text message made me gush out with fatigue.

To think that texts from my girlfriend could make me unhappy to this extent, it really was innovative…

If she tried applying for "The Guinness Book of World Records", would she make it?

At that thought, the cursed music sounded again.

What is it? Did she forget to say something?

[Subject] Iiidiot!

[Text] Of course I wouldn’t make it on "The Guinness Book of World Records", right?

"You"re the idiot, you idiot!"

I couldn’t help but get angry at the text message.

The eyes of pedestrians pa.s.sing by made me feel awkward…

But how could Masuzu know what I was thinking? Now, she couldn’t have supernatural powers, could she? But maybe Hime’s delusional new world wasn’t too far off.

I thought about these trivial things as I rushed to meet Masuzu who was waiting at the coffee shop. From here it would take eight minutes to walk, but if I ran it would take four minutes. I definitely won"t let her go on and on being so picky about the time again.

I entered the café that was filled with couples earlier and found Masuzu sitting at the exact same seat as last night.

She noticed my figure, suddenly sighed and said:

"Today it"s four minutes, 23.83 seconds. Well, it’s much faster than yesterday, but if you take the current situation, it will still be very difficult to qualify for the inter-highs[1]."

"Don’t— worry— I"m not— going to— partic.i.p.ate."

I sat opposite of Masuzu, completely out of breath.

"If it was such a pressing matter, you didn’t have to send such a long text."

"Well I realized I haven’t sent a summer greeting to you yet[2].”

"Then you should have written a postcard! Don’t mix that up with regular texts! That kind of incomplete partial courtesy is the thing I dislike the most!"

Masuzu gave a "hmph" and said with a childish pout:

"What courtesy? You are merely at a level where you get excited about Akishino-san’s b.u.t.t."

"...How long do you intend to keep bringing that thing up?"

"Of course until your death."

Masuzu said, with her eyes looking like a wild wolf’s.

"Desire • For• b.u.t.ts[3]. That is the only real sense of justice that the two of us share."

"I don’t recall sharing that kind of justice with you!"

"Fine, since I don’t like thinking I’m particularly aroused by b.u.t.ts, unlike Eita."

"And you’re immediately betraying what you said!"

These changes in the wind"s speed are simply too astonishing. It"s like if I was with this girl in the same army fighting together, by the next day she would unceremoniously sell me out to the enemy.

The waitress fearfully helped us as we ordered. She probably thought that we were "a couple in the middle of an argument". But we always had this kind of feeling around us, and furthermore we weren’t even a couple.

"So how did the business with Fuyuumi Ai go?"

"Oh, I definitely have results."

I took a sip of lemonade that the waiter brought, and then looked Masuzu in the eyes and said:

"Fuyuumi really has a boyfriend, I’m sure."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because she told us things about Michel in great details. For example, what she wears to dates, her boyfriend’s preferences, how they met each other, and that type of stuff."

"That’s what you call evidence?"

Masuzu shrugged and said:

"I thought you were going to bring something like Daigoro’s photo. Even then, there is the possibility that it"s just someone else’s photo, so it’s difficult to call that evidence."

"Then, what would you believe?"

"If someone actually meets Daigoro in person."

Fed up with it, I said:

"If you start doubting to that extent, you"ll never see the end of it, understood? Can’t you just believe in what I say a little."

"...That’s true, I"m sorry."

Masuzu stirred her rather dilute iced coffee and said:

"I’m just a woman who is unable to believe in anyone."

"Eh?"

What is this?

Suddenly the subject became too serious.

"Because I myself am a liar, I feel like other people will resort to lying as well. Completely involved in this lifestyle of falsehood, I have long lost trust in people"s hearts."

Masuzu stared at a piece of ice floating in her gla.s.s as she spoke to me. At the same time, I saw a "painful smile" overlap.

——"I am demon."

"...H-How could that be possible, heh?"

I rubbed my nose again and again, and said:

"Even if you certainly are someone who is very distrustful, I definitely don"t think that you are the type who is "unable to believe in anyone"."

"Why are you saying something like that?"

"Because if you really didn’t trust anyone, you wouldn"t be able to do club activities with Chiwa and Hime. Every time you kept drawing up these meaningless plans to become popular, isn’t that proof itself that those two will follow through?"

Masuzu’s expression seemed to suddenly realize it.

"Perhaps, it might just be as Eita says."

"Since you have such a self confidence, the fact that you believe in yourself means that you are already capable of believing[4]."

I said, smiling at Masuzu. Masuzu gave me a big smile in return.

File:Oreshura v03 109.jpg

Eh, I can say some pretty nice things!

It had been a while since I felt like fitting the shoes needed for the "boyfriend" label.

"Then I should be able to trust, too."

"That"s what I think."

"Yes, for example, if my own boyfriend tries to steal underwear from bloomer stores every night, I will trust even such a difficult story—"

"DON"T BELIEVE THAT!"

I gave out a strong denial.

"Huh? But I have trust in my heart."

"This is something you made up! It’s based on a completely biased misconception! You absolutely can’t believe it!"

That being said, what is a bloomer store?!

I don’t even think that elementary schools even use those anymore!

…Are there really still schools like that?

Am I the only one who doesn’t know?

"This is Masuzu. This is Masuzu. Subject Kidou Eita’s pa.s.sion for bloomers has begun to ignite. Over."

"Stop it! Who are you talking to anyways?!"

Even though it felt like I just won a bit, it ends up like this?

Is it impossible for me to win Masuzu over?

Isn"t this like stepping on your own tail?

At this time.

Masuzu suddenly leaned forward and immediately placed her lips near my right cheek.

———*chu*

"———?!"

I clutched where Masuzu touched me on the cheek with the lips, and stared back at her.

Masuzu"s cheeks seemed slightly flushed as she looked away and said:

"Take it as a reward for saying some nice things."

"[...]"

d.a.m.n!

How come?

This is nothing like her usual combat strategy!

Why, why is my heart pounding like this...?

I fell silent, and Masuzu once again brought her face close to me, and whispered:

"Are you excited?"

"H-H-How c—"

—ould that be? I couldn’t finish the sentence.

I definitely am not a liar.

Translator notes and referencesJump up↑ Inter-High: The "inter-high" is a big compet.i.tion between several schools, there is almost technically one inter-high for every sport club and it usually is the club goal to qualify and perform great in it.Jump up↑ It"s a j.a.panese custom to send summer greeting cards.Jump up↑ She is mixing up a famous line which is by the Shinsegumi representing their "policy", the famous "Aku Soku Zan" or "Slay evil swiftly" (悪・即・斬). Her own version is "Shiri Soku Yoku" or "Swift desire (for) b.u.t.ts" (尻・即・欲).Jump up↑ He is playing with words here. Basically, he says that one"s self confidence (自分に自信) means that one believes in oneself (自分を信じ), and thus the "信じ" that Masuzu doubted is there.

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