Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru

Chapter 29

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#6: I Thought it was a Romantic Opportunity, but it ended up as Mayhem

The seventh day of summer cram school.

While the three of us were eating lunch at the cram school cafeteria as usual, Kaoru took out an A4-sized flyer.

"It’s almost this time of the year."

The flyer did show bright, colorful pictures of fireworks.

Hane River Fireworks Festival - it was held every year on August, 1st.

"This flyer is quite well-made."

"I always wished for them not to give it so much publicity. Like this there’ll be a lot of nonlocal people visiting, and it’ll be hard to get a good seat."

I sipped on the tea which I had gotten from my thermos and said:

"Even though the fireworks are beautiful, the crowd is really troublesome, and the places near the riverbank will be unusually crowded."

"R-Right! Wouldn"t it be perfect to have a secret place to watch the fireworks from—?"

I wonder why Fuyuumi"s voice trembled when she said that.

A secret place...?

When I was little, the idea of finding a "secret place" was like being in a dream, but by now I have pretty much forgotten about it.

Then Fuyuumi timidly said:

"Kidou-kun, are you going there with Natsukawa Masuzu after all?"

"It was brought up, but I refused."

"Then, Harusaki Chiwa?"

"It was brout up, but I refused."

"...It couldn’t be... Akishino Himeka?"

"If she brings it up, I’ll refuse."

At this moment something unexpected occurred.

With *clatter!* a chair hit the ground, simultaneously Fuyuumi stood up. She repeatedly shook her fists, which still held her chopsticks, as she said:

"Yaamoon~♪ That magic spell was a HUGE-SUC-CESS! Chance, chance~ Now it’s a romance opportunity! Ai-chan EPIC WIN—♪"

File:Oreshura v03 145.jpg

I looked up at Fuyuumi in a blank daze.

The reaction from everyone around us was just about the same. Everyone stared at Fuyuumi, completely dumbstruck. The rice b.a.l.l.s that some people had been eating fell to the ground, while others, who had been filling water cups, let said cups overflow with fountains. Similar reactions kept coming. From behind Fuyuumi, Yamamoto-kun from the soccer club spurt pasta out his nose. That being said, I hadn"t noticed he was here until now.

Among everyone, only Kaoru nodded his head as if saying "that"s right, that"s right".

Fuyuumi gave an "ah?", when she realized what was going on, and then nonchalantly sat down on her chair. She cleared her throat and said:

"If Kidou-kun is really that happy about the fireworks festival, he’s even more childish than expected!"

"...Uh..."

"That’s no good. You need to mature a bit more, we’re already high school students!"

"[...]"

It is not important. Just say that I"m a little kid, I let you.

"So? With whom are you going to the see fireworks festival? Eh? Will y-y-you please say it loud and clear?"

I didn’t know why, but Fuyuumi took out a small hand mirror and began to fix her bangs as she asked this.

I honestly answered:

"Nah, this year I don"t plan to go."

The mirror slipped out of Fuyuumi’s hands and fell to the ground with clatter.

"W-Why? It’s a rare fireworks festival! What other plans could you have then?"

"I intend to stay at the cram school and study in a self-study room."

"That"s not having other plans! Why don"t you go?!"

"Hmm— Well, I guess you could say that I don"t feel like going this year…"

I didn’t want to go because I hated getting caught in episodes of mayhem. That kind of reason would"ve been just too embarra.s.sing.

"Anyway, isn’t Fuyuumi going with her boyfriend this year?"

"Eh? Boyfriend? What’s that?"

Fuyuumi tilted her head, not understanding.

""What", well, it"s about Michel. The boyfriend you said was from Tokyo. Didn’t you say in the family restaurant that he would return in August?"

"...Ah, t-that! That Michel!"

Fuyuumi clapped her hands as if she had just remember.

"Are there any other Michels?"

"So annoying! Everyone forgets some tiny things once in a while."

"Forgetting your boyfriend"s name is a pretty big thing."

This capricious girlfriend reminded me of a certain Masuzu-san.

"I-I definitely scheduled a date with Michel! But unluckily he’ll still be in Tokyo by August, 1st! So on the day of the fireworks festival, I’m free!"

""Free", huh?"

"Not just free! I’m super free!"

"[...]"

What kind of conversation was this?

Whatever, it"s kinda fun.

"Well, I’m also really looking forward to the fireworks festival."

Kaoru probably realized this conversation was not going to go anywhere, so he was trying to help saving it.

"Tomorrow"s a day off, do you two have some time?"

"Huh? There’s no summer cram school tomorrow?"

I was quite shocked because it was clearly still a weekday.

"It seems like they’re inspecting the facilities, so we"re having the day off. I remember that it was written on the schedule."

"Really?"

I didn’t even notice it myself.

"Well because it’s like that, I got these!"

Kaoru took out three tickets for an action movie that had just been released some days ago. Recently I heard Chiwa say that that film had pretty good ratings.

"How about it? Wanna go together tomorrow afternoon?"

"Well..."

Resting for half a day does sound pretty nice.

And if I pay attention to the subt.i.tles, it might be helping my English.

"Okay? A-chan is going too?"

"Ah, um, of course I’ll go, but..."

Fuyuumi glanced at me from the side.

She must have been considering what her boyfriend would think. After all, if his girlfriend went to the movies with some other guy, he probably wouldn"t be too happy.

But apart from me, Kaoru and Fuyuumi where childhood friends, so it probably wasn’t a big deal.

"Okay, let"s go, the three of us together."

"Ah, Yeah! I’ll go! Let’s go together♪"

Fuyuumi’s expression had a beautiful smile.

If she always had this vibe, it could be fun to hang around with her more.

♦

—Afterwards I told the three girls what happened today at cram school and their reactions were as follows:

"Three people are going to the "movies"? Hmph! So frivolous."

"Ei-kun is just too undisciplined!"

"...A Dragonic Disgrace..."

"It"s just going to see a movie. Why are you complaining so much?"

The time was 8:00 P.M.

We were all called by Masuzu for an emergency meeting, so "Jien-Otsu" once again met in the same open air café as last time. It seemed like Masuzu had come up with a "plan to recover the shut-down club". In either case, it couldn’t be a good thing... But if I didn’t go, the consequences would have been terrible.

Masuzu took a sip of black coffee and said:

"However, this might actually turn out to be a good thing."

"What’s a good thing?"

"In this case, we must take advantage of every opportunity that reveals itself."

We didn’t know what Masuzu was talking about, but she spread out a half sheet of paper that she had prepared at home and brought with her.

It read:

"Capture the Disciplinary Committee Member’s Weakness! Heartbeat? Heartbeat! Date battle!"

"What is this? It just sounds like the name of a boring TV show."

In the end your ways are the ones I consider "so frivolous".

"What? What do you mean? Date? Whose date?"

Chiwa’s eyes began to glow excitedly, as Masuzu began to explain:

"So far, we’ve pursued to investigate Fuyuumi Ai’s weakness, but we couldn"t get any satisfying results. Though this blunder was mostly caused by Eita-kun’s lack of competence, aggression and enthusiasm. However, I - as club president - am also at fault for not coming up with concrete plans, so I"m, like, one percent at fault."

"You dare say...!"

As my fist shook, Masuzu continued her speech before my eyes.

"It was there that I carefully thought about it. The demon disciplinary committee member’s— her lovestruck mentality can be completely exposed, and the best opportunity to exploit it— Isn"t it a "date"?!"

Chiwa and Hime applauded with "whoo", so these two did have points where they could agree on. However, I certainly couldn"t understand what there was to admire.

File:Oreshura v03 151.jpg

"In other words, it comes to that? We stalk Fuyuumi and Michel’s date and try to find some weaknesses?"

"Fufufufu, your thought process is too shallow, Eita-kun."

Masuzu "tut-tut"ed with her tongue.

"The person on the date will be you."

"Huh?"

I wasn"t the only one who let out such a surprised voice, Hime and Chiwa also did.

"Why? Why would Ei-kun... With that kind of person?!"

"Requesting clarification."

Masuzu coaxed the two with "okay-okay" and said:

"Eita-kun and Fuyuumi Ai. Those two together are going on a date, and the girl will "fall in love". It’ll be the male version of our "super popular" exploits, an episode of "Society for Bringing Out Your Gentlemanly Self"."

"I see..."

The abbreviation would be "Jien-Dono".

...This abbreviation makes me want to cry. "Jien-Otsu" feels much better.

"If Fuyuumi Ai has a boyfriend, this would be "infidelity". Thus, the debility we would take a hold of would be great."

"What if she doesn’t have a boyfriend?"

"At that time..."

Masuzu gave a fearless smile and said:

"At that time, the Fuyuumi Ai has simply been captivated by Eita-kun and will become our very own meat doll[1] that will obey our will...!"

"Meat doll!"

With her eyes wide open, Chiwa repeated the line like a parrot.

What an amazing battle plan.

Anyway, however one looks at it, it had to be impossible...

That Fuyumi, "captivated by me"? Didn"t I mishear it for "beating me down completely"[2]?

"But isn"t Kaoru also going tomorrow? There is no room for "those two, together"."

"Don’t worry. Asoi-kun will be Harusaki-san’s responsibility."

"Eh, me?"

When the topic was suddenly mentioned, Chiwa gave out a strange cry.

"Harusaki-san, please go with Eita-kun to the meeting place for the date, and propose to make it a double date."

"I see! It’ll be a date like "I with Ei-kun and Fuyuumi Ai with Kaoru-kun"!"

Chiwa even stood up and began to pant intensely, "Fuui— Baaaa—!", but—

"No-No-No. Didn’t you hear what I just said? It will be "Harusaki-san with Asoi-kun, Eita-kun with Fuyuumi Ai"."

After being immediately denied by Masuzu, Chiwa "dejectedly" sat down. The fever was gone.

"Akishino-san and I will secretly follow you four. When Fuyuumi Ai exposes a decisive vulnerability— I’ll use this to take a picture."

Thus, Masuzu said as she took out her cell phone in camera mode.

"Understood? Akishino-san?"

But Hime still shook her head with a poker face and said:

"An unusual complexity."

"Are, why would that be?"

"Fuyuumi Ai is my Love Master. And Eita is my ex-boyfriend, so it’s a dilemma."

"It is indeed."

I sympathized with Hime because it was a very difficult dilemma— And this was coming from someone with experience (the present experience).

"If those two are going on a date... then I—"

"Then I?"

"Will destroy everything."

"WHAT DO YOU INTEND TO DO AT THE THEATER—?!"

I tsukkomi’d with all my strength. This girl’s talk had gradually become too extreme for me.

Hime looked at me apologetic and said:

"Eita, I’m joking."

"Then you should phrase it more like a joke!"

Anyway, why does it feel like she totally meant what she said?!

"Be as it may, I won’t partic.i.p.ate."

"Well, I’m not cold-hearted enough to force you to betray your Master."

Masuzu very graciously agreed. So cunning. If it had been me, she would mercilessly force me to do it regardless of who I had to face.

"But Masuzu, you say Fuyuumi would fall in love with me, how specifically will we do that?"

"How could I possibly know about such a thing?"

"What in the h.e.l.l is this paramecium[3] saying?" Masuzu"s eyes conveyed such message as answer."

"Eita-kun is the advisor for the "Jien-Otsu", so you should reveal your skills in front of us from time to time."

"That’s ridiculous!"

Originally, I planned to rest for half a day, but now the situation had become a big problem…

"Sigh, well— it might be too much if we don’t provide you with a little support, so I’ll give you this."

Masuzu handed me a small wireless headset, the type that could fit in one"s ear.

"By using this, you can safely use your phone to talk to me completely unnoticed. I will give you some good advice."

"...Your advice in the end..."

It seems like the movie was going to become very unsettling.

♦

Later—

We separated due to Masuzu and Hime going in completely different directions. Thus, I walked home with Chiwa on the street at night.

"Excuse me, Ei-kun?"

"What is it?"

I replied absent-mindedly, wondering how I would survive the coming day.

Masuzu had made this incident very tiresome. Kaoru was the kind of person who would smile and agree, but Fuyuumi wasn’t that flexible. Furthermore she and Chiwa didn"t really get along, so there was the possibility that a fight erupted before we could even see the movie.

"If you’re serious, I won’t forgive you."

"Yeah, yeah."

With regards to how Masuzu ordered me to try to make Fuyuumi fall in love with me, I could only agree superficially and pretend to obey. That being said, it was too difficult anyways. What amount of pheromones did one need to emit to captivate a girl after watching just a single movie?

"If. You. Are. Serious. I. Won’t. Forgive. you."

"Why have you been so persistent about that?!"

I was dragged back to reality from my thoughts, and I finally looked at Chiwa"s face.

"If you’re serious, I won’t forgive you♪"

Chiwa smiled.

But within that smile, there it was "something".

To make an a.n.a.logy, it was a smile like a giant hammer wrapped in a soft blanket.

Even though on the surface it looked very soft, the underlying shape was clearly a weapon!

"W-W-What are you talking about, Chiwa? I-It’s impossible for me to be serious!"

"That’s true—♪"

Chiwa hummed "fum—fum♪" while she practiced sword exercises with a stick which she picked up from the roadside.

Maybe it was because the nearby rice paddy was so close, but the sound of insects was quite loud and it was quite difficult to hear voices clearly.

But in this environment, the sounds of Chiwa’s sword exercises were very clear.

b.u.m *SLASH*!

b.u.m *SLASH*SLASH*!

b.u.m *SLASH*SLASH*SLASH*!

"Errr, Um— Chihuahua-san?"

"Hei! What is it? Yah! Ei-kun? Taaa!"

I wanted to ask her why she was practicing her sword moves so energetically, but it seemed impossible for me to ask.

Then the sound of that cursed music came from my pocket. It was Masuzu’s text message.

I opened the phone to take a look at it—

[Subject] ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ...

[Text] If you’re serious, You won"t be forgiven.

"Masuzu, et tu...?"

Really! They are all the same!Childhood friend and Girlfriend

Aren"t there any decent girls around me?!

Translator notes and referencesJump up↑ Meat Doll: Has a really nasty ring to it; also used in JoJo by Dio.Jump up↑ Wordplay, instead of the original "メロメロ" (to be in love), he uses "ボコボコ(beating up).Jump up↑ Paramecium: Single cell organism.[1]

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