Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru

Chapter 34

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#0: Announcement of the Disciplinary Committee is Mayhem

A commanding storm blew through the area.

"Come on, let"s start the club activities!"

Fuyuumi Ai stood in front of the whiteboard, as she pointed at us.

She was surrounded by an air of importance.

Today was August 2nd, which was also the dark day that ruptured our summer vacation paradise— "The First Day of School. After cla.s.ses were over, our "Jien-Otsu" gathered in the club room for the first time in a long while, but--

"Excuse me... Fuyuumi?"

Chiwa whispered quietly, her right cheek twitching slightly.

"What, Harusaki Chiwa?"

"Why are you somehow acting as if you were a big shot?!"

Fuyuumi wondered as she tilted her head and said:

"The person who worked to save the club from almost being shut-down was me, right? "

"The person who pushed our club to the brink of being shut-down was also you!"

When our club was considered a "menace to school discipline", the person who led the movement that wanted to shut down our Jien-Otsu was the "demon disciplinary committee member" Fuyuumi Ai herself. But after a lot of chaos, Fuyuumi joined the "Jien-Otsu" while taking the role of a "coach". She was still serving as disciplinary committee member, and she still wore that trademark discipline committee armband.

"Since I have joined this club, I hereby prohibit all strange club activities. Please gear yourselves for a transition to more sensible, pure, and beautiful high school club activities, that"s how it is."

"Uuuuuh... She"s only a new member."

"Talking back against the coach is also prohibited, senior member!"

"Merely a rookie, merely a rookie—!"

"Chihuahua, can you please not make Master angry?"

Hime, who stood next to her, stroked Chiwa on the back as Chiwa gnashed her teeth.

"Master is a love expert, and she"ll certainly guide us to becoming "popular".

Hime"s gazed at Fuyuumi with shining eyes full of admiration. To go as far as to call her Master, she must have wholeheartedly worshipped Fuyuumi.

Fuyuumi beamed with joy, nodded satisfied and said:

"It seems you"re quite promising, Akishino-san."

"You can call me Hime."

"Hime-chan, I will guide you to become a pure and proper maiden."

"I"m so glad, Master."

Hime let Fuyuumi rub her head, and she shrugged like she was being tickled. Was this... the birth of a master-student relationship between a beautiful disciplinary committee member and a beautiful Chuunibyou... That"s what it looked like.

"As the president, I also very warmly welcome this increase in club members."

Masuzu sat on the opposite side of the table that Chiwa was also sitting on, sipping a cup of hot green tea as she spoke.

"With regards to the goal of becoming popular, I think Fuyuumi-san will make an excellent coach. After all, Fuyuumi-san has a rich handsome boyfriend who attends a private university in Tokyo."

Fuyuumi"s expression turned morose when she heard this.

"Handsome boyfriend? What do you mean?"

"Didn"t you share with us a few days ago, the sweet relationship that you have with your boyfriend?"

"...Ah, right! You mean Mittland."

"Michel, wasn"t it?"

"Y-Yes, Michel!"

Somehow, I could totally see Fuyuumi"s cheek twitch.

The college boyfriend "Michel" this girl talked about was actually a total lie. He was an imaginary boyfriend.

At that time, when Fuyuumi and Chiwa were desperately quarreling, she was forced to blurt this lie out due to the circ.u.mstances. But since then, she"s been continuously stretching the story.

"R-Right! After all my "Love Experiences" are completely different than yours. Whether it"s cuteness or feminine power, I have the upper hand!"

"Well, well, so wonderful ♪ Please show your juniors, Harusaki-san and Akishino-san that skills of yours."

Masuzu smiled sweetly-- But since I sat next to her, I could see that the surface of her arms uncovered by her short sleeves were full of goose b.u.mps.

After all, Masuzu was "Anti-Love", just like me.

So what about popularity or feminine power? It looked like her heart was rather resistant to this kind of frivolous vocabulary, so much that she could even hold back from showing her true feelings in this type of situation. She really was something.

"Well, you can teach us... the right way to confess to the people we like."

Thus, Chiwa stole a glance at my face. Don"t look at me.

"I also want to see. I want to study Master"s ways."

Hime also gazed steadily at me. Really, stop looking at me!

Fuyuumi shook her head strongly and said:

"The idea of confessing to the boy yourself is wrong in the first place. As young maidens, we need to have the boy confess to us!"

The Spring, Summer, and Autumn trio all exclaimed, "Oh"!

"So to speak, Michel was the one who confessed to Fuyuumi, right?"

"To be confessed by a college student, Master is cool."

"I hope you can tell us how to behave and be mentally prepared during a confession."

Masuzu was probably the number one most-confessed-to person in the school, but she even said this. It clearly made Fuyuumi very anxious.

"Even if you say it l-like that, you only have to be creative. Y-You need to act befitting according to the situation."

"I get it."

Thus, Masuzu turned towards me and said:

"Eita-kun, could you please confess to Fuyuumi-san here and now?"

"Ha?"

"Because I want to give Fuyuumi-san the opportunity to demonstrate the proper behavior of a maiden when being confessed to".

d.a.m.n it, Masuzu. Again you go and say something troublesome.

Fuyuumi hugged her arms close:

"Eeeh-- Kidou-kun will...? Please don"t joke, I have the right to select the person who confesses to me, right?"

"But why are you smiling as if you"re delighted?"

"H-How could that be?! You must be seeing things!"

However, unfortunately, the disciplinary member"s mouth was already smiling softly!

Since I couldn"t disobey a order from the president, I began to act out my "confession scene".

"W-Well, I"ll start then."

"Fine, just come!"

Fuyuumi placed her hands on her hips, and posed with a "tsun" atmosphere.

"What is it, Kidou-kun? If you stay silent, then it won"t be a confession."

"Yeah, I know."

Because I never confessed to anyone before...

Whatever, I"ll just do it casually.

"Fuyuumi Ai-san, in truth I really like you!"

"Hmph, I know."

"I love you— Go out with me—"

"Sorry, but I"ve never regarded you as a member of the opposite s.e.x. Can we just be friends?"

"I understand— I"ll give up——"

"You can"t give up now!"

"Eh?!"

Fuyuumi pointed at me, who was in a daze, and said:

"If you give up now, your chance for love will end. Your feelings for me, your love, you need to make them burst!"

…Such un-unreasonable demands...

"But, if you look at the circ.u.mstances, wasn"t I already rejected?"

"Isn"t that obvious? I"m not the kind of girl that can be conquered so easily."

"Then it"s fine, I might as well give up."

"How can you confess without any enthusiasm?! You need to attack with even more ferocity, and then I"ll refuse you even more ferociously. A confession is just like that."

Yuck, sounds too bothersome—

I turned around to see if the other three would help me, but—

"Ei-kun really doesn"t have guts! After saying that, you are backing away?"

"This person who is one of the Warriors of the Holy Dragon Race, I am very ashamed."

"Such a worthless man, very soon we"ll become strangers."

I was being isolated, and I couldn"t find even half a companion. It was too much, too much.

Just as I was at the end of my rope, Masuzu started to rummage through her bag.

"In this kind of situation, it"s better to let this take the stage."

In a very familiar development, Masuzu took out my "Eighth Grade Notebook".

"That"s a really old notebook. What is it?"

"This was the diary my "first love" left for me. The secrets of how to attract the opposite s.e.x and how to be an attractive person are recorded inside."

"You mean it"s a notebook on how to be popular? Sounds kind of interesting."

It seemed like even Fuyuumi"s interest was perked, and she looked as if she wanted to try it out.

Masuzu"s shoulder leaned close on mine as she opened the notebook and said:

"Please give this "Certainly dangerous ☆ 100% Concentrated ☆ Collection of Pick-up Lines" a try♪."

"Ha? Don"t screw around. You give it a try, you s.h.i.tty poisonous tongue woman."

"Fuyuumi-san? —Let me correct myself, this notebook is actually Eita-kun"s—"

"Pliase let me give it my most earnest effooooooord! Masuzu-wa—n!"

Well, fine. I"ll just do it. If it comes down to this, I"ll give it my all!

As my hands firmly grabbed Fuyuumi"s shoulders, I was willing to do it with more ferocity.

"W-What"s with you all of a sudden? E-Even if you become more coercive to convince me, it"s useless!"

Fuyuumi"s cheeks were blushing a little, and I stared into her eyes and spoke:

""You might not really want it, but I"ll have you go crazy for me.""

"[...] [...] ...Haaa?"

Fuyuumi gave this surprised cry from the bottom of her heart.

And as I was regretting this from the bottom of my heart, I wanted to die a worthless death.

"Why are you saying such embarra.s.sing lines? Are you stupid?"

—Quiet! I"m the one who feels the most embarra.s.sed here!

While I was crying out in my heart, the next bullet fired.

""What you truly want is not lines, but to be reached by the Excalibur KISS[1].""

"Are you all right? Should we go to the hospital?"

I truly made her worry.

Even though I wanted to immediately go home, bury my face in a pillow, and kick my feet, if I stopped now it would be even more embarra.s.sing. I could only see this to the end!

""You should be careful. After all my KISS is called "Reppuzan[2]"Blade Wind｣.""

"...Errr, Kidou-kun?"

""Reppuzan"Blade Wind! "Reppuzan"Blade Wind, "Reppuzan"Blade Wind!"

"Hey, can"t you listen when other people are talking?!"

"————REPPU————————————ZA————————N!"

Huff, this is all I can bear!

Even though I felt like I lost something very important, I tried my best to finish this.

Would Fuyuumi scorn me from now on? But at least Masuzu should be able to understand—

Just as I was thinking this, Fuyuumi"s wrinkled eyebrows suddenly glazed over into eyes looking afar.

""Such a KISS. before it gets to touch my lips gets stopped by a varia.""

"…Varia?"

"B-Barrier!"

"A barrier—"

Fuyuumi was a really interesting person.

I didn"t think she would actually go along with my "Eighth Grade Confession".

But then again, she was the owner of that "Delusional Notebook", so maybe she also had this kind of inclination.

Well, if that"s the case, then I"ll turn up the notch a bit.

""Your universe has been caught in the color of me. Me-ER. Me-EST"."

Wuuuuhhhhhhhhh—

I really want to die—

I didn"t understand what I was saying anymore.

Why would I want to die from making a love confession?

Anyway, why did I always try to add superlatives to nouns back then? This had always been the case since I had been in eighth grade. My English teacher had asked me, "What is the past tense of "IS"?" And I replied, "ISED". It was my greatest humiliation ever.

I thought that Fuyuumi would be astonished to the extreme this time— but I didn"t expect her to be stifling her mouth, looking down.

Did this mean she was happy? Because of this kind of confession?

"Iven if you shtart shaying cool things now, it won"t do any good!"

Is this how I act cool? Me-ER?

I can"t understand how this was any different from the first two attempts I did. Even though I wrote it myself, I still can"t understand.

So it"s good like this? I"ll keep going, then!

I leaned close to the ears of my prey:

""When will you realize that my charm is a social phenomenon?""

"Ahh..."

File:Oreshura v04 017.jpg

Fuyuumi lowered her head and shook her long hair swaying like waves.

Her eyes began to tear up, she turned her gaze towards me and said:

"I-If you just do as you please, I"ll get angry! Don"t make a fool out of a disciplinary committee member!"

""Something even purer than "Pom Juice[3]", the 120% of your fruit juice is what I"ll extract from you.""

"Fwuahh…"

Fuyuumi"s beautiful hair once again began to sway like waves. The movement was greater than before.

Fuyuumi dumbly faced the three people who had watched this entire development.

"L-L-Look carefully evefryone. You can"t possibly let yourself get captured by a stupid guy when he approaches you with lines like these, no matter what!"

I guess it"s time I give the final blow to this disciplinary committee member.

""The more you resist, the more you squeeze out the awakening of the "Beast"Wild Animal that"s hidden inside of me!""

"Enough! You liar! It"s a lie! Lie! It"s totally a lie!"

""Even if I"m lying, it"s entirely because of your pheromones!""

"[...] ...Ahh... [...]"

Fuyuumi"s eyes suddenly sank.

She was like a small kindergarten child stumbling forward with small steps, as she grabbed my shirt.

"I-If you are willing to say that much… t-t-then lesh go out…"

Yes! I got her!

I caught her—

...Strange? What was my goal in the first place?

While I was thinking about my original reason, Fuyuumi happily hooked my arm.

"Anyway, now I"m going out with Ta-kun! Ai-chan EPIC WIN!♪"

The j.a.panese-style pancake in Chiwa"s hands gave a "crackle" sound, then was crushed and scattered.

"What"s———————————going on——————————here?!"

Masuzu revealed a smile with something hidden behind it, tilted her head and said:

"Somehow, I don"t understand what has just happened here."

But Hime had an expression like she was about to cry:

"Master has betrayed me? Really, really betrayed me?"

However, Fuyuumi looked as if that scene had nothing to do with her, instead she could be seen with her face red like a tomato and her lips curved in a broad, soft smile.

She still clung to my arms as she said:

""If you like them, then you can"t help it." That"s the principle of love! It doesn"t matter if it"s the childhood friend, or the girlfriend, or the ex-girlfriend. Not being careful just means that he"ll be s.n.a.t.c.hed away. Remember that well!"

"No kidding! That being said, you"re too easy to deal with. You were so easily won over by Ei-kun!"

"I-I wasn"t being won over! Ai-chan just pitied him, so I agreed!"

The entire time her arrogant att.i.tude hadn"t ceased at all, so it was probably something to admire about her.

In short, it looked like she was out of control, so I whispered to her:

"Oi, A-chan."

"What is it, Ta-kun? Y-You want to stamp it?"

"No. This isn"t good for you, right? You have a "Boyfriend"Michel."

A-chan immediately took some small steps and said:

"I-If I"m with Ta-kun, then I"ll leave him"

Oh that was cute. Really cute.

But if we act on impulse, mayhem will be waiting in front of me, so...

"But didn"t you earlier proclaim in front of everyone that, "immoral activities with the opposite s.e.x are forbidden"?"

"Y-Yes, that"s true."

"And as a disciplinary committee member and the coach of the young maiden"s club, wouldn"t you be setting a bad example? You should also think about the other disciplinary committee members who believe in you so much."

"...Ah, that"s true. Rules and trust shouldn"t be trampled over."

A-chan"s hazy eyes finally rediscovered the light of rationality.

It appeared that she had been restored to the usual "Fuyuumi Ai". Her mood could turn from hot to cold and right back again so easily. It was really easy to understand her character.

After Fuyuumi hugged my arm tightly once more, seemingly reluctant to leave it, she finally released her grip.

"That"s how it is. So the earlier confession act has now ended. And? It should have benefited you all."

The Chiwa who was planning to crawl across the table and pounce, stopped.

"Performance? What"s going on?"

"I said it earlier, right? "You need to have your love burst". I was just playing along those lines."

Masuzu had a suspicious look on her eyes when she said:

"In other words, you weren"t captured for real there, were you?"

"You actually have to ask that? After all I already have a handsome boyfriend. Why would I be won over by Kidou-kun?"

"Eita-kun, could you repeat that last line from now once more?"

""Even if I"m lying, it"s entirely because of your pheromones!""

"Unyaaaaa—————! I lub Ta-kun! I really lub him—————!"

The escape route was completely destroyed.

I quickly cleared my throat with a dry cough. Fuyuumi got back to her senses.

"—Ermh, in short, it"s like that."

Masuzu smiled and tilted her head.

"Like what?"

"This so-called love, is something that you can"t control before it bursts. J-Just like I demonstrated it to you all moments ago, it"s like that!"

Chiwa"s eyes were filled with resentment when she said:

"So it really was an act?!"

"Of course! You have to confess as enthusiastically as that, or be confessed like that! The road to popularity is very dangerous!"

Fuyuumi finished with, "Do you get it?", and Chiwa nodded reluctantly.

"Seeing how things went, we"ll leave it at that for now— Okay, Fuyuumi?"

""Ai" will do, really. And I"ll call you Chiwa."

"Well, Ai— Why did you just call Ei-kun "Ta-kun"?"

Guh——

"I am also very concerned about it. Eita also called Master "A-chan"."

Guh— Guuhh——

"Don"t you two seem very close? During one simple summer, how did you become so intimate after attending cram school together?"

d.a.m.n...

I carelessly called her name the way I used to.

Should I rely on nonsense to cover it up? No, I just did things half-heartedly, so it"s a bit difficult—

"Since it"s exposed, I guess it can"t be helped."

Next to the distressed me, Fuyuumi was the first to open her mouth.

"Actually Kidou-kun and me are childhood friends."

Spring, Summer, and Autumn, the three of them were shocked, stunned.

Even I was stunned.

I didn"t expect her to throw such a fastball.

"W-Wait a minute. I"ve never heard of this before."

Chiwa approached Fuyuumi rudely.

"If you"re Ei-kun"s childhood friend, then shouldn"t you also have been my childhood friend? But I didn"t meet you until we arrived at Hane High!"

"When did you first meet Kidou-kun?"

"In first grade, after I moved next door to Ei-kun"s house, our relationship has been very good. We"ve been together for nine years."

"Hmph? Nine?"

Fuyuumi smiled.

It wasn"t that arrogant "disciplinary committee member" smile which we"ve seen before.

It was a rather conservative but fully a.s.sertive smile.

"The first time Kidou-kun and I met was ten years ago. We"ve been together ever since "Star Cla.s.s" in kindergarten."

Chiwa wasn"t able to even gasp, as she stared at me with an expression like she was about to cry.

"Ei-kun, why didn"t you ever say something about that until now?"

"It"s not that he didn"t say. He had forgotten it until we spoke to each other in summer cram school."

"I"m not asking you here! Hey, Ei-kun!"

As Chiwa shook my shoulders, I gave a big sigh… I guess I could only trust in my luck.

"As Fuyuumi said, I had forgotten. Because she moved away before we started elementary school, I forgot about it entirely until recently."

"Even earlier than me? You met her earlier than me?"

It seemed like Chiwa was very persistent about that point.

"I"ve met Fuyuumi ten years ago in spring. Chiwa has moved next door nine years ago in spring, so Fuyuumi was earlier than you by one year."

"That"s…"

Chiwa bit her lips firmly, and sank into silence.

"...Wrong..."

Hime suddenly said.

She pulled hard on me, and hung wildly on my right arm as she whispered:

"I"m the one who met Eita first, because past-lives are even earlier than elementary school or kindergarten. So it"s neither Master or Chihuahua. As the ex-girlfriend, I am the earliest."

Hime hugged me, her body trembling slightly.

Even though she always appeared very well-behaved, and unremarkable if compared to Chiwa or Masuzu, it probably had taken her a lot of courage to say that. She used to talk like a spoiled child before, apparently during this month she had grown a lot.

For me, however, this growth was equal to a much more hectic mayhem. So to be honest, I had mixed feelings.

"Eita, hold me."

"No, I won"t. But I can rub your head?"

"...Today, I"ll hold back..."

I rubbed Hime"s head, and she immediately smiled and raised her lips. Great, it looked like she had recovered her enthusiasm.

"Wait a minute, what is this past life? What is this ex-girlfriend thing about?"

Fuyuumi tilted her head, Hime then stood straight and said:

"In our past lives, Eita and I had a romantic relationship. So hence I"m his ex-girlfriend."

"U-Uh-huh...?"

Fuyuumi looked at Hime"s insistent face and seemed to give up asking about it.

"Well, in short, the human relationships of our club are rather complex and mysterious."

With her silver hair swaying, my "girlfriend" Natsukawa Masuzu stood up.

She looked at Spring, Autumn, and Winter one by one, and stated in a calm tone:

"However, everyone, Eita-kun happens to be my boyfriend. I don"t know anything about kindergarten, I"m not clear about elementary school events, and I don"t plan to ask about what happened in your pasts lives. But now, he belongs to me. Please, by no means forget that fact."

The three of them looked as if they wanted to say something as they stared back at Masuzu— but in the end they remained silent. One by one they dropped their gaze.

Such an incredible impact.

This is the pride of the legitimate wife.

No one would ever think that Masuzu was just acting the character role of a "girlfriend"...

However, at this point I couldn"t possibly tell what would come next.

Regardless of to what degree it went, an act was still a act.

In the end this was a performance merely at the level of a children"s talent show— If an experienced adult saw us, it would be noticed right away.

Translator notes and referencesJump up↑ In English.Jump up↑ Reppuzan: Lit.: "Gale-wind Slash". A meme which has been around for long and is being referenced in this scene. There are even some MADs about it using this very scene.Jump up↑

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