Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru

Three days after all the commotion.

Ever since that day, Chiwa had never come over to my house for dinner. How would she solve her own food problems? Eat bentos from the convenience store? Or cooked food from the supermarket? Chihuahua-chan must have been craving for her favorite kinds of meat.

I was a little...

Because I was… a little bit worried, I sent dinner to her.

Since I figured she would not accept it if I brought it to her in person, I left the lunch box on the front porch bench of her house.

The next morning:

There was a message returned to me, attached to: The empty lunch box.

"Not enough meat."

...Even though she trampled my generous (?) heart…

But it seemed like she had cooled down.

I had started to think that there weren’t any problems anymore. Yet unexpectedly at lunch break—

"Does Eita know? The new rumors about Chihuahua-chan?"

As I was eating in the cla.s.sroom, Kaoru began.

"What? Has she been called to the staff room again?"

"No... According to the students in cla.s.s five, they said she was acting very strange."

She was usually kind of weird.

"Specifically how strange?"

"She ran in late for school with a slice of bread in her mouth."

"Ah?"

What"s with that?

"Also, when she speaks, she adds "nya"[1] to the end of all her sentences."

"...To high school students, this was too shocking."

No, even to middle school students, it would also be a shocking behavior.

Even in anime or games, such characters with such a rough personality "do not exist"— Saeko-san, certainly said say that.

"And she also came to school wearing oversized ribbons like something that an heroine from a kiddy anime would use, and ultra-thick makeup like those worn by kabuki actors. She made the teacher very angry."

Disregard the ribbon... she put on makeup?

These acts were nothing like the things the old Chiwa would do.

"Does Eita have any idea why she’s acting like this?"

"…I have."

Of course.

She probably wanted to become "popular", so she tried to take the advice gained from her shoujo manga.

Yet, regardless of how you thought about it, it must have been a huge fuss.

"You should quickly think of something to do, right?"

"Eh, w-why me?"

"Because Eita was the one who caused it?"

"...It"s not..."

I couldn’t deny it.

Kaoru looked calmly around the cla.s.sroom, then whispered:

"I never thought Eita and the famed Natsukawa-san would start going out. I was also very surprised."

Masuzu was not in the cla.s.sroom.

Every lunch break, I never knew where she always ran off to.

"In any case, I think it’s even more important that you deal with Chihuahua-chan properly."

"You talk as if there’s something between Chiwa and me."

Even in middle school, there had been people who suspected there was some relationship between the two of us.

However, I thought Kaoru had always understood.

Chiwa and I were not in that kind of relationship.

"Regardless of whether the two of you have a relationship or not, in short—"

Kaoru had a serious expression and said:

"Chihuahua-chan is, for the current Eita, just like real family, right?"

"...Well, that"s true."

Right now my only family was Saeko-san.

But— I guess Chiwa can also be considered.

We eat together every day.

If you compared her to Saeko-san, who was never at home and always working, perhaps Chiwa was even more like "family".

"If that’s the case, at least you can"t say that you are not related to this, right?"

"Ah, uh..."

To be frank, I had wanted to forget about this matter and wait until the wind blew it my way again.

Because if I cared, wouldn’t that make it as if I was getting popular?

Moreover, this was fundamentally the route to mayhem!

On the surface, everything might indeed look like that... but that isn"t simply how it is.

The relationship between Masuzu and me was "fake". As for Chiwa, she was acting rashly because of nothing.

"Well, good luck , Ei-kun."

After eating lunch, Kaoru patted me on the shoulder and left. He seemed to be busy with some work as the student council secretary.

Three other secretary girls came to the cla.s.sroom door to greet him, and the boys in the cla.s.s even whistled to tease them.

Despite this, Kaoru still looked "indifferent", yet the three girls were as red as apples.

I heard that girls liked Kaoru.

Even though he wasn’t at the level of Masuzu, Kaoru was still very popular.

Ever since middle school, such rumors had been never-ending.

For some reason, no one has ever heard of him going out with anyone…

Does he like anyone?

"...It can’t be Chiwa, right?"

I suddenly blurted out what I was thinking in my heart.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

No, no, no, no.

How could Kaoru possibly like Chiwa?

♦

After that, it soon came to that time of the day.

It was that wonderfully happy time that Natsukawa Masuzu-san and I happened to spend together.

Wow—

I am, so, overjoyed—

...Ah.

In short, please take a look at this first:

"Hey, Masuzu—"

"I refuse."

She answered immediately.

I haven’t even said anything yet.

""Hey, Masuzu, can I just at least tell Chiwa that we’re "Fake"? " Something along these lines, right?"

"Ah… Right."

This person was very frightening.

Could she read my mind?

"Kind-hearted Eita-kun was thinking such things, right? I understand. Because Harusaki-san was acting strangely today, you feel responsible?"

"Sort of."

It seemed that Chiwa’s behavior had even reached the ears of Masuzu.

"What would you do if Harusaki-san revealed it to everyone? If the fake aspect is revealed, the "wall"[2] will be no use."

"I"ll tell her she has to keep the secret."

"No. "Listen, this is a secret, but..." or "While this is a secret, in fact, ah..." like this one becomes ten, ten becomes one hundred, and the secret is no longer a secret. This is the enemy of all secrets."

"[...]"

I had nothing to say. She made a sound argument.

"Sorry, I was wrong."

"Such a sincere way to apologize, I like that."

*niko*[3], Masuzu"s face smiled.

With this illegally wonderful smile, just how many men have been plunged to h.e.l.l…?

"Then I"ll have to think of some other way to get her back on track."

"Ah, although we’re limited in capacity, I"ll gladly help."

Since school ended, many students stared at us from the side of their eyes. Like always, we were very conspicuous.

Although I was inexplicably restless, Masuzu calmly walked in plain sight of many people.

The worlds we lived in were entirely different.

"In any event the main point seems to be that – Harusaki-san is acting like this because she "wants to be popular", right?"

"Probably."

"Then, does Harusaki-san has someone she likes?"

"No, I don"t think so."

I never heard her mention anyone in either her grade, or any senior she thought was handsome.

"Really?"

Masuzu examined my face carefully.

Her eyes were filled with skepticism.

"To lie on that, why would that bring me any type of benefit? Chiwa and me have known each other since we were little, yet I’ve never heard her talk about any boy in that way."

"No, I don"t mean it in that way."

"Then what do you mean?"

"Nothing?"

Masuzu shrugged:

"For Eita-kun to be so clueless about it, that"s actually pretty fortunate."

"...What, what?"

She was deliberately making it complicated.

"So: "Even though she doesn’t have anyone she likes, yet still wanting to be popular...""

Masuzu nodded and said:

"That is, in other words, to be a b.i.t.c.h[4]."

"Don"t say "b.i.t.c.h"!"

This woman...

How could she call someone else"s childhood friend that!

"Basically, as long as Harusaki-san gets a boyfriend, she"ll naturally settle down... Shouldn"t that be a sure thing?"

"It should be."

Let her find a boyfriend...

It was really hard to imagine the scene.

"We‘ll help her find one."

"What, "help her find", do you mean...? Ah..."

She didn’t mean "prepare" instant ramen[5].

"I’ll come up with something by tomorrow. Tomorrow, after school, bring Harusaki-san and look for me."

Masuzu looked pretty confident.

"Hey, what are you plotting?"

"I’m thinking about it right now. You’ll just have to wait for tomorrow. Fufufufufu."

Masuzu replied while laughing giggling.

...What are you going to do?

♦

Thus, the next day after school—

"*wan*[6] *gaugaugau*[7] *wooofwooof*"

"Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, that hurts! Don’t bite me! Don’t pinch me! Don’t grab me!"

Chiwa had bitten my sleeve with her large mouth.

She also pinched my cheeks, and grasped my arm.

In short, I brought Chiwa to the room Masuzu specified.

"What do you want, nya?! Why did you take me to this place, nya?! You always leave me alone. Why don’t the two of you go home, nya?!"

Masuzu appeared with a fearful smile:

"Fufufu, I don’t know whether you"re a dog or a cat anymore."

"No, I’m a human..."

I feel a little uneasy.

Is it really okay to bring Chiwa here?

This was the third floor of the school, the east wing, where cultural societies generally met. At the southern end, there was a huge five-meter square empty room.

The inside was completely empty, except for a table and chairs. One corner was covered with four tatami mats, which looked like traditional j.a.panese-Style tatami seats, but really weird.

Masuzu was kneeling upright on a tatami in the corner.

Somehow, in front of her was a set of four calligraphy treasures[8].

"Welcome, Harusaki Chiwa-san."

When and where did she change her clothes? Masuzu was wearing a red kimono which was decorated with bright eye-catching embroidery. Her silvery hair was tied up, exposing her delicate neck. This outfit truly revealed her charm, and the kimono was very well-suited. Even I, who was always around Masuzu, wanted to let out a sigh of admiration. If other boys saw her, the number of Masuzu’s fans would surely increase.

"What’s going on, nya? I"m busy, nya—"

"Today, in order to persuade Harusaki-san to join our club, we brought you here."

"Club?"

Chiwa and me asked with one voice.

"Hey, you’ve never told me this! Masuzu, what’s going on?"

"Aren’t you in the go-home club, nya? What club are you talking about, nya?!"

"I heard Harusaki-san was recently trying hard to become popular with the boys. It is said that you’ve been sounding like a female cat in estrus, because it was part of your strategy to become more popular."

"Who are you calling a female cat, nya?!"

"It looks like it didn’t have much of an effect."

"T-The effects will slowly begin to appear, nya!"

In my opinion, even if a thousand years had pa.s.sed, the effects would not appear.

"Harusaki-san."

Masuzu coldly started at Chiwa.

"Please recognize reality."

"W-What...? Nya."

"You’re short, with a baby face, your upper and lower body are tiny… In short: You have the appearance of a child."

"You’ve said too much. Nya!"

"Your brain has the maturity of a childish adult toy."

"I understand what you mean, nya!"

"In short, regardless of your appearance or behavior, you simply are too naïve. If you go on like this, even after a million years, you won’t be able find a boyfriend, never mind the dream of becoming popular remaining just a dream."

"Even then, so what? Nya!"

"Although it makes me feel strange to be the one saying it..."

Coughing, Masuzu cleared her throat.

"I am exceedingly popular."

"[...]"

"I am popular. The popularity even bears more popularity, and it"s so much that it"s to the extent that I"m fed up with it, but there’s no way for me to stop attracting the gentlemen."

Chiwa was so surprised that she forgot to be angry. She was just dumbstruck, with her mouth open.

"Nevertheless, I wasn’t always like this."

"Huh...?"

I couldn’t help mumbling.

Masuzu went also through an unpopular phase?

"I also tried and was defeated in various attempts and efforts… Anyways, the most important thing that led to my success was the presence of this."

Masuzu spoke as she pulled from the schoolbag next to her a B5-size notebook.

That"s strange?

Why do I feel like the cover looks familiar?

Particularly, that path of stains... Is this a déjà vu?

I remember the time I overturned a cola drink, and caused a stain—

Hahaha.

Ahhahahahaaahhh.

"Hey, you, Masuzuuuuuuuuuu—————."

"Thanks to this notebook, I became popular."

"What are you thinking of doing with thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"

"Ei-kun, you’re noisy! What were you saying? Is it really thanks to that notebook?"

Because she was so excited, Chiwa forgot to add a "nya" at the end of her sentences. She leaned out and stared at the cover of the notebook… Almost as if she had been completely seduced by an exaggerated advertising campaign that swindled people.

"This notebook was something my "first love" gave me as a memento. How to be an attractive person? How do you attract the opposite s.e.x? He recorded all of those doctrines under the appearance of a diary. Our club will use this notebook as our guidebook, for the research and study of how to become popular."

"W-What happened to your first love?"

"In March of this year, he left a message that said: "Our battle is starting!", he then left to the local convenience store, never returning."

Masuzu covered her face with her kimono sleeves and sniffled as if crying.

Is this person an idiot?

Who would actually believe this obviously vain and rotten story, and then cry—

"Ah, ah, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to ask! I’m really sorry!"

"[...]"

Yes, there she was, Chihuahua-chan.

Even if you were so thickheaded, I couldn’t hate you[9] .

"If there is someone unpopular suffering in front of me – "You must save them" – He would surely say. Even more so, since you are Eita-kun’s childhood friend. I couldn’t just sit idly by, so I created this club."

"Eeehhhh?"

Chiwa timidly recoiled backwards.

"I’m begging you, Harusaki-san. Please let the lowly me help you become super popular!"

Masuzu’s expression looked very realistic despite the acting, and she stared pleadingly at Chiwa.

Chiwa looked away.

"I understand what you are saying, but in this situation I can"t simply say "then, I"ll be under your care", you can realize that, right?"

Mhm, that was well spoken.

A person just listening would smell something very fishy. After all, everything developes way too quickly.

As expected, it seems like Chiwa wasn’t foolish to that extent.

"Then, will you run away?"

The fake crying suddenly stopped.

A provocative smile surfaced on Masuzu’s face.

"I-I wasn’t going to run! This and that are two totally different things—"

"When aiming for victory, one needs to resort to every possible means, right?"

"R-Right!"

"To cling to some boorish pride, then fail, that would be very humiliating, right?"

"[...]"

Chiwa bit her lip, and lowered her head.

This is bad...

This kind of questioning that emphasized the spirit, and a persevering way of life… for Chiwa, who was sporty down to every corner of bone marrow and brain tissue, considered the "sporty blood type"… this was an extremely effective tactic.

"Hey, Chiwa don’t think about it so seriously, okay? Just keep working hard like you did in the past…"

"Right—"

Masuzu interrupted me:

"Eita-kun will also join the group as an advisor. If Harusaki-san doesn’t join, it will just be the two of us all alone for the club activities —doesn’t this bother you?"

Chiwa’s eyes immediately fired up, "Boom"!

"I"ll do it! And it’s not because of your deceiving words!"

"H-Hey, Chiwa..."

"What, Ei-kun? Do you really want to be alone with this woman that much?!"

"[...]"

According to our school rules, new clubs needed to have at least five members.

To keep a club from disbanding, they should also have at least three members.

In other words, it was impossible for "Masuzu and I would be alone in club activities".

But by now, however, I couldn’t open my mouth against Chiwa’s burning and raging eagerness.

...I don’t care, you guys can do whatever you like.

"So it’s decided, then, fufu. The club activities seem like they’ll be very interesting."

*clap*! Masuzu clapped her hands while smiling.

"And then what? Can we use this as the clubroom? And what’s the name of the club?"

Masuzu picked up the brush next to her in response to Chiwa.

She smoothly wrote on the white hanging scroll several fluent words.

The text she wrote—

"Society for Bringing Out Your Maiden Self[10]."

It was really like Masuzu’s style. I thought the name had a particularly ojou-sama style, with a very sociable feeling.

"It’s a really good name!"

Chiwa’s eyes lit up as she spoke.

Well, if she likes it, it’s just fine.

——Just when I was thinking this, Masuzu whispered to me:

"Abbreviated, it becomes "Jien Otsu"[11]. Just kidding♪.

Without a doubt.

Undoubtly—

This girl, is a Demon.

From the "Society for Bringing Out Your Maiden Self" application form:

Aspirations of each member:

Masuzu: "In order to improve myself, and familiarize myself with Hanenoyama High School’s temperament."

Instructor: "Good luck on becoming a young maiden."

Chiwa: "I absolutely, absolutely have to become more popular than Natsukawa!"

Instructor: "You should give up on the hatred first."

Eita: "Let me say a few things. Survival is difficult. I hope to save the lives of others. I will never give up. Teya—!"

Instructor: "I could see the enthusiasm of Kido-kun in that last "Teya—"! Good luck!"