Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru

Chapter 5: Eighth-Grade Syndrome VS. Disciplinary Committee President Mayhem

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Chapter 5: Eighth-Grade Syndrome VS. Disciplinary Committee President Mayhem

During lunch break.

Without even eating, I went to Cla.s.s 3 to apologize to Fuyuumi and explain to her the events of this morning.

"I see now, it was all for Himecchi."

In the beginning, Fuyuumi"s mouth was shaped like a ｢ヘ｣, but after I finished explaining everything, it straightened out.

Of course, Fuyuumi and I had already changed into our uniforms. There was no way we were going to wear this morning"s outfits all day.

"But, couldn"t you have told me this from the beginning?! When I was dressed up like that—it was seriously too embarra.s.sing!"

"S-Sorry…"

This was probably the first time in Hane High history that a student wore burial clothes to school. Next year, there"ll probably be a line in the student manual that will clearly indicate: ｢Wearing white burial clothes or the equivalent to school is prohibited｣ or ｢Bowing prostrate at the school gates is prohibited｣.

"I didn"t realize you cared for Hime that much. I"m sorry."

"Well that"s obvious, because I"m her master."

Fuyuumi snorted and tilted her chin to the side. Her defiant expression was seriously cute, and I couldn"t stop myself from being engrossed with it.

"You"re a woman with strong feelings, Ai-chan."

"Even if you say that, it"s not going to make me happy!"

"Then what am I supposed to say?"

Fuyuumi heard this and then shot a glance at me from the side.

Then, she extended her hand under the table—from this corner of the cla.s.sroom, her cla.s.smates who were eating lunch wouldn"t be able to see anything—and so, she grabbed my hand.

I couldn"t help but glance all around us:

"Y-You shouldn"t do this! In this sort of place, if someone saw us—"

"I want you to say I"m ｢very cute｣."

"......?"

"Please say, ｢Ai-chan is very cute｣, okay? I only want Ta-kun to say this one sentence."

Fuyuumi gently twined her fingers and lifted her head to look at me with teary eyes.

"I-I can"t, because I have a girlfriend. Also, you"re a disciplinary committee member who"s supposed to be upholding proper moral conduct…"

"I know that already…"

As she said this, her fingers started wrapping around me tighter and tighter.

"If you don"t say I"m cute, then I"m not letting go. You can just have your afternoon cla.s.ses right here."

"D-Don"t say such disturbing things!"

A girl who was eating sandwiches two seats away glanced at us. Thankfully she didn"t notice the mayhem that was happening under the table, but I was restless nonetheless.

……I guess I didn"t have a choice.

I brought my mouth close to Fuyuumi"s ears while she fidgeted like a child. Then, I whispered softly.

"Ai-chan"s very cute. I love how you"re so considerate to your friends."

The moment Fuyuumi heard this, her cheeks caught a rose-red color and her expression instantly became cheerful and overwhelmingly bright. Underneath the table, she vigorously shook my hand. Oww, it hurts, it hurts. It hurts when you bang my hand against the corner of the table.

"Ai-chan going outside to swing on the high bar——!" [1]

"A new version!?"

I tightly grabbed onto the table to prevent Fuyuumi from running away. How dangerous. I was nearly yanked away to the athletics fields.

Fuyuumi sat down again and drew her shoulders closer:

"Ta-kun, um that…"

"What? Is there something else?"

The girl from earlier looked at us again, but this time she definitely thought something was suspicious about us. She started whispering to the girl who was eating a bento across from her.

Fuyuumi should have been aware of this, but she kept bringing her shoulders closer and closer.

"Wearing that outfit next to Ta-kun really made my heart pound."

"Yeah, it really made me sweat."

Now that I mention it, it was the same now.

"It was just like a wedding. It made me so happy."

".....huh?"

"Remember? I said it before. Didn"t I say I wanted to get married at a shrine?"

"So what about it?"

"The burial outfit is white, right? Your clothes were black, Ta-kun."

At this point, I finally understood what she was talking about.

She was referring to how the bride in a traditional j.a.panese-style wedding would wear a spotless white kimono. Similarly, the groom commonly wears a black patterned hakama. The Holy Dragon Knight of Dawn outfit was also black.

"Only you would make that kind of a.s.sociation just from the color! Besides, the only thing similar is the color!"

How obnoxious. So very obnoxious.

Basically it was a wedding between a chuunibyou groom and a bride wearing burial clothes!

"I"ll bear with the embarra.s.sment from this morning and consider it a dummy run for our wedding ♪."

"No, I can"t take any more."

It looked the students from Cla.s.s 3 were starting to notice that we were flirting instead of eating. I heard things like, ｢Isn"t that guy Kidou?｣ ｢Hey, what"s he doing? He has a girlfriend already｣. Not good. If this became a rumor and my ｢girlfriend｣ or childhood friend heard about it, I"d be murdered.

As I was trying to come up with a plan to free my hand and escape, a familiar-looking girl with gla.s.ses ran into the cla.s.sroom. I recognized her as the second-year in the disciplinary committee who stood next to ponytail-senpai at the school gates.

"Ah, Yukinohara-senpai, what"s up?"

As her senpai approached us, Fuyuumi reluctantly gripped my hand tightly for a moment, and finally released it.

"Fuyuumi-san, come to the disciplinary committee room immediately."

"Huh?"

Gla.s.ses-senpai shot a glance at me:

"Akishino Himeka-san was brought to the president."

 

♦


We walked behind gla.s.ses-senpai in the hallway during lunch break. I whispered to Fuyuumi beside me:

"The president is that antenna hair-senpai[2], right?"

"Not antenna hair! It"s Ishige! Ishige Mari-senpai!"

I recalled the the beautiful third-year girl who suffered acute love poisoning from earlier this summer. On the surface she seemed morally strict and proper, but when she went out of control, she was an indescribable person.

As soon as we entered the disciplinary committee room, we found a platoon of disciplinary committee members lined up. The fifteen of them all seemed like totally serious girls, and they had a very overwhelming aura.

Hime was sitting in a chair and surrounded by disciplinary committee members. Although her expression was like usual, I could tell that her knees were trembling ever so slightly. The fishing rod had been propped up on the wall behind her.

Ishige-senpai looked at me with cold eyes.

"This is the disciplinary committee"s territory. I don"t remember allowing you to come in."

"Since you called Hime here, this is also my problem, because we"re companions."

Even if I was actually very afraid, I still stood straight with my chest up. I couldn"t let Hime feel uneasy.

"How praiseworthy of you to care so much for your comrade. However, this is a problem for the disciplinary committee of this school, so I hope you won"t b.u.t.t in."

Senpai"s antenna hair stood up with a snap. It looked like she was an exceptionally good mood today.

"Himecchi"s acted like that for our school"s anniversary festival performance, so if you"re going to punish her, I think you should include me along with all of the members of the Maiden"s Club in this."

Fuyuumi bravely interrupted, but—

"Even so, why was Akishino-san dressed like this yesterday morning? There are eyewitnesses who testified that Fuyuumi-san also seemed very surprised."

We were easily struck back, and I was at a loss of words. It looked like the president was equally merciless with her own members.

Ishige-senpai turned around and faced Hime.

"I wanted to ask you something. Why did you bring that fishing rod to school?"

"If I"m to say it in a way that people from this era can understand, it"s to prevent the imminent giant wyvern impact (WYVERN IMPACT)."

Even if it was the same every time, it made no sense at all.

"Why do you have to stop it? What will happen if you don"t?"

"The world will change. As the children of Adam and Eve, humanity will be exiled and replaced with Wyvernians that will inherit the genes of the the wyverns. They will be the new rulers of the world."

"Will we be killed? Will all of us be killed?"

Ishige-senpai"s antenna hair twitched slightly.

I didn"t know when senpai was going to shout, ｢Stop joking around!｣. I felt like I was watching a timebomb ticking down. Fuyuumi also seemed to think similarly, and she seemed to be at her wits end as she approached my shoulder… don"t you dare take advantage of the situation and hold my hand!

"I need to be at the center of the wyvern impact in order to save this world. This is the only way to to prevent the Wyvernian invasion. Thus, I must use the holy power (KAMUY) of ｢Raijin Slayer｣ to seal the dimensional gate (GATE) of this school."

"So that"s why you brought it from home."

"Affirmative."

"Even if you"re breaking the school rules, you have to bring it? At the worst, you could be suspended from school."

".....A-Affirmative."

Senpai fired question after question at Hime who had a rather fearful expression.

"Do you have a conscience as a student of Hane High? Do you have any remorse for violating the school rules?"

"A high school student is my false ident.i.ty. All along, my true ident.i.ty has been the ｢Holy Dragon Princess of Dawn｣. Even if I"m alienated or hated by the people of this world, I must carry out my destiny."

Hime faced the sharp glare of Senpai and responded squarely, even if she was shaking a little.

During the summer, I saw a similar scene.

When her sister, Yuuhana-san, rejected her interests and talked c.r.a.p about her friend, Mana, Hime forthrightly spoke out with her thoughts.

However, this time when she seemed to stand up for herself—to me, it looked like it was ｢stubbornness｣ as opposed to ｢forthrightness｣. It was the kind of stubbornness where she wouldn"t change the way she thought no matter what they told her.

It was like she needed to affirm her ident.i.ty as the ｢Holy Dragon Princess of Dawn｣ through external words to convince herself.

When Masuzu said, ｢It"s like she"s confined herself within her own circle｣, is this what she meant?

"—Do you really intend to continue to insist that you"re right?"*

Senpai"s antenna hair didn"t move at all.

Just like the calm before a storm, Senpai stood with her hands on her elbows as she silently concentrated her stares at Hime. Was she finally angry because of the denpa radiation from this bad student?

I desperately turned my thoughts as I tried to think of something to say in defense. What if I exploded in Chuuniybou like the time I helped Chiwa in front of the station or when I drove away Mana from the clubroom? No, the situation is different than it was then. This wasn"t an opponent that I could deal with merely by being energetic.

What should I do—?

"How… How amazing!"

In an instant, Ishige"s face blossomed into a flowering smile as she fervently grasped Hime"s hand.

"I never knew there was such a serious and just warrior who fought evil right beside me! You protect the world just like we protect justice, right? As the president of the disciplinary committee, I"ve never had such an honor."

Hime didn"t affirm it or deny it, and she stared at Senpai as if she completely forgot what to say. She was completely frozen.

Also, I was thinking, ｢What the h.e.l.l is going on?｣. Fuyuumi was taking advantage of the confusion and hugging me. Whatever, she can do what she wants.

The ponytail-senpai who was at the school gates this morning gave a dry cough:

"But, President, if you let her boldly carry that kind of rule-breaking item around, it"ll be a bad example for the other students."

She was referring to the fishing rod that was leaning against the wall.

"That"s true…"

Senpai"s hair antenna wound in circles as she contemplated a little:

"Akishino-san. Can you leave that Raijin Slayer in the committee room for now? If we go with you say, this school is the dimensional gate that the Wyvernians are going to enter through, right? If that"s the case, I think it"d be safer if we protected it here rather than you carrying the sword with you everywhere."

"...N-no objections…"

Confronted with Ishige-senpai"s easily fabricated ｢setting｣, Hime"s stiff shoulders drooped. It looked like she completely lost her will to resist.

And just like this, Hime was excused of any guilt.

Furthermore, she had willingly put down that fishing rod while maintaining her delusional chuunibyou state.

Towards this, Hime was probably the one who was the most surprised.

 

♦


After Hime was led out of the room by Fuuyumi, I boldly inquired:

"Hey, Ishige-senpai. Did you really believe what Hime said?"

Senpai looked back at me.

"ARCANA DRAGONS—"

"!"

Senpai had a smile like a mischievous child who succeeded at a prank when she saw my astonished expression.

"That girl was talking about the plot in ｢Holy Dragon｣ right? I"ve also read the volumes my little brother bought, and it"s a very fascinating manga."

"H-How unexpected."

Then, just based on this point, she most likely didn"t believe in Hime"s delusions.

"Kidou-kun, you"ve misunderstood us from the disciplinary committee."

Senpai looked around at everybody surrounding her as if she intended to address everyone:

"When one uses force to suppress others and make them follow the rules—this kind of practice is extremely strict, because people do not obey so easily. If we do things to that extent, then there"s no reason to give students any autonomy; we"d leave it to the teachers to do the disciplining. If we want others to comply with discipline, we must first respect the ｢freedom of their heart｣. That"s the best method. Don"t you think so?"

"...Yes, I suppose that"s right."

Honestly speaking, I had misunderstood this girl.

Ishige Mari-senpai was truly a ｢disciplinary committee president｣ worthy of Fuyuumi"s respect. Her tolerance was so was great, she was nothing like the other disciplinary committee members.

You"ll have to work hard to become like that, Ai-chan.

"Oh right, Kidou-kun."

"Yes?"

"What"s your relationship with Akishino-san? I heard that she was a member of your harem, but what"s the real story?"

Her interest was overbearing and her eyes sparkled as she spoke. Uh—basically, she was the love-struck type. Seeing how love was her favorite topic, she really is Fuyuumi"s senpai.

Well, if it"s her, then I guess I could tell her the truth.

"Akishino Himeka is my ex-girlfriend."

".......Huh?"

How incredible. Her hair antenna became a question mark. What was her hair made out of?

"She had a lovers relationship with me in a past life, so that"s why she"s my ex-girlfriend. She"s also a companion who fought the Wyvernians with me. I think we had five children, but because my annual income was so low I couldn"t put anything in the bank. My life was filled with lots of twists and turns, hahaha."

The question mark shaped hair antenna straightened out.

Senpai pointed with needle-like fingers as if to jab at at my sides.

"Don"t joke around you shameless person! Girls, take this boy to the disciplinary room!"

"Why are you doing this to only me?!"

It looked like the only people who could be forgiven for their chuunibyou are ｢beautiful girls｣.

I-It"s not fair!

 

♦


In the disciplinary room, I was very brutally reprimanded by Ms. Ponytail and Ms. Gla.s.ses.

Lunch break wasn"t even enough for them. After school, I was taken away and severely reprimanded again. In the end, they gave me three 400-word sheets of paper and forced me to write my repentance until the boxes on each page were crammed full.[3]

"C-Can I go home now?"

"Fine, and don"t come back."

I was basically dying as I wobbled and left my seat. It was already five o"clock. Was there still anyone left in the clubroom? I guess I should go show my face.

"—If that Natsukawa Masuzu had never set up your club, I would never have been as severe as this."

I heard this quiet complaint from behind my back as I was about to leave the room.

"What does that mean, Densora?[4] What"s wrong with Masuzu?"

Ponytail-senpai realized she made a slip of a tongue, and she looked as if she was cursing herself. However, she decided to explain it to me in the end, perhaps because she realized there was no way she could cover it up.

"It"s because Natsukawa Masuzu has all sorts of problems."

"Well… you"re right about that."

I did think that Masuzu"s flaw was that she wouldn"t allow other students to understand her.

However, hasn"t Masuzu always been playing dirty from behind the scenes? She was always the one to make the plans from behind other"s backs.

Just like Chiwa"a ｢Dorara Performance Event｣ and my fight in front of the train station, she absolutely would never show her face in public.

The incident in front of the school gates today was a big exception.

"President doesn"t want me to talk about this, and Fuyuumi doesn"t know. That"s why I hope you won"t tell others….."

"I won"t say anything. I"m Masuzu"s boyfriend."

Ahh, right, Ponytail-senpai nodded. I never expected that my status as the fake boyfriend would actually come into use in this sort of situation.

"Natsukawa Masuzu"s guardian is an extremely troublesome person. He doesn"t act with the appropriate approaches, and he"s interfered with our school quite a number of times.

"Doesn"t act with the appropriate approaches?"

"He utilizes his status as a politician in the Hanenoyama city periphery—Masuzu"s father seems to be a very influential person."

I remembered something.

Around the beginning of July, Masuzu"s little sister, Mana, said something similar: ｢He should know what Suzu"s like in school based on the politicians from this area｣.

"Previously, the fight that broke out on campus which was related to her was suppressed down into the dark. No matter what we said, the teachers and administrative staff didn"t do anything."

Ponytail-senpai gave a sigh.

She was referring to the incident when Mana charged into the ｢Jien-Otsu｣ clubroom. Indeed, we never received any discipline from any teacher even though it was such a huge uproar.

It was most likely because Masuzu"s father stifled it all into the dark...

"President Ishige is a very generous person, so she didn"t cling so rigidly to this point, but I personally can"t accept it. If something like this happens again, even if someone wants to interfere, I will definitely protect the discipline—please tell that to your girlfriend."

"I refuse."

"What?"

"Because this is a problem between Masuzu and her father, so others shouldn"t b.u.t.t in."

"......I see."

Senpai didn"t say anything after that.

I could only speculate—but I felt that there was an entanglement between Masuzu and her father that outsiders couldn"t penetrate. It wasn"t just about her parents. I knew absolutely nothing about Masuzu"s private life.

I could only wait for Masuzu to tell me of her own accord.

《Pachi Lemon》October · Special Autumn Love Horoscope

When a couple is together during the long nights of autumn…..♥ Cute-Popular Love Test!

Penname, ｢Holy Dragon Princess of Dawn｣"s response:

Q1: The art of autumn! What would you draw on a blank canvas?"

A1: Evil demon summoning incantation

Q2: The exercise of autumn! What kind of exercise would you do with your boyfriend?

A2: HYPER OLYMPIC. No using measuring tape. *

Q3: The appet.i.te of autumn! Which restaurants do you want to go with your boyfriend?

A3: Hunting on the spot. Then eat on the spot. This is the rule of the battlefield…..

Q4: Reading in autumn! What books do you recommend to your boyfriend?

A4: 《h.e.l.l"s History》

Q5: Romantic in autumn! When you kiss, will you close your eyes?

A5: I will open my third eye…...

Your autumn fortune is: Your chuunibyou will increase!?

Pachi Lemon"s Editorial Department"s recommendation: If a chuunibyou wants to have love, first get some common sense!In a certain Olympics video game, as long as one uses measuring tape to hold down the joystick and then flick at it, one can achieve such high speeds and performance records that it"s practically breaking the rules.

 Translator notes and referenceJump up↑ High bar is the single bar in gymnastics.Jump up↑ Ishige-senpai"s name is a punJump up↑ In j.a.pan, lined paper actually occurs in boxes like this:  up↑ I need this named to be checked. I have a feeling it"s wrong: 田宇
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