Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru

——In my case, even though they are flowers, they are more like flower sparks![1]

It was during the afterschool hours in early June, right after the seasonal change of clothing.

I was standing on the rooftop of the darkening school premise.

Before me was a girl in the same grade as me.

Harusaki Chiwa.

I"ve been hanging out with her since first grade. In other words, she"s the so-called childhood friend.

High school year one. Age 15.

Her short stature only reached up to my shoulders. Two flicks of long hair on both sides were fastened with ribbons, which made it resemble the ears of a dog. Her big, round eyes were, for some reason, innocent-looking like those of a puppy. Her skirt, with some evidence of it still being new remaining, fluttered in the wind.

Tiny.

Cute.

But, deplorable.

First, her eyes were deplorable.

Attached to an inverse triangular shape, they were bloodshot. It seemed like she could kill with her gaze. Those upturned eyes were glaring at me, as I stood facing her.

Also, the air around her was deplorable.

Her veins were showing on her temples. "Haah, haah", she panted like a beast. Her violent aura was as much as to say, "I just stabbed a person. It won"t make a difference if I make it two now. Aah? Nii-chan".

No matter how I looked at it, she was too tensed up.

That tensed up Chiwa pointed her tiny finger towards me,

"I-I"m going to co-confesshyu!"

"..."

Right at the beginning this fella had stuttered.

"Even when I talk about confessing, I"m not talking about "I actually failed!" or "the person who ate the shortcake was me!"."

Who would actually take the trouble to call me up to the rooftop to talk about these things?

"The confession I"m talking about i-is a l-love confession."

I heaved a large sigh.

As I squinted my eyes due to the rays of the setting sun, I calmed myself.

"I got it. Let me hear your feelings."

"Y-Yesh!"

"Suuhaa, suuhaa", Chiwa took a few deep breaths.

"...Can you wait for a while?"

"What now?"

"Wait for a while, just wait for a while."

Chiwa went to the entrance of the rooftop to retrieve the belongings she had left there.

What she took out from the leather bag, was a Shinai[2].

By the way, Chiwa was not a member of the Kendo[3] Club. While she did Kendo until ninth grade, she didn"t carry on in high school[4].

Yet, she adopted a middle-stance with the Shinai she had brought for some reason.

"Alright, I"m set!"

"No, you aren"t?!"

"But, I feel calmer like this."

Indeed, her nervousness had left her.

Her expression had also become relaxed.

"Hnnnnn! Somehow, I can feel my tension swelling up! Prepare yourself!"

"Hey, isn"t this a confession? A love confession, right?!"

My body sensed danger and I backed off.

"That"s right, it"s a confession. Ki-eeeeee!"

In a splendid manner, Chiwa shuffled her feet forward and closed in.

"W-Wait, wait! What kind of girl would brandish a Shinai while confessing?!"

"Don"t sweat it. Even my sensei from before once said, "don"t fuss too much over the form"."

Of course I would fuss over it! It"s my life here!

"B-but, didn"t you give up on the sword? Aren"t you going to walk the path of romance? Didn"t you say that you wanted to have a love life like those in shoujo manga[5]?!"

I desperately tried to persuade her.

To think that a love confession could be this dangerous...

"...I got it."

Chiwa lowered her Shinai.

"Sorry. Let"s redo it. I"ll get it right this time."

Chiwa stiffened herself and looked up at me.

Her black eyes were gooey-looking like those of a puppy.

Her soft-looking hair fluttered in the wind.

Her small hands grasped her skirt and then released it nervously.

...Uhn, high quality indeed.

From her appearance, it was quite unbelievable that she had no boyfriend up until now.

"Erm, hey. Ei-kun[6]..."

Ei-kun.

That"s how Chiwa addresses me, Kidou Eita.

"It"s embarra.s.sing, so please stop", I"ve told her that umpteen times, but she never did stop, even until today.

"Ei-kun, I can still remember the time when you were in fourth grade... while carrying your lunch to the cla.s.sroom, you fell and got smeared with curry, and as a result, you got the nickname "Careless Indian"."

"...Aah."

Hahaha.

That was a good old "story that was still funny today" to bring up between the two of us.

"I know that in fifth grade, when you couldn"t hold it in any longer, you dashed into the women"s toilet, and consequently, for the entire second term, you were called "Women"s Toilet Overdrive"."

"Gufu..."

I clutched my stomach and my knees buckled to the ground.

Th-That nickname... is unbecoming for a joke you know, Chiwa.

"And during summer vacation in sixth grade, you hid the p.o.r.nbook, "Doppyun Serenade"[7], which you picked up from under the bridge, in a puppy"s kennel."

"Please stoooooooooop! I beg you, forgive meeeeeeeeeee!"

I"m already.

I"m already on the verge of tears.

Dug up.

My dark history has been dug up...

"I really love the Ei-kun who did all this."

"Stop lying?!"

What kind of maniac hobbies do you have?

With a seemingly perplexed look, Chiwa said,

"What do you mean by lying? I really..."

"What are you planning to do by exposing my past? Is there a confession that deals out such a blow of mental damage?"

"But the manga said that this would go well! "This fella can actually remember all these things to such an extent"!, "Because, I"ve been always watching you ☆", it said."

No...

While I don"t know the contents of that manga, words like "women"s toilet" and "Doppyun Serenade" shouldn"t appear in it.

"Anyway, it"s a love confession, right? You should be praising my strengths, right? Such as, "You"re always studying earnestly". Or like "You scored the highest in the recent mid-terms"."

*Hm*, Chiwa folded her arms and looked away.

"Because that"s all boring."

"What do you mean by boring! Isn"t it the duty of a student to study?!"

"I preferred the idiot Ei-kun in middle school, though."

"I even took such great pains to become your practicing partner, so what"s with that att.i.tude?!"

"What"s with that belittling look?! Even when you"re younger than me!"

"Only by three months and ten days! How long are you going to act like a big sister, this "Deplorable chiwawa"[8]"!"

And at that moment.

"That should be enough, both of you."

A girl stepped out from the shadow of the water tank.

Her long silver hair danced in the wind.

She gazed at us with her clear, blue eyes.

Her skin was white like powdered snow, and her lips were l.u.s.trous looking like cherries.

With foreign blood mixed in, this fairy-like beauty —if Chiwa could be considered "ordinarily cute", then this fella could be called "incredibly beautiful". A princess who hogged many treasures which many girls would be unable to lay their hands on, no matter how much they wished for them.

My cla.s.smate Natsukawa Masuzu.

"Fuu", she breathed out as she tilted her head,

"Is it really impossible for Eita-kun to be the practicing partner of a love confession, I wonder?"

"That"s why I said that right from the beginning, didn"t I?!"

—And so, well.

In short, the series of confessions just now were all a "play".

The conceited Chiwa who loved to act tough and has a muscle-filled brain, was now practicing for the sake of becoming a "Super Popular" girl with a love life like those found in shoujo manga. Training. Learning through an experience.

And I was pulled into the role of the partner for this special training arranged by Masuzu.

If I am going into the details of how things had gotten so complicated bit by bit—

"What a shame, Harusaki-san. Even after I went to such great lengths to lend you my boyfriend."

Masuzu winked as she clung onto my right arm.

*biki*, veins popped out from Chiwa"s temples,

File:Oreshura v01 015.jpg

"Th-that"s my bad, Natsukawa Masuzu. What"s so good about Ei-kun, I totally don"t get it!"

That"s right.

It"s unbelievable, but this incredibly beautiful girl, Masuzu, is my girlfriend.

...Well, she"s not just any "girlfriend", though.

But that"s kept secret from Chiwa.

"If you can"t comprehend the charm of Eita-kun, then your dream of becoming super popular will just remain a dream, you know?"

While giving a sidelong glance to Chiwa, Masuzu pressed against me even closer.

"O-oi! Don"t get so close to me, it"s stifling."

"You"re as shy as always. I also like that about you."

This...

Don"t get ahead of yourself, Masuzu.

I"ll definitely not yield to the allure of a woman.

Your hair doesn"t smell good!

Your breath against my ear doesn"t feel ticklish!

Not to mention that your soft and squishy bulges are not tooouching my arm!

Uwah.

Oooh.

"Ei~-ku~n?"

I returned to my senses from my brief and momentary reverie.

Biting her lower lip, Chiwa glared at me with her upturned eyes.

Scary...

Who was it? Who was the one who gave this fella the nickname, "Chiwawa"?

She"s a Tosa[9] however you look at it, right?

"Don"t you— don"t you— don"t you dare to make out in front of me!"

"But, we"re a lovey-dovey couple. A lovey-dovey couple. A lovey-dovey couple."

Why did you say it three times?!

"Hm. It"s not good to lie, Natsukawa Masuzu. Lovey-dovey? Where? Ei-kun is breaking out in cold sweat, isn"t he? No matter how you look at it, he"s being pressured, right?!"

"No, the main cause behind my cold sweat is the pressure of the rage you"re emitting."

...But I didn"t say that.

Life is precious.

"Oh. Isn"t this modesty part of Eita-kuns charm? You"re still a child though, so you wouldn"t be able to understand."

With her eyes shining mischievously, Masuzu enthusiastically entwined her arms around mine.

Chiwa"s face became increasingly more drawn.

"A-Aren"t you the one with a strange preference?"

"Oh. I don"t want to hear that kind of comment from a person who still likes to wear teddy bear panties even though she"s already a first-year."

No, no.

The last time when Chiwa wore such panties was when she were in fourth grade, you know.

There"s no way she"s still wearing—

"W-W-W-W-What"s wrong with that?!"

*waai*

She self-destructed—

"Because I like teddy bears..."

Seeing the tearful eyes of Chiwa, "Oh dear", Masuzu began to shake her head,

"As much as you may like them, you can"t attract the attention of gentlemen with them, you know?"

"I-I"ve never thought of attracting them with my panties! Besides, I"m not a pervert!"

"Nope. As a lady, to ensure that we are always ready when our beloved invites us to spend the night together, we must constantly have our best lingerie on us."

"In that case, teddies will do just fine! They"re cute, right?!"

"That will only be forgivable if you are an elementary school student. Just as one would expect, a high school student has to battle it out with "black". Right? Eita-kun?"

"Eh?"

She directed that at me?

"Eita-kun, what you love is the black color that can bring out the s.e.xiness of an adult, right?"

"Teddies are cute right? It suits me, right?"

Masuzu"s smiling face, Chiwa"s teary eyes; both of them sidled up to me.

I scratched my temple,

"No, if my lover was either of you, regardless of your lingerie, I would pa.s.s."

"Aah?"

"Huh?"

"...Nothing."

I kept quiet after I felt their glares fixated on me with intimidating eyes.

It"s only during times like these that they"re totally in sync, huh?

"Jeez Eita-kun, you"re surprisingly curt today, aren"t you? You should just act like always, going "Masuzu-chan"s opanchu,[10] I wonder what today"s will be like. Yahoo!", while you roll around on the ground, you know?"

"I"ve never done anything like that before!"

"E-Ei-kun, you always do that kind of thing?!"

"Like I said, I don"t!"

"The perpetrator denies it."

"Who are you calling a perpetrator?! Even as a joke, is that something you would say to your boyfriend?!"

"...I"m sorry."

Masuzu apologized meekly.

"Those wicked words were not what I truly meant. It"s a bad habit I picked up —so to speak, a folly of my youth."

"What"s that?"

Masuzu spoke as she lowered her eyes.

"When I was in middle school, there was a time when I aspired to be like a character from a certain manga. A beauty with a wicked tongue and an air of bewitching s.e.xual appeal that floated around her. Wanting to become someone like that, I mimicked her mannerisms and way of speaking. And that still remains in me."

"...Hahaa. I see."

Well, it"s not like I don"t understand.

I also, a long time ago, had aspired to be like the nihilistic antagonist of a shounen manga[11] and had mimicked his way of speaking and rude actions. Even though I was really a squib who can"t even litter.

"Therefore, there is really no deeper meaning behind my wicked words. So just let them pa.s.s without taking them too seriously, OK, Mr. Half-Price Bento[12]?"

"What"s with that nickname?!"

"It means you are someone who goes for foodstuffs that are on the verge of expiring."

"Seems like there"s an incredibly deep meaning to it!"

How can I let that pa.s.s without taking it seriously?

It"s impossible no matter how tolerant one is...

"Ei-kun. What in the world do you like about this woman? Don"t tell me you"re a m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t?"

Asked Chiwa with her eyes watery.

"Well? I really... have no idea myself..."

I gazed into the distant setting sun, and I could only leave my body to the raging wind.

"It"s really simple, Harusaki-san."

Masuzu grinned.

"What Eita-kun really wants is just my body."

"I beg you, stop talking alreadyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

—This is, well, something like that.

A story of me getting caught up in a place where mayhem reigns.