Chapter 1 - Amakusa Kanade"s Bitter Daily LifePart 1What does a person do if an erotic book falls by the roadside?
The natural thing would always be to take a glancing look.
If the person is a high school student, there is the problem of appearances. He cannot instantly pick it up, but he can go all-out in taking peeks.
If the exposed pages are a little manic, then there will be a rise in the tension.
However, such small happiness is often crushed.
[CHOOSE: ① Press it up against your face and smell it ② Eat it]
Right now, these choices appear in my head, and I must choose one choice or the other. It"s always that way.
Erotic books are commonly read to get excited. If you"re excited to smell or eat them, then you are the type who would already be excited that way.
However, I... smelt it.
I wasn"t excited at all. That"s natural. After all, being so close to it, I could only see skin color with no detail whatsoever.
"Woooow, look at that guy."
"Smelling the erotic book, what a pervert!"
Grade school kids pa.s.sing by pointed and yelled at me.
"EroSmeller is looking this way."
"Haha, that guy is absolutely a virgin. Vir-gin!"
They ran off, laughing.
"...What am I doing so early in the morning?"
When it was satisfied, I quietly placed the erotic book back down on the roadside.
『Absolute Choice』
The phenomenon is, as the name I gave it suggests, one where I absolutely have to choose one choice or the other. It creates a choice made of neither spoken nor written letters in my head.
Information is transmitted from an unknown source directly into my brain, which instantly comprehends it.
It ignores all five senses; even if I close my eyes or block my ears, it will not disappear until a choice is made.
"Oh, Kanade-chan."
Abruptly, a deep voice came from in front of me.
"Geh..."
When I looked up, there she stood. Gondou Daigo (49), a housewife living nearby whose weight exceeds three digits[1]. Seeing her body was like taking a punch to the gut.
"Kanade-chan, are you on your way to school now?"
"Ye-yes, that"s right."
Daiko-san, who appeared to be returning from the convenience store, glued her eyes to me when I stepped into her view.
"Nufufu, you are as cute as ever."
"...!"
Chills ran down my spine.
Every time we meet, this person is weirdly happy to see me.
Apparently, I look exactly like her ex-husband when he was young. What kind of useless miracle is that?
Due to a reason like that, every day my virtue is in danger. Using school as an excuse, I attempted to left quickly.
"Th-thank you, but I"m running late."
[CHOOSE: ① "Please hold me." ② "Please hold me and go with your instincts!"]
...Are you serious?
The choices sometimes require words, not just actions, and no matter how unreasonable, the choices appear and must be followed absolutely.
Even if it says ① and ②, how are they different?
"...Please hold me."
I whispered the words in a low voice, as if I was trying to disappear. At the same time, a predatory light shone in Daiko-san"s eyes, like a beast locking onto its prey.
"Kanade-chan... Finally."
This is getting way too dangerous!
"Wa-wait a moment, I just- Nooooo!"
"I accept, thanks![2]"
What is happening?!
The lump of meat dashed madly at me, and I was hugged with all her might.
"Gyaaa!"
She"s too strong! Even my bones are breaking[3]! I have to say something before it"s too late!
"Give in... I give in!"
My scream was totally ignored.
"Gyaaaaaa!"
"Fuu, thank you for the feast."
After many seconds pa.s.sed, Daiko-san was satisfied(?), let me go, and laughed as she walked away with heavy lumbering footsteps.
"Gu..."
I braced my wobbling knees and barely prevented myself from sinking down.
The time between absolute choices is completely random. It"s not unusual to have them consecutively, but the combo of the erotic book and Daiko was too severe.
Feeling tired, I began to walk. As I approached the crossroads...
[CHOOSE: ① A beautiful girl falls from the sky ② Daiko-san falls from the sky ]
...No no no.
Daiko-san just walked towards her house moments ago... how is that possible? I know all too well, though, that Absolute Choice doesn"t accept the laws of physics.
Once a choice states it, no matter how unscientific it may be, it will happen without fail if you choose it.
That is to say, if I chose ②, the probability of Daiko-san falling from the sky would be 100%. If I was to be hit by her... I"d die. Body and soul.
By eliminating that, it left me wondering at the wording of ①.
"What would happen then?"
Surely, a person would appear in the air? I looked up at the sky fearfully. Nothing was happening.
"?"
While I wondered and looked down in front of me for a moment...
"Dowaaaa!"
Something was falling at blistering speed before my eyes and slammed into the ground.
"Nnn... Auuu..."
I was at a loss for words. Even though I had been somewhat mentally prepared... Something seriously fell.
But in the next moment, besides the idea of something falling, an intense question appeared in my brain.
"What... Is this?"
Because the person(?) was doing a human bridge position.
Disagreeable as it is, there"s no other way to describe it... The person(?) who fell... was definitely doing a human bridge position.
Not facing downwards, or facing up; instead, it did a splendid bridge.
...Why?
It was too surreal a spectacle; I was frozen in place.
I froze for a dozen seconds. The living bridge suddenly collapsed.
Because of that, I returned to my senses. It pushed the mental impact of seeing a human bridge land and reminded me that a person fell from the sky.
"A-are you okay?!"
I was near panicking and was frantically shaking the body.
"Nnn... Fumiyu?[4]"
As though she was waking up, a weird sound escaped from her.
"Go-good..."
She was alive. My chest heaved a sigh of relief as she looked up.
"Ah? Here... where am I?"
She restlessly scanned the vicinity until settling on me.
"Um..."
She was breathtaking. Skin so white she was almost like a ghost, soft, fluffy blond hair, and clear, round blue eyes. She wore chocolate colored fairy-tale like clothing.
And above all, a figure too buxom for a non-white[5]. Her whole appearance was too surreal, and I couldn"t help but be stunned.
Unlike me who couldn"t find any words, her face suddenly brightened.
"Amakusa Kanade-san, right?"
"Eh?"
I was bewildered by her suddenly saying my full name.
"Ah... yeah, that"s right."
I searched my memories, but I can"t find anything regarding this beautiful girl in my brain.
"Err... you are?"
"Yes, my name is... Ah? My name is... Hmm... what was it?"
"No, I don"t know..."
The girl looked like she was thinking a moment, then clapped her hands suddenly.
"I understand! I have lost some memories, like amnesia."
No, you really shouldn"t say that so s.p.u.n.kily.
"When I fell, I likely received a strong shock to the head."
No, you did that beautiful bridge and your head didn"t touch the ground.
"Oh well, I"ll remember before too long. I"m the Heizamon of calmness."
Heizaemon of calm[6]... No one uses that expression these days, especially an openly foreign girl... Saying that was extremely incongruous.
"Ah... For now it would be good to call me Heizaemon."
I"ll pa.s.s.
"Now, putting aside the name issue. Lets have an important talk, Kanade-san."
"Important?..."
She stepped close to my side with a defenseless smile, and I suddenly felt strange.
What is it? The sense of deja-vu was strong.
"Please? Kanade-san?"
I got it... It reminded me of a dog.
It arbitrarily comes to your hand with unconditional trust and goodwill. This girl and a dog give off the same vibe.
By reflex, I petted her head.
Was this appropriate? Although I thought that, her face gave out a joyful expression that was far from hating it.
"Hehehe."
"Hmm?"
Part of her forelock stiffened and raised up unnaturally. When I stopped stroking her head, it returned to its original shape.
"Ah, when I"m happy it stands freely."
A tail... She"s a dog after all.
Suddenly, a desire appeared. Inexplicably, I stretched out my hand to her.
"Hand."
"Yes!"
She held hers out.
"Sit."
"Yes!"
She did it. She"s perfectly like a dog.
"Gugyuuuuuuu."
Then suddenly, a terrible sound echoed. For a moment it sounded the cry of a voice actor, but apparently it was this girl"s stomach rumbling.
"Ah, I"m hungry.[7]"
It was a grotesque image.
"You"re really that hungry?... Ah, I might have something."
Remembering something, I reached into my bag and groped around.
I pulled out a small chocolate bar. The moment it appeared, her face lit up.
"Ah, its chocolate!"
"Do you like this?"
"I love it!"
Her smile covered all of her face. It"s forbidden to give chocolate to a real dog, but this girl was only dog-like. She was still human... right?
"Yes."
I undid the wrapping and threw it lightly in the air. She hopped to where it was falling and caught it with her mouth in mid-air.
"Delish![8]"
Seemingly blessed, her face smiled happily. Like earlier, her forelock rose like a tail. It stood straight up... How strange.
"Ah, let"s go with that."
She finished the chocolate and clapped her hands.
"What was that?"
"It"s Chocolate."
"Ah, what?"
"That"s my name."
"No... I don"t understand what you mean."
"Kanade-san, do you like chocolate?"
"Hmm, I guess so. To the extent of putting some in my bag... I like sweet things in general."
"Then, my name is Chocolate."
What a simplistic way of thinking.
"No, Chocolate isn"t chocolate."
"Ah, I"m not? Then... How about a French sounding Chocolat.[9]"
I don"t know which side of being intelligent she"s on but when I think of Chocolat I think of a dog. The provisional name stuck though.
"Yes, it is decided!"
Ah, if she"s convinced, it"s likely good to go with it.
It"s only a part of her memory that"s lost. If she hears many things maybe she will remember her name. Chocolat(?)... First of all, in order to determine how much memory she had, I asked her purpose.
"It is to take care of Kanade-san."
With no hesitation she declared that.
"Ah? Caring... for me?"
"Yes. Though my other memories aren"t clear, that is completely certain."
Somehow, the situation has become weirder.
"I-is that so?... Then, your home; where are you from?
"There!"
She pointed above her head.
"Ah? From the north?"
Judging by appearance, she definitely wasn"t Asian... Did she mean Russia, or even Northern Europe?
"No, above the sky.[10]"
"Above... the sky?"
"That"s right!"
No... though she did fall from the sky.
"In short, in order to take care of me you came from a world in the sky?"
"Just like that."
Chocolat took a guts pose[11] with a huge smile on her face. In contrast, I felt chills in my heart.
"Goodbye!"
"W-why are you leaving? Please wait!"
I don"t like doing it, but... It is all very dubious.
"I"ll absolutely benefit you if you let me try staying with you!"
Why did Chocolat run after me while rubbing her hands together?
"No, things suit me fine now."
"Right now, I come with detergent."
"No. You are not a newspaper."
"I also come with watermelon and tempura."
"That sounds like it"ll give a stomachache!"
"With an apple and a gorilla!"
"I don"t need them or a trumpet and panties!"
"Marriage and a letter of divorce are included!"
"Those absolutely shouldn"t go together."
"I also come with a plot of land and the deed."
"I need that!"
"Sorry, that"s a lie."
"Tell the truth!"
"『Guri and Gura』[12] also come with me."
"I have it. Don"t make fun of a masterpiece!"
"Baka and Test also come with me."
"Things like that aren"t sufficient! If that"s the case, it"s a failure, right?!"
"Then, buy this suspicious jar. Sign here."
"Trying to make a sale in a moment of confusion!..."
...Ku, who on earth is this person.
It"s better not to get involved with her. I decided that and turned to walk away.
"Aaa!"
Behind me, a horrible fake voice rang out. I ignored it and continued on.
"Aaaaa!"
It was likely to keep going if I didn"t react. Reluctantly, I turned around. Chocolat was coquettishly lying on the ground while looking up at me.
A handkerchief from somewhere was stuffed in her mouth as a prop... To think that such an irritating person had showed up.
"Later."
"Wait a moment, a weak girl has fallen down! You should be solicitously asking 『Are you okay, Baby?』"
Such lines are only permitted to Hanawa-kun[13]!
"You see, I have to be at school, so I don"t have spare time to bother with you."
I"ve become more rude and less friendly with her[14]. My brain must have judged that I don"t need to respect this creature.
"It"s okay! I"ll listen to anything, so more, please!"
"Then, don"t pay attention to me."
"Oh, I"m sorry. You have asked for a wish my power is not sufficient to fulfill."
Are you Shenron?![15]
Troubling... What should I do to shake off this strange creature?
While I was thinking about that, a certain thing caught my eye...
"Chocolat-san, Chocolat-san."
"Yes, what is it?"
I took the remainder out of the bag.
"Ah, it"s chocolate! Can I have it?"
"Yes."
I dangled the chocolate from my hand in front of her.
"Please give it to me!"
Even though Chocolat was hopping up and down, she was relatively short and couldn"t reach it. While holding it high, I measured the timing.
It"s good; the timing is just right. I"m sad to be wasting food, but...
"Here!"
As it pa.s.sed, I threw the chocolate into the back of a pickup.
"Ah, wait please, chocolate!"
Chocolat ran with light steps after the pickup.
I watched the gap between them increase until they went around the corner, disappearing from my sight without her giving up.
"Seriously..."
Even with a long wait, there was no sign of her returning. Even though I thought she was an idiot, I didn"t think she"d be tricked that perfectly.
Golden Week was starting, the time when the calendar just reaches the summer and the weather turns warm, while a spring-like atmosphere still strongly remains.
"Oh well... I"ll be careful about that strange person."
I faced towards the school and began to walk.
Part 2Our high school, Seikou Private School, is proud of its 15 first year cla.s.ses. It is a mammothly large school and has a wastefully large ground area.
To put it simply, it"s a moderately long distance from the front gate to the school doors.
Sniffing the erotic book, Daiko-san"s hug, and an encounter with the mysterious dog-like creature were all considerable burdens on my mental and physical stamina, and they left me feeling sick as I crossed the schoolyard.
After a few minutes I finally reached the entrance deep in the grounds. Fortunately, Cla.s.s 1 of the second year is at this end of the 2nd floor. I just had to go up the stairs and I would be at my cla.s.s.
"Morning."
I opened the door and exchanged greetings with the friends I could see.
On my way to my seat, I ran into a girl standing still by the window: Yukihira Furano.
She stood there very casually. However, she still gave off a strange sense of presence. Only around Yukihira did the air seem strained.
As if embodying the image of the name[16], her white hair in the sunlight streaming from the window gave off a bright light, like the reflection off newly fallen snow.
"Hey, morning, Yukihira."
In response to my voice, she turned around. Though there was an artificial feel to her features, they were very refined.
Without an expression Yukihira replied.
"Morning, maggot[17] jerk."
"...Huh?"
Surprisingly abusive language was used.
Normally you"d think you had misheard, but with Yukihira, anything"s possible.
It"s not a conversation if you flinch and back away, though.
"Ah, the weather is nice today."
"Yes it is, maggot jerk."
"On a day like today, I"d like to skip school and go play somewhere."
"You are surprisingly naughty, maggot jerk."
"What day of the week is it today?"
"Monday. Does that please you, maggot jerk?"
"Don"t you know I"m trying to change your topic?!"
In contrast to my raised voice, Yukihira"s is serene.
"Oh, sorry if it made you feel bad. It"s just a little bug joke."
"Bug... joke? What on earth is that?"
It"s the first time I"ve ever heard that in my life.
"This morning, on the fortune-telling segment on TV, it said there might be an insect related disaster. Even if I"m not that serious in believing it, I do still worry a bit."
"Yes, and?"
"Then, I thought I"d make some jokes and we could laugh it off."
"That"s too much of a reversal..."
"Hey, I don"t settle for succ.u.mbing to fate because I"m a woman with a rebellious spirit. I"ll fight it to the death if it"s not something I can accept."
"No... Don"t think it will be that big of an event."
"By the way, Amakusa, if you want I"ll do more insect jokes."
"No, you"ve done enough."
"By the way, Amakusa, if you want I"ll do more insect jokes."
It seems you want me to hear them. Even if I bluntly refuse, it will just prolong things.
"Then, tell me one."
"..."
"Yukihira?"
"..."
"h.e.l.lo, Yukihira-san?"
"Hey, listen, Monsieur. Today, a stupid cla.s.smate was ignored[18] for you."
It was endlessly trivial.
"By the way, just now I didn"t only use "insect" and "ignore", did you also see me play off the word Monsieur?[19]"
"...I don"t get it."
Explaining a gag that didn"t work... Such a strong personality.
"Then George, who was deprived of a turn for this; where should he put his anger?!"
"Who is that?!"
This Yukihira Furano... Though she should be a cool person, she jokes around in a way that raises the tension. She just can"t be a normal character.
"Roughly what are you thinking about, Amakusa? You have the face of someone about to go attack a little girl at any moment."
"What the h.e.l.l kind of face is thaaaat?!"
"Or, the the face of villager at the entrance of the village endlessly repeating 『The Starting Village』."
"No, there is nothing in common with those two pieces..."
"Or, the the face of villager at the entrance of the village who is endlessly repeating 『Huh... Huh... You want to look at little girls?』."
"Don"t force the two together!"
...It"s useless. You can only get exhausted dealing with someone like her. I abandoned the conversation and started to go around her...
[CHOOSE ① "Hey, your b.r.e.a.s.t.s[20], let me touch your b.r.e.a.s.t.s" ② "Hey, my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, touch my b.r.e.a.s.t.s."]
...Yeah, this is strange. This is strange, right?
People usually would resist such a choice at any price if compelled. At the start I also resisted... at the start. When Absolute Choice first appeared, I tried to avoid picking either choice... As a result, excruciating pain strikes your brain. I can"t do it anymore.
I"m not joking. At first the pain is only faint and dull, but over time it feels like my head is being slowly crushed by a steamroller. The skull begins to fracture and the fluid in my brain starts leaking; how else can I describe it? Even the woman with a scar on her face wouldn"t be able to deal with it.
In other words, resistance is useless, impossible, and a waste of effort.
A man takes a breath. Dogs can"t speak languages. And when an Absolute Choice appears, a choice is naturally chosen.
With that being said...
"Hey, my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, touch my b.r.e.a.s.t.s."
The moment I said those lines, Yukihira"s eyebrows moved slightly.
"...Amakusa... You, just now, what?!"
It"s no wonder you"d ask that. It"s a remark that anyone can hardly believe they heard right.
"No, that is-"
"Perhaps, you just asked me to touch your t.i.ts[21]?"
"...Huh? Just now, what?"
I instinctively asked back, just now... Did she say t.i.ts?"
"I would like to hear whether you said 『Please touch my t.i.ts』 or not."
"No... I said something similar, except I didn"t say t.i.ts."
"t.i.ts weren"t mentioned? It"s funny; I"m sure I heard the word t.i.ts. t.i.ts is a word that I"m absolutely sure I didn"t hear wrongly... Ah, is it shameful to have said t.i.ts and now you are trying to conceal it? Even though I don"t think t.i.ts is a vulgar word. Starting with t.i.ts is..."
"You only want me to say t.i.ts!"
"I admit it. But even you want to call out t.i.ts so badly sometimes."
"I agree."
"That"s not a reason!"
"I"m getting scolded suddenly?!"
...At times like those Yukihira, the weirdo, was good to have around. If this choice had appeared in front of other women, it would be a big problem.
Actually, last year"s cla.s.s was disastrous. In front of the girls many things were done and said that can"t be told... No, I won"t remember it because I"ll want to cry.
Anyway, this Absolute Choice seems pleased to make me have the worst experiences.
In terms of a galge, only the paths to bad endings were chosen last year. I wasn"t even able to taste the L of Love.
I don"t want to be popular, I just want to talk to women (without frightening them or being despised by them)...
Today, however, there are a lot more Absolute Choices, and the choices are nastier. I went to my seat quickly; it"s better to be quiet.
As I tried to pa.s.s quickly by Yukihira"s side...
[CHOOSE ①"Hey, your t.i.ts, let me touch your t.i.ts." ②"Hey, my t.i.ts, touch my t.i.ts."]
...I don"t need this. I tried to go with the flow, but this is absolutely unnecessary.
However, no matter how much I complain in my heart, I have no veto power.
"Hey, my t.i.ts, touch my t.i.ts."
Yukihira, who took that expressionlessly, opened her mouth.
"I"m sorry. I don"t want to talk to people who say such vulgar things."
"Which mouth is saying that?!"
"This mouth. This mouth always says t.i.ts."
"Is the word consistency not in your dictionary?!"
"In my dictionary, only the word t.i.ts appears."
"Then all your life you have been calling them t.i.ts!"
"Amakusa, you... Are you really taking a joke like that seriously?"
"Gaaaaah!"
I crumpled and tore at my hair. It"s useless... I can"t deal with her. I"ve been playing the fool with Yukihira... I shook it off, turned the other way, and headed to my seat.
Even though homeroom hadn"t started, I was already absurdly fatigued.
With a sigh, I sat down and casually glanced out the window.
"...Eh?"
In the middle of the second-story window, a face appeared.
"Waaah!"
I stood from my chair by reflex.
"Oh, Amacchi. Morning!"
The person on the other side of the gla.s.s gave a smile and flung open the window.
"Toe!"
The person dove feet-first through the window frame while giving off an action-hero-like cry.
While trailing elegant black hair that reached to her waist, she landed lightly.
"You... Where did you come from?"
The girl who received all the cla.s.ses" attention, Yuuouji Ouka[22], stuck her thumb up and declared:
"Ha, because the guidance counselors were at the entrance I climbed up the wall!"
If you consider it... It"s not a large climb, and you wouldn"t have too bad of a fall, but even if it happens to cross your mind you usually wouldn"t do it.
I stared at the girl intently. Long, glossy black hair. Full-bodied in the right places, but slender on the whole. The gentle features and appearance of a girl brought up by a fine family.
However, once she opens her mouth, she"s noisy like a grade-schooler, her face flickers through expressions rapidly, and she repeatedly does unpredictable things.
Climbing the wall of a school would usually be called an impossible act, but in Yuuouji"s case, it"s completed with a single thought.
"Hi, Amacchi. Your face is looking tired; something wrong?"
Without hesitation, she brought her face too close.
"Uuu..."
We"re already young men and women... I wish she was aware of that, but it"s impossible for her.
"No, there were various things this morning... Rather, what"s with the backpack?"
On Yuuouji"s back was a swollen-to-the-limit-rucksack.
"Where the heck did that come from..."
"Listen closely. Nahaha, because I wanted to smuggle this, I wasn"t able to come in through the front entrance."
I waited as Yuuouji happily lowered the rucksack to the floor.
She carried that up the wall... What kind of superhuman strength is that...?
"Look, look; these are our prototypes."
The contents were casually dumped on the floor.
Most of the items are stamped with the 『UOG』 logo.
Though it"s hard to believe, Yuuouji is the daughter of the president of UOG, a very big and well-known company.
Their business is food, clothing, cosmetics, consumer electronics, books, etc. They produce practically everything, and it"s hard to find a house that doesn"t have a UOG product in it. It"s a company closely tied into people"s lives.
"These were rejected in the planning stage of our product development section. For now they"re being set aside, but we still want the opinions of kids for future reference."
Yuuouji"s voice tempted our cla.s.smates to gather around her.
Even if they were products that were killed, they were on the leading edge in UOG fashion, and so being interested in them was natural.
"Ouka-chan, what is that?"
Everyone could take a product and submit his or her opinion. One girl pointed at a dangerously red-colored bottle.
"Oh, that... That"s for wives who are faced with ennui. It"s an aphrodisiac for women. It appears to activate women"s s.e.x hormones."
Who would ask high school students" opinions of thaaaaat?!
"The effect is outstanding and the price is cheap, but no questions were asked in the planning meeting,. It was just dropped."
"Hmm, why would that be?"
I casually grabbed a bottle and turned it around. The flashy, fancy brand name was visible: 『Abazuren[23] Z』.
"Yeah... The name is bad..."
"By the way, I secretly mixed some into my mom"s rice this morning. She began to pant suddenly and said 『Ouka... Do you want a little sister?』."
"What are you doing to the wife of the president of UOG?!"
Yuuouji"s mother was a former idol 20 years ago. The other idols of the time were all childishly cute, but she gave off an intellectual air and ran as a star for a while. She retired to marry the darling of the business world, Yuuouji Ouma, and changed her media appearance. I see her often delivering the news as a commentator.
In a word, she was cool. That said, to experiment on her parents, Yuuouji is shameless... It"s unbelievable that Yuuouji Ouka came from Yuuouji Kyouka.
The cancellation that puzzles Yuuouji doesn"t seem to be from the name 『Abazuren Z』 alone. If such a drug circulates in j.a.panese society, it"ll collapse.
I took control of myself and looked at the other projects.
Giving off a strong presence in the corner was what looked like a small printer. In the center of the machine was a bunch of rectangular paper.
"Yuuouji, what"s this?"
"Ah, its a toy for small children: 『Money Maker』. You play with it and make money."
Indeed, on the surface of the printed paper is a large animated cartoon character drawn in the center, 『Bill』.
I picked up a few and flipped through them.
"Ah, its not very elaborate... Eh? The real thing is mixed in?"
One piece in there was clearly real, no matter how you looked at it. Yukichi-sensei[24]"s face was peering intently from it.
"Nahaha, this is an amazingly good machine. When I tried an experiment it came out just like the genuine item."
"That would be a scandal!"
It"s completely out!
"Geez, this looks a little more of an honest thing... It looks like 『Life Candy』."
Life Candy is a long-running product of UOG"s confectionery brand, 『Yuuouji』. Each unit, called a 『Chapter』, has one package with three pieces, and several flavor variations and themes exist.
For example:
『Love Chapter: Unrequited Love, Confession, Falling in Love』
The first piece would have a sour taste to symbolize the sorrow, the second piece would have an extra-hot taste that expresses the throbbing heart, and the third would be sweet like a burning heart. The themes of the candy are all over the place, but good materials and a low price had made it another hot-selling product and have taken half the popularity of 『Animal Candy』 away.
"No, when this was also rejected I grieved."
Yuuouji picked some up and handed them out.
『Chapter of the Lady Killer: Unfortunately I Cheated on Two People, Unfortunately They Both Know, Unfortunately I Was Stabbed』
"You said the last part so cutely! I was forced to laugh!"
『Chapter of the Middle Level Manager: Pain from Dealing with Above and Below, Being Laid Off, Dying a Dog"s Death on the Roadside at 50』
"It"s too sad!"
『Chapter of the Postmortem: Taking a Bright Memory into the Next World, Futile Effort, A One-way Ticket to h.e.l.l』
"Who would buy that?!"
『Chapter of the NEET: Really?, My Old Age, What Will Happen?』
"You"ll make people cry!"
『Chapter of If You Win You Get Another: The flavor of wondering if I"ll win, The I missed? flavor, You are an idiot if this is seen』
"What are you doing to the idiot?!"
None of those have any relation to flavors.
"How many of these canceled major products?......hm?"
I looked, trying to find something decent in the products on the floor. Squatting in the corner Yukihira caught my eye.
What are you doing with 『Money maker』 in your hand and staring......What? Her eyes are scary.
"Yukihira, what is it?"
"Ah, Amakusa it is you. This toy, it could be dangerous if misused. Shouldn"t a person with good sense take responsibility for it?"
"Oh my......maybe so."
Or rather, it should be destroyed here, right now.
"Oh, me? No, it"s impossible. Oh, I"m the only one? I guess it can"t be helped, I guess I can since you ask."
"What is this act? n.o.body asked you!"
"Tch......"
"Tch" was said. Just now she tch"ed me.
Yukihira stood expressionlessly, and Yuuouji"s voice was raised.
"Ah, Furanocchi over here, hey! "
Yukihira returned the greeting casually.
"Morning, Maggot"s daughter."
That joke, you"re continuing it!
"Eh? Maggot? Ah, so, speaking of maggots."
Yuuouji groped and rustled through the bottom of the rucksack. Did she say 『Speaking of maggots』......that"s the first time I"ve heard that said.
"Yes, there"s this too. Gee, what a coincidence, Furanocchi try to eat this."
Yukihira was presented with an earth colored package. It was printed with 『Animal Candy Maggot Flavor』
What kind of miracle is that!
"Indeed, misfortune concerning maggots, it seems to be this......the developer should die."
If Yukihira eats it calmly, she will vomit it back up. Oh, I understand the feeling. What roughly do maggots taste like. Things of that type should already be canceled.
Yukihira undid the wrapping paper, then threw it in her mouth. For a while she rolled it on her tongue then declared with a serious look.
"Seriously, it gives the impression of a maggot."
"What kind of an impression!"
"The secret ingredient is one drop of Cicada pee, I think it adds to the flavor."
"Increase? You say something like that about sesame oil!"
While watching, I glanced at Yuuouji.
"I mean is it......even safe to eat?"
"It"s okay, it"s okay. The sweets have a 『Strawberry taste』 and a 『Melon taste』 without the strawberry or melon? Hey, Amacchi here is one too."
"S-so......?"
......I wonder what this is. It is not unpalatable, its not bad at all. It is a taste that can"t be expressed.
"This, what in the world is in this?"
Yuuouji looked at the label.
"Just a moment. Umm, the raw material......its maggot extract."
"Waaaaaa?"
By reflex I ended up spitting the candy out. Yuuouji saw it and immediately went into a guts pose again.
"Amacchi, it"s still good if you pick it up within 3 seconds!"
"That isn"t the problem!"
"No Amacchi, I was just joking a moment ago, a joke! It doesn"t contain any maggot juice."
Yukihira heard Yuuouji"s words and clapped her hands.
"Oh, that is a wonderful maggot joke."
"That"s enough!"
Arg......It"s hard to tell the truth from Yuuouji"s expression. I can"t confirm it with my own eyes.
"Show it a little."
I half s.n.a.t.c.hed it so that I could see the label side.
『The ingredients cannot be listed.』
Scary!
"Yu-yukihira, you aren"t worried about this??"
Yukihira put it in her mouth before me.
"Oh, Amakusa, you aren"t being very manly with this maggots issue."
"You sound like an old man!"
"Generally it is rude to spit out food people give you. I don"t think it is quite the lowest act?"
"That"s not very persuasive when you are holding a tissue to your mouth Yukihira-san."
"It"s morning sickness."
"That"s not even a decent lie!"
"Ahaha, both you, its okay, there are some cheeses in the world with maggots."
"You just said it is in!"
My voice that I was shouting with was going hoa.r.s.e. How many times have I raised my voice this morning?
"......To be expected when those three are together."
I heard those annoying words spoken by someone. Speaking of Yukihira and Yuuouji bundled together with me, it could only be that.
"s.h.i.t, it"s not right....... I"m not like that."
"Nahaha, Amacchisa, resign yourself and accept you are part of the 『Reject 5』.
My shoulder is familiarly slapped by Yuuouji while the hated phrase was uttered.
Twice each year here at Seikou, a vote is taken in the first and second half of the year. Put simply, its a beauty contest vote by all the boys, up to 3rd year, 45 cla.s.ses in total, which ranks the best 5 men and women.
Because there are so many entries the newspaper and broadcast department take it up and close to 100 percent of the school is aware of it.
In it"s brilliant shade an ominous ranking exists. Even though their appearance is excellent, their behavior and personalities make people judge it is impossible to fall in love with them, are 5 men and women.
The dishonorable name given to them is the 『Reject 5』.
Yukihira shows no sign that she minds. Yuuouji doesn"t seem to care about feelings like that.
However, I"m just a normal person and can"t do that.
"I"m different, I"m different......I"m just an ordinary high school student."
However, no matter how much I lamented it, the t.i.tle once given would not disappear for a half year or more.
By the way, the current rankings were totaled in March at the end of the school year. Because the then third year students were included, as of May in the new year there are nine 『Reject 5』 remaining.
Three people is one third of the list, and are concentrated in Second year cla.s.s 1. The additional fact that not one of the students from the popular ranking is in the cla.s.s it makes for a sad story for the cla.s.s.
I don"t want to think I have a third of the responsibility.
"Amacchimosa[25], you are cool when you are silent."
"No, you shouldn"t be the one saying that......"
So, the story I spoke frankly about, I think that objectively I look good. In middle school confessions and love letters were not unusual. It"s not too much to say I was popular.
However, March of last year just before I was entering high-school my life changed completely. The d.a.m.n absolute choices happened to me, and I was forced into eccentric behaviour......and as of May in the second year of high-school the low quality label 『Reject 5』 was pasted onto me.
However, my abnormality in the end is caused by the irregular absolute choices.
The loose screws in the heads of Yukihira and Yuuouji are different. Amakusa Kanade, as a human, is a fairly normal character. So, even absolute choice doesn"t
[CHOOSE: ① Strip to the waist and yell like a j.a.panese man ② Strip your lower half and yell like an Amazon warrior.]
Are you s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g with me heaven!?
Why come out with this now! Read the air! But, what prejudice is it that makes Amazon = naked lower half!
......Yes, it is ignored like usual. I"ll do it, I"ll do it. I thought you"d say that, I"ll do it well.
I choose number ① and put my hands on my uniform, and I started to take it off despite hesitations.
"Oh my G.o.d, look at that."
What was sad that the girls scream 『Amakusa is doing something weird again』 didn"t seem to come with a reaction like blushing, it had become such a typical atmosphere in the cla.s.sroom.
Only a month had pa.s.sed in the new cla.s.s and its already been recognized that I"m the guy you don"t help out even if I begin stripping......
I shook off the pain of that somehow and quietly(?) stripped to the waist. How about it choices, are you satisfied by this?"
"Gu......"
However, a headache hit signifying NO. Apparently it"s not sufficient without shouting like a j.a.panese man.
"Gahaha, this is a hero"s spirit!"
Already growing desperate I shouted that for the time being.
The pain faded away...... hey is it good like that?
"It"s done."
At that time, the door opens, and the teacher enters with the worst timing.
My standing there doing the guts pose shirtless perfect draws her eyes.
"You......what are you doing?"
The teacher of Second year Cla.s.s 1, Douraku Utage. With a body that can only make you think she is a grade school kid. But contrary to that is her speech and behavior which is crude and violent.
In the fairly loose atmosphere of Seikou, the yankee aura she gave out was noticeably different.
"No teacher, there"s a deep reason for this......"
"Hmm, tell me what it is."
"No......I was ordered to do it."
"By who?"
"......by someone else in my head."
Not this, not this, despite everything.
"Come with me for a moment."
Utage-sensei"s small palm, beckoned me.
"Sit."
"No, I want to put on my clothes first."
"Shut up."
"......yes."
As soon as my knees bent, I was grabbed by the base of the neck.
"Let"s go to the special guidance room."
"Ow, it hurts!"
Utage-sensei commanded the cla.s.s president to take roll call in her place and I was dragged towards the door.
Where does she store such power in that body!
There was nothing I could do as I was, naked to the waist, dragged down the hallway.
Part 3I was taken to the student guidance room.
Utage-sensei sat her small body in the chair, with her head laid back, and lazily asked.
"So, why are you naked to the waist?"
"You didn"t give me time to get dressed!"
"Rather, quickly cough it up. Afterall I don"t have free time."
Although she asked the question she completely ignored it and put her feet up on the table.
"No, no. I can guess. Or rather, I know you didn"t do it on purpose."
"Kuku, so what kind of choices did you have this time?"
......After all that"s true.
I"ve met only one person, Utage-sensei, who knows the existence of the absolute choices.
"I had to show either the upper half or the lower half......"
"......You, so you choose the top? Geez, your a humorless guy."
"Taking out my p.e.n.i.s wouldn"t be a humorous situation!"
"It"s no problem. At worst you would be forced to leave school."
"That would be a big mistake!"
"No skin off my nose, it would be someone else"s problem."
"I"m in front of you! I"m a student in your cla.s.s!"
Gu......I"m a student needing a good teacher but the only one around is this joker.
"Take it a bit seriously for a moment sensei?"
Utage-sensei dropped the joking manner and her expression became a bit clouded. A quiet reply is given.
"However, well...... still vulgar."
"Sensei......"
So, as a matter of fact, sensei previously had the absolute choices.
The absolute choice seems to be property that has moved through several people, from Utage-sensei, to the present holder, me.
Why did it move to me? Even if I ask that she evades with things like, its not time yet, or its troublesome to answer.
Utage-sensei lost her anxiety and went back to being lazy as always.
"Head back. I can"t not formally punish you for this. But I"ll do my best so hang in there."
Despite the dissatisfaction with the secretiveness, following last year it is good that the teacher for my homeroom understands, it has helped a lot.
If there was no arrangement with Utage-sensei then the repet.i.tions of eccentric behaviour would have led to suspension or worse......I"m tired of it even if I say so myself.
"Ah, there is something I"m curious about."
About the topic of choices, I suddenly recalled it. This morning the strange creature, Chocolat, fell from the sky.
I don"t know if there"s a direct relationship to absolute choice, but maybe Utage-sensei who was a previous holder of it knows something.
"This morning on the way to school a strange, beautiful girl fell from the sky."
Utage-sensei, with faraway eyes, clapped me on the shoulder.
"That"s too bad......you"ve lost the ability to distinguish 3D from 2D."
"No, no, its different."
Even though I think its a wild story myself, it is unavoidably a fact.
"Oh, during this time didn"t you happily say 『In the galgame, if you clear the heroine route 100 times, you can get her to come out of the screen and propose to the girl. Fuhihi』"
"I didn"t say that! Is your memory okay?!?"
"Ah, was it a 101 times?"
"That"s not the issue there!"
"Then, 『Fuhihi sorry』 was it?"
"That"s not the point! Don"t fake all those lines!"
I"ve thought this all this last year, is this person really a teacher? Anyway you slice it this isn"t the behaviour of a teacher.
"You, what"s with that stare......surely."
Utage-sensei took a step back unnaturally.
"It"s good being in a closed room, that"s your secret plan."
"No, no, what are you suddenly saying."
"Because you are naked to the waist in broad daylight."
"That"s because of you!"
"Stay away pedophile."
"Where"s the pedophile, think of your age!"
"I"m 12 years old. That"s fine for a pedophile."
"Don"t lie like a elementary student."
"It"s noisy with you yelping and shouting. Well, what is it, you......"
"......There"s no way your a teacher, you"ve forgotten my name?"
"Idiot, my cla.s.s, hmm. I can"t find it. Well, Ama......Ama......Ama........."
"I was in your cla.s.s last year too!"
"Haha, it"s bad it"s bad, even as a joke Amakasa[26]."
*pout*
"What," *smile*, "Is with this feeling!"
I was completely made fun of!
"I mean, I did say I didn"t have spare time. So hurry up and say it."
"No, no, this isn"t going anywhere and you are to blame no matter what......"
I returned to the story even while complaining.
"So, there"s the beautiful girl."
"Yes, yes, she fell from the sky, your daydream girl."
Ku......what an annoying way to talk.
"She fell as a result of an absolute choice."
"What was that?"
Her expression changed.
"......is that so?"
Her face went from smiling to listless and she murmured.
"Your face, do you have an idea?"
Utage-sensei didn"t deny it.
"Well. But this, I can"t just poke my nose in at a moment"s notice."
It was a very indecisive way of speaking. However, Utage-sensei"s eyes had a serious look.
"If I had to say something, it seems like the preparations for you to loose the absolute choice is complete."
"What? What does that mean."
The first period preliminary bell interrupted me.
"It"s time, return to the cla.s.sroom quickly."
"No sensei, I need more details."
"For now I can"t talk further about it."
"No, but......"
If its about absolute choice its a big deal since it controls my life.
"Ssh, if you are too noisy I"ll castrate your uvula."
"That expression is a bit funny......what are you emailing?"
"This? It"s to Yukihira"s cell, if you are not back in a minute she is allowed to burn your jacket."
"What a contemptible thing to do!"
No, if I think normally, just because she was told to there is no way to rule out the possibility that Yukihira would do it......no, there"s no way......no, she might do it.
"Um, and sent. If you tattle I"ll kill you."
"What the heck kind of person are you?"
"Is it okay? There"s 50 seconds left."
"Ku, s.h.i.t!"
I opened the door of the student guidance room and ran full throttle down the hallway......shirtless.
"Well......"
I don"t know the true character of the creature Chocolat and if she"s integral to my absolute choice. All morning Utage-sensei"s words stayed in my head, focusing on the lesson was impossible.
That state didn"t change even by lunchtime when I ate at my desk with several friends. I was absentminded during their conversation.
"What?"
Then, from the speaker above the blackboard came a voice that interrupted my thoughts.
Ah, its that time already?
This program is done every lunchtime by the Broadcast Club. The MC Corner changes each day and it is quite an elaborate broadcast.
Well, if my thinking is jumbled up, no answer will come out. I decided to listen to it for a change.
The light voice of the female MC speaks.
I look around the cla.s.sroom as that is said, there"s certainly no sign of them here.
Yuuouji is always hyper, and why Shinichi Mori style Yukihira? These two people broadcasting together.....no, I have a bad premonition.
The MC suddenly asked that rude question. Well that"s her natural invective and S touch. She bluntly goes to areas that aren"t normally touched upon and cuts deeply.
With a bang, the sounds of the MC panicking and standing were heard.
This isn"t a comedy show!
As expected by Yuuouji, even with all the students listening she is very free.
The conversation has failed, Yukihira began speaking in a very theatrical tone.
Why do I feel like she was awarded a prize?
The MC is at a loss for words. If it was me I"d give up on continuing. But she gave a small cough and continued as though nothing happened.
You are purposefully provoking them and showing your shallowness MC.
However Yuuouji seemed to be entirely oblivious to the situation.
That"s a different meaning! The one being rejected is you!
And, the same question was given to Yukihira.
Why the condescending att.i.tude looking down!
<......indeed are="" two="" unique.="" you="">
Do the two of them not shake you at all? There was irritation in the MC"s voice as she changed the topic.
My hand holding the chopsticks stops. It was completely a surprise attack.
I don"t want that to be said by you.
No, I did take it off......Yuuouji-san did you have to say it?
Isn"t that a flasher?!
It"s like saying I"m an addict or something.
Then close your mouth now!
Yuuouji......why did you add that statement to this flow.
The MC is on a roll. In the confusion of the moment I"ve been terribly slandered.
In this broadcast it"s said that the guest of the week will introduce an acquaintance. It"s a rip-off of a certain daytime program. It"s on a roll, usually you tell the person in question ahead of time.
"Hmm?"
While thinking that, my cell began vibrating. Why do they know my number......
Because I had no choice but to go with the flow I reluctantly pushed the call b.u.t.ton. The MC"s lively voice jumped out.
"Ah......that"s right."
It seems the other side is in loudspeaker mode, almost simultaneously with my remarks the speaker repeated it.
In other words all the students in the school can hear me as I talk.
"Yeah, well."
It"s safe. If I refuse gently there"s no problem.
Ku, what a blunt way of speaking. But it"s useless, I need to calm down. If I get upset it is what they expect.
I have to answer innocuously since they aren"t neutral-
[CHOOSE ① "Uhehe, I wanted to take off the bottoms in reality" ② "Gehehe, now, what color are your panties?]
......Say that in return?
However, I can"t do anything but say it. If a choice appears, there"s nothing I can do but say it.
"Uhehe, I wanted to take off the bottoms in reality."
I said it while almost crying. A complaint that differed by not a single word flowed from the speakers.
Here you go MC, I can"t expect anything but a counter. If I fend off the gag I might get away with a shallow wound.
<......now earnest="" here="" i="" in="" question="" shall="" the="" two="">
It is being ignored!
"Wait a minute!"
Though my voice is raised, the mobile is already cut off.
"......Amakusa, as I thought."
My consciousness is pulled back by the voice of a friend and I looked around the cla.s.s. The boys are laughing with wry smiles while the girls are pulling back completely.
Aside from the top, it seems the bottom half has exceeded the borderline where they can laugh unenthusiastically.
"No, it"s not like that......"
The moment I extended a hand out to explain myself. All the girls, together like in the army, looked away.
"Ahaha......there is no G.o.d in this world."
While giving out those dangerous words I put my face in my desk.
I must dream a dream to access the traffic accident right? Surely my body is in the hospital for quite some time. Yes, I must be there dreaming this unpleasant dream. But it seems like I"m really here. I wish I was in a parallel word or comic but my common sense says I"m here with women showing the whites of their eyes looking at me. Ufufu.
The show had been continuing from the speaker all along but I didn"t absorb any of it.
Before long it all became very vague as I sank into the sea named escapism.
"Haa!"
After a few minutes as I came back to the world at last, I could hear the voice of the MC which seemed satisfied.
"So, then because it approaches the end of lunch today......>
The voice gave the impression of wanting to finish early, a desire transmitted clearly. While I was in my trip I didn"t follow how the talk with Yuuouji and Yukihira was going. Even with her sharp tongue it was heavy going with those two as opponents.
Did you talk about such a worthless thing!
Following the regretful Yuuouji, Yukihira"s voice seemed dignified.
The MC seems wary.
The young woman is saying something strange.
<......ha i="" not="" sure="" understand.="">
The tone of Yukihira was without any feeling in it like always, but what was that? It"s almost like there"s different emotions in it. It"s angry?
While I was gone to the other world, there was such a development?
Indeed, Yukihira"s chest can"t be complimented as abundant. It bothered her.
No, you are a person easily provoked to laughter......
No, what is with that way of speaking, it sounds like there"s another meaning......and be prudent about saying t.i.ts.
What is that......incidentally, there are various opinions on the definition and origin of Moe Pig, it is for Otaku"s who agonize about beautiful girls in anime and manga.
No, no, that"s late night radio, you can"t do that type of stuff during the day on the school broadcast system.
The MC has almost the same impression as me. That"s a fairly normal reaction for a person.
The MC is suddenly treated like a sow.
There was a bang from someone standing up.
The MC was completely frightened. There was no trace of the poison tongued character remaining.
*sleepy breathing*
Seriously, you have the nerve to sleep soundly during a live broadcast. Moreover, you have only stopped talking about the boil on John"s a.s.s a minute ago.
The MC seems to have been restrained. Yuuouji"s physical strength is overwhelming, and a normal girl can"t compete against it at all.
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