"But the daisies and pinks all turned to weeds," she went on, waiting a little, "when we picked "em. An" the sunny place--has been always behind me, and the dark before me. Oh, if I was only there--in the sun--where the pinks and daisies are!"
"You mustn"t talk so, Mattie! Think about your children! You ain"t sorry y"had them? They"ve been a comfort to y"? You ain"t sorry you had "em?"
"I ain"t glad," was the unhesitating reply of the failing woman; and then she went on, in growing excitement: "They"ll haf to grow old jest as I have--git bent and gray, an" die. They ain"t be"n much comfort to me: the boys are like their father, and Julyie"s weak. They ain"t no happiness--for such as me and them."
She paused for breath, and Mrs. Ridings, not knowing what to say, did better than speak. She fell to stroking the poor face and the hands, getting more restless each moment. It was as if Matilda Fletcher had been silent so long, had borne so much without complaint, that now it burst from her in a torrent not to be stayed. All her most secret doubts and her sweetest hopes seemed trembling on her lips or surging in her brain, racking her poor, emaciated frame for utterence. Now that death was sure, she was determined to rid her bosom of its perilous stuff.
Martha was appalled.
"I used to think--that when I got married I"d be perfectly happy; but I never have been happy sence. It was the beginning of trouble to me. I never found things better than they looked; they was always worse. I"ve gone further an" further from the sunshiny meadow, an" the birds an"
flowers--and I"ll never git back to "em again, never!" She ended with a sob and a low wail.
Her face was horrifying with its intensity of pathetic regret. Her straining, wide-open eyes seemed to be seeing those sunny spots in the meadow.
"Mattie, sometimes when I"m asleep I think I am back there ag"in--and you girls are there--an" we"re pullin" off the leaves of the wild sunflower--"rich man, poor man, beggar man"--and I hear you all laugh when I pull off the last leaf; and then I come to myself--and I"m an old, dried-up woman, dyin"--unsatisfied!"
"I"ve felt that way a little myself, Matildy," confessed the watcher, in a scared whisper.
"I knew it, Mattie; I knew you"d know how I felt. Things have been better for you. You ain"t had to live in an old log house all your life, an" work yourself to skin an" bone for a man you don"t respect nor like."
"Matildy Bent, take that back! Take it back, for mercy sake! Don"t you dare die thinkin" that--don"t you dare!"
Bent, hearing her voice rising, came to the door, and the wife, recognizing his step, cried out:
"Don"t let him in! Don"t! I can"t bear him--keep him out; I don"t want to see him ag"in."
"Who do you mean? Not Joe?"
"Yes! Him!"
Had the dying woman confessed to murder, good Martha could not have been more shocked. She could not understand this terrible revulsion in feeling, for she herself had been absolutely loyal to her husband through all the trials which had come upon them.
But she met Bent at the threshold, and, closing the door, went out with him into the summer kitchen, where the rest of the family were sitting.
A gloomy silence fell on them all after the greetings were over. The men were smoking; all were seated in chairs tipped back against the wall.
Joe Bent, a smallish man, with a weak, good-natured face, asked, in a hoa.r.s.e whisper:
"How is she, Mis" Ridings?"
"She seems quite strong, Mr. Bent. I think you had all better go to bed; if I want you, I can call you. Doctor give me directions."
"All right," responded the relieved man. "I"ll sleep on the lounge in the other room. If you want me, just rap on the door."
When, after making other arrangements, Martha went back to the bedroom, she was startled to hear the sick woman muttering to herself, or perhaps because she had forgotten Martha"s absence.
"But the shadows on the meadow didn"t stay; they pa.s.sed on, and then the sun was all the brighter on the flowers. We used to string sweet-williams on spears of gra.s.s--don"t you remember?"
Martha gave her a drink of the opiate in the gla.s.s, adjusted her on the pillow, and threw open the window, even to the point of removing the screen, and the gibbous moon flooded the room with light. She did not light a lamp, for its flame would heat the room. Besides, the moonlight was sufficient. It fell on the face of the sick woman till she looked like a thing of marble--all but her dark eyes.
"Does the moon hurt you, Tilly? Shall I put down the curtain?"
The woman heard with difficulty, and when the question was repeated, said slowly:
"No, I like it." After a little: "Don"t you remember, Mattie, how beautiful the moonlight seemed? It seemed to promise happiness--and love--but it never come for us. It makes me dream of the past now--just as it did of the future then; an" the whip-poor-wills, too--"
The night was perfectly beautiful, such a night as makes dying an infinite sorrow. The summer was at its liberalest. Innumerable insects of the nocturnal sort were singing in unison with the frogs in the pools. A whip-poor-will called, and its neighbor answered like an echo.
The leaves of the trees, glossy from the late rain, moved musically to the light west wind, and the exquisite perfume of many flowers came in on the breeze.
When the failing woman sank into silence, Martha leaned her elbow on the window-sill, and, gazing far into the great deeps of s.p.a.ce, gave herself up to unwonted musings upon the problems of human life. She sighed deeply at times. She found herself at moments in the almost terrifying position of a human soul in s.p.a.ce. Not a wife, not a mother, but just a soul facing the questions which hara.s.s philosophers. As she realized her condition of mind she apprehended something of the thinking of the woman on the bed. Matilda had gone beyond--or far back--of the wife and mother.
The hours wore on; the dying woman stirred uneasily now and then, whispering a word or phrase which related to her girlhood--never to her later life. Once she said:
"Mother, hold me. I"m so tired."
Martha took the thin form in her arms, and, laying her head close beside the sunken cheek, sang, in half breath, a lullaby till the sufferer grew quiet again.
The l.u.s.trous moon pa.s.sed over the house, leaving the room dark, and still the patient watcher sat beside the bed, listening to the slow breathing of the dying one. The cool air grew almost chill; the east began to lighten, and with the coming light the tide of life sank in the dying body. The head, hitherto restlessly turning, ceased to move. The eyes grew quiet and began to soften like a sleeper"s.
"How are you now, dear?" asked the watcher several times, bending over the bed, and bathing back the straying hair.
"I"m tired--tired, mother--turn me," she murmured drowsily, with heavy lids drooping.
Martha patted the pillows once again, and turned her friend"s face to the wall. The poor, tortured, restless brain slowly stopped its grinding whirl, and the thin limbs, heavy with years of hopeless toil, straightened out in an endless sleep.
Matilda Fletcher had found rest.
A PREACHER"S LOVE STORY
I
The train drew out of the great Van Buren Street depot at 4.30 of a dark day in late October. A tall young man, with a timid look in his eyes, was almost the last pa.s.senger to get on, and his pale face wore a worried look as he dropped into an empty seat and peered out at the squalid city reeling past in the mist.
The buildings grew smaller, and vacant lots appeared stretching away in flat s.p.a.ces, broken here and there by ridges of ugly, squat, little tenement blocks. Over this landscape vast banners of smoke streamed, magnified by the misty rain which was driven in from the lake.
At last there came a swell of land clothed on with trees. It was still light enough for him to see that they were burr oaks, and the young student"s heart thrilled at sight of them. His forehead smoothed out, and his eyes grew tender with boyish memories.
He was seated thus, with head leaning against the pane, when another young man came down the aisle from the smoking-car and took a seat beside him with a pleasant word.
He was a handsome young fellow of twenty three or four. His face was large and beardless, and he had a bold and keen look, in spite of the bang of yellow hair which hung over his forehead. Some commonplaces pa.s.sed between them, and then silence fell on each. The conductor coming through the car, the smooth-faced young fellow put up a card to be punched, and the student handed up a ticket, simply saying, "Kesota."
After a decent pause the younger man said, "Going to Kesota, are you?"
"Yes."
"So am I. I live there, in fact."