The look in his eyes was much hotter than his father’s anger, but much cooler than his mother’s serenity. Like boiling water to a frazon glacier. It was similar to the way a light took place in someone"s life, but just like the light, there was darkness in his eyes, one that was just as important, but could not be escaped from. Just like running away from death, and like how the sun will always set, the sky will turn into night for a period of time. I was nauseated by imagining what it would be like to have Nyctophobia (the fear of the night and darkness), just thinking about it made me stressed as the fear would come time and time again as it happened every day to night.
Having no choice but to endure the darkness for hours until the light showed itself was just too much. Even the darkness from closing your eyes would make you uneasy, and if it were me, I would watch the sun"s light until I lost consciousness. However, I would eventually get used to it, even if the my fears were so dreadful. But with Sashia, if he kept his room lit all day and night, then he would be able to sleep without his fears approaching him every time.
"But Marisan, you were the first to notice," Sashia whispered.
Yet, for every day that we went home, for every night that we slipped out every year to partic.i.p.ate in this test of courage, no one noticed: I did not notice.
"Did your friends notice…?" I asked.
"I desperately hid it from them, the time to apologize never came up either… so I just never told them…I"m such a coward" Sashia explained.
d.a.m.n it! Sashias"s friends did this! Just because they were jealous of him and confused why he wouldn"t tell them about this? And he probably wouldn"t care, he would just apologize to them because he felt guilty.
Besides this nonsense, Sashia"s heart was truly too kind.
"Besides… the grandson of a flame wizard afraid of the dark? What a joke…"
(Tn: SASHIA I WANNA HUG YOU)
A man who starts a fire to push away the darkness can not run away from the darkness, I thought. Everyone thinks that Sashia will come forth from greatness, that their expectations will all hold true as he is his grandfather"s grandson, not shivering away from the darkness. Anyone would crack under that pressure, his heart would expose its weaknesses.
"Even though I hope to live up to their expectations, I can"t say that I can, even if I want to do it to support you," he continued.
The look on Sashia"s face was full of bitterness, as if he were being condemned for having fear. It made me feel the amount of tenderness that came from Sashia"s heart; which was amazing, but also pitiful and made me feel sorry for him. The expectations put on him by society because of his lineage would expect him to follow his grandfather"s path. And actually, Sashia too was a fire attribute. And even if Sashia didn"t come from our school, you could still see the expectations put upon Sashia because of his grandfather.
"To not notice, even from the very beginning…" I started.
Even when I had heard about the test of courage, I had the courage to hide. I hid my fear of the map being wrong, and even of the beasts that I thought we had seen until then.
"Sorry for ruining your expectations like this…" Sashia spoke quietly.
This desperate concealed secret of Sashia"s…
The expectations upon him to become a genius would not stop until he himself fell from the very top to the ground. And once he hit the ground, society would smile and point at him while laughing at his muddy appearance, as if everything before it were all a lie. Just like in the past, when Maria Bell fell in love with him and became disappointed by his fears.
But of course, only a few of those people exist. Rather, barely any exist at all, and even if there were true prodigies in existence, they would just get back up and keep going — nothing would stop them, even society. Because the n.o.ble will never be damaged no matter how hard they hit the ground.
However, Sashia"s case is different: with the environment we grew up in, society pushed him to become a genius and he could not fail them now.
Then, I spoke.
"It"s absolutely stupid isn"t it?"
Started, Sashia looked up at me.
I had spoken words that he never could have imagined hearing before, ones that he wished to hear the most. The scars in my heart are definitely not healed yet, but if I didn"t say something now, what difference would I make as the new Maria Bell from the old one before?
Still, I thought.
"If that"s the case, then it sounds like you believe in those expectations too, Sashia."
TN CORNER:
BOI YA GOT ROASTED.
Any who, I’m so glad that I fixed the last chapter and got this out today! Tell me your thoughts below and I just might update tomorrow! Your comments fuel my translator l.u.s.t >w<>
jyane!