The Major obeyed forthwith.
CHAPTER IV
CONCERNING THE b.u.t.tONS OF THE RAMILLIE COAT
"Now pray remark, sir," said the Lady Elizabeth Carlyon, seating herself in a shady arbour and taking up her needle and thread, "a woman, instead of sucking her thread and rubbing it into a black spike and cursing, threads her needle--so! Thereafter she takes the object to be sewed and holds it--no, she can"t, sir, while you sit so much afar, prithee come closer to her--there! Yet no--"twill never do--she"ll be apt to p.r.i.c.k you sitting thus----"
"If I took off my coat, madam----"
""Twould be monstrous indecorous, sir! No, you must kneel down--here at my feet!"
"But--madam----"
"To your knees, sir, or I"ll p.r.i.c.k you vilely! She now takes the article to be sewed and--pray why keep at such a distance? She cannot sew gracefully while you pull one way and she another! She then fits on her thimble, poises needle and--sews!" The which my lady forthwith proceeded to do making wondrous pretty play with white hand and delicate wrist the while.
And when she had sewn in silence for perhaps one half-minute she fell to converse thus:
"Indeed you look vastly appealing on your knees, sir. Pray have you knelt to many lovely ladies?"
"Never in my life!" he answered fervently.
"And yet you kneel with infinite grace--"tis quite affecting, how doth it feel to crouch thus humbly before the s.e.x?"
"Uncommon hard to the knees, madam."
"Indeed I fear you have no soul, sir."
"Ha!" exclaimed the Major, rising hastily, "someone comes, I think!"
Sure enough, in due time, a somewhat languid but herculean footman appeared, who perceiving the Major, faltered, stared, pulled himself together and, approaching at speed, bowed in swift and supple humility and spoke:
"Four gentlemen to see your ladyship!"
"Only four? Their names?"
The large menial expanded large chest and spake with unction:
"The Marquis of Alton, Sir Jasper Denholm, Sir Benjamin Tripp and Mr.
Marchdale."
"Well say I"m out--say I"m engaged--say I wish to be private!"
The large footman blinked, and the Major strove to appear unconscious that my lady held him tethered by needle and thread.
"Very good, madam! Though, "umbly craving your ladyship"s pardon, my lady, your aunt wished me to tell you most express----"
"Well, tell her I won"t!"
"My lady, I will--immediate!" So saying, the large footman bowed again, blinked again and bore himself off, blinking as he went.
"And now, Major d"Arcy, if you will condescend to abase yourself we will continue our sewing lesson."
"But mam----"
"Do--not----"
"Your ladyship"s guests----"
"Pooh! to my ladyship"s guests! Come, be kneeling, sir, and take heed you don"t break my thread."
"Now I wonder," said the Major, "I wonder what your lackey thinks----"
"He don"t, he can"t, he never does--except about food or drink or tobacco--faugh!"
Up started the Major again as from the adjacent yew-walk a faint screaming arose.
"Good G.o.d!" exclaimed the Major. ""Tis a woman!"
"Nay sir, "tis merely my aunt!"
"But madam--hark to her, she is in distress!"
"Nay sir, she doth but wail--"tis no matter!"
""Tis desperate sound she makes, madam."
"But extreme ladylike, sir, Aunt Belinda is ever preposterously feminine and ladylike, sir. Her present woe arises perchance because she hath encountered a grub on her way hither or been routed by a beetle--the which last I do fervently hope."
This hope, however, was doomed to disappointment for very suddenly a lady appeared, a somewhat faded lady who, with dainty petticoats uplifted, tripped hastily towards them uttering small, wailing screams as she came.
"O Betty!" she cried. "Betty! O Elizabeth, child--a rat! O dear heart o" me, a great rat, child! That sat in the path, Betty, and looked at me, child--with a huge, great tail! O sweet heaven!"
"Looked at you with his tail, aunt?"
"Nay, child--faith, my poor senses do so twitter I scarce know what I say--but its wicked wild eyes! And it curled its horrid tail in monstrous threatening fashion! And O, thank heaven--a man!"
Here the agitated lady tottered towards the Major and, supported by his arm, sank down upon the bench and closing her eyes, gasped feebly.
"Madam!" he exclaimed, bending over her in great alarm.
"O lud!" she murmured faintly.
"By heaven, she"s swooning!" exclaimed the Major.
"Nay, sir," sighed Lady Betty, ""tis no swoon nor even a faint, "tis merely a twitter. Dear aunt will be herself again directly--so come let me sew on that b.u.t.ton or I"ll p.r.i.c.k you, I vow I will!"