"I s"pose he thinks old Death, with his grim visage, ain"t going to call for him just now. That"s ollers the way with northerners, who lives atween the hope of something above, and the love of makin"
money below: they never feel bad about the conscience, until old Davy Jones, Esq., the gentleman with the horns and tail, takes them by the nose, and says-"come!""
"I have struck an idea," says our worthy host, suddenly striking his hand on the counter. "I will put up a poster. I will offer a big reward. T"other property"s all safe; there"s only the preacher missing."
"Just the strike! Give us yer hand, squire!" The gentleman reaches his hand across the counter, and smiles, while cordially embracing mine host. "Make the reward about two hundred, so I can make a good week"s work for the dogs and me. Got the best pack in the parish; one on "em knows as much as most clergymen, he does!" he very deliberately concludes, displaying a wonderful opinion of his own n.i.g.g.e.r-catching philosophy.
And Mr. Jones, such is mine host"s name, immediately commenced exercising his skill in composition on a large, poster, which with a good hour"s labour he completes, and posts upon the ceiling of the "bar-room," just below an enormously ill.u.s.trated Circus bill.
"There! now"s a chance of some enterprise and some sense. There"s a deuced nice sum to be made at that!" says Mr. Jones, emphatically, as he stands a few steps back, and reads aloud the following sublime outline of his genius:--
"GREAT INDUCEMENT FOR SPORTSMEN. Two Hundred Dollars Reward.
"The above reward will be given anybody for the apprehension of the n.i.g.g.e.r-boy, Harry, the property of Mr. M"Fadden. Said Harry suddenly disappeared from these premises last night, while his master was supposed to be dying. The boy"s a well-developed n.i.g.g.e.r, "ant sa.s.sy, got fine bold head and round face, and intelligent eye, and "s about five feet eleven inches high, and equally proportionate elsewhere. He"s much giv"n to preachin", and most likely is secreted in some of the surrounding swamps, where he will remain until tempted to make his appearance on some plantation for the purpose of exortin his feller n.i.g.g.e.rs. He is well disposed, and is said to have a good disposition, so that no person need fear to approach him for capture. The above reward will be paid upon his delivery at any gaol in the State, and a hundred and fifty dollars if delivered at any gaol out of the State.
"JETHRO JONES."
"Just the instrument to bring him, Jethro!" intimates our fashionable gent, quizzically, as he stands a few feet behind Mr.
Jones, making grimaces. Then, gazing intently at the bill for some minutes, he runs his hands deep into his pockets, affects an air of greatest satisfaction, and commences whistling a tune to aid in suppressing a smile that is invading his countenance. "Wouldn"t be in that n.i.g.g.e.r"s skin for a thousand or more dollars, I wouldn"t!"
he continues, screeching in the loudest manner, and then shaking, kicking, and rousing the half-animate occupants of the floor and benches. "Come! get up here! Prize money ahead! Fine fun for a week.
Prize money ahead! wake up, ye jolly sleepers, loyal citizens, independent voters-wake up, I say. Here"s fun and frolic, plenty of whiskey, and two hundred dollars reward for every mother"s son of ye what wants to hunt a n.i.g.g.e.r; and he"s a preachin n.i.g.g.e.r at that!
Come; whose in for the frolic, ye hard-faced democracy that love to vote for your country"s good and a good cause?" After exerting himself for some time, they begin to scramble up like so many bewildered spectres of blackness, troubled to get light through the means of their blurred faculties.
"Who"s dragging the life out o" me?" exclaims one, straining his mottled eyes, extending his wearied limbs, gasping as if for breath; then staggering to the counter. Finally, after much struggling, staggering, expressing consternation, obscene jeering, blasphemous oaths and filthy slang, they stand upright, and huddle around the notice. The picture presented by their ragged garments, their woebegone faces, and their drenched faculties, would, indeed, be difficult to transfer to canvas.
"Now, stare! stare! with all yer fire-stained eyes, ye clan of motley vagrants-ye sovereign citizens of a sovereign state. Two hundred dollars! aye, two hundred dollars for ye. Make plenty o"
work for yer dogs; knowin brutes they are. And ye"ll get whiskey enough to last the whole district more nor a year," says our worthy Jones, standing before them, and pointing his finger at the notice.
They, as if doubting their own perceptibilities, draw nearer and nearer, straining their eyes, while their bodies oscillate against each other.
Mine host tells them to consider the matter, and be prepared for action, while he will proceed to M"Fadden"s chamber and learn the state of his health.
He opens the sick man"s chamber, and there, to his surprise, is the invalid gentleman, deliberately taking his tea and toast. Mine host congratulates him upon his appearance, extends his hand, takes a seat by his bed-side. "I had fearful apprehensions about you, my friend," he says.
"So had I about myself. I thought I was going to slip it in right earnest. My thoughts and feelins-how they wandered!" M"Fadden raises his hand to his forehead, and slowly shakes his head. "I would"nt a"
given much for the chances, at one time; but the wound isn"t so bad, after all. My n.i.g.g.e.r property gets along all straight, I suppose?"
he enquires, coolly, rolling his eyes upwards with a look of serious reflection. "Boy preacher never returned last night. It"s all right, though, I suppose?" again he enquired, looking mine host right in the eye, as if he discovered some misgiving. His seriousness soon begins to give place to anxiety.
"That boy was a bad n.i.g.g.e.r," says mine host, in a half-whisper; "but you must not let your property worry you, my friend."
"Bad n.i.g.g.e.r!" interrupts the invalid. Mine host pauses for a moment, while M"Fadden sets his eyes upon him with a piercing stare.
"Not been cutting up n.i.g.g.e.r tricks?" he e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.es, enquiringly, about to spring from his couch with his usual nimbleness. Mine host places his left hand upon his shoulder, and a.s.sures him there is no cause of alarm.
"Tell me if any thing"s wrong about my property. Now do,--be candid:"
his eyes roll, anxiously.
"All right-except the preacher; he"s run away," mine host answers, suggesting how much better it will be to take the matter cool, as he is sure to be captured.
"What! who-how? you don"t say! My very choicest piece of property.
Well-well! who will believe in religion, after that? He came to my sick chamber, the black vagabond did, and prayed as piously as a white man. And it went right to my heart; and I felt that if I died it would a" been the means o" savin my soul from all sorts of things infernal," says the recovering M"Fadden. He, the black preacher, is only a n.i.g.g.e.r after all; and his owner will have him back, or he"ll have his black hide-that he will! The sick man makes another effort to rise, but is calmed into resignation through mine host"s further a.s.surance that the property will be "all right" by the time he gets well.
"How cunning it was in the black vagrant! I shouldn"t be a bit surprised if he cleared straight for Ma.s.sachusetts-Ma.s.sachusetts hates our State. Her abolitionists will ruin us yet, sure as the world. We men of the South must do something on a grand scale to protect our rights and our property. The merchants of the North will help us; they are all interested in slave labour. Cotton is king; and cotton can rule, if it will. Cotton can make friendship strong, and political power great.
"There"s my cousin John, ye see; he lives north, but is married to a woman south. He got her with seventeen mules and twenty-three n.i.g.g.e.rs. And there"s brother Jake"s daughter was married to a planter out south what owns lots o" n.i.g.g.e.rs. And there"s good old uncle Richard; he traded a long time with down south folks, made heaps a money tradin n.i.g.g.e.rs in a sly way, and never heard a word said about slavery not being right, that he did"nt get into a deuce of a fuss, and feel like fightin? Two of Simon Wattler"s gals were married down south, and all the family connections became down-south in principle. And here"s Judge Brooks out here, the very best down-south Judge on the bench; he come from cousin Ephraim"s neighbourhood, down east. It"s just this way things is snarled up a"tween us and them ar" fellers down New England way. It keeps up the strength of our peculiar inst.i.tution, though. And southern Editors! just look at them; why, Lord love yer soul! two thirds on"
em are imported from down-north way; and they make the very best southern-principled men. I thought of that last night, when Mr.
Jones with the horns looked as if he would go with him. But, I"ll have that preachin vagrant, I"ll have him!" says Mr. M"Fadden, emphatically, seeming much more at rest about his departing affairs.
As the shadows of death fade from his sight into their proper distance, worldly figures and property justice resume their wonted possession of his thoughts.
Again, as if suddenly seized with pain, he contorts his face, and enquires in a half-whisper--"What if this wound should mortify?
would death follow quickly? I"m dubious yet!"
Mine host approaches nearer his bed-side, takes his hand. M"Fadden, with much apparent meekness, would know what he thought of his case?
He is a.s.sured by the kind gentleman that he is entirely out of danger-worth a whole parish of dead men. At the same time, mine host insinuates that he will never do to fight duels until he learns to die fashionably.
M"Fadden smiles,--remembers how many men have been nearly killed and yet escaped the undertaker,--seems to have regained strength, and calls for a gla.s.s of whiskey and water. Not too strong! but, reminding mine host of the excellent quality of his bitters, he suggests that a little may better his case.
"I didn"t mean the wound," resuming his anxiety for the lost preacher: "I meant the case of the runaway?"
"Oh! oh! bless me! he will forget he is a runaway piece of property in his anxiousness to put forth his spiritual inclinations. That"s what"ll betray the scamp;--n.i.g.g.e.r will be n.i.g.g.e.r, you know! They can"t play the lawyer, nohow," mine host replies, with an a.s.surance of his ability to judge negro character. This is a new idea, coming like the dew-drops of heaven to relieve his anxiety. The consoling intelligence makes him feel more comfortable.
The whiskey-and-bitters-most unpoetic drink-is brought to his bed-side. He tremblingly carries it to his lips, sips and sips; then, with one gulp, empties the gla.s.s. At this moment the pedantic physician makes his appearance, scents the whiskey, gives a favourable opinion of its application as a remedy in certain cases.
The prescription is not a bad one. Climate, and such a rusty const.i.tution as Mr. M"Fadden is blest with, renders a little stimulant very necessary to keep up the one thing needful-courage!
The patient complains bitterly to the man of pills and powders; tells a great many things about pains and fears. What a dreadful thing if the consequence had proved fatal! He further thinks that it was by the merest act of Providence, in such a desperate affray, he had not been killed outright. A great many bad visions have haunted him in his dreams, and he is very desirous of knowing what the man of salts and senna thinks about the true interpretation of such.
About the time he was dreaming such dreams he was extremely anxious to know how the spiritual character of slave-holders stood on the records of heaven, and whether the fact of slave-owning would cause the insertion of an item in the mortal warrant forming the exception to a peaceful conclusion with the Father"s forgiveness. He felt as if he would surely die during the night past, and his mind became so abstracted about what he had done in his life,--what was to come, how negro property had been treated, how it should be treated,--that, although he had opinions now and then widely-different, it had left a problem which would take him all his life-time to solve,--if he should live ever so long. And, too, there were these poor wretches accidentally shot down at his side; his feelings couldn"t withstand the ghostly appearance of their corpses as he was carried past them, perhaps to be buried n the same forlorn grave, the very next day.
All these things reflected their results through the morbidity of Mr. M"Fadden"s mind; but his last observation, showing how slender is the cord between life and death, proved what was uppermost in his mind. "You"ll allow I"m an honest man? I have great faith in your opinion, Doctor! And if I have been rather go-ahead with my n.i.g.g.e.rs, my virtue in business matters can"t be sprung," he mutters. The physician endeavours to calm his anxiety, by telling him he is a perfect model of goodness,--a just, honest, fearless, and enterprising planter; and that these attributes of our better nature const.i.tute such a balance in the scale as will give any gentleman slaveholder very large claims to that spiritual proficiency necessary for the world to come.
Mr. M"Fadden acquiesces in the correctness of this remark, but desires to inform the pract.i.tioner what a sad loss he has met with.
He is sure the gentleman will scarcely believe his word when he tells him what it is. "I saw how ye felt downright affected when that n.i.g.g.e.r o" mine prayed with so much that seemed like honesty and christianity, last night," he says.
"Yes," interrupts the man of medicine, "he was a wonderful n.i.g.g.e.r that. I never heard such natural eloquence nor such pathos; he is a wonder among n.i.g.g.e.rs, he is! Extraordinary fellow for one raised up on a plantation. Pity, almost, that such a clergyman should be a slave."
"You don"t say so, Doctor, do you? Well! I"ve lost him just when I wanted him most."
"He is not dead?" enquires the physician, suddenly interrupting. He had seen Mr. M"Fadden"s courage fail at the approach of death, and again recover quickly when the distance widened between that monitor and himself, and could not suppress the smile stealing over his countenance.
"Dead! no indeed. Worse-he has run away!" Mr. M"Fadden quickly retorted, clenching his right hand, and scowling. In another minute he turns back the sheets, and, with returned strength, makes a successful attempt to sit up in bed. "I don"t know whether I"m better or worse; but I think it would be all right if I warn"t worried so much about the loss of that preacher. I paid a tremendous sum for him. And the worst of it is, my cousin deacon Stoner, of a down-east church, holds a mortgage on my n.i.g.g.e.r stock, and he may feel streaked when he hears of the loss;" Mr. M"Fadden concludes, holding his side to the physician, who commences examining the wound, which the enfeebled man says is very sore and must be dressed cautiously, so that he may be enabled to get out and see to his property.
To the great surprise of all, the wound turns out to be merely a slight cut, with no appearance of inflammation, and every prospect of being cured through a further application of a very small bit of dressing plaster.
The physician smiled, mine host smiled; it was impossible to suppress the risible faculties. The poor invalid is overpowered with disappointment. His imagination had betrayed him into one of those desperate, fearful, and indubitable brinks of death, upon which it seems the first law of nature reminds us what is necessary to die by. They laughed, and laughed, and laughed, till Mr. M"Fadden suddenly changed countenance, and said it was no laughing affair,--such things were not to be trifled with; men should be thinking of more important matters. And he looked at the wound, run his fingers over it gently, and rubbed it as if doubting the depth.
"A little more whiskey would"nt hurt me, Doctor?" he enquires, complacently, looking round the room distrustfully at those who were enjoying the joke, more at his expense than he held to be in accordance with strict rules of etiquette.
"I"ll admit, my worthy citizen, your case seemed to baffle my skill, last night," the physician replies, jocosely. "Had I taken your political enthusiasm into consideration,--and your readiness to instruct an a.s.semblage in the holy democracy of our south,--and your hopes of making strong draughts do strong political work, I might have saved my opiate, and administered to your case more in accordance with the skilfully administered prescriptions of our politicians. Notwithstanding, I am glad you are all right, and trust that whenever you get your enthusiasm fired with bad brandy, or the candidates" bad whiskey, you will not tax other people"s feelings with your own dying affairs; nor send for a "n.i.g.g.e.r" preacher to redeem your soul, who will run away when he thinks the job completed."
Mr. M"Fadden seemed not to comprehend the nature of his physician"s language, and after a few minutes pause he must needs enquire about the weather? if a coroner"s inquest has been held over the dead men?
what was its decision? was there any decision at all? and have they been buried? Satisfied on all these points, he gets up, himself again, complaining only of a little muddled giddiness about the head, and a hip so sore that he scarcely could reconcile his mind to place confidence in it.