I rose to my feet to get a better view.
Dexter kept swinging, hitting him over and over across the cheek in the same spot. Then the man tapped out, and Dexter popped to his feet, big smile still spread across his face. I dont think it had ever left.
The arena was on its feet, cheering and horns blaring.
Leona was screaming next to me, all her words running together. "Thats-my-mother-f.u.c.king-man-cant-n.o.body-mess-with-him-h.e.l.l-yeah-baby." She shoved the boy to her left. "See. What did I tell you?" She let out some noise that sounded like a roar. "My man." Her fists were flying. "My man." Then she was on me, shaking me, hugging me, tackling me. "Ahh. He did it. I knew he could. But man, he did it."
I couldnt help but laugh, and it felt good. "He did." I let her continue to rock me for a moment, and then her arms fell away.
"Well, our boy did it." A man stepped beside me, his hand on Leonas shoulder.
She smiled at him, but reigned in her overflow of excitement. "I knew he would. So whats next?"
"If he keeps putting on a show like that, h.e.l.l make a name for himself quick." Then the man turned towards me, and I recognized something familiar in him. "So what did you think? I know youre a boxer too, but if you ever want to make a switch-"
"She wont be doing that." Gage was at my side, surprising me.
"And what about you then?" The man wasnt as un-phased as his words tried to be. His eyes shifted as Gage stepped closer. "Your brothers fight make you reconsider? He had fun out there. You could too. You really get a chance to show what you can do in the cage, not like the ring."
"Ive already told you, Im not switching. So quit f.u.c.king asking. Thats your last warning."
The round man put his hands up and I realized who he was, Phil Magnally, Dexters manager, and the guy who approached Gage in the club originally, before his goons threw out those accusations about Gages business.
"Whoa, I was just checking." He tried to laugh it off. "Lets keep this night about Dexter."
Leona looked around, avoiding Gage who wasnt laughing anything off. "Yeah, lets focus on him. Speaking of which, can I go see him now, Phil? Where is he?"
"Sure thing, pretty lady." He licked his lips in a nervous way and broke his gaze away from Gage, smiling at Leona. "Right this way."
"Well go with you." Gage nudged my back to get me to follow them out of the arena.
Leona told the others in the row shed be back.
We walked down a gold and red hallway into a dressing room. Dexter pulled Leona into a bare chested hug first thing, and she clung to him, lips searching for his and speaking Spanish words in a sultry voice like they were alone.
I looked away, feeling like an intruder on their moment. I tried to look towards Gage, but he was already moving to the refrigerator, his back to me.
He cracked open a beer bottle and brought it to his lips.
"Ill take one," Dexter said, breaking away from Leona.
Gage opened another one and handed it over to Dexter. "You deserve it," he spoke soft.
"I do, dont I? That was awesome tonight." He swept his eyes to me with a teasing grin. "I was f.u.c.king awesome, wasnt I Rea?"
"I think your song said, youre amazing," I teased back, but I couldnt deny his fight had pumped me up, and I itched to get back into it. I was jealous of the high I knew he felt.
"You did all right." Gage tilted his beer back, not letting it show if he was teasing.
"Thanks." Dexter threw a rag at him and downed his beer in two long pulls before tossing it in the trash bin. "So you all ready to party? Weve got to do it up big tonight."
"The cars are already waiting for you. Three, right? Since youve got so many d.a.m.n friends? But I wont be able to stay out that long. "
I looked to Gage, unable to keep the questions from my face.
"Oh," Gage met my gaze right back, his lip curling in the way that made me brace myself against his att.i.tude. "I wanted to tell you, but..." He shrugged and his direct look made it clear he was intentionally mimicking my words from last night. "Somethings come up, and Ive got to take an early flight in the morning."
My heart burst, and I couldnt keep in my reaction. I hated making a scene, and I didnt like others knowing we were fighting, but he wasnt covering his anger towards me, and I couldnt control my body. He was leaving in the morning? I couldnt breathe and the rooms temperature dropped, making me shake.
"Gage, what the h.e.l.l? You said this time you were going to stay. Come on man, what could be more important than me?" Dexter pressed his hand to his chest with an easy smile like he was teasing, but I saw in his eyes that he could read the tension between us.
Gage broke the staring contest we had going to look at his brother. "Dont worry about it. Ill still cover tonight. Youre taken care of."
Leona pushed past Dexter first, spouting off what had to be insults in Spanish, but Dexter pulled her little body back.
"f.u.c.k you man, dont worry about it. Ill cover it all myself."
"Fine." Gage walked out the door, not even looking back to see what I would do.
"You can come out with us," Dexter spoke up.
"Yeah," Leona pulled out of Dexters grasp. "Let him go be salty all on his own."
"I-" My feet were already moving after him, without my permission. "I have to go see whats going on. Im sorry." I paused at the door, holding the tears back. "Congratulations tonight, I really am sorry."
"Dont apologize for him," Dexter said, stepping up to give me one of his hugs. "But call me later, let me know everythings okay."
I nodded and pulled away to walk out after Gage.
26: Regret This.
GAGE STOPPED MID STRIDE AS I EXITED the room. His gaze connected with mine and both of us froze. He had been walking towards the door, not away from it, and that stunned me.
"What were you about to do?" I questioned. There was a good amount of hallway between us, giving me the confidence to step towards him and away from the closed door.
The lines of his jaw clenched, and his eyes burned into me. Then he nodded to the room behind me. "I was going to get you."
His words washed away a heavy weight. He wasnt just going to leave me. That knowledge made me light headed with relief. He saw that, and I hated it.
"Come on." He turned, walking away again.
"No." I rebounded from the weightlessness with a surge of anger and planted my feet where I stood.
"What?" He turned back around, voice like smoke, and fire filling his gaze. His anger sizzled in him, barely contained.
"Im not going, not unless you talk to me." I raised my chin and took a step towards him, the air too thick to catch my breath. "Promise youll talk to me when we get back to the hotel."
His eyes narrowed into slits and his face twisted in a sneer. "Why? Why should I promise you anything?"
It took all my strength not to budge, not to fold at the verbal blow he delivered. But there was no power left in my voice, and it came out in strained whisper. "Im your wife."
"Then act like it." He crossed the s.p.a.ce separating us, crowding me against the wall but not touching me. His face was in mine, hot liquored breath invading my senses, smelling just as venomous as he sounded. "Quit submitting to other men."
"Excuse me?" I didnt have to fake my strength then, my anger gave me all I needed. "I didnt do anything. I didnt submit to anyone. Dont you accuse me-"
"You were in the room with him for five minutes." He stood tall, looking down on me. "Five-f.u.c.king-minutes, but he had you all week."
The anger was draining from me, he wasnt accusing me of anything other than what I told him. But he had it wrong. "It wasnt like that. I was scared-"
"Then you come to me. d.a.m.n it, Regan-" His fist curled in his hair and he stepped back, sucking in his breath as he looked down the empty hall. When his eyes met mine again, they were clear, making his words that much sharper. Like they were fact and not emotion. "You let him in and let him mind f.u.c.k you all week before you finally broke and told me. And thats while hes still in prison."
I didnt realize he had been stalking towards me or that I had been retreating until my back hit the surface behind me.
He braced his palm on the wall next to my head and leaned in close. His voice slow and smooth, the fumes of alcohol wrapping around me. "What are you going to allow when hes out? How much power are you going to give that man?" Emotion seeped back into his words, his breathing deepening and voice thickening. His fingers curled and scratched the wall beside me, but his eyes held all my attention, the intensity in them sucking me in. "When its me you should turn to?"
"Im sorry. I-"
"Forget it." He cut off my words and stepped out of my reach when I tried to grab him. "Im putting a stop to it. Hes going to learn he cant mess with my family." He took steps back, steps away from me.
And suddenly it clicked; he was leaving tomorrow morning to go see him. It would be Sat.u.r.day, visiting day at the prison. He couldnt do that. I fell against the wall behind me for support, fear growing, twisting and constricting through me. "What are you going to do? Youre not going to see him, are you?"
"Im going to figure out what game hes playing at and end it. Him and Nikolai, they both played me for a fool, setting up that f.u.c.king meeting to get to you."
"Please," I was near tears, begging him. I gripped his arm, not letting go of the fabric as he tried to pull away. "Dont go there. Dont. Nothing good can come of it."
He stopped moving back, but stood statue still, body not budging or softening as I gripped him. He closed his eyes, hissing in a sharp breath. "Youre still thinking about him, giving him the control. Im taking it back."
I dropped my arms, staggered that he was being so short sighted. "Im thinking about the baby. Its not just us that could get hurt, and he made it clear-"
"I would never put you or the baby in harm. Im ending it before..." His words trailed off as another door opened and a group of men stepped out, coming down the hall towards us.
Gage stepped close to me, sliding his arm around me, speaking low. "Come on, were leaving. Well talk about this at the hotel." He walked us down the hall, arm secure around me. His heated body was rigid at my side, making the embrace cold.
The moment we ducked into the back of a waiting car, he dropped his arm from my side and kept a s.p.a.ce between us as we rode to our hotel. The chill increased between us, freezing my thoughts. I didnt know how to thaw him. I wasnt sure I wanted to. His words were picking away at me as I replayed them. The only thing I knew was that he couldnt go to that prison. He couldnt confront Rusnak. That was exactly what I had wanted to avoid.
By time we reached the room, everything in me stung, needle p.r.i.c.ks covering me as I struggled for air, my lungs seizing. I couldnt hold in the tears, and like a gunshot starting the race, I went into action the moment the door clicked close. I had to win, losing wasnt an option.
"Please. Im sorry, but please dont go there. Dont tell him I told you. Dont do this to us, to me."
He was staring at me like I had gone crazy. His rigid anger covered with confusion as he watched me fall apart. But I put all pride aside to fight for this. I had to get him to listen. I approached him and grabbed his hands in mine, but he held them limp. I searched his eyes for any reaction.
"Please, Gage. This one thing. Im asking for just this one thing."
He ripped his hands away, anger back and stronger than ever. "You ask too much."
I gripped my stomach at the icy blast he sent my way. I couldnt find my voice.
"Im supposed to let him walk around thinking he has a piece of you. Why the h.e.l.l would you want that?"
"I dont want you to get hurt." I sunk to my knees, crumbling, losing everything around me.
He took a breath, forcing down the anger. I could see him struggling with it, wresting the tension pulling on every muscle. "You have to trust me on this Regan." His voice was strained, but when he crouched in front of me, his touch was light as his fingers slid to my cheek. "I know what Im doing here."
I closed my eyes and absorbed his gentle caress on my cheek, but it didnt lift any of the terror crushing me.
His other hand slid to the opposite side of my head, turning me to look up at him, if I opened my eyes. I moved my hands over his and gripped them, a silent stream of tears flowing straight from my sliced heart.
"Regan." He increased the pressure of his hold, and I opened my eyes. He was still determined and that only increased my pain. "I need you to trust me to do whats best for us. Let me do this my way."
I shook my head no, and he tried to drop his hands, but I held tight. "Wait. Just wait, all right? Wait till he gets out, if he gets out. Dont go to that prison. Thered be nothing you could do but talk, and if things go wrong, theres n.o.body there that can help."
He looked away towards the wall, but he was in his own mind, jaw clenching with his thoughts.
"If he gets out, then we can decide what to do about him," I pressed.
His eyes cut back to me, embers of his anger still glowing in them.
"You want me to trust you. I want to trust you. But youre scaring the c.r.a.p out of me right now."
That seemed to hit something in him. He released a breath, eyes searching my face as his brows came together. "Im scaring you? It wasnt that long ago that you were under his control, pushing me away and turning to him. I cant f.u.c.king handle that again. Not now. Not ever."
I dropped my head, shamed by the past. "That wont happen. I wont let it." I spoke so low Id be surprised if he heard me.
He hooked one finger under my chin and lifted it back up. His voice soft but filled with strength, surety. "No, it wont happen again because you are mine. All of you. And I wont let him take any part of that."
I swallowed down my tears, catching a spark from him to strengthen my own flame. "Im yours. You have all of me, I gave it all to you. Now its your turn to trust me. This isnt something you need to fight for right now. Trust that I wont let him that close, and Ill tell you if he tries. I will turn to you. I wont wait, I promise. Just, please, dont do anything yet."
His nod was barely there, but I saw it and fell into him. His arms wrapped around me, catching me, pulling me close.
My relief was tempered when I tried to kiss him and he turned away. I leaned back in his arms to try and interpret his feelings, but his expression was too mixed to decipher. His soft lips pulled down and jaw flexed, a storm behind his eyes. My heart skipped at the thought that I maybe misread that nod to begin with. "Youre not going tomorrow, right?"
He shook his head, eyes bouncing over me before meeting mine. "I dont want to regret this." His sigh was heavy and full of unease. "Im doing this for you because I see how upset its getting you and..." He shook his head, looking away from me and then turning back, hands sliding to my stomach. "I dont want to cause you any pain. I dont want to be the one that scares you. I want to protect you and the baby. I want to do this my way, but," he silenced me before I could interrupt. "Im willing to try your way under one condition."
Needle p.r.i.c.ks covered my skin, unsure about his request. "What?"
His hand trailed through my hair, tugging at the end of the strands. His fingers shook and that made my heart tumble to my stomach.
"What is it?" I grabbed his hand and pulled it to my chest as I raised to my knees to be on his level. "Just tell me."
His mouth opened and closed a few times, but in the end he shook his head, defeated. "Its nothing. I thought-but no, never mind. Just-when Anatoli gets out, because I know its only a matter of when now, we have to do things my way. No arguments."
I paused, thinking over his request. As much as I wanted to give him whatever he wanted, I couldnt. "I cant promise that, but," I gripped his shoulders, silencing him this time. "I can promise Ill talk with you, and not do anything you dont want me to in regards to him. But we have to work together on this, baby." I dont know why baby slipped out; I rarely used that term, if ever. But his lip twitched, turning up for a brief second.