"The Rusnaks are part of that, they work with Viktor Kabinov-" I cut off my words at the look that flashed across his face.
"Who have you been talking to? What sort of game are you trying to run?" He rose from his seat but leaned in close to me over the table, anger turning his face red. "I believed you. I thought you were here to help. That you had real information."
"That is." I stood and pulled my arm from his hand as he reached for me, but his other hand locked on my wrist. "Let go."
"How do you know Viktor?"
"I told you, hes the head of-"
"The Bratva? Im supposed to believe hes the head of the Russain mafia here in New York?"
I jerked my wrist down, out of his grip, and he moved to block me from leaving. But I wasnt going anywhere. I faced him. "Who is he to you?"
He shook his head. "Like you dont know? Hes the lead legal council for our task force."
I shook my head, and he must have seen something in my eyes because he dropped his anger.
"Youre serious arent you?" His hand ran across his hair and he spoke loud, "Viktor Kabinov is part of the mafia?"
I hadnt seen the door open, but suddenly Gage was walking towards us, entering through the front. Anthony whirled away from me and reached for his gun, but Gages was already out and aimed at him.
"Keep your hands up where I can see them," Gage commanded.
"What the h.e.l.l is this Regan?" Anthony spoke low to me, hands up at his side.
Gage was there, gun pressed into Anthonys stomach as he searched his pockets. "What do you have? Are you recording her?" He slipped a phone from Anthonys pocket into his own and then pushed Anthony to the back door. "Come on, this meetings over."
"Stay here," He threw the command over his shoulder but wouldnt meet my eyes as he forced Anthony to the back room.
Like h.e.l.l I would. I needed to see what he was doing, my mind was spinning.
The second they stepped through the back door a gun was pressed to Gages head.
"Let him go." The mystery man spoke. I could only see his arm from behind Gage and Anthony.
I went to reach for the gun at Anthonys waist just as his hand moved for it, but I was shoved away. Hard. I stumbled back, never looking away from the scene in the doorway, not even to break my fall on the cement floor.
It all happened so fast. Gage moved, gripping Anthonys arms that now held his gun. He pulled Anthony in front of him as shots fired, and Anthony dropped with a bullet to the neck, blood pooling around him. I could only see the shoes and legs of the man beyond Gage, but he was crumpled on the ground as well. Gage was still standing, his lips pressed together, but a smile somewhere in his hard look.
"I didnt even have to shoot." He slipped his gun back under his coat and stepped over Anthony to me. He put his hand out, reaching to help me up.
I scrambled back, picking myself up off the ground, about to explode. "What the h.e.l.l just happened?" Standing, I could see clearly now. The guy in the doorway was dead, a bullet to the head.
"Ill explain when we get out of here. Come on." He stepped towards me again, arm going behind me.
His touch made me shake, that and Anthonys blood almost reaching our feet. I couldnt breathe. I remembered the phone Gage slid into his pocket. Anthonys phone.
"This was your plan all along? You set me up, didnt you? You used me to do this?" I gestured at the two men.
Gage pulled me to him, keeping me from backing up further, and I was shaking too hard to fight him off. Panic hurt my bones. I didnt know what to trust.
"Come on. We need to get out of here."
37: I Can See It.
HE HAD HIS ARM AROUND ME, DRAGGING me to the front of the club. Dragging because my feet wouldnt move. I wanted to look back, but I didnt. I couldnt. Anthony was dead. Anthony.
Then we werent moving. Gage had his hands on my shoulders, saying something.
"...Stay. Ill be quick." His hands dropped away, and he jogged back to where Anthony and the other man lay dead, leaving me at the club entrance.
I took a breath and followed, not caring what his instructions were. I needed to see what he was doing. I needed to figure out what he had done. He had his gun out as he went around the perimeter of the place, checking the office and back rooms. I stopped following and stood in the middle of the room, waiting, watching.
He ended his search at the people he killed. He crouched beside the other man and checked his pockets, pulling the dead mans phone out with a gloved hand.
Did he always have those gloves on? That image hit me harder than the bodies on the ground, he had been prepared, and I knew nothing. He had truly betrayed me, but how far did it go?
"Stay back." Gage pointed to the blood soaked ground. "Watch where you step, you dont want to leave prints." He only flicked his eyes to me for a moment before refocusing on the screen. "He already told someone about Viktor, but I dont see any messages mentioning us by name. f.u.c.k, they probably already told who they were meeting though."
I couldnt look at Gage. My eyes were stuck on Anthony. He had walked in here for me, but I led him to his death.
"I hope they did." I crossed my arms to keep still but then gave up trying, not seeing the point, and I went to Anthonys side. I laid my hand on his chest but pulled back immediately. He was already stiff, chest inflated unnaturally. It didnt feel like him. My vision blurred, tears filling my eyes beyond my control.
Gage was pulling on my arm, but I resisted.
"Get up. What are you doing?" He used both hands to lift me to my feet and turned me away from the scene.
"What the h.e.l.l are you doing?" I pushed at him, but he pulled me into him, restraining me in an embrace that use to give comfort but now only made me sick with anger.
"Trying to keep us alive." His arms held mine down as he pulled back and met my burning eyes with a look that gave me pause. Concern filled them, but it was the urgent, almost panic, spark in his gaze that froze me. "Calm down for one minute so I can put these phones back."
I didnt move, and he dropped my arms.
"Dont touch anything. Stay here." He stepped back slow, testing that I would listen.
I twisted to watch him but kept my feet still. He slipped to the backroom for a quick moment and then returned, crouching beside Anthony. He hesitated with Anthonys phone in his hand, and his eyes slid up to meet mine, his gaze icy as he looked at me.
"Hes the one that set you up, not me. He was recording everything you said." He held up the phone, but I couldnt make out what was on the dark screen. He pressed some b.u.t.tons and then wiped the screen on Anthonys pants. "I cleared it. I hope thats enough," he spoke low as he slid the phone into Anthonys pocket. "I would take it, but we dont want anything connecting us to this." He rose to his feet and his blue eyes pierced mine, determination making them sharp. "Lets go."
I walked on my own so he wouldnt pull me this time. I had to stand on my own, thats the only thing I kept thinking. Nothing else made sense. I quickened my pace as he came next to me, not letting him touch me.
We both pulled our hoods up as we stepped out of the doorway of the club into the chilling wind blowing dark clouds in.
"Did you park on Connecticut?" He ducked his head against a gust and I nodded, mute.
We walked in silence; cutting through warehouse parking lots and side alleys to get to the car.
"Ill drive." He reached his hand out for the keys, his gloves no longer on.
I handed them over, not wanting to drive. My world was spinning, and nothing seemed real.
The moment I sat in the pa.s.senger seat, I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temple, trying to block out all my senses, needing all my energy to process and make sense of everything. But I couldnt. Not on my own.
"Why did you do it?" I asked Gage with a cracked voice. My throat like sandpaper.
He flashed his eyes to me, pulling off the curb we were parked on. "Because I had to."
"Why didnt you tell me?" I pressed when it was clear he wasnt saying anymore.
"Tell you what?" He was close to shouting, voice sharp. "You honestly think I knew that was going to f.u.c.king happen?" He stopped in the middle of the empty street, throwing the shift into park and twisting in his seat to face me in one forceful movement. "That I sent you in there alone to tell him s.h.i.t just so I could kill him?"
Yes. I did. And the fire in his eyes didnt look like he was sorry about any of it. He looked wild. Dangerous. Someone who would take whatever they wanted no matter who they hurt, including me.
I leaned away as he came at me, but I couldnt move quick enough. He gripped my shoulders, leaning into my s.p.a.ce.
"Think. Think for a moment. Why would I do that?" His eyes bounced over me, and his grip relaxed on my arms. He softened and deflated as he exhaled, and his hands slid over my shoulders and arms. "Babe, youve got to trust me."
I pushed off his touch. "No, I dont. Not when you do things like this. You killed him."
His hands had hung in the air between us, but he curled them into fists now and pulled them back to his body. His muscles went rigid and jaw flexed under his skin. "Was I supposed to let him shoot me first? You saw that. He was going for his gun, his partner already had his gun out and on me."
The truth in his words cracked my anger a little, I wanted to reach through and believe in him.
"But you came in there with your gun up."
"I saw that other guy sneak into the back, so I came through the front. But he had you cornered, and his hand kept f.u.c.king going to his pocket. I wasnt taking any chances." He ran his hand over his head, knocking off his hood and tugging at the ends of his hair. "It was them or us. And they might have f.u.c.king screwed us already." He looked around the car, chest rising and falling as something built in him. A storm, the flash in his eyes was a warning. He directed it at me, his energy blowing down my defenses. "Why cant you see it? I did this for you. For us. All of this. Everything Ive done since Ive got you back has been for you. And now this f.u.c.king plan has blown up, and I need you to-I just need you."
He broke first. His head dropped, and his hands reached for me, one grabbing my hand, the other my leg. "I need to know youre here with me and not going to run." His breathing strained, the tension in the air making it hard. The dark despair in his eyes stole my heart. "But I can see it in you. Youre going to jump the second I turn my back."
I shook my head, but I couldnt deny what he said. "I just dont understand what happened. Make me understand," it was more of a demand than a request.
"How can I, when Im not sure either?" But he was speaking calmer now, and that helped to calm me. He watched his hand move absently on my leg. "I was walking up on the club like we discussed, but you werent out there." The lines on his hand strained slightly, and I knew that had been my first mistake, even if he didnt say it out loud. "I saw that guy slip into the back though, so I went to the front. I still have the keys for the place and was able to let myself in. I could hear you two talking, and he sounded angry, but when I saw he had you cornered, plus knowing he had some other a.s.shole in the place, I had to put an end to it."
There was a strong thread of anger to his words, but he was trying to keep calm. His muscles strained, but his touch stayed soft on me. "Even then, I wasnt planning on killing him. I wanted to question him and find out what the h.e.l.l he was doing. I pulled my gun because he reached for something in his pocket. It was his phone so I took it. But its like I said before, we have to be prepared for anything, and when I pulled him to the other room and that guy put a gun to my head, I reacted." He paused a moment before continuing, trying to read my reaction, but I had none. Not yet. "It worked for our benefit that they both pulled their guns. I used Anthonys to shoot his partner and pulled him in the line of that guys bullet before it could hit me. Only thing is, now we cant ask them questions."
I let his story sink in and shaped my thoughts around it, wishing I hadnt been so quick to accuse him. But I couldnt stop being skeptical.
"What about Viktor, did you know he was with the FBI?"
"What?" He flinched back a little. "Viktors FBI? Thats not right. Hes some political lawyer or something, not FBI."
I shook my head. "Anthony said he was head council of the task force."
He sat back in the drivers seat and pulled out his phone, frowning at the screen. "I dont know, but well figure it out. Theres a lot we need to figure out right now. Lets get home, okay?" He set his phone on the console and shifted the car to drive.
Text messages popped up on the screen from different numbers. He kept glancing to it, and so did I.
Tonight.
10.
Subs I grabbed his hand before he could pick up the phone. "What does it mean?"
Another text vibrated his phone, and I removed my hand to read it.
Only You We both looked at each other then.
"It means, we need to come up with a new plan f.u.c.king quick." He stepped on the gas, forcing the car back to our condo as fast as possible.
38: Against Everything.
I SAT ON THE EDGE OF OUR bed, my thoughts weighing me down, unsure if I was feeling everything too much or nothing at all. Every inch of skin tingled with nerves running through me like a current, but my heart wasnt present, knocked out and empty.
Gage pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to our bedroom floor.
"We need to shower before we do anything. Come on." His light eyes looked dark as he stretched his arm out to me. He was so close, I only had to lift my hand to place mine in his, but I didnt move.
His chest rose and fell a few times as he waited on me, and he looked like the same dangerously s.e.xy man I fell in love with. It made me breathless to think about the truth of that danger, and that I had wanted it. I had wanted him. We may be able to wash off the blood, but it would still be there.
"Regan," his voice was low as he stepped towards me.
I pulled back, not from him but from any contact. Even the idea of water from a shower touching me was too much. I was struggling to hold it together, and the slightest touch would shatter that.
He jerked back, soft voice turned sharp. "Youre still mad at me? About him?"
I dropped my eyes to the floor. Him, Anthony. I wasnt sure how I felt about him now. I wanted to be angry. It was easier than being sad. But I wasnt sure who to be angry with. Probably Anthony himself.
"No," I spoke without emotion and closed my eyes. "Im just trying to think. Go get your shower."
His sigh was heavy, but I didnt dare look up and meet his gaze. I knew the weight of the look that went with that sound.