Outsider Series.
Outsider.
Smeltzer, Micalea.
I Will Follow You Into The Dark.
Love of mine some day you will die.
But I"ll be close behind.
I"ll follow you into the dark No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight Waiting for the hint of a spark.
If heaven and h.e.l.l decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the no"s on their vacancy signs.
If there"s no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I"ll follow you into the dark In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule.
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black And I held my toungue as she told me "Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back If heaven and h.e.l.l decide That they both are satisfied.
Illuminate the no"s on their vacancy signs If there"s no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I"ll follow you into the dark.
You and me have seen everything to see From Bangkok to Calgary And the soles of your shoes are all worn down.
The time for sleep is now It"s nothing to cry about Cause we"ll hold each other soon.
The blackest of rooms If heaven and h.e.l.l decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the no"s on their vacancy signs.
If there"s no one beside you When your soul embarks.
Then I"ll follow you into the dark Then I"ll follow you into the dark.
-Death Cab for Cutie.
prologue.
It was amazing how your whole life could be split apart by a few simple words. Everything that I had known to be true was anything but. They were asking me to believe in the impossible. Not only that... they were telling me that I was a part of it. I didn"t want to believe. Stupidly I thought that if maybe I blinked my eyes rapidly this would all go away. But this wasn"t a dream. It wasn"t even a nightmare. It was harsh reality. It was real. Deep down in my soul I knew what they spoke of was the truth. I was a werewolf. No, that wasn"t the correct term. Shifter. I was a shifter.
But there was something else that I knew that I didn"t want to admit to myself.
Caeden.
Caeden Williams was my mate, my destiny, my future. The love I felt for him frightened me more than the harsh reality that I was shifter. I wanted to deny my affection, to fight it, but fighting it was impossible. Thoughts of him consumed my every waking hour and even the ones when I was sleeping.
But to accept being a shifter meant I had to accept Caeden as my mate. Accepting Caeden as my mate meant accepting my destiny as a shifter.
Was I ready for that commitment?
My heart and soul screamed yes while my mind said no.
What does one do? Follow their heart or run from it?.
one.
"Daddy, I"ll be fine really. It"s not like you"re sending me to live with Satan. This is Gram. Everything will be fine. You worry too much," I said as my dad loaded my last suitcase into the back of my brand new white Honda Pilot. It was a gift from my parents for always putting up with moving. My dad was in the military and all we had ever done was move. We were back in the states now, Indiana, but my dad was being transferred to Germany. We had lived so many places they had started to blur together. I had been born in France, then we"d moved to the United Kingdom, Ireland, Scotland, Spain, and j.a.pan just to name a few. I had friends, which were more like acquaintances, all over the world. We didn"t stay in one place long enough for me to make a lasting friend. But this time was different. My parents knew I was sick of moving all the time and decided since it was my senior year that I could move in with Gram. My Gram lives in a small town in Virginia. I had been there a few times and it was just a quaint little place surrounded by larger cities. In other words it wasn"t very exciting but it would be a steady solid home and that was just what I needed.
"Sophie, you"re my only child. It"s my job to worry about you," he said closing the trunk.
My mom chose that moment to come out of the house with a bag in her hand and a tissue held to her face.
"Sweetie, I"m going to miss you so much," she said grabbing me into a hug.
"Mommy," I said hugging her back, "I love you."
She pulled away but held me at arm"s length. "Promise you"ll call every day."
"I promise mom," I said. She nodded as if my answer was good enough for her.
"Don"t worry about her honey. My mom will take good care of her," my dad said. He wiped his brow with his hand. My dad had thick dark brown hair and hazel eyes.
"I know," my mom said, "But she"s my little girl."
"She"s my little girl too," my dad said rubbing her back.
"Um... Little girl standing right here," I said. It always drove me crazy when my parents acted like I wasn"t standing right in front of them.
My dad laughed his good belly laugh.
"Alright, Christine, we"ve got to let her get on the road. She has quite a drive ahead of her."
"I"m not ready," my mom said dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. She had her honey brown hair pulled back into a sloppy pony tail and her makeup was starting to run as her dark brown eyes pooled with tears. I had my dad"s dark hair that was slightly wavy like my mom"s but sometimes wanted to hang like limp noodles and I had my mom"s brown eyes. My features were a mix of both of theirs. I had my dad"s long straight aristocratic nose and my mom"s full lips but unfortunately my top lip was slightly larger than the bottom. Luckily, I hadn"t inherited my dad"s widow"s peak.
They each gave me a hug and then my dad handed me my car keys. He pulled me in for yet another hug.
"Take this for gas and anything else you need while you"re with Gram. This is for emergencies only though. No shopping sprees," he joked as he slid a credit card into my hand. My dad knew I wasn"t into clothes and therefore had nothing to worry about. I had learned a long time ago that the less I owned the less I had to pack.
I got in my car and backed out of the driveway. Looking in my rearview mirror I could see my mom and dad standing on the driveway waving. He had his arm around her but then I saw the FOR SALE sign and it shattered the image. If they weren"t moving I wouldn"t have to do this.
I sighed and turned up the radio. A loud pop song was on but for once I didn"t mind; anything to keep me awake. I had a long drive ahead of me; almost ten hours and I wasn"t looking forward to it.
Familiar sights flashed by me. Our neighborhood, my school, the 7Eleven where my friends and I always hung out. The sights didn"t bother me as much as it might someone else. I was used to leaving. Leaving I could handle but I wasn"t so sure if I would be able to handle staying.
I got onto the highway and the car hummed pleasantly. The traffic was heavy and I became increasingly irritated. After driving for four hours with no stops I finally pulled over and filled the car with gas and used the bathroom. There was a Wendy"s next door so I walked over and got something to eat. It was twelve o" clock and people were out milling about. I couldn"t help but envy them and their simple uncomplicated lives.
I got back in the car wishing that I was already there. Depending on traffic I had another five to six hours ahead of me.
I had to stop again another four hours later to get something to eat. I grabbed a drink and sandwich and ate it in the car. I had five missed calls. Three from my parents, one from my friends, and one from Gram. I took a bite of sandwich and decided to call my parents back first.
My mom answered on the first ring. Was I fine? Yes, I a.s.sured her. Was I getting close? Yep, almost there. Would I call when I got there? Yeah, definitely.
I hung up and called my friends back. Hopefully they would be able to cheer me up.
"Hey," I sighed into the phone.
"Oh my G.o.d, Sophie, it"s only been twenty-four hours and we already don"t know what to do without you!" said Anna. I could hear the sounds of Katelyn and Jess in the background.
"I"m sure you"ll be fine without me," I said with a smile tugging at my lips.
"We"ll never be the same! You"re the life of the party!" sounded Jess"s voice.
"Well I can"t argue with you there," I said laughing. I was far from the life of the party. I was the quiet timid girl in the background. Being the center of attention was more Anna"s scene. I knew I could count on them to make me laugh, though. "I better go," I said, wanting to finish my calls so that I could get back on the road.
"Okay," said Anna, "We miss you!" all three of them said in unison before hanging up.
Before calling Gram back I got out and threw away my trash. Climbing back in I dialed her number but all I got was her voicemail.
"Hey, Gram it"s me Sophie, I"m almost there. I"m going to be about another hour to an hour and a half. So, I"ll see you when I get there. Bye," I said hanging up. I couldn"t wait to finally get there. My legs were stiff and my b.u.t.t was starting to hurt from sitting so long.
I got off of I-81 onto my exit and relief flooded my body. I was here. I had done it. The trees were tall and bright green. I could see mountains. There were no mountains in Indiana. Everything here was new and different. It was wonderful.
I turned onto the back road and seeing my gas gauge swivel closer and closer to the big E I decided to fill up before I officially arrived at Gram"s. I drove down to the Handy Mart that I remembered being close to Gram"s house. A bunch of kids my age were hanging out in the parking lot. I a.s.sumed they went to the local high school and would be my cla.s.smates. School didn"t start for another three days. My schedule and everything was already in order. I got out of my car and swiped my dad"s credit card. As I was pumping gas I noticed that pretty much everyone was looking at me. The kids that had been hanging out laughing were now staring right at me. I looked down at my feet but I could still feel their eyes on me. I heard the little click that said the car was full so I replaced the nozzle and jumped in my car as quick as I could. I looked back at the crowd of kids and saw their eyes follow my car. It looked like school was going to be awesome.
I pulled into the neighborhood and quickly found Gram"s quaint but cute pale yellow house. As I pulled up I could see her sitting on the little white front porch rocking in a rocking chair that she got one summer at Cracker Barrel. Seeing me she jumped up and waved enthusiastically. I pulled into the driveway and hopped out of the car. I ran into her welcoming arms like a little kid. She kissed the top of my head and then held me at arm"s length.
"Wow, my child, you"re taller every time I see you! What are you now six foot?" she said.
I laughed, "No, gram. I"m actually five-ten."
"Close enough," she said giving me a huge smile, "Sophie it"s so good to have you here."
"It"s good to have a home," I said.
She got a sad look and said, "Remember Sophie, it"s the people that make the home not the place."
I gave her a small smile, "Then this should be the best home yet," I said.
"That"s the spirit," she said patting my shoulder.
She helped me carry my bags in from the car. We put it all in the guest room that would now be my room.
"Your dad called and he told me to tell you to go ahead and use his card to buy some stuff to fix up the room to suit you."
I smiled, "That was nice of him but it"s your house. I doubt you want me changing stuff."
"Oh no dear, go right on ahead. In fact I got you a gift card to the hardware store down the road for you to get some paint. I doubt you want this color. And just so you know I was planning on redoing this room anyway. So, now I don"t have to pay for it. Just don"t tell your dad," she laughed.
"You"re the best Gram," I said. Looking around the room I was grateful that my dad was going to give me the money to fix up the room. The walls were an old faded blue that was peeling in places. There were leak spots on the ceiling. The bedspread was old and had been there for years. At one point it had been white but now looked yellow. There was still a nail polish stain on the wicker dresser. It needed work. A lot of work.
"I made your favorite for dinner," Gram said.
"You mean," I said my eyes dreamy, "Your famous spaghetti?"
"The one and only," she said.
"I love you," I said running to the kitchen. I could immediately smell the heavenly scent of Gram"s own spaghetti sauce recipe. My mouth began to salivate. "Can we eat now?" I asked.
"Of course," she said.
We sat down at the table together. Everything was just as I remembered it. From the yellow walls to the rooster salt and pepper shakers. This was the only place that ever felt like home to me. We moved around too much for me to permanently get too attached to one place. Moving never got easier but I did get used to it which helped. Whenever we moved I knew we probably wouldn"t stay for more than six months. The most we ever stayed in one place was a year. But every summer I would come and stay at Gram"s house. I looked forward to it every year. I hadn"t spent the whole summer here this year because I wanted to spend as much time as I could with my mom and dad. I probably wouldn"t get to see them again until graduation. The thought saddened me but I knew living here was for the best.
Spooning spaghetti onto my plate Gram said, "I"ll need you to work at the shop while you"re here. After school and a little on the weekends. I just really need the help and of course I"ll pay you well," she smiled.
Gram owned her own little store not far from here. It was called Lucinda"s. Lucinda was my Gram"s first name. Her specialty was cupcakes. Gram made the best cupcakes in the world. Actually, Gram made the best of everything. But she also sold little sandwiches and had the store set up for people to sit and read or write or just hang out.
Sprinkling cheese onto my food I said, "I love working at your shop Gram. It"s so magical and special. It"s my second favorite place in the world," I said taking a bite "Oh my G.o.d this is so good," I moaned.
Gram laughed, "Glad you like it," she nodded to my heaping spoon, "So what"s your favorite place?" she asked.
I shrugged, "Here of course."
She laughed, "What"s so special about here?"
"I don"t know," I said, "You"re here. And promise not to laugh?"
"Cross my heart," she said.
"I just... I don"t know... I feel connected to this place. Like- like I belong here or something. I know it sounds silly but it"s the truth."
Gram"s face became very serious as she listened. Her eyes darkened and she became grim, "There"s nothing silly about the truth, my dear."
two.
That night I settled into bed. I was extremely tired and I knew that I would have a rough couple of days ahead of me with preparing for school and my new life here. Pulling the blankets back from the bed I climbed in and scooted under the covers. I thought for sure that I would fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow but that didn"t happen.
First I heard the howling of wolves. Then one wolf. The lone wolf sounded like it was right outside.
But wolves don"t live in Virginia.
Then I heard something sc.r.a.ping at my window.