I used to get so excited when he said that he was dropping by for a little while. Not so much anymore. I kept telling myself, "It"ll pa.s.s," but it never did. He"d grown more loving and tender, and both of those freaked me the h.e.l.l out. It ain"t my bag.
Years ago, I"d be jumping up and down on the bed, waiting for the big, bad Sam, a.k.a. Flash, to come toss my apples. Now, it was- "Ready or not, here I come!" he yelled from the bathroom, interrupting my thoughts.
"Yippee," I muttered, rolling my eyes as I leaned up on my elbows.
He strode into the room stark naked and dripping wet. "You look edible." He stopped at the foot of my bed and stared down at me. "I think you need to come, Izzy. You"re wound tight tonight. Let me help you out." He grabbed my feet and yanked my body to the edge of the bed.
"Up for the challenge?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as I placed the bottom of my feet on his chest.
"Babe, really?" he asked, holding my ankles.
"You think you"re that good at eating p.u.s.s.y?" I laughed, trying not to hurt his male ego.
"I munch like no other."
I knew the man tried to be s.e.xy, but ew. He wasn"t. "Show me whatcha got. If you"re a good boy, I"ll give ya some p.u.s.s.y."
He rubbed his hands together before placing my foot on his shoulder. "I"m going to eat it like it"s my last f.u.c.king meal."
I melted into the bed, feeling his hot breath on me as he inhaled.
"Better than fresh-baked apple pie."
"Less talking, more eating, Flash." I threw my arm over my face, blocking out all light as he placed his mouth on me.
Moaning, he sucked my c.l.i.t into his mouth, making my eyes roll back into my head.
"f.u.c.k," I hissed, drawing in a sharp breath.
He mumbled, the vibration penetrating my skin, as he drew me deeper into his mouth. Sinking into the bed, I reached down and grabbed his head.
"Right there, Flash," I pleaded, grinding my p.u.s.s.y against his face.
He gripped my thighs, pulling me closer as his tongue traced tiny circles around my c.l.i.t.
Shivers raked my body. He knew exactly how I liked it. Many years of fooling around had given him that advantage over other men. His fingers slid through my wetness, causing my body to clench in antic.i.p.ation.
"You missed me, baby," he murmured against my p.u.s.s.y, his hot breath lashing my c.l.i.t like a whip.
"Flash," I warned, pushing myself against his face. "Shut up and eat."
"Mmm hmmm," he mumbled, closing his lips around my c.l.i.t, sucking gently.
Needing something more, I touched my nipples, rolling them between my fingers. Waves of pleasure came over me as I stared at him. Moaning and writhing underneath his touch, I closed my eyes and rode the crest, waiting for it to come crashing down and wash away the stress.
The warmth of his mouth, the flicks of his tongue, the pressure of his sucking, and my fingers on my b.r.e.a.s.t.s had me screaming within minutes.
"f.u.c.k," I mumbled, my body growing limp as I sagged into the mattress.
"d.a.m.n," Flash groaned, licking his lips as he pushed himself up. Resting on his heels, he stroked his shaft and stared. "Baby, I can"t wait to tap that p.u.s.s.y. I"ve missed you and being deep inside you."
I giggled, grabbing my sides as I rolled over. "Oh my G.o.d. When did you turn so wishy-washy?" I asked, gasping for air.
"f.u.c.k you, Izzy. I know you f.u.c.king love me," he said as he started to lean over me.
"Wait," I said, putting my feet against his chest, pushing him away. "We"re friends, Sam. Nothing more." I needed him to understand this. He and I would never be any more than what we were right now-f.u.c.k buddies.
We didn"t go for drinks like girlfriends to talk about our lives. He never took me to dinner, unless you count the s.h.i.thole bar in town as a restaurant, or McDonald"s. We didn"t hold hands, walk along the beach, or snuggle. We f.u.c.ked and he left. Plain. Simple. No feelings involved.
"I know, Izzy." He swallowed hard, his Adam"s apple bobbing, as he looked down at me. "I meant as a friend. I"ve known you my entire life."
"Just as long as we"re clear, Flash." I slid my feet down his chest, rubbing against his hard length before I opened my legs to him. The look on his face was closer to a little boy losing a puppy dog than one about to f.u.c.k my brains out. "Come here and kiss me already," I said, holding out my arms to him.
A small smile spread across his face as he leaned over me, placing his arms under my body. "I thought you"d never ask," he said with a chuckle.
I"d known Flash long enough to know that there was something more he wanted to say, but he always held back. I loved him. Don"t get me wrong. We"d gone to kindergarten together, but I wasn"t in love with him. I never would be, either.
I grabbed his face as he hovered over me. "Hey," I whispered, "I"m happy you"re here."
His eyes lit up as he rested his forehead against mine. "Thanks, Izzy. It"s just so hard at times."
"What is, babe?" I asked, moving my arms around his shoulders.
"Being part of the Sun Devils MC. I feel so lonely."
"Get yourself an ol" lady," I replied.
He rolled his eyes, pushing himself up on his elbows. "They"re bulls.h.i.t."
"Come on. I"m sure there"s someone you"re sweet on, Flash."
"She"s not-"
"Babe, listen to me. Everyone needs someone. You need to fill that void."
He sprawled out on the mattress, putting his hands behind his head. "It"s not that simple, Izzy."
Resting my head in my hand, I placed the other on his chest. "I know. You have a big heart, and any girl would be lucky to have you, Sam."
He didn"t like anyone calling him that anymore, but I was always the exception to the rule. I only used it to help drive home the point. He needed to finally comprehend that he and I would never be a "we."
"Not the one I want, though," he mumbled, blowing out a breath.
My heart hurt for him, but I just couldn"t give myself to him in that way. "I"m sorry. You know I love you, but not in that way. You"ll always be one of my best friends. You need to forget about me and find someone who"s going to love you the way you deserve to be loved."
"Yeah, maybe." He closed his eyes as he laid his hand on top of mine and stroked my skin. "No woman will ever measure up to you, though, Isabella."
"I know I"m pretty fanf.u.c.kingtastic, but I"m not the one. She"ll fall into your lap when you least expect it," I said as I nuzzled my face against his chest.
"What about you?" he asked, kissing the top of my head.
"What about me?" I looked at him.
"When are you going to find someone to love?"
"Aw, baby. I have my family. I don"t need anyone else."
"We all do, Iz. When are you going to stop lying to yourself?"
I winked at him, laying my head back down against his skin as I twirled his dark chest hair in my fingers. "I have as much love as I can handle. I don"t want to be tied down. I"m happy with my life. The last thing I am is lonely."
"Liar." He laughed, pulling me flush against his side. "Can we just sleep like this tonight?"
"Snuggle?" I asked, wanting to run out of the room.
"I just want to feel close to someone tonight. Please, Iz. I"m so comfortable like this. I don"t want to sleep on the couch."
I bit my lip, feeling s.h.i.tty about always doing that to him. Having him sleep in my bed always felt too intimate for me to handle. "Fine," I said, hoping I wouldn"t regret it later. "Don"t get used to it."
"Thanks," he whispered, burrowing his nose in my hair. "Night."
"Night," I mumbled as I closed my eyes.
An overwhelming sense of guilt came over me as I lay in his arms. Flash loved me, and had voiced it many times over the years. I"d always set him straight. Tonight felt different, though. It was as if I"d had a knife and jammed it in his heart. I felt like such a c.u.n.t for telling him I wouldn"t love him-not in that way, at least.
We"d sworn that it wouldn"t be any more than a physical friendship. He"d promised me years ago that he wouldn"t fall in love with me. Sam had given me that amazing smile while speaking the words I"d wanted to hear but meaning none of them. I felt the end near for us, because I couldn"t handle having to kill his heart and hurt him every time we were together.
Hurting someone, no matter the reason, sucks-especially when they"re a friend. Someone who has been by your side and had your back since you were a little girl is an important person. He meant the world to me, but I could never settle down and spend my life with Flash.
I needed to let him down easy, and that wasn"t my strong suit. I always spoke my mind, and sometimes I came off as brash or unkind.
I curled into his side, letting my old friend drift to sleep while I mulled over my future without Flash weaving himself in and out of my life through the months. I needed to move on. More importantly, he needed to move on and find himself someone to love.
As long as it wasn"t me.
RESISTING BY Ch.e.l.lE BLISS.
2 - Izzy "Morning, beautiful," Flash whispered in my ear as I hugged my pillow, facing away from him.
"Morning," I said, groaning as I stretched.
I wasn"t a morning person. I"d slept like s.h.i.t with Flash in my bed. He"d been a hog and snored no matter how much I"d elbowed him to move. The noise just kept coming. I"d thought about pinching his nose, but I"d also thought that"d earn me an elbow to the face by accident. So I"d covered my head with my pillow, faced away from him, and prayed for him to shut the f.u.c.k up.
"Sleep well?" he asked, stroking my arm lightly as goose b.u.mps broke out across my skin.
"Ugh," I whined, turning toward him. "No."
"I slept like a f.u.c.kin" rock." He smiled, brushing the hair out of my eyes.
"Yeah, I know," I mumbled.
His slow blinks and sappy smile made my stomach turn. He wasn"t staring at me like a piece of meat or a hit-it-and-quit-it kind of thing. His face screamed that he loved me, and it freaked me the f.u.c.k out.
"So, what do you want to do today?" he asked, his eyes searching my face.
I bit the inside of my lip. "It"s Thanksgiving, Flash. I"m going to spend the day with my family."
"f.u.c.k," he muttered as he stared at the ceiling.
"What?" I asked, pulling the sheet over my b.r.e.a.s.t.s as I sat up and rested against the headboard.
"I forgot it"s Thanksgiving."
"I"m sure your parents are expecting you."
"No, they"re out of town. I"ll just do what I came here for and head back to the clubhouse."
f.u.c.king great. I don"t want him to be alone on a holiday. No one deserves that. "I"m sure Joe wouldn"t mind if you came to dinner. He cooks for an army, just like my ma."
"You wouldn"t care?" he asked, looking over at me with puppy-dog eyes.
"No. You know everybody, and my mom has always liked you."
"Your mom is the best d.a.m.n cook. That"s one of the reasons I liked you as a kid. Your mom fed everybody."
"You liked me because I let you feel me up in eighth grade." I laughed, hitting him in the face with my pillow.
"Yeah, that too." He grabbed me by the arms, pulling me down on top of him.
"Flash," I warned.
"I know, Izzy. I"m just a c.o.c.k to you."
I hit his shoulder hard, making my palm sting. "f.u.c.ker, you"re a friend, but your c.o.c.k is mighty fine."
"My c.o.c.k could use some attention."
"So could my p.u.s.s.y."
"Listen, you greedy little c.u.n.t. I ate you so f.u.c.king good last night and what did I get?"
"You just said what you got. You got to eat my p.u.s.s.y."
"Izzy," he said, grabbing my shoulder. "My b.a.l.l.s are gonna burst. You gotta help a guy out here."
I crawled on top of him, straddling him, and felt his d.i.c.k already hard underneath me. "Flash, what do I get if I let you?"
"Woman," he said as he swatted my a.s.s. "You"ll get to come on my "mighty fine c.o.c.k," as you called it."