Our attention is directed toward the commissioner as he walks in with Greer following behind him and stops in front of Gabby, Agent f.u.c.ktard, and me before announcing his decision.
"This information isn"t to leave this room. No one is allowed to know that Jefferson is still out there. You three." He points between Gabby, f.u.c.ktard and me. "Are going to work together on this. I want Jefferson brought in quickly and quietly."
"But sir," Agent Emery, slash, f.u.c.ktard-turned-my-partner objects. "How do we even know she can be trusted?" He jabs his thumb in the air at my direction. "I mean, he escaped in her custody. What"s to say she won"t let him go again?"
"You two are. You"re about to become her eyes and ears. He obviously has an interest in his wife still, or he wouldn"t have demanded she be here. And we"re going to exploit that relationship."
"I"m here. You know. I can hear everything you"re saying," I add, annoyed that they"re talking about me like I"m an a.s.set instead of an agent.
"Samuels, I want you to go back home. We"re going to put you under constant surveillance, and if he"s watching you, we"ll find him."
"I"m really not comfortable with this. I"m not the right person to be involved in this case," I argue. As much as I hate to admit it, Agent f.u.c.ktard is right. I don"t think I can be trusted to bring Drake in. I"m too messed up just dealing with the fact he"s still alive.
"Suck it up, Samuels. You lost him. You bring him back. Make this right or you"ll no longer have a job with this, or any other law enforcement agency. Is that understood?"
I nod, my ability to pay my mortgage hanging on the line. "Yes sir."
"Good. Then I expect you to review the footage of the facility leading up to and after the escape. I want a full report on my desk by morning."
"It already is morning, sir," Agent Emery points out, and I glance at my watch, seeing that it is already 2am.
"Then I suggest you all get to work."
Exchanging glances with Gabby, I let out a slow breath, hating that I"m in this situation. This casethat case the case that took it all, and that I thought was over, is back on. This is the last thing I wanted.
DEEP COVER: CASE 001.
BY LILLIANA ANDERSON.
004.
After spending hours going over the security footage from around the building, we aren"t any closer to finding out who it was that helped Drake escape. So after being dragged over the coals by the commissioner again, my new team and I end up looking for some sort of digital imprint to give us a clue as to who got past our security and where they might be hiding.
Agent Emery is your typical man in the field, and he"s of no use to me while I work my fingers to the bone, chasing down every cyber avenue I can possibly think of to find a starting point for our search. Gabby"s strength is in intelligence gathering, so all she can do at this point is put out some feelers to see if there"s anyone known who"s capable of such a feat and be a good friend and bring me buckets worth of coffee to keep me from pa.s.sing out.
But once again, there"s no trace of anyone in the system besides the fact that everything went dead and two minutes later, it came back, and there was no evidence that anything more than a glitch had happened.
"How can you find no trace?" Emery asks me. "I thought you were the best in the cybercrime division. They say you hack circles around the lot of them.
"And I do. But we"ve been hacked by a ghost. I can"t find a trail. I only know we were hacked because of the two minute system failure."
"A ghost?" he asks, rubbing his long fingered hand over his face as he paces the floor beside me for something to do. "So he wasn"t extracted by G.o.d. The ghosts came and got him." He throws his arms in the air and yells, "Call Mulder and Scully! We"re dealing with ghosts."
I look up at him with what I hope is my most unimpressed expression. "Mulder and Scully dealt with alien cases. I think you"re after Sam and Deanthey"re the supernatural experts."
Gabby responds by covering her mouth to stifle a giggle as Emery rolls his eyes and shakes his head, pausing his pacing so he can stand in front of me, hands on hips. "I don"t give a f.u.c.k, Samuels. All I know is that this is bulls.h.i.t. You shouldn"t be on this case as an agent. You"re attachment to our target compromises us, and I don"t think you can be trusted."
"I feel exactly the same about you."
A burst of laughter erupts from his chest, causing his wiry shoulders to bounce upward, comically. "You don"t trust me? Wow, that"s almost as funny as your story about how Jefferson escaped and then the story about the "ghost"." He uses air quotes to emphasise how ridiculous he feels it is. "I"m not the one messing up my job here."
"I"m not messing up my job, and I"m not compromised. I want Drake back just as much as you do. I"m sorry that he got away on my watch. Perhaps I was a little shocked at seeing my dead husband alive again that I didn"t realise he was trying to escape. Yes, I was married to the man. But that was four years ago, and I"ve moved on with my life. If I weren"t a d.a.m.n good agent, they wouldn"t have trusted me enough to bring me in here in the first place. And guess what? I wasn"t the only one in the building. Whoever pulled him out got past all of us. And as for this "ghost" that you seem so unwilling to believe, I"ll thank you to shut your f.u.c.king mouth about things you know nothing of. A ghost is a hacker who can get in an out of systems without leaving a trace. They"re a rare breed, and as yet, we haven"t had a single capture. There are rumours in hacker communities of a handful of people who can pull off the hacks that most people can only dream about doing. But no one know who, because they never get caught.i.t"s why they"re ghosts."
For a moment, he just stands there, his eyes meeting mine as if we challenging each other, glaring until one of us backs down. And it isn"t going to be me. I didn"t get to where I was in an agency full of men by being a push over.
He doesn"t back down either. Greer enters the room and we break the stare as soon as he demands our attention with the clap of his hands.
"Surveillance is set up, and a team is in place in case he shows up. I suggest you all go home, get some rest and get back here in the morning, ready to move this search forward."
Emery and I acknowledge the order with a nod, and as we leave the building. I walk with Gabby, and he heads straight to his car without a word.
"He"s a delightful man," I comment, as the sound of his door slamming shut claps through the cool evening air.
"He"s all right once you get to know him," Gabby says, as his engine starts and he motors away. We reach her parked car and stop, with her leaning against it while we continue to talk. "But I"m more interested in you. How are you feeling after seeing him again?"
I shake my head and shrug my shoulders, looking up at the darkening sky before I can find the words to express the mind f.u.c.k I"m going through. "I don"t know. I"m angry. I"m shocked. I"m heartbroken. I mean, where the h.e.l.l has he been? And why couldn"t he contact me somehow? I"m just... I don"t know. I feel like I"m one of those kids whose dad went to the shop for a pack of cigarettes and never came back..."
She reaches out and runs a hand up and down my arm in comfort as she presses her lips together and looks up at me from her slightly shorter five foot-seven frame, her plain brown eyes filled with sympathy and concern.
"And you"re sure he didn"t say anything, or do anything else?"
"No. Nothing. He said he"d be in touch and then he was gone. That"s all I have. I promise."
"Ok," she says, letting out a breath as she smooths her hands over her head where her brown hair is pulled back into a tight bun. "I just can"t believe he"s still alive...I mean, is this going to change things? You just started getting serious with Gavin."
"I know," I whine, pressing the pads of my finger and thumb to my eyes as I remember that Gavin is probably still waiting for me at my house. Gabby is the reason Gavin and I are together. We met him at a party, where he was there as a friend of a friend, but we hit it off, and eventually things became more intense between us when I was ready to move on, and he"s been solid in my life ever since. "How do I even do this when I can"t tell him anything? This is all so messed up."
"Well, does Drake coming back change anything?"
With a bounce of my shoulders, I shake my head. "How can it? I mean, even if I could forgive him, it"s not like we could pick up where we left off. Drake and I were over the day he decided not to come back to me."
"Then don"t do anything. Just treat this like any other case and do your best not to let it get in the way. It"ll all work out, you"ll see," she says, reaching out and hugging me. "And if he contacts you, call me immediately, ok? I"ll see you tomorrow."
Nodding, I release her and step away, heading over to my car and waving as she drives past me, leaving me alone for the first moment since I found out about Drake. It takes every bit of strength I have in me not to break down and cry in the parking lot.
But I don"t. Somehow, I force my breathing steady and get the key in the ignition, driving home on autopilot, as my heart aches in my chest.
DEEP COVER: CASE 001.
BY LILLIANA ANDERSON.
005.
"You stayed," I comment, my happiness feeling slightly forced as I walk through the front door and find Gavin still waiting inside. In all the chaos of the last eighteen hours, I had wondered if he"d have the patience to wait for me until I got back.
"A promise is a promise," he smiles, putting aside his laptop and coming over to the door to greet me. "You look exhausted." He slides his arms around me, and I allow myself to relax and fall into his broad chest, finding comfort in his arms.
"I am exhausted," I agree, my voice m.u.f.fled against his chest as I feel the weight of the day slowly drain out of my body. For a while, he just holds me, gently stroking my hair in comfort, and I wonder if I could just close my eyes for long enough, I could force myself to forget that Drake has returned and that I"d been pulled back into active duty.
I could pretend that I still have my desk job and that my new relationship with the first man with the patience to break down my walls was still my life. My life. A life that had been crushed when Drake was reported dead. A life that I had fought long and hard to rebuild, and finally, just when I was beginning to find happiness again, I"ve been catapulted right back to the beginningwith Drake alive, working for the other side, while my side is trying to find him.
But it"s worse this time. Last time I wasn"t a part of the hunt, and this time I"m smack in the middle of it, partnered with my closest friend, and a man who doesn"t trust me. I know I"m being used as bait. I know they"re testing my allegiance. And I suppose they"re right to do so. After all, I didn"t tell them everything that happened with Drake. I didn"t tell them he"d kissed me...twice.
"Hey, you"re not crying are you?" Gavin asks, as he pulls away from me a little to peer down into my face, his blue eyes, filled with concern as he lifts my chin upward.
"No. I"m just a little overwhelmed."
"Can you talk about it?"
I shake my head slowly in response. "It"s cla.s.sified."
"Well, in that case," he starts, spinning me by the shoulders as he works his fingers into the tight muscles of my neck and shoulders. "How about you go relax in the tub while I make you some food. I"ll even bring you a gla.s.s of wine. How does that sound?"
"Like heaven," I moan, leaning into his skilful fingers as he walks me toward the bathroom and twists the water on.
He presses a kiss to my forehead. "I"d love to undress you, but I"m pretty sure you"re too tired for what your naked self does to me. So I"ll let you sort that out and go grab you that wine."
"What did I do to deserve someone like you?" I ask, his kindness, helping me push the thoughts of Drake to the side and producing the first real smile from me all day.
"Just lucky, I guess," he replies with a wink, before disappearing from the bathroom and leaving me alone.
I add a healthy dose of vanilla scented bubbles into the steady jet of water that flows out of the chrome faucet into the taupe coloured tub. I remove my clothing and slide into the warm water, loving the relaxing warmth that curls around my body.
I close my eyes, resting my head against a rolled up towel as I will my body and mind to relax and keep any thoughts of my job and Drake at bay. I focus on Gavin, and how good he"s been to me since we started dating. As much as I wanted to be on my own to think when I arrived home, having the comfort of him turned out to be so much better. It"s nice distraction from my thoughts, keeping me in this nice delusion where everything in my life is still the way it was eighteen hours ago, for just a little longer.
Gavin re-enters the bathroom with a gla.s.s of wine and a stool for me to rest it on. "Thank you," I say as he places it next to me.
"My pleasure," he replies. "Operation relax Caitlin is in full effect. Check this out." He reaches into his pocket and produces an iPod which he docks on the bathroom counter. He switches on to the playlist I have t.i.tled, "The Calm", before moving about the bathroom and lighting all of my candles to create a peaceful glow in the room. "See, I"ve got a few tricks up my sleeve still."
The comment produces the image of Drake in my mind as he called me "Trix" earlier in that day. I find myself unable to respond to Gavin"s kindness.
He moves toward me and slides his hand over my hair sympathetically. "Are you sure you can"t talk about it?" I shake my head and smile in response, but I don"t have any words for him right now. I"m suddenly struggling not to cry. "Ok. I"ll let you know when dinner is ready," he says quietly, then once again, he leaves the room.
I force my mind to stay calm, to push out any thoughts of Drake and focus on this moment. I train my ears on the sounds of the rushing water as it finishes filling the tub, the noise reverberating loudly with the bathroom acoustics. It"s calming, and I once again, close my eyes, this time imagining there"s a waterfall in the middle of nowhere, pouring into a private swimming hole that"s surrounded by tall trees and beautiful flowers. Breathing in, I inhale the vanilla scent of the bubbles, imagining it"s the scent of the air in my own, private oasis.
The visualisation becomes clearer and I wonder if I"m now dreaming. I can actually see the sand and the plants around me, and feel the sand between my toes. Suddenly, I"m smiling, floating in the pool of water, my body bobbing up and down as it balances on the surface. From beneath me, a strong set of arms slide around me, cradling me against a rock hard body. My arms slip around his neck, and my lips part, ready for his mouth on mine. The mouth presses down hard, hungrily taking me like he"s a man starved, and I open my eyes, expecting to see Gavin but finding myself with my arms wrapped around Drake.
My eyes pop open, and I"m brought back to the reality of my bathroom where the tub is now full. I thank the heavens I insisted on getting a tub with an overflow drain. Sitting up, I reach out for the taps and turn the water off, lifting my hand to my touch my lips and as I do, the memory of Drake"s kiss before he escaped forces itself to the front of my mind, and forces me to recognise how it made me feel . . .
A longing I"d hoped to never feel again washes over me as the emotion I"ve been fighting all day finally makes it"s way out of my body. Not one to cry openly, I immediately take a deep breath and slide my body down until my face is covered by the water to cover my tears and get a hold of my focus.
Drake. Why the h.e.l.l did he need to come back now? And what was the purpose of getting captured if he was just going to see me and then escape anyway? Surely, if he just wanted to see me, he could have visited me quietly, before I was under surveillance, and told me everything he needed to. What was the point of the elaborate escape?
And why, why did he have to kiss me? I"ve spent so many years angry at him for leaving, and I was devastated at a death that never even happened. And finally, finally, I felt I was over him enough to move into some sort of a relationship with Gavin...
Gavin. I need to focus on Gavin.
Gavin. The night I met him, Gabby had dragged me out for drinks. It had been over a year since Drake had been gone and I"d developed a penchant for spending all of my free time in front of the television in a pair of leggings and one of Drake"s old t-shirts.
Before his loss, I had been quite outgoing and had a lot of friends within the agency who I went out with to let off a bit of steam. But once he flipped, the trust was gone and I was no longer invited out like I used to benot that I really cared, I wasn"t exactly feeling very social. Even so, Gabby was the only agent who didn"t hold Drake"s betrayal against me, if anything; it was the thing that made us closer. I confided in her about how his loss affected me and over the course of that first year, she became my best friend. Eventually, she decided that I"d moped around for long enough and forced me to dress up and go with her to a party with people who had nothing to do with the Federal Police. That"s where I met Gavin.
His interest was obvious to me during that first meeting. He was charming and friendly, and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. But at the time, Drake"s memory was still an open wound that I wasn"t sure would ever heal. I wasn"t ready for any type of relationship other than friends.
So, friends we became. Almost every time Gabby invited me out with her friends, he was there. We got along so well, and each time I saw him, we spent a lot of time talking and laughing. He made me smile. That"s what I liked most about him. He was kind. He was patient and he made me smile.
I don"t remember the exact moment that our friendship crossed that invisible line into a relationship, but it had been very gradual. Starting with a gentle touch, a hand rested on a leg, or on the small of my back. Then eventually, we kissed.
It wasn"t the same kind of soul searing kiss that I"d experienced the first time Drake and I had connected, but it was something special. It was real.
From there, we began to see each other without Gabby around, and then our relationship progressed into the bedroom where we"re more than compatible with each other. Once again, there isn"t that ridiculous pa.s.sion that I had with Drake, but we work well together, and have done so for several months.
I get a sense that Gavin wants more from me, but when you"ve had your heart ripped out of your chest like I have, you"re very careful about how much of yourself you share with another person. But as he always was, he"s patient and he"s understandingwhich is a rare find when you"re a woman in a government enforcement position. Most men aren"t okay with their girlfriends keeping secrets from them. But Gavin claims that it"s because he"s been friends with Gabby for so long. She"s never talked to him about her job either.
"Food"s ready," he says after gently knocking on the door, interrupting my thoughts at the perfect time. I smile, reaching a hand out to him.
"How about you take your clothes off and get in the bath with me first?" I ask suggestively. "I need a bit of help relaxing." I grin as I watch him strip rather quickly, his arousal growing as he slides into the bath with me and takes me in his arms. "I"m glad you waited for me," I whisper, dipping my head to kiss him between his pecs.
He lifts my head, pulling so my mouth meets his, and he takes me in a hungry kiss, his tongue sliding over mine as I let out a light groan, filled with a sense of need.
I shift in the tub, straddling my thighs either side of him as I rub my core over his now rock hard c.o.c.k, my b.r.e.a.s.t.s pushing against his chest, stimulating my nipples as we deepen the kiss, igniting my desire.
His hands slide down, gripping my a.r.s.e and holding me steady as I shift my hips to take him inside.
"We don"t have protection in here," he murmurs, and my body lets out a desperate pang of yearning at the loss of his mouth on mine.
"I"m on the pill," I remind him. "I just want to feel you. You and nothing else," I whisper, shifting my hips so his tip sits just at my entrance. "Just you," I whisper again, focusing all of my attention on the man beneath me, and how he makes me feel.
Threading his hands into my damp brunette curls, he pulls my mouth to his again, kissing me hungrily as he drives upward and inside me. I gasp, grinding myself against him as his long, thick length fills me up.