Addy released the breath she"d been holding, then reached out to cover Nick"s hand that held her chin so firmly. "Did you love her?"
"Look, Addy, what happened between Dina and me was so long ago that it has no bearing on the here and now. On the two of us." He didn"t think Addy would understand if he admitted the truth. How could he explain to her that there was more than one kind of love, and that what he"d felt for Dina had been the absolutely worst kinda"the most destructive kind?
"She thinks you compare every woman to her, that she"s still the woman you want."
Nick flung off Addy"s hand and released her chin. He jumped up off the bed, knocking Addy over in the process. She gazed up at him. "If I wanted Dina, I could have had her a thousand times over." The truth of his words rang in his ears like a dozen clanking bells. There hadn"t been a time in the past twenty-odd years that he couldn"t have bedded Dina. Between husbands or even during her marriages. She had no conception of the word "fidelity," and in other women, it didn"t matter. But in the woman he loved, it was of paramount importance. He"d spent his entire life seeking a replacement for Dina, when in his heart he"d known she was his for the taking. He didn"t want her. And he sure as h.e.l.l didn"t love her.
Pushing herself up with her elbows, Addy sat in the middle of Nick"s bed. "I want to trust you completely a in every way, buta"but I"m not prepared to take that kind of risk unless I can be sure of you."
"Sure of me how?" He glared at her, his big bronze body towering over her.
Addy had never wanted to touch a man the way she wanted to touch Nick. He was so utterly masculine that the very sight of him took her breath away. "If you want me, you"re going to have to earn the right to make love to me."
"I"m going to what?"
"I want to be sure that I"m important to you, that you really care about me, that your desire for me is real."
Nick grabbed her hand, shoved it against his arousal and held it there. "That"s real, Addy, as real as it gets."
She felt the throbbing evidence of his desire, and the shocking realization that she had evoked such a strong response in him tempted her almost beyond reason. Almost, but not quite. "Gerald could get hard, and he could ram himself into me, but he didn"t care anything about me. I didn"t mean anything to him but a way to get Daddy"s money. When I give myself to a man again I don"t want to have any doubts that I"m all he wants, all he cares about, above and beyond anyone or anything else."
Nick dropped his hand. Addy"s hand slid down the front of Nick"s shorts, her fingers caressing him. He groaned. "How the h.e.l.l do I prove something like that to you?"
Addy walked toward the open door. "I don"t know, but I"m sure you"ll find a way."
With that said, she left. Nick stood, watching her as she disappeared into the hallway. d.a.m.ned stubborn woman. She was asking too much of him. There was no way he could prove himself to her, was there? She was asking for the kind of love that didn"t exista"not in his world.
h.e.l.l, he"d never had to prove himself to a woman. If she thought that he"d ever come to her begging, then she"d better think again.
Nick fell into the bed, his hot, aroused body pulsating painfully with a need that he knew only one woman on earth could appease. And that woman had just told him that if he ever wanted to find release between her long silky legs, he"d have to earn the right to make love to her.
Chapter 7.
Hot June sunshine played hide-and-seek with gray, midmorning rain clouds, creating a hazy, overcast daylight. Standing at her kitchen window, Addy watched the warm breeze floating through the trees and shrubs in her backyard, swaying the tops of the red azaleas and teasing the clematis vine clinging to the wooden fence. Everything looked the same as it had for the past few years since she"d purchased the house in Twickenham, since she had begun a new life, totally on her own. She had grown to love the sameness, the routine pattern of peacefulness, and, above all else, she had learned to appreciate her independence.
But things were not the same. An unknown person"s threats had changed her life, throwing her cherished order into chaos, reverting her father back into the overprotective parent he"d once been, and utterly destroying her hard-won privacy and independence.
Addy placed the last lunch plate into the dishwasher, then wiped her hands and laid the towel on the counter. Glancing out onto the rock patio behind her house, Addy saw Nick Romero, his broad back facing her, as he sat drinking a tall gla.s.s of iced tea. As much as the menacing kidnapper, Nick had altered the course of Addy"s life, his very presence a disturbing force she found difficult to handle. More than anything she wanted to believe that his interest in her was genuine, that he truly desired her as a woman and not as the heir to a fortune. If she allowed her romantic nature to override her common sense, she would give herself to Nick, heart and soul. Already, she fantasized about him, seeing him as her knight in shining armor, the man who would cherish her and protect her a forever. But Addy had learned to control the romantic girl within, giving her realistic self the upper hand. Trusting her life to Nick was easier than trusting her own heart.
The portable phone sitting outside on the patio table rang, jarring Addy out of her thoughts. Opening the door, she stepped outside just as Nick answered.
"Hold a minute, I"ll get her," he said, then shoved the chair back and stood.
Before he could turn around, Addy walked over to him. "Is that for me?"
Nick gave her a long, hard look, then handed her the telephone. "It"s Jim Hester."
Addy returned Nick"s scrutiny as she accepted the phone. "h.e.l.lo, Jim." Addy walked around the patio, savoring the feel of the warm sun and the pleasant breeze.
"I just wanted to check on you before I leave for Washington," Jim said. "I need to know that you"re all right."
"I"m fine. Honestly."
"Addy?"
She could tell by the unusual edge to his voice that something was bothering him. "What is it, Jim? What"s wrong?"
"Well, Ia"I thought you should hear it from me."
"What?" She had never known Jim Hester to be so mysterious.
"I"m taking Tiffany with me on this trip, and a I"m taking Carol Stilwell with me."
Addy could hear Jim"s deep breathing, could feel the utter stillness. "You"re taking your sister-in-law?"
"Yes, wella""
"It"s all right, Jim." Addy walked farther away from Nick, knowing he was listening to her every word. "If you"re trying to tell me that you and Carol area"are involved, I understand."
"I just didn"t want you to think that I"d been leading you on and fooling around with Carol at the same time." Jim"s voice sounded strained, pleading. "I guess I"ve always known that nothing would ever come of our friendship. And since Romero showed upa Wella"I need someone, Addy, and so does Tiffany."
"Of course you do, and believe me, I understand. Good luck, Jim. Ia"I hope everything works out for you and Carol."
They said their goodbyes. Addy punched the off b.u.t.ton. Nick came up behind her, leaning over to take the phone out of her hand.
"You didn"t want Jim Hester, despite the fact that he"s a nice guy. You wanted to be a mother to his daughter."
She would have preferred not to discuss that situation with Nick, even though it was obvious that he"d overheard every word of her conversation and had jumped to the correct conclusion. As foolish as the notion seemed, Addy couldn"t help feeling like she"d been dumped. "I thought you didn"t like Jim."
"I changed my mind about Hester. I wanted to dislike him, but I couldn"t. He"s all right, Addy, but he"s not the man for you." Nick tossed the phone into a cushioned lounge chair.
Addy fiddled with the drawstring on her yellow walking shorts. "Let me get this straight. You"ve warned me off Brett Windsor because he"s only interested in my money and you think Jim was the wrong man for me because all I wanted from that relationship was to be a mother to Tiffany."
"That about sums it up."
"I"m surprised you aren"t telling me that you"re the right man for me. Now would be the perfect time, wouldn"t it?" Addy couldn"t bring herself to face Nick. Somehow she knew he was smiling, that self-a.s.sured, macho smile.
"I am the right man for you, and we both know it."
"You"re wrong, all wrong." She turned, forcing herself to look at him, determined to remain in control. "What you want is another conquest. You wanta""
"I want you." Nick focused all his attention on Addy, his dark eyes reaching out, pulling her to him, mesmerizing her by their look of heated desire. "I don"t want another woman, and I couldn"t care less about Rusty"s millions. All I want is you. Your body, your mind, your heart. Everything that makes you Addy."
When Nick reached out and took her hand, she jerked away from his touch as if he"d hurt her. "Don"t do this to me. I can"t handle it."
She ran from him, her bare feet racing over the warm flagstones. Nick didn"t follow her immediately. Running his fingers through his thick black hair, he cursed himself for a fool. He couldn"t seem to get it right with Addy. With other women he"d always been the smooth Romeo, who knew exactly what to say and do. With Addy it was different. She was different. The woman was driving him crazy. She wanted him to prove himself to her, and he had no earthly idea how to go about doing it.
He gave her five minutes alonea"four minutes more than he wanted to give her. He found her in the den, staring out the window. She"d wrapped her arms around herself. Her shoulders drooped in defeat.
"Addy?"
Her body stiffened, but she didn"t turn around or reply. He walked over to her. More than anything he wanted to pull her into his arms. He didn"t dare. At this precise moment she"d fight him like a wildcat. Addy was a woman who needed persuasion, and he was d.a.m.ned and determined that he was going to be the man to persuade her.
"Come on and sit down," Nick said, his big hand hovering over her shoulder. It was all he could do to keep from touching her. "Why don"t we just sit and talk for a while?"
"I don"t want to talk to you." Addy kept her back to him. "I want you to leave me alone."
"Were you this stubborn as a little girl? If you were, Rusty must have had his hands full raising you."
Some of the tension drained from her body. It wasn"t a visible thing, yet Nick sensed it. He lowered his right hand to her shoulder, making sure his touch was light and non-threatening.
Addy felt the warmth of his touch through her blouse. His hand was big and hard and strong, yet his grip on her shoulder was unbearably tender. Hating herself for enjoying the feel of his hand on her body, she refused to look at him. She didn"t trust herself to remain in control if his eyes were still filled with desire.
"I"ll never lie to you." Nick balanced his cane against the wall, then placed his left hand on her other shoulder, turning her around toward him. "I"m not looking for love and marriage and I"m not making you any forever-after promises."
Addy glanced down at the Sarouk rug beneath her bare feet. Her vision focused on the intricate gold, rust and blue pattern. "Whata"what can you give me, Nick, in return for my blind faith in you?"
He reached out, slipping his fist beneath Addy"s chin. "I can give you pa.s.sion and fulfillment. I can make you glad that you"re a woman."
She was tempted, so very tempted. But men said whatever they thought necessary to get what they wanted. They sought out your weaknesses and used them against you. Men did that sort of thing. Gerald had.
He tilted her chin upward, forcing her to face him. Her eyes widened with a mixture of anger and embarra.s.sment. Every word he said was true, but how could he make her believe him? "Addy?"
"I"m not going to sleep with you, so you might as well give up on me. Ia"I don"t like s.e.x, and I refuse to become one more in a long line of women who"ve shared your bed."
Releasing her chin, Nick stepped away from her, but didn"t break eye contact. "You didn"t like s.e.x with Gerald. That doesn"t mean you won"t like s.e.x with me."
"You are, without a doubt, the most egotistical man I"ve ever known. I"m no good at s.e.x, and not even a Latin stud like you can change what"s lacking in me. I"d disappoint you, Nick, so why don"t you stop pursuing me and put us both out of our misery?"
"The only thing that"s going to put us out of our misery is making love. I"ve just got to figure out a way to prove myself to you." Walking over to the stereo unit hidden inside the huge oak cupboard, Nick checked through Addy"s tape and disk collection. "Don"t you have anything except cla.s.sical and semi-cla.s.sical stuff?" He held up a tape. "Well, what have we here? It"s not exactly Ricky Van Shelton, but it"s not Beethoven either."
Addy couldn"t stop looking at him, puzzled by the sudden change in his conversation from something extremely personal to something totally insignificant. What was he trying to do, throw her off guard?
Nick inserted the tape in the player, then leaning heavily on his cane, walked over and sat down on the sofa, tossing several pillows onto a nearby round table. Suddenly the sound of soft, romantic music permeated the room. The mixed voices of men and women sang "Close to You." Nick patted the sofa. "Come sit down and we"ll talk."
Addy gave him a wary stare. "I don"t trust you."
"Yes, you do. It"s yourself you don"t trust."
Addy moved toward Nick, slowly, cautiously, intent on proving him wrong. A show of bravado was called for here. She wasn"t a silly young woman eager to believe a man"s sweet lies. She was a woman who"d gone through her trial of fire, and she could handle anything, including the likes of Nick Romero.
Addy sat down, making sure she was as far from Nick as she could possibly get while sharing the same small sofa with him. "I don"t want to talk about s.e.x."
"Fine. Let"s talk about Addy McConnell when she was a little girl." Nick scooted several inches toward her, then propped his big feet on a tiny needlepoint footstool. "What did you do for fun?"
"Ia"I took riding lessons, swimming lessons, tennis lessons, piano lessonsa""
"Whoa, Red! I asked what you did for fun. Lessons aren"t fun."
"I enjoyed my lessons, even if there were never any other children around a only my bodyguards." Addy shifted nervously when Nick draped his arm across the back of the sofa.
An entirely instrumental rendition of the "Gone with the Wind" theme filled the room. Addy sighed. Nick smiled.
"You really were a poor little rich girl, weren"t you? An overprotected, pampered Southern belle in a golden cage. Didn"t you ever spend any time with other kids?"
"No. Only when Janice was allowed to visit and when Daddy gave me my yearly birthday party." Addy remembered those precious visits with Janice, who had become her dearest frienda"her only friend. And the parties had been like dreams fulfilled when the children of M.A.C. employees were brought out to the mansion to celebrate her birthday.
"What about school?" Nick inched closer to Addy. She didn"t seem to notice.
"I had private tutors. Public school was never considered, and Daddy thought private schools weren"t safe."
"Are you saying that you never did anything just for fun? Spontaneous things? Crazy things?"
"Everything I did had to be supervised, otherwise it was unsafe. Ia"I did have privacy in my room. I learned to escape into books. They became my friends." It had been in those books that she had become a part of the fantasies, the romantic legends, the tales of knights and their ladies. As a child she had first read of Charlemagne and his twelve paladinsa"the douze pairs who were his bodyguards and companions.
When Nick eased his arm around her shoulders, she started to pull away, but realized that she didn"t want to leave the warm comfort of his embrace.
"There was a world of difference in our childhoods. n.o.body ever watched over me. The only person who even cared where I was or what I was doing was my grandmother. My father was a field hand who was either working or boozing it up. He finally drank himself to death." Nick tightened his hold on Addy when she snuggled against him, bending her knees as she lifted her feet onto the sofa.
"What about your mother?" Addy asked.
"My mother." Nick grunted. How could he possibly explain a woman like Kitty Romero to Addy? "My mother liked men. All men. While my father drank, she wh.o.r.ed around. She left us, my brother Miguel and me, when I was ten."
"Oh, Nick, I know how difficult it is to lose a mother."
"Red, losing my mother was a G.o.dsend. She was nothing but white trash. My grandmother was the only mother we ever really knew. Kitty did us a big favor by leaving."
Addy could hear the pain in Nick"s voice, the anger he tried so hard to deny. When she laid her head on his shoulder, she felt him stiffen and then relax. "My mother committed suicide when I was ten. Shea"she had a nervous breakdown after Donnie a when Donnie was murdered."
"I didn"t intend for us to talk about gloomy subjects." He loved the feel of her so close to him, her head resting against him, her whole body snuggling to him with such trust.
"Then maybe we shouldn"t talk about our childhoods."
"Mine wasn"t all bad," he said, reaching down to take her hand in his, holding it palm up. "Miguel and I were close, and we had a lot of fun together. He was five years older, but he never tried to brush me off so he could run with the older guys. He took me everywhere with him." Suddenly, Nick"s whole body tightened, his face rigid. "d.a.m.n!"
"What"s wrong?" She gazed up into his face and almost cried at the sorrow she saw in his dark eyes.
"I can"t seem to steer clear of gloom and doom." When she stared at him questioningly, he said, "Miguel was killed in an oil rig accident when I was seventeen. G.o.d, I thought I"d die when we lost him!"
"Hea"Miguel was married to Dina."
"Yeah." Nick squeezed her hand, then released it and withdrew his arm from around her shoulders. He looked at her, sensing the waves of sympathy flowing from her, washing over him. He grabbed her face in his big hands, cradling her gently. "Tell me about your birthday parties, Red. I never had a birthday party in my whole life."