“She’s on all the big networks,” Cooper said. He tried ESPN, only to find the same thing. “Holy s.h.i.t, dude — she’s on all the channels.”
“She’s a stinky, hate-filled, nasty—”
“Hold on a sec,” Cooper said. “This has to be something big.”
Jeff propped himself up on one elbow to watch.
“I already feel like a bag of a.s.sholes,” he said. “And now this? I hope it’s not another Detroit. Hey, Coop, you feel sick?”
Cooper gestured to the pile of Kleenex on the little lampstand next to his bed. “Yeah. I do.” He pressed the “volume” b.u.t.ton.
“… an unprecedented threat upon our great nation, and one that requires unprecedented action. My fellow Americans, we are mobilizing a swift and thorough response. I am in constant contact with the world’s leaders. Every nation on earth is working together to win this battle.”
The camera angle shifted, panning across a half-bowl of applauding politicians. Was that Congress? Cooper could never remember if that was the House, the Senate, or if they all met in some special room for things like this. What he did know was all the politicians looked the same: rich f.u.c.kers who raped the system, the only differences between them being ties and dresses of red or blue.
A news ticker ran across the bottom of the screen:
… INFECTIOUS AGENT THAT RESULTED IN THE DETROIT DISASTER IDENTIFIED … SCIENTISTS HAVE DISCOVERED WAY TO INOCULATE AGAINST THE INFECTION … PRESIDENT BLACKMON CLAIMS “DISEASE WILL BE WIPED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH” …
“Holy s.h.i.t,” Cooper said. “It is another Detroit.”
Jeff flopped his head back into the pillow. “Told ya. Holler if they say Chicago — otherwise, I don’t give a s.h.i.t. I’m going back to sleep. I feel like I got face-f.u.c.ked by a rabid buffalo.”
The applause died down. Blackmon continued.
“Even as I speak to you now, factories all over America are collaborating in the largest unified manufacturing initiative since World War II. Distributors, shipping companies and grocery store chains are all cooperating with FEMA to bring you the medicine that will keep you safe. Over five hundred corporate sponsors have signed up to fund this initiative. More join the cause every hour. We are faced with a challenge to not only our country, but to every person on our planet. With G.o.d’s help, America is taking the lead to protect the human race.”
The audience cheered again, louder this time. At least some of them did. Cooper didn’t follow politics, but it looked like only the Republicans were standing. The still-seated Democrats applauded politely.
Cooper looked at Jeff. “Protect the human race? Is this even bigger than Detroit?”
Jeff shrugged. He didn’t seem to notice the yellow bit of snot dangling from his nose.
The applause faded. Politicians sat back down. Blackmon continued.
“I can’t stress this enough,” she said. “The surgeon general and the Centers for Disease Control urge you to cooperate with local distribution centers to get the treatment. The emergency broadcast system will be transmitting delivery days and locations. There will be enough for everyone. Until you receive your medication, limit contact with others and stay indoors as much as possible.”
Blackmon made a fist and banged it once on the podium. “All the naysayers who claimed that American manufacturing was dead are about to see how wrong they were. Other nations are following our lead, producing their own medicine, and what they are producing began here. American ingenuity is gone? I … don’t … think so.”
The Republicans stood. They roared their approval. Some of the Democrats begrudgingly stood as well.
Jeff let out a huff. “So the world is in danger, and she turns it into a campaign speech. This from a woman who doesn’t want universal health care? Whatever.”
Blackmon held up both hands, gave the crowd her trademark half-smile. She looked confident and excited, but not too much of either. The applause died down again.
“Let me say I do not fault my predecessor, or his party, for allowing things to come to this point,” she said. “These are exceptional times not only in the history of our nation, but also of the world. Together, we will forever end the greatest threat the planet Earth has ever faced.”
“Man, she’s good,” Cooper said. “Something new is happening and she still manages to imply that Gutierrez opened up Pandora’s box in the first place.”
“She’s been president for two years,” Jeff said. “Whatever happens now is on her.”
“Yeah, right. Four years into Gutierrez’s term, you were still blaming his Republican predecessor for the c.r.a.ppy economy. Give me a break, Jeff — with you, the Republicans are always at fault and the Democrats never do anything wrong.”
Jeff raised a hand, gave a thumbs-up. “Now you’re understanding how things work, bro. Turn that thing off.”
Turn it off? There was some kind of world-shaking s.h.i.t going down, and Jeff wanted to nap?
On the TV, Blackmon grew more serious. More solemn. “Now, I must show you some very disturbing footage. This footage underscores the reason we must all work together in this inoculation effort. This is footage from—”
“Coop!”
Cooper jumped; Jeff had screamed the word. Cooper turned.
Jeff propped himself up on one elbow. “I told you to turn it off. You trying to f.u.c.k with me or something?”