"I guess now yuh never was married, was yuh, Scotty?"
"Me married! Well, I guess not! Come mighty close to it once. I must "a" been crazy or drunk, or somethin"--anyway, when I was a young feller over east in Macpherson, Kansas, me an" Sue Shimmers had it all fixed for hitchin" up together. Nice girl, Sue was. Good cook, a heap energetic, an" right pretty in the face. The day before the weddin"
Sue cuts stick an" elopes with Tug Wilson, the blacksmith.
"I felt bad for mighty nigh a week, but I"ve been a heap joyous ever since. Yes, sir, Sue developed a lot after marriage. Why, if Tug took so much as one finger of old Jordan Sue"d wallop him with a axe-handle.
Poor old Tug used to chew up so many cloves he got dyspepsy. Between the axe-handle an" the dyspepsy Tug had all he could swing to keep alive. I"ve never stopped bein" grateful to Tug Wilson. He saved my life. Yes, sir, as a rule, females is bad medicine."
"How about Mis" Burr an" her daughter?"
"I said as a general rule. Like I told yuh once before, Mis" Burr an"
Dorothy are real ladies, all silk an" several yards wide. A gent can talk to them just like folks. An" Dorothy can have my ranch an" every cayuse on it, includin" my mules, any time she wants. Nothin"s too good for that little girl."
"She"s sh.o.r.e a winner."
"She"s all o" that. Now there"s a girl that"ll make a ace-high wife.
She wouldn"t use no axe-handle. She"d understand a gent"s failin"s, she would, an" she"d break him off "em so nice an" easy he wouldn"t know nothin" about it. Yes, sir, the party that gets Dorothy Burr needn"t worry none "bout bein" happy."
"I guess now there ain"t no party real sh.o.r.e-enough fit to make her a husband."
"There ain"t. No, sir, yuh can bet there ain"t. But she"ll marry some no-account tinhorn--them kind always does. Say, why don"t you make up to her?"
"Well, I would," said Loudon, gravely, "only yuh see it wouldn"t be proper. I ain"t a no-account tinhorn."
"You ain"t, but O"Leary is."
"It ain"t gone as far as that!"
"Yuh never can tell how far anythin"s gone with a woman. Yuh never can tell nothin" about her till it happens. She"s a heap unexpected, a female is. Now I don"t say as Dorothy"d marry yuh, Tom. Yuh may not be her kind o" feller at all. But yo"re a sight better"n Pete O"Leary."
"Thanks," said Loudon, dryly.
"Then again," rushed on Scotty, deeply engrossed in his subject, "it ain"t noways necessary for yuh to marry her. All yuh got to do is give O"Leary the run. Chase him off--see? I"ve been thinkin" some serious o" doin" it myself, but I"d have to beef him, an" that wouldn"t suit Dorothy. A lady don"t like it none to have her admirers shot up. It only makes her more set to have "em. But you, Tom, could go about it in a nice, refined way, an" get Dorothy to likin" yuh better"n she does O"Leary, an" there yuh are. No blood"s spilt, an" the lady is saved."
"But s"pose she didn"t cotton to me for a cent?"
"Yuh got to risk that, o" course. But you can win out over O"Leary, I"ll gamble on that."
"But why am I elected? Why me at all?"
"Well, say, yuh"d ought to be ashamed o" yoreself, raisin" objections thisaway. Here I am, tryin" to help out as nice a little girl as ever breathed, an" yuh got to kick. Selfish, I call it. Can"t yuh see I"m tryin" to do you a good turn, too? There"s grat.i.tude for yuh! Well, it"s like I always said: Old folks is never appreciated, no matter what they do. Yes, sir, I might "a" saved my breath. Dorothy, she talked just like you do, only worse."
"What--why, you ain"t been talkin" about this to Dor--Miss Burr, have yuh?" demanded Loudon in horror.
"Why, sh.o.r.e I did," said Scotty, placidly. "I feel like a father to her, so why not? I didn"t say much. I just told her O"Leary was a pup an" a sheepman an" not fit for her to wipe her feet on, an" why didn"t she take a shine to some other gent for a change? She says, "Who, for instance?" An" I says, "Tom Loudon," an" that"s as far as I got. She goes up in the air like a pony, instanter."
"Which I should say she might. You had yore nerve, ringin" me into it!
Ain"t yuh got no sense at all?"
"Lots. Yo"re the witless one. If yuh had any brains yuh"d take my advice."
"I can"t now, even if I wanted to."
"Sh.o.r.e yuh can. She spoke to yuh all right this aft"noon, didn"t she?"
"Yes, but----"
"Well, I"d given her my opinion o" things just about twenty minutes before yuh met me at the corral. So, yuh see, she wasn"t mad at you.
She wasn"t really mad at me. I seen the twinkle in her eye all the time she was givin" me fits. Why, look here, Tom, when she says, "Who, for instance?" I couldn"t think o" n.o.body but you. It was impulse, it was, an" impulses are always right. Wouldn"t be impulses if they wasn"t.
"So there y"are. Yuh don"t have to marry each other if yuh don"t want to. Sh.o.r.e not. But yuh"d ought to give each other a whirl anyway.
Yuh might hit it off amazin". I"m bettin" yuh will, I don"t care what either o" yuh say."
Loudon, divided between anger and horrified amazement, was speechless.
Scotty Mackenzie was more than astounding. He was hopelessly impossible.
"Well," remarked Loudon, when he was able to speak, "yuh sure are three kings an" an ace when it comes to other people"s business. Some day, Scotty, yuh"ll go bulgin" into the affairs o" some party who don"t understand yore funny little ways, an" he"ll hang yore hide on the fence."
"I s"pose likely," said Scotty, glumly. "It sh.o.r.e is a ungrateful world. But," he added, brightening, "yuh"ll do what I say, won"t yuh, Tom? I tell yuh I know best. I"ve sort o" cottoned to yuh ever since I found out who yuh was an" all, an" I always did like Dorothy Burr.
Here"s you, an" there she is. Why, it"s Providence, Tom, Providence; an" n.o.body has a right to fly in the face o" Providence. Yuh won"t never have no luck if yuh do. I ask yuh like a friend, Tom--an" I hadn"t ought to have to ask yuh, not with such a good-looker as Dorothy--I ask yuh like a friend to go see this little girl, an"----"
"An" prove yo"re right," interrupted Loudon.
"Well, yes. Though I know I"m right, an" I tell yuh plain if you two don"t hook up for keeps yuh"ll be sorry. Yes, sir, yuh will. Now don"t say nothin", Tom. Just think it over, an" if yuh want any help come to me."
"Yuh make me sick. Yuh sh.o.r.e do."
"Think it over. Think it over."
"Think nothin" over! I ain"t in love with Miss Burr, an" I ain"t a-goin" to be. Yuh can gamble on that, old-timer. As a woman-wrangler I"m a good hoss an" cowman, an" hereafter from now on I"m a-stickin" to what I know best."
Loudon relapsed into sulky silence. Yet for the life of him he could not be wholly angry with Scotty Mackenzie. No one could. Scotty was Scotty, and, where another man would have been shot, Scotty went scatheless.
"Slick!" said Scotty, ten minutes after arriving at the Flying M; "Slick, I guess yes. The feller that wrote that letter knowed my writin" better"n I do myself. Don"t blame yuh a mite, Doubleday, for bein" fooled. Don"t blame yuh a mite.
"I"ll fix this trick for good and all. Hereafter I don"t write no more letters to yuh, see? Then if our forgin" brother takes his pen in hand again it won"t do him no good.... What? No, I"m too sleepy. You go down an" ask Loudon. He was the centre o" curiosity, an" he knows more about that riot at the Bend than I do."
When Doubleday had gone Scotty Mackenzie did not act like a person overcome by sleep. He lit a cigarette, slid down in his chair, and put his feet on the desk.
"Yo"re a great man, Scotty," he chuckled. "Yes, sir, I dunno as I ever seen yore like. I didn"t know yuh was such a deeplomat. No, sir, I sh.o.r.e didn"t."
But Mr. Mackenzie did not realize that Loudon in his statements regarding possible affection for Miss Dorothy Burr meant exactly what he said.
On the corral fence Loudon sat with Telescope Laguerre and related his adventures. The half-breed hearkened sympathetically. Occasionally he removed the cigarette from his lips in order to swear.
"And," said Loudon in conclusion, "I"m goin" south after the little hoss in two or three weeks."
"Queet?"