We need a plan," I said.
"We are having far too many of those lately for my tastes," Jack said. "I vote Molotov c.o.c.ktails. That one was fun."
"Much as I like lighting things on fire"-which I kind of had, more than I thought I would-"the goal here is to get everyone out safe. Not to blow them up."
Jack spun a b.u.t.ter knife around and around on the counter. "See, the problem with this isn"t going to be the faeries. They probably won"t be expecting anything because they can"t imagine anyone being cleverer than them. The problem is going to be the people."
"Why?" Lend asked.
"They aren"t going to want to be rescued. They don"t even know they need to be."
"It"s true," I said, frowning. "They looked super happy. All of them. Even the ones in the dance, but I"ll have Reth send other Seelies after them." I shuddered, curling my toes. My feet still hurt, but with the faerie soul in me, it was more like an annoying fly buzzing in the next room. I noticed it, but it didn"t affect me. "With everyone else, it"s part of the faerie magic-when they kidnap you, you want them to." I would have happily gone with Reth back when he first started paying attention to me. It would have been a dream come true. I shuddered.
"And once you"re there," Jack added, "it takes over everything. You lose who you were before. It kind of floats away from you until you can"t remember and don"t care."
"How did you keep ahold of yourself?" I asked Jack. "I mean, you"re not exactly blissed out over faeries. What was different?"
He started tapping the knife on the granite counter, a plinking beat. "I dunno."
"There has to be something. Think."
He shifted uncomfortably, the beat going faster until it was a staccato nightmare. "I think...I think it was my name."
"That makes sense-repeating my name to myself is how I kept from going under the Dark Queen"s influence. But why won"t the others know their names?"
"I-" Lend reached out and s.n.a.t.c.hed the knife away from Jack, who glared at him but kept talking. "It"s one of the first things most people lose. Because no one ever uses it, and the faeries don"t care-they call you other things, give you a new name, and it sort of leeches your old one away along with all your memories. The faeries are very, very good at taking everything."
His big blue eyes looked haunted as he stared blankly at the countertop. I put my hand on top of his. "But how did you keep yours?"
He blinked quickly. "A song. It"s the only thing I remember from before. I think my mom sang it to me; just this silly, story song about Jack the Clever Boy." He paused, then in a soft voice started singing, "Jack is clever, Jack is strong, Jack is Mommy"s favorite song. Jack is sweet and Jack is good, loves his mother like he should. Jack is precious, Jack is mine, knows I love him all the time." His voice broke toward the end and he cleared his throat. "Umm, yeah. Like that. I don"t remember anything else about her or my life before, but she must have sung that song to me a million times, because even in the Faerie Realms I could always hear the tune and remember the words. So I never lost my name. Then as I got older I figured out the longer I could stay away from faeries, the more I got myself back, could make my own decisions."
Even Lend looked sympathetic. How could we blame Jack for all his crazy when this was all he"d ever known, when even holding on to himself was an epic struggle?
"Okay." Lend leaned back and ran his hands through his hair the same way his dad often did. "So all we have to do is figure out the names of the hundreds of people there?"
"Yeah, that"s not going to happen. The only name I know is Carlee"s."
"I liked her." Jack"s voice was almost wistful. "When she smiled, you always knew she meant it. I hope she"s still herself."
"We"ll get her back." Lend put his hand on my shoulder. I leaned my head against his skin, trying to figure out some way, any way we could make the name thing work. Jack, who apparently always had to be moving in some way, had made up for the missing knife by grabbing a half loaf of French bread and methodically ripping it into tiny pieces.
"Wait," I said, narrowing my eyes. "Why don"t faeries like bread?"
"Hmm?" Jack looked up, then shrugged. "I dunno."
Lend picked up a piece, crumbling it. "My dad said he thought it was because it was the staff of life for people."
"Nasty stuff tastes like mold," Jack said. "I tried a piece once a while ago when I was still trying to force myself to eat normal food so I could stay here. It was like a shock to my whole system." He shuddered at the memory.
I sat up, an idea forming. "We can"t take iron through the Faerie Paths. Do you think we could take bread?"
"Why?" Jack asked, wrinkling his nose.
"A shock! That"s what it felt like when we were stuck in the dance and Reth said my name. It was this huge jolt that got my mind off the track the faerie music had stuck it on. Maybe we can use bread to knock the people"s brains off their faerie high! Get them to start thinking clearly!"
Jack scratched his head, his blond curls sticking up at a funny angle. "You know, that might actually work." He grabbed a handful of crumbs and walked over to the wall, putting his free hand against it and concentrating. The light traced out a door and opened into black. We all held our breath as he took the hand with the bread and shoved it through. It didn"t stop dead like anything with iron would. He turned back to us, letting the door close, and grinned.
I jumped up, my hands in the air. "Yes!"
Lend laughed. "Okay, looks like I need to make a run to the grocery store. Do faeries hate wheat or white bread more, you think?"
"Get bread with raisins," I said. "Everyone hates raisins."
Jack was bouncing, obviously excited. "That"s all we need, right?"
"We need Reth."
"No," Lend and Jack whined in unison.
"Come on, you two. Reth knows the Faerie Realms better than you do. Jack, you didn"t see where the people were; it might take you a while to find them, and that"s time we can"t afford to lose. And Reth"s getting worse; being there might give him more time."
Lend scowled, grabbing the car keys off the counter. "Fine. But I"m really getting tired of his stupid smirk and prissy clothes."
Jack nodded. "And his voice that sounds like it"d even taste good. Really, it"s overkill. Best to have only a few absolutely perfect traits-for example, my hair and eyes and sparkling personality-so you don"t overwhelm."
"Aww, are you guys jealous of how pretty Reth is? That"s kind of adorable."
"You know I could look exactly like him," Lend said, frowning darkly.
"Please for the love of all that is good and holy, never, ever wear Reth. That"s the stuff of nightmares."
That brightened his face a bit and he left me with a lingering kiss and a promise to be back with every loaf of bread we could carry.
"Well, go find your stupid faerie boyfriend," Jack said, lying down on top of the counter and drumming his fingers on his stomach. "I haven"t filled my quota for p.i.s.sing off the Dark Court yet this week."
"We are going to blow your quota sky high."
He held up a hand and I high-fived him as I walked past and out of the house toward the trail. Yet again. I should have invested in a dirt bike or something given the amount of mileage I was getting out of the path between the house and the pond.
A jumbo white van pulled up into the driveway and people piled out of it. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously when I saw that they were all werewolves. If this was another attempt by Anne-Whatever Whatever to try and get me away from the protections here, I was going to let the dragon eat each and every one of them.
"Evie?"
I did a double take. "Charlotte?"
My former tutor ran forward and threw her arms around me, beaming. She still had the same warm brown hair and warm brown eyes over her yellow wolf eyes, but the lingering sadness that had always been on her face before we got her out of the Center and reunited her with her sister was entirely gone.
"What are you doing here?"
"We"re here to help David and Raquel. Some of us have scores to settle with IPCA." Her smile was still in place, but it had a hint of iron behind it. I squirmed a bit inside, knowing that because of IPCA"s old eugenics policies Charlotte would never be able to have kids.
I nodded. "I"m down with that. They"re inside in the office, I think."
"You coming with us?"
"Not this time. I"ve got a different errand to run."
"Okay." She reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear affectionately. "Be careful. I wouldn"t want anything to happen to the worst Spanish student in the history of the language."
I laughed. "No problemo."
By the time I found Reth, he was deep in discussion with the banshees, their discordant voices chiding him for something or other. I hated to pull him away from getting chewed out, but it had to be done. Another faerie, all spring and mint green, was with him. After briefly explaining about the location of the dancers, she left to retrieve them. I wanted to send Reth because I trusted him more, but he didn"t look good. I"d keep him with me so I could keep an eye on him. He wouldn"t ask for help-not from anyone-but I"d be there no matter what.
When we got back to the house, Lend was already there with several grocery bags full of bread. Reth turned his head away as though the very sight of it was distasteful. "Even the food of this world is nothing but decay."
Clearly he had never tried pizza, because honestly.
We linked hands-my ex-boyfriend, my boyfriend, and my former friend-then-enemy-then-friend and I-and walked through a door to see if maybe empty carbs were good for something after all.
BREAD BASKET CASES.
Okay, yeah, this is freaky." Lend"s eyes were wide as he looked around, drinking in the Faerie Realms in all their Technicolor glory. Down in the village, people bustled about, laughing and playing. The mood was like a holiday. Every day in faerie-glamoured happy land was a holiday, which made what we had to do even worse.
Reth stood straight, alert, then relaxed, his shoulders slumping. "There are no fey here at the moment. I suggest you hurry."
"What are we going to do with them once we wake them up?" Jack asked.
"Take them to a safe location protected by my queen, where we will have time to decide what to do next. Do you remember the meadow bordered by trees where you took Evelyn?"
Jack nodded.
"Sounds good to me." I shivered, though it wasn"t cold. It was the perfect temperature, lazily warm, the air sweet and gentle on my tongue. This place creeped me the bleep out.
Lend handed Jack and me a loaf of bread each. Reth turned away from it. He looked pale, with faint blue shadows under his eyes. "I shall be back shortly," he said, then took a step to the side, shimmered, and disappeared. I hoped he was going to do some sort of faerie healing thing. He wasn"t supposed to be weak. He was supposed to be scary and intimidating and beautiful.
"Keep your eyes out for Carlee," I said. My stomach tied in nervous knots as we walked down into the small, green valley. I didn"t know which I hoped for more-that we"d find her here or that we wouldn"t.
A small child skipped along a path ahead, stopping to smile when he noticed us. "h.e.l.lo! Are you new?"
Jack squatted down, smiling and reaching out to ruffle the boy"s head of thick brown hair. "Nope, been here for ages. Hey, I have something for you." He broke off a piece of bread and handed it to the child, who obediently put it in his mouth. His face went white with shock and then he gagged, spitting the bread out all over the ground. Huge tears rolled down his cheeks and he started wailing.
My impulse was to run forward and wrap him in a hug, but Jack beat me to it, pulling the kid in and standing up, cradling the sobbing boy to his shoulder. He patted his back soothingly, whispering words I couldn"t hear and didn"t think it was my place to.
I had chosen right with Jack.
He looked back at us, his eyes haunted but determined. "We"ve got a lot more to do. Come on."
Fortunately the kid"s wails had drawn a bit of a crowd, and people were gathering around us. Their clothes were simple and beautiful, all in creams and greens and browns. Each of them looked concerned about the boy, but their concern was tempered by a happy contentment they couldn"t help but glow with. We"d fix that soon enough.
"h.e.l.lo!" I smiled in a way I hoped was rea.s.suring. "We"ve got something for all of you. If you"ll line up and take one each, and then when it"s time, we"ll tell you to eat it."
"What is it?" a little girl, her burnished copper hair spun into tight braids, asked. "Is it from the queen?"
"Yup. From the queen. She wants you to eat this."
I tore off pieces of the bread and put it into hand after hand after hand, Lend and I going down opposite ends toward each other to meet in the middle. The little boy"s sobs were quiet, a background music to the disturbing scene. Each person smiled and thanked me as I gave them a piece, and I wondered whether or not they"d regret thanking me. Was it better to be ignorantly, blissfully, falsely happy, or to be awake and aware of the horror your life had become?
I thought back on everything that had happened to me since that night Lend broke into the Center. It felt like a lifetime ago. Since then, I"d gone from being naive, trusting, and utterly secure about my place in the world, to being tossed around on a storm, losing who I was, losing my sense of purpose, even losing what I was when I found out my father was a faerie.
But in the end, I was glad. I wouldn"t trade what I"d learned or suffered or become for anything. It was better to know. Because when you knew, you could choose. The faeries loathed and even killed humans for using faerie names for control-yet they thought nothing of taking even the choice to decide how to feel from people.
I put a piece of bread into the last hand and looked up at Lend. Nodding firmly, I knew. This was right.
"Okay, go ahead and eat it!"
Everyone raised their hands in unison, and Lend and I cringed in antic.i.p.ation. A few seconds later half of them were on the ground, vomiting; the other half looked like they wanted to.
"What did you do to us?" a black woman with closely cropped hair asked. "What did-Oh, dear heaven, where am I?" She put a hand to her heart and staggered back a couple of steps, looking wildly around.
"I can explain." Jack"s voice was tired but clear. "Please listen."
I put my hand on Lend"s arm while Jack detailed what had been done to them. "I"m going to look for Carlee, see if we missed anyone else. Stay here in case Jack needs help?"
Lend nodded, his face troubled as everyone around dealt with their reawakened awareness with varying levels of shock and dismay.
I hurried past them and into the village. A couple of stragglers were coming toward the group, so I handed them pieces of bread with the instruction to eat it when they saw the blond boy talking. I guess that was the only nice thing about people under heavy faerie sedation: they were conveniently complacent.
I looked into every building that I pa.s.sed, but they were almost entirely empty, and none of the new people was the one I was looking for. I was nearly out of bread, too, so I pointed them in Jack"s direction and told them to ask for something to eat. Finally I came to the end of the village, and I was sure that no one was left in it. My heart fluttered hopefully in my chest-maybe Carlee wasn"t ever here. Maybe she really had run away or made some other gloriously mundane, human mistake.
Then I saw a teen girl standing on the lip of the hill at the other end of the village"s narrow valley. Her long, dark brown hair floated on the gentle breeze as she stared out, away from me.
My feet felt like lead as I climbed the hill, past the gentle green and purple meadow flowers, to stand next to her. Blinking back tears I turned to face her, still hoping that maybe, maybe, maybe...
It was her.
"h.e.l.lo." She smiled at me without recognition. "I"m waiting for my love to come back. He brought me here, and he said he"d be back. So I"m waiting for him."