"If the thawing continues at the rate it has begun, the roads should be pa.s.sable by the day after tomorrow." He walked to the window and stood there, looking out. He kept his back to her when he spoke. "I have debated what to do for some time. I will admit there"s a part of me wants nothing more than to settle here with you and remain for the rest of my life. I could do so easily and with great pleasure. "Tis even possible the king would accept it and do naught about it."
He sighed and waited a moment before he continued. "Yet duty and honor dictate I do otherwise. I am the king"s man, and I came here on a mission from him. I must return to give him an answer."
The question she wanted to ask stuck in her throat and refused to come out. But it didn"t matter. She"d know soon enough in any case."I truly believe that Lord Groswick"s death was an accident and your own involvement incidental. He died because he tried to harm you, not because you meant him any harm. I would swear my belief of that to the king on anything he wished. Yet I cannot guarantee he would see events in the same light. I cannot guarantee his reaction or what...penalty he might deem just."
Thomas turned to face her. "For that reason, I will not insist you accompany me. In fact, I"ll ask that you not. I go alone to the king"s court. What I offer you is this. I give you six months to follow me there. Until you arrive or until the sixth months expire, I will tell the king I"m awaiting one last piece of information before I can answer the question of Lord Groswick"s fate. Should you come, I will go to the king privately, explain what I feel happened, and beg his mercy when you come before him. I will also tell him that it"s the deepest wish of my heart-the only thing I want in this life-that we be allowed to marry."
"And..." She had to stop and clear the lump from her throat. "Should I not follow within six months?"He watched her closely, the gaze of his blue eyes a sword that drove into her heart. "I will tell the king I"ve received word that Lord Groswick died in an accident at the keep. No word was sent as he lingered for some time, and recovery was uncertain. The king will likely appoint someone to take charge of the keep and its demesne. I will request that he give you some jointure so that your future is secured. As a widow, you will then have the luxury to make what arrangements please you."
She sucked in a breath. "I would not see you again, though.""I cannot answer that with any certainty."She considered it for a moment before the realization came to her. "You would lie for me to the king?"
He let out a harsh breath and nodded. "A small evil to prevent the greater one of your being unjustly condemned. My conscience can abide it.""And I can prevent its necessity.""Consider well the possible price, my lady," he warned."I shall," she promised. "Most surely I shall consider well the price involved either way." Her eyes burned with tears she refused to release.
Thomas left two days later, taking Bertram with him. Ralf had not yet recovered enough to withstand the rigors of travel. He would either make his own way to court later, when he recovered, or accompany Lady Juliana, should she decide to make the journey.
The night before his departure, they undressed each other and lay together, kissing and stroking each other for a long time. His mouth worked hers until she opened for him, and then his tongue plundered every nook and corner.
When he drew back and just watched her for a moment, his head propped on his bent elbow, the candlelight reflected in the gold of his hair and burnished his skin. She"d never seen a man so beautiful before. That he was also strong, honorable, courageous and kind could be nothing less than a miracle. A miracle she didn"t deserve.
"Your expression is sad, my love," he said. "Do not think on what is to come. For tonight think only of what we have now."For his sake she would try. "Kiss me again, then," she begged. "You are most accomplished at distracting me in that way."
"I"m at my lady"s command." He leaned down and kissed her again. After ravaging her mouth, he went for her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. His tongue swirled around her nipples, sending waves of pleasure singing through her blood. He poked at them, sucked gently, then harder and even nipped them hard enough to sting. It was a thrilling pain that made her quim weep for him.
He rubbed her thighs, brushing up and down the insides, moving higher with each pa.s.s until he just slid into her cleft. When she thought she"d go mad, he finally moved higher to dip into the soft, damp folds of her quim. He stroked softly, making her squeal with the pleasure.
"I"ll remember this night for a long time," he told her, "and so I"ll not move quickly."He kept that promise. With lazy, tantalizing strokes and nips and soft rubbing, he slowly built the pressure, taking her into a frenzy of heat and desire that mounted so high she couldn"t contain it. Whenever she came close to bursting, however, he would stop and wait until she cooled off just enough to prevent her climaxing. Then he would begin again.
Three times he brought her to the edge of exploding and backed off. Juliana thought she
would go mad with it, but the fourth time, the pressure grew to a point beyond anything she"d yet experienced. Like a soap bubble expanding, its containment thinned and grew ever more fragile even as the size of it swelled.
When he gave her a pearl a few hard tweaks, it finally exploded. She let out a long, shrill scream as the spasms of release took her to a pleasure beyond anything she"d ever guessed possible before, a perfection of pleasure just this side of heaven. Thomas held her while she bucked and jumped as repeated bursts of rapture broke through her.
It left her breathless and panting, and, when it finally wore itself out, suffused with
peace and calm.
"That was truly astonishing," she told him when she could speak again. "You"ve shown me things I never guessed could be. I cannot begin to thank you for that.""You needn"t. It has been my pleasure as well. You"re an apt pupil, and perhaps this makes amends for some of what you suffered at Groswick"s hands.""If "twas necessary for me to suffer him to know this from you, then "twas more than worth it." Juliana pulled his face down to kiss him, then she rolled him over so she could have clear access to his body. "Now, let me make more memories for you."She brushed her fingers through his blond hair, combing out the soft strands, and committing the feel of it to her own stock of memories she"d treasure. She kissed his mouth, his cheeks, the soft skin beneath his ear, down his throat and across his chest. The warmth of his skin, the hardness of muscle rippling beneath it, the way he gasped and jerked in pleasure when she touched his nipples, all those went into the repository as well.
She grazed a palm over his long, strong thighs, rasping on the hair-roughened flesh there. He jumped and sucked in a sharp breath when she touched his b.a.l.l.s, cupping them in her hand. His c.o.c.k jerked at her touch, jumping with eagerness for her pumping. But she, too, tried to keep it slow, to build it deliberately but not too quickly for him.
The sight of his rampant c.o.c.k filling her hands, the smell of his arousal, the satiny feel of the skin stocked her memory deposit as well. She vowed to remember every square inch of him, every small moan he made, the feel of him throbbing in her clasp.
As the rhythm of her stroking picked up, she found a nipple with her other hand. A swirling touch, a rub, a pinch had him moaning, his face screwed into a frown of concentrated pleasure.
"Ah, please-," he begged. "Don"t stop. Please, don"t stop."She didn"t. She stroked him faster and faster, matching the bucking rhythm of his body, until he froze, paralyzed in a moment of extreme tension and pleasure, then he jerked several times, hard, and the thick, sticky liquid of his seed spurted from his c.o.c.k.
His breath came in a series of hard pants, but he drew her up and against his chest, to
hold her tight in his arms as he breathed his thanks and love.
"I do love you, you know," he said. "Never have I felt such joy and comfort in a woman"s arms, in her very presence. You"ll be in my heart all the days of my life.""As you"ll be in mine," she promised.They fell asleep entwined in each other"s arms.Dawn came too early and with it, he set out with Bertram for the capital and the king.Though the weather turned reasonably nice for the next week or so, Juliana felt as though Thomas had taken all the sunshine with him when he left. Certainly he took the greater part of her heart. Having him depart so soon after her mother"s funeral made her feel particularly bereft and lonely. Though the people of the household were sympathetic and kind, no one could fill the hole in her life left by the absence of her mother and the man she loved. With harvest done and winter setting in, there was less work to fill her time also.
She"d made her decision even before he"d left, but the quiet period offered her s.p.a.ce to think about his offer. For a man who hated lies and deceit as much as he did, the fact that he was willing to lie to save her felt like both a sword to the heart and a gift more precious than any she"d ever received.
She couldn"t do that to him. There was more to do than she"d realized, as she began to prepare to leave for a while. It gave her pause. William Randolph could run the keep for a time in her absence, but what if the king did not spare her? What would the people here do? The king would appoint a new lord, but what if he were someone as harsh and cruel as Groswick? What would they do? Did she have the right to take that chance with the lives and happiness of so many people here? It was an issue she had to weigh more seriously than she would have expected. Perhaps Thomas had seen the possible conflict, and wanted her to have the freedom to make what she considered the best decision. Yet, there was only one choice she could make. Her heart knew it.
Though terrified by visions of what might await her at the end of the journey, Juliana nonetheless desperately wanted to get underway. Every day of delay kept her away from Thomas. Unfortunately, even after she had all in order in the keep, she still had to wait for Ralf to recover enough to travel. The squire had proclaimed himself ready three days after Sir Thomas"s departure, but Juliana had watched the young man and seen how quickly he tired from relatively easy tasks like eating dinner.
It took more than two weeks before Ralf could handle the rigors of an hour of sword-training, the mark she"d mentally set for considering him ready to travel. But by then the weather had turned again, with huge gray clouds dropping another blanket of snow on the ground, and cold winds whipping it into perilous drifts.
Continued cold weather meant the snow and ice lingered for another week before melting enough that she could finally plan to set out. Almost half the household approached her during the interval and begged her not to leave, especially not with the Christmas holiday approaching. Juliana heard each one out. After the first couple of times, she stopped trying to explain why she needed to go. They all understood her reasons; they simply wanted her to know how much they would miss her and how much they feared for her.
The longer she had to wait, the more her fear of the journey itself and what awaited her at the end grew. It didn"t stop her from leaving as soon as the weather cleared enough to make it possible.The day she set out, accompanied by Ralf and four men-at-arms from the keeps" guards, the sun shone brightly, but it was cold enough to make her shiver, even within her fur-lined cloak.
It took almost a week to make the journey, and they were seven of the most physically miserable days of her life. After the first day, the sun remained in hiding behind banks of dark clouds, and for two days, a chill rain mixed with ice fell. Most nights they were able to find a town with a tavern where they could spend the night and get warm for a while, but one day the icy rain slowed them so much they didn"t make it to a town before dark and had to hastily pitch tents that leaked and barely kept out enough moisture to let them build a smoky fire.
While they traveled, her hands and feet felt frozen most of the time. Wind and rain chafed her face. Her clothes grew damp and uncomfortable. Ralf and the other men did all in their power to ease and protect her, which forced her to maintain a more cheerful att.i.tude than she felt.
The dreary weather put her in an introspective, difficult mood. She couldn"t help but consider all the grimmest scenarios about what might happen once she went before the king. Dying she could accept, but she dreaded the thought of torture. And how would Thomas handle her death if the king demanded it?
Despite her fears, the sheer agony of the trip made her grateful when they finally arrived in the city. As he"d done for the entire journey, Ralf led them unerringly as they wound through a maze of narrow, crowded streets, remarkably full of people and noise. Exotic aromas a.s.sailed her, some-but not all-of them wafting from the stalls of vendors they pased. People darted out in front of their party, with no apparent care for their likelihood of being knocked over by a horse or cart.
It took an amazingly long time to get to the king"s palace. She"d had no idea a city could be so large and so noisy, with so many people crammed together in one place. It couldn"t be healthy, surely.
At last, though, they approached an impressive gate. It stood open, and lines of people came and went through it. The palace loomed before them as they pa.s.sed the entrance gate, an immense, ornate building with majestic towers and grand banners flanking steps up to the main entrance. Their party stopped just in front of it, dismounted, and began to ascend the stairs.
A pair of armed guards stopped them and asked their names and business. The mention of Sir Thomas"s name bought them entrance and the services of a footman to escort them to a parlor where they might wait while he was summoned.
They didn"t wait long. Shortly after a servant arrived with warmed wine and fragrant scones, Sir Thomas himself entered.
The reunion was joyous. Once the squire had greeted his knight, Ralf took the men-at- arms away to show them to their quarters, leaving her alone with Thomas. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her until she felt faint with the delight of it. For her part,
Juliana clung to him, content to run her hands up and down his strong back and rest her head on his chest.
Inevitably, though, they had to pull apart and become practical people again. Thomas
showed her to chambers he"d reserved for her, and introduced her to Ellyn, the young woman he"d engaged to be her maid.Shortly thereafter Thomas left her to attend to business. One of those tasks was to secure a private audience with the king as soon as possible. He promised to join her for dinner that evening.
Ellyn helped her settle into her quarters and gave her a tour of the important parts of the palace during the rest of the afternoon. Thomas returned later, and they had a quiet meal together with Ralf and her men-at-arms. She tried to suppress her disappointment when Thomas left after they were done, though she knew it would be inappropriate for him to stay with her here.
The next day, at Thomas"s orders, Ellyn took her to a group of seamstresses to get her a pair of new gowns. He wanted her to look every inch a lady when she appeared before the king.
He returned at midday with the news that he"d had a private talk with the king.
Juliana"s pulse picked up, and the breath caught in her throat as she waited.Thomas shook his head. "I don"t know. I told the king what happened, how I felt about it, and how I felt about you. I told him you wanted to come before him and submit yourself to his judgment. He agreed to hear you. I begged him to be merciful, but he said nothing to me in response and his expression gave me no clue." He stopped and sighed heavily. "I don"t know. I can give you no a.s.surances."
The way he paced and the frown on his face showed he needed the rea.s.surance as much as she did. She went to him. Standing behind him, she circled his chest with her arms and rested her head against his back. "G.o.d"s will shall prevail. And all will be well as a result. I believe he"ll grant us mercy."
"I wish I could have your confidence."
"In truth, it"s no more than a strong hope. Hope is one of the cardinal virtues. Along with faith and love."He shrugged in her arms. "I have little of faith, but an excess of love. In between, perhaps I can find some hope, but I fear to trust it too much."
A knock at the door heralded the return of Ellyn, so they stepped apart without either of them affording the other much comfort. Before he left her to dress for her audience with
the king, he went over what she needed to know of court etiquette and tried to give her
some idea what to expect.He departed, and Juliana tried not to shake too hard as Ellyn helped her into the most elegant gown she"d ever worn. Deep green velvet had a subtle floral design embroidered with gold thread along its edges. The color made her look a bit pale, but then again, perhaps she was just paler than usual.
As the time drew near, Ellyn escorted her to the doors of the king"s audience chamber. A footman answered their knock and nodded when Juliana identified herself.
"Enter, Lady Groswick," he said. "His Majesty awaits you."Walking the long center aisle of the hall, to the throne at the far end, might have been the hardest thing she ever did. Conversations stopped as she drew near to the throne. She was aware of the presence of other people in the room, quite a number of them, but her attention fixed on the man seated on the throne. He was somewhat beyond middle years, but still vigorous for all that, and his eyes held sharp intelligence.
When she stood in front of the throne, she stopped and dropped into the deepest curtsy she could manage.
"Your Majesty.""Rise, Lady Groswick," the king said. "Our knight, Sir Thomas Carlwick, advised us of your coming, and that you brought with you the answer to a riddle we"ve puzzled over for some time."
"Aye, Your Majesty. With your permission, I should like to tell you what happened to my husband, Lord Groswick."
Juliana looked up at the king. His gaze was stern with no encouragement nor any sign of mercy. She nearly lost her nerve and ran from the room. She drew several deep breaths while praying for calm.
"Tell your story, my lady," the king ordered, his voice so expressionless she could derive no guess as to his feelings.Juliana told him the truth about Groswick"s death, the same story she"d told Thomas. She made no effort to excuse her own actions, but she did emphasize that at the time, she very much feared Groswick would kill her. She looked around the court once or twice. Thomas stood off to one side, watching her. His painful dread was almost more than she could bear.
As she turned back to the king, her gaze was met and briefly held by a man standing near the dais. Not a young man, but not old either; he had the stern countenance and confident bearing of a warrior. He wore black from head to foot, and it suited him. Not exactly handsome, he was nonetheless striking and attractive. He was also decidedly intrigued by her, if she judged his expression correctly.
But that could only distract her for a moment. She turned back to face the king and
finish her confession. As she ended her story, she added, "Your Majesty, it was not my intention to harm my husband, but harm him I did anyway. I throw myself on your justice and mercy."
Juliana blinked away the tears that threatened to fall and struggled to keep her entire body from trembling. Her knees felt weak and rubbery, a tendency that got worse as the king sat, staring at her, and said nothing. An unsettling silence descended on the hall as all awaited the king"s judgment.
Finally the king"s mouth squeezed together in a frown. He coughed lightly before he spoke. "We do not like this. "Tis a wife"s duty to submit to her husband, and it does not provide an admirable example for our people when a baron"s wife injures him in an effort to resist his will, much less kills him."
Juliana"s stomach clenched tight and her throat closed down. It felt as though all her insides folded in on themselves. Her rubbery legs started to buckle. She caught herself, though, and stiffened her spine, her legs, and her dignity. She opened her mouth to protest, then stopped. It wasn"t wise to interrupt the king.
Yet that didn"t stop the man whose gaze she"d met earlier from standing up at that moment, facing the king, and saying, "Your Majesty, before you give your decision, might I say something?"
The king"s expression changed to one of resigned amus.e.m.e.nt tinged with irritation before he swung to face the speaker. "Of course, Edward." More than a hint of sarcasm tinged the words. "You"d likely say it anyway."
Edward. The black clothes. Of course."Thank you, Your Majesty. If I might..." The Black Prince approached her and looked carefully at her for a minute. His gaze focused on the scars. He stood beside her and lifted her arm, placing it on his, then walked forward with her to the foot of the dais and up the first step. They stopped no more than two feet from the throne."Your Majesty, please look at the lady"s face. I"ll wager half your kingdom the scars were put there by Lord Groswick. Is it not so, lady?"Still in some shock, she looked at the Prince. "Aye, Your Highness. "Tis so. But how...?""Could I know?" The Prince laughed harshly and with no humor. "I knew your husband, my lady. In truth, I was quite startled to hear a rumor that he"d joined me on the Continent, because he and I both knew that were I down to my last man, I should not accept any offer of service from him."
The king"s eyebrows rose. "You despised him that much?""He was entirely despicable, Your Majesty. When I heard he"d married, I pitied the lady. Now that I"ve met her and seen what a sweet and lovely person she is, I"m even more disturbed to consider what she must have suffered at his hands."
"Indeed." The word still held a load of irony. "Your sense of justice and mercy does you credit, Edward. Your patience, however, is even yet in need of practice. Now hear us out, if you please."
The Prince bowed, but remained in place next to Juliana. She welcomed his support. Her
knees still didn"t feel any too stable."As we were saying." The king arched an ironic eyebrow at his son. ""Tis not a good thing for a wife to resist her husband and worse to kill him in the attempt. Yet in this case, it appears Lady Juliana truly had reason to fear for her own life and was defending herself."