Oliver said, but she saw that strange k in his eyes again. She could have sworn it was "He is. The whole town knows."
"Not my town."
"They know. They just don"t dare say it."
"And don"t you." He rose, pointing a shaky finger her way. "Don"t you ever let your mother hear that drivel." "Not drivel," Donna said aloud., "Truth."
"Truth or not, it"ll kill her." His eyes narrowed. ,,"That what you want? You nearly killed her once, , deaf like that." Donna"s jaw dropped. "She made me deaf "If you hadn"t been snooping, you wouldn"ta been hit or gone deaf, and the same goes for what"s wrong between you and Matthew. Maybe if you were a better wife to him, he wouldn"t have to run somewhere else." She was outraged. "He was having an affair with her before he met me." Since the stabbing, friends had confessed things to her. That bit of information was one. "Well, you sure didn"t keep his interest for long." He threw a hand in the air. "Do what you want with your husband"-the hand came down, finger pointing again-"but do not upset your mother. She isn"t steady. All this goin" on with the company hasn"t been easy on her. You.
leave her alone." 489 Deungby Donna hadn"t planned to say a word to Margaret about what she knew. Nor had she planned to tell Hunter. All she wanted was her father"s okay to end a marriage that was a disaster.
It looked as though he wouldn"t give it. It looked as though he would side with Matthew, but that didn"t hurt the way it would have once. The difference was Nolan, who loved her, and Chelsea, who valued her, and Joshie, who deserved better than what he was getting. The difference was her own conviction that Oliver was wrong. Unfortunately he was right about one thing. Margaret was fragile. She could be demanding and manipulative, even devoted, but she was fragile. The change in the business had indeed upset her. She hadn"t been the same since Chelsea had come. She would be especially hard hit if Donna left Matthew. With Oliver"s support, Donna might have managed it. She wasn"t sure she could now. Margaret had caused her deafness, but she had paid a price, too.
Donna didn"t want her falling apart again, any more than Oliver did. It was a no-win situation. "Hi, Dad," Chelsea said as brightly as she could when Kevin himself, rather than the machine, finally answered in Baltimore. Then she waited, suffering with each second that pa.s.sed. She hadn"t talked with him since Newport. She half expected him to hang up on her. He sounded hesitant but concerned. "Chelsea? Are you all right?"
She wanted to laugh in relief. "I"m fine. How are you?" 490 The Paswons of Cbciam Kaw bad," he said, but warily now, as though it taken him a minute to remember all that had ed the call. miss you," she dared say.
It was the truth, had been so, and was even more so now. Leo"s made her acutely aware of what she had that ing to waste. "It"s been too long."
her than saying he agreed, Kevin asked, "Did have a nice Thanksgiving"?"
@,Ayes-no-actually, that"s one of the reasons I"m ling- ,-"Is the baby all right?" Again, the concern. ,,She basked in his worry, though she wasn"t so s as to prolong it. She quickly rea.s.sured him, n told him about Leo. "Maybe it"s for the best. He n"t getting better. But it"s been difficult for Judd." R was one thing to discuss Leo, in Kevin"s mind a eless victim of Alzheimer"s disease, quite another discuss Judd.
Judd had a face. He also had a e, which by his own admission had said things it uldn"t have said the last time the two men had et. Chelsea didn"t know what those things were. She Kevin would tell her if he was angry enough. "Judd is an unusual man," he said, which told her othing.
"Unusual?"
"Bold. He wasn"t shy about speaking his mind."
"He regretted that. He was afraid he might have , more damage to our relationship than has already been done."
"Yes. Well." "Did he?" Chelsea asked, because she still couldn"t tell what he was thinking or feeling. Without answering, Kevin said, "I think he likes YOU." 491 Tbc Pa.s.sions of Chchma Kane "The feeling is mutual."
"Have you married him?" She heard a guarded hope. He was so very conventional. "Would that make things easier for you?" "Would you do it, if I said it would?" Softly she said, "No." "That"s what I thought." He grew silent. She was about to say something about the wrong reasons to marry when he asked, "How much longer?" She rested a hand on her stomach. "Less than two months."
"Are you big?"
"Like a watermelon."
"Is the baby active?"
"Very." She smiled at that thought. Judd spent hours watching her stomach. There were times when she knew he was thinking of Leo, thinking that one life was over and a new one beginning, other times when he was totally focused on the baby. He never said much, just watched. He would slide his hand over the tautly drawn skin, chart the baby"s shifting, shadow a tiny elbow or heel with his large, callused palm, ma.s.sage her muscles when they contracted into hard bands, and through it all there would be an intent look in his eye. "What arrangements have you made for the delivery?"
Kevin asked. "I"ll go to the local hospital. It"s only ten minutes away.
The doctor is good."
"The one from Johns Hopkins?" She smiled.
Qualifications meant so much to Kevin. "The one from Johns Hopkins." "That"s good." He paused. In a lower voice he said, "Have you told Carl?"
"No. Have you?" 492 e cleared his throat. "No. You had a point about ing his marriage. I resent that he married her er than you, but It"s a done thing. How you"ve it from him is a mystery to me."
"I haven"t been back since the pregnancy became iceable. I do everything by phone or by fax. lissa knows. She"s been a big help handling gs on that end for me"
".re you doing much designing?"
"Actually, I just got a go-ahead on the Huntni." She was very excited and very, very proud.
lissa will be the on-site person. I"ll be faxing her igns."
"Won"t it be too much?"
"Oh, no. I have a studio at the farmhouse. I love. e creative challenge.
My body may be c.u.mberme, but my hands and mind are eager to work."
"Will the Hunt-Omni take all your time?"
"Not all," she said curiously. "Why do you ask?"
"I got a call from Marvin Blecker a few weeks ack. He"s putting together a new project." Chelsea was instantly alert. Marvin Blecker was a eal estate developer with holdings in every part of e country. "What kind of project?"
"A series of magnet hospitals, formed by the merger of two or more smaller hospitals for the sake of consolidating services. Each magnet hospital will need a new central structure. Marv is aiming . an identifiable look. I told him you might be ,."
"I definitely am!" A project like that would be ongoing. If she was able to incorporate granite in the design, Plum Granite would be busy for years. "You should have called me right away""
He was quiet for a minute. "That ... wasn"t easy." 493 Barbara Deunsky The pa.s.sions or Chelsea Kam "Then I"m glad I called you," she said without rancor. There wasn"t time for rancor. Leo"s death had driven that point home. Life was too short, too precarious, for unnecessary estrangements. "I really miss you, Dad. Won"t you come visit?" In a low voice he said, "I"m not ready for that."
"I"m told Christmas is beautiful here. There"s a candle-lighting ceremony on the green, rum toddies at the inn-"
"I"ll be in Palm Beach through New Year"s."
"Will you come when the baby"s born?" After a pause he said, "I don"t know, Chelsea. I can"t promise anything. I don"t want to go to that place."
"But " place" is me, and this is your grandchild."
"I know. I know."
"Mom would want you to come."
"That"s unfair," he said with a catch in his voice. "She"s gone, and you"re asking me to go to a place that I"ve spent my life trying to forget." Chelsea had to give him points for honesty. He was making progress. "All things considered, this is the best place to have my baby, and I do love the farnihouse. The only thing wrong. with it is that you haven"t seen it. You"re my father. You"re all I have left."
"No father up there?"
"Just you. I want you to see the farmhouse and the quarries. I want you to meet my friends, and I want them to meet you. And I really want you to hold the baby." With a gruffness that gave her renewed hope, he said, "Get it born first.
Knowing you, you"ll do it in the middle of a blizzard. You never did things the easy way, Chelsea Kane." 494 Chelsea supposed he was right.
While another an at her stage of pregnancy might spend her on a rocker with a quilt over her legs, a gla.s.s of in her hand, and a childbirth manual on her she was at the office talking with Marvin Blecker the phone, studying site photographs that lissa had sent, crumbling sheet after sheet of yel- trace until she finally drew a sketch she liked.
That wasn"t to say she drove to the office herself. dd dropped her there in the morning, stranding r--4eliberately, she was sure-until he checked k in at midday. He didn"t want her driving over s that were icy morning and night, didn"t want n accident on his conscience, he said, and she "dn"t argue. Nor did she argue when he plied with r milk. She did balk, though, when it came to the ildbirth manual. Reading it made her nervous. "That"s no excuse," he said. "Yes it is. I don"t want to know about every little , &t may go wrong. Why should I look for trouble? Neil will tell me what to do."
"You should have taken a course."
"The nearest one was in Concord, and I didn"t want to drive there twice a week. Besides," she argued, "did women take courses in colonial Virginia? No! Were they reading childbirth manuals in their covered wagons while they crossed the fruited plains? No! Still, their babies got born. Sometimes ignorance is bliss." She truly believed it.
Her body had done well on its own so far. She had faith in it. As for the bliss part, she believed in that, too, which was why she took to Judd"s suggestion that 495 OWIMra Definsky they go away for Christmas.
They didn"t go far, just to a small bed and breakfast in southern Vermont, but it was a treat. - Their room had a large canopy bed, a large clawed tub, and a large brick fireplace. They left it for little more than meals, the occasional walk through the town, and midnight ma.s.s. "This is truly decadent," Chelsea whispered at one point. It was late afternoon, and they were in the bath. Enough steam rose from the water to curl Chelsea"s hair and dot Judd"s nose with sweat, though whether the latter was caused by what they were doing was an arguable point. She was astraddle his hips with her arms looped loosely around his neck and her eyes holding his. The slightest urging of his hands brought her forward for his kiss. "Decadent but nice," he said against her mouth. She wove her fingers into the damp. hair at his nape. "Think people in the Notch are wondering?"
"Yup."
"Does it bother you?"
"Nope.
h.e.l.l," he said, "what can a man do with a woman who"s built like a whale?" He rubbed his forearm over her belly, stirring a ripple in the water. She laughed and sank a hand below the water line. She loved stroking him against her stomach. His response told her he did, too.
"Good thing we don"t have to worry about a condom. You"d never get one to fit." He snickered and had her raised and lowered on him in no time flat. Then they sat there without making a single wave, kissing slowly and lazily. Judd was incredible that way, she"d found. Just 496 The Paswous of Cbedum Kane he could be miserly with words, so he could be erly with movement. "Good things come to those o wait," he reminded her with a smug grin, but he right. The slow, lazy approach made the tiny s he did more intense. He could stay endlessly ge inside her, occasionally whispering a hand ross her back, occasionally brushing a nipple, ionally fingering the sensitive nub just above re they were joined. Likewise, he had a subtle with his tongue that could possess the entire ide of her mouth with neither frenzy nor plunder. er all that, he could bring her to climax with the , flex of his hips-and she"d long since aban- , oned the notion that her hormones were screwed A I up. Yes, some women experienced greater s.e.xuality , pregnancy, but Chelsea sensed that she would have to be dead not to respond to Judd. She loved him. She supposed she had for far longer than she knew, though the first time she"d realized it had been on the night Leo died. She hadn"t said the words to Judd. Instinct told her not to. But they built up and built up, demanding release until she felt she would choke if she didn"t air them soon. So, on New Year"s Day, bright and early, she sat up in bed with her legs folded under the baby, pulled the rust-colored sheets and the rust-greenand-purple comforter around her bare shoulders, and stared at Judd. He was still sleeping. They had spent the early part of the evening at the annual New Year"s Eve dinner-dance at the church, but she"d been home and asleep, curled against him, well before midnight. He must have read for a while, 497 BArbam Deunshy because his book was open, page down on the nightstand. He was on his back, his face toward her side of the bed. His dark hair was mussed, his lashes a charcoal smudge above his cheekbones, his lean mouth gentle in repose. Although his summer"s tan had long since dulled, his coloring still spoke of health. She touched his shoulder, the one that had been gouged. The scar was fading. She traced it, traced the wedge of hair on his chest, lightly touched his chin. His eyes came slowly open. A lazy smile stole over his lips, a beautiful smile in a man for whom smiles were so rare.
"Happy New Year," she sang softly, and leaned down for a kiss. She was still there, no more than two inches from his mouth, when she said, still softly, "I love you." He closed his eyes. "Mmmm." "Did you hear what I said?"
"Couldn"t miss it. You"re screaming."
"I"m not screaming.
I"m very calmly saying " love YOU. He took a deep breath, half yawn, half sigh. "What does that mean?" she asked. "it means that I can think of easier ways to start the new year."
"Not me," she said, determined not to let him rain on her parade. "I"ve been wanting to say that for weeks. It felt so good, I think I"ll say it again. I love you.- His mouth lost its curve. Looking at her, his eyes were dark with the feeling that neither his face nor his voice conveyed. "I love you, too, Chelsea, but 498 nm raswons or awwa Kaw at"s about all I know. I don"t know what I"m supposed to do with it or where it"s supposed to go."
"You"re supposed to enjoy it," she said with a grin, because coming from his mouth the words gave her a thrill. "That"s all." He didn"t look convinced. "They"re heavy words."
"Not for me. They express a here-and-now sent! ment. If you think I"m asking for some kind of commitment, you"re wrong. I"ve got a lot to do between now and June."
"That"s one of the problems. Where will you be after that?"
"I don"t know."
"I don"t, either." She grinned. "So we"re even."
"Chelsea," he complained, "how can you laugh? Fine and dandy to say you"re not looking for commitment, still, love isn"t something to be taken lightly. If it"s really love, really love, it has a way of lingering." She understood.
"You"re thinking of Leo falling for Emma, and then Emma going away."
"He never got over it."
"She left because she couldn"t stand the Notch. In those days, you either lived here or you didn"t. Nowadays people commute." He folded an arm under his head. "You won"t be saying that once the baby is born. Portability won"t be so easy then, and when the baby gets older, there"s school. You"ll have to settle somewhere. But what if I take a job in Denver? Or San Francisco? Or Honolulu? I came back here because Leo was sick. Now he"s gone. I owe it to the company to stay through June, but afterward, I just don"t know." She had seen his computer setup at home, had 499 Bwtwm Defiewhy seen him totally absorbed in it, had seen the contracts, even the checks that came in the mail, and knew that he had a whole other career just waiting for him, should he choose it. He had that right. He wasn"t bound to her in any way. Her immediate future was the baby, and he might just hate that. If so, that was his right, too. He didn"t owe her a thing. Sitting beside him now, stroking the firm skin from his elbow to the dark tufts of hair under his arm and feeling a tingle inside, she sensed that if one of them was going to end up brokenhearted like Leo, it wouldn"t be Judd.
Judd sharpened his eyes on the road, tightened his hands on the wheel, and kept as steady a foot on the gas as he could given the woesome weather. January was two weeks old, and snow was falling with a fury that New Hampshire hadn"t seen since Thanksgiving, only this was worse.
There was wind now, and the temperature was below the freezing mark, which made the storm a bona fide blizzard. "Watch it," Hunter warned, but Judd was already guiding the Blazer around the taillights of a skidding car. "What"s the rush?" "No rush," Judd said. "Got a date?"
"Sure."
"If we"d had any sense, we"da stayed in Boston." They had been there to order three new flatbed trucks from a firm they"d never dealt with before. The storm had been predicted for the next day. Something in the atmosphere had speeded things 500 The ragwons or Cheig" Kam One look at the first flakes, and Judd had had an y feeling. The feeling had intensified with each but he refused to pull into a road stop to wait t the storm. "We"ll get there," he said, and for a time they on, listening to the sting of the snow against * windshield, the swish of the wipers, the howl of * wind, and James Taylor. He depressed the gas pedal a fraction. "She"s all right," Hunter said. Judd wasn"t so sure. "She"s not due for another two weeks, Judd." "What do doctors know?" Judd asked. "It"s the kid ,"-o decides when to come.- "She didn"t tell you to stay."
"She would n"t. She wanted us to see those flatbeds person. When it comes to work, she doesn"t take ces." Hunter slouched against the door. After several ,-minutes he said, "Can"t complain about that. She"s makin" it easier for us to win the company. Does she know it?"
"I honestly don"t think she cares," Judd muttered. "She doesn"t want the company?" "Not pa.s.sionately."
"I find that hard to believe." Judd pulled the Blazer out from behind a truck. He retreated in time to avoid an oncoming car, but as soon as the car pa.s.sed, he pulled out again. "Cool move," Hunter remarked sarcastically. "Wanna get out and walk?"
"No way.
These are good leather boots."
"Then can it," Judd said. He didn"t need Hunter"s lip. He didn"t need comments about Chelsea and the company.
What he needed was to get the h.e.l.l to 501 Barbara Definsky Boulderbrook and get there fast. Hunter stared out the window. James Taylor sang about walkin" on a country road. Judd thought about what lay ahead-another three hours of driving on a whole string of country roads. - He honked at a car that was creeping, then swung out, downshifted, pa.s.sed the car. "What"s with you?" Hunter asked. "I want to get back."
"She"s all right."
"She"s alone. I should"ve left her in town. It"d be just my luck to have some crackpot go out there and cut her electric wires." Since Newport, things had been quiet on that score, but Judd wasn"t a.s.suming it was done. Someone was being crafty, that was all. "Your luck?" Hunter echoed mockingly. "Since when is her fate yours?"
"Since she bought half the company from Oliver," Judd informed him. "Jeez, you"re so cynical it makes me gag. Is it so hard to admit that the woman is doing us all some good? Or that her motives may not be totally selfish? Or that she might, just might, be a decent human being?
I know you, Hunter. I"ve seen you with her. In your own way, you"re protective. You won"t hurt her, but you resent the h.e.l.l out of her. What I don"t know is why. She"s not takin" a d.a.m.n thing away from you. When are you gonna realize that?" Hunter"s eyes bored into him. "Man, are you gone."
"It"s the truth." "Gone over her," he said. "Really hooked."
"What I am is none of your business. Do me a favor, shut your mouth for a while? Else you can walk, and those boots be d.a.m.ned." 502 The rawsions Of Chelaw unter either valued the boots, Judd"s friendship, his own life enough, because he didn"t say anoth- ,,word. " kept his eyes glued to the road, kept his fin- wrapped tightly around the wheel, kept his foot the gas. He told himself that he wasn"t hooked, he wanted to get home fast just to get out of the ow, but when James Taylor started in with, mething in the way she moves," he jabbed the ect b.u.t.ton and removed the tape. The pains were coming five minutes apart, helsea guessed, and tried to keep calm. She had no Ights, no phone. The storm had robbed her of those hours before. Shortly thereafter, her water had roken. Shortly after that, the contractions had gun. First labors, took forever. Everyone said that. She didn"t understand why the pains were so close. Initially she had kept busy lighting candles, changing sheets, putting personal items In the overnight bag she had ready in the front hall closet. , had neatened up the nursery, though it didn"t need neatening. It was a bright yellow-and-white room that was bright even by candlelight, and it cheered her as much as anything could, given that she was alone and in labor in the middle of a driving snowstorm. Not alone. Buck was with her, following her around from one roo Irn to the next. As trusty a friend as he was, though, Buck couldn"t deliver a baby. When she ran out of things to do, she had settled in the living room before the fire. Now she lifted herself from the chair and walked around. When her 503 [email protected] Definshy The ragsiong or cbeftes stomach knotted, she braced herself against the sofa back until the contraction ended, then went on to the window. She couldn"t see much beyond the flakes. .h.i.tting the panes in the faint glow of the fire. Without a porch light, the night beyond was black as pitch. She wanted to see headlights, wanted to see Judd. Knowing that he was delayed by the storm didn"t make her feel better. She was going to need help soon, and she couldn"t get it for herself. The thought of giving birth to her baby alone didn"t hold much appeal. Judd had been right. She should have read the childbirth manual. Thinking that anything was better than nothing, she took a candle and fetched the book from the bedroom. She opened it, didn"t know where to begin, flipped pages until the next contraction hit, when she pushed the book aside and rode out the pain. Too fast, she thought, too fast. First labors took forever. Things would slow down.
But they didn"t. Barely four minutes pa.s.sed before the next contraction began. When it ebbed, she walked around again. Thinking wishfully, she tried the phone. She added logs to the fire. She opened the childbirth manual randomly, found herself reading about breach births, slammed the book shut, and pushed it out of sight. She tried to be calm, to stay ahead of the pain, but it was getting harder. The baby was in a rush to get out. She hadn"t planned on that. Kevin had hit it on the nose, she realized with a touch of hysteria. Knowing you, you"ll do it in the middle of a blizzard. You never did things the easy way, Chelsea Kane.
She wished he were there. She 504 hed Judd were there. She wished anyone were ere. The wind hurled pellets of snow against the farmuse in an unending barrage. Shaking now from a Mange of cold, excitement, and fear, she wrapped in a quilt and deep-breathed her way rough the next contraction. It seemed like forever fore it was done, which wasn"t a good sign at all. She couldn"t reach Judd, couldn"t reach Neil, .,couldn"t even reach the midwife she had sworn she uldn"t use, though if she had that option now, she would take it. She felt something wet between her legs and refused to see what it was. Another conaraction began, built, peaked, and ebbed, leaving her more frightened than ever.
She pushed the hair off her damp forehead. She rubbed her back where it ached. She had lost control of her body. It was doing things that she couldn"t stop. It had completely taken over, and although she had so cavalierly told Judd, No sweat, what would happen, would happen, she was sweating up a storm now. "No answer," Judd said, sliding into the car.
He didn"t even brush the snow off his coat before he put the car into gear and took off. "Shouldn"t have stopped to call," he muttered. "Waste of time"
".hy didn"t she answer?"
"How the h.e.l.l should I know." They were still twenty miles from Norwich Notch, which, thanks to the storm, meant another hour, a.s.suming they didn"t skid off the road. "Only a fool would be out in this," Hunter said. Judd knew Chelsea was no fool.
Bullheaded, yes, 505 bwbara Deunsky The Pa.s.sions or Chelsea but no fool. "Something"s wrong with the phones. Her machine wasn"t on. If she"d gone anywhere, she would have left a Ten minutes down the road he pulled in at a diner, shouldered his way through the wind and snow, and called Nolan. "Something"s wrong at Boulderbrook," he said. "I can feel it."