"So this fellow has come back at last!" he cried.
"_Tandem!--denique!_--Do you know, Freluchon, that your treatment of me has been rather too unceremonious?"
"Good-morning, Chamoureau; embrace me!"
"To go away without returning my new black coat and trousers! You have no idea what that cost me!"
"Embrace your friend!"
"Let me alone.--The trousers were new, too."
"Do you suppose that I have worn your clothes, I should like to know? do you think that I put on your coat and trousers to go to Rouen?"
"Faith! I don"t know."
"I should look very nice in them, as I"m five inches shorter than you!
See, there are your clothes, on that chair; I give you my word that they haven"t been to Rouen."
The agent carefully examined his coat and trousers, muttering:
"To think that I have two of each now! it was hardly worth while!"
"What! have you bought another black coat?"
"I had to."
"Have you had occasion to take part in some grand function--a wedding, or a funeral?"
"I had occasion--I had occasion to be dressed handsomely."
"Chamoureau, you have secrets from your best friend; that is not right.
I"ve brought you a stick of sugar-candy from Rouen."
"Don"t talk to me about candy, Freluchon, I beg you. You remind me of Mi-Careme night, which I would like to efface from my memory!"
"Why, I was under the impression that you made a magnificent conquest that night; you told us so, at all events."
"Yes, that"s so; I did meet a fascinating woman, and she gave me permission to call on her; but I"ve been no more fortunate for that.
Four times now within five days I have been to see her, in the hope of finding her less cruel; but I am always told that she isn"t in. I begin to think that she doesn"t propose to receive me again."
"The trouble is that you didn"t go about it right, my poor fellow. You were probably too prudent, too timid. There are women who prefer to have the appearance of yielding only to violence."
"You see, my trousers split; that embarra.s.sed me the first time I called on her."
"You ought to have worn an ap.r.o.n; then it wouldn"t have made any difference about your trousers."
"Freluchon, your constant jesting with a man so miserable as I am is barbarous; for my love for that woman gives me neither truce nor rest."
"The deuce! and the memory of the adored Eleonore? have we left that under the shed?"
Chamoureau took his coat and trousers and was about to depart without a word; but Freluchon stopped him.
"Where are you going?"
"I am going away."
"You run off because I speak of Eleonore! _Quantum mutatus ab illo!_--Come, stay; I won"t mention her again; and if, instead of that, I should make you the fortunate vanquisher of the superb Sainte-Suzanne----"
"What! Sainte-Suzanne? You know--he knows--Monsieur Edmond, did you tell him?"
"No, no! Edmond hasn"t told me anything; I learned of your intrigue at Rouen; news of that sort is despatched at once by the railroads."
"I don"t understand."
"That makes no difference; it"s enough for you to know that your friend is at work for you, and that, knowing that you sighed for a cruel beauty, he said to himself:
""Chamoureau must be made happy!"
"And I have manoeuvred so well and pulled the wires so skilfully with the fair Thelenie, that I have changed her views completely with respect to you! The result is that she gives you an a.s.signation for nine o"clock this evening, on the Champs-Elysees. She will be in a coupe opposite the Jardin d"Hiver."
"It can"t be possible! No, I know you, Freluchon--you"re playing a joke on me!"
"I give you my word of honor--and you know that I don"t give it lightly--that the charming person with whom you are in love will be in a coupe, opposite the Jardin d"Hiver, at nine o"clock this evening; and that the coachman will open the carriage door, if you open your left hand twice in front of him.--Do you believe me, now?"
"Dear Freluchon! embrace me!"
"I knew it would be so: he is the one who wants to embrace me now. Oh!
these men! Someone has said: "Woman changes oft, and foolish is the man," et cetera; one might as fitly say: "Man changes oft, and an a.s.s is the man who trusts him!"--I am rewriting Francois I; but there have been those who have ventured to rewrite Racine; and frankly I think that he was a greater poet than Francois."
"In heaven"s name, Freluchon, repeat what you just told me! This evening, at nine o"clock, I shall find Thelenie in a coupe on the Champs-Elysees?"
"Yes, in front of the Jardin d"Hiver, on the other side of the avenue."
"And, to induce the coachman to open the door, I am to shake my fist at him?"
"Sapristi! if that"s the way you hear! you are to open your left hand twice, before his face."
"Ah! very good! I will open my left hand twice. But, what the devil!----"
"Well, what difficulty is there about that?"
"When I have opened my left hand once, how am I to open it again?"
"Why, you idiot, you must close it again, of course!"
"Ah, yes! to be sure; I won"t open it again till I have closed it. It is love that unsettles my mind. And I shall find Thelenie, she will be waiting for me, and she will not spurn my homage!"
"d.a.m.nation! my dear fellow, when a lady gives you an a.s.signation at night, in a carriage, that doesn"t indicate an intention to be very severe; and if you don"t come out of the affair the victor, it will be your own fault."