""Ow could "e get a crib?" asked Jarman; "no character, no references."
"I"ve got it," cried Jarman, starting up; "the stage!"
"Can he act?" asked Minikin.
"Can do anything," retorted my supporter, "that don"t want too much sense. That"s "is sanctuary, the stage. No questions asked, no character wanted. Lord! why didn"t I think of it before?"
"Wants a bit of getting on to, doesn"t it?" suggested Minikin.
"Depends upon where you want to get," replied Jarman. For the first time since the commencement of the discussion he turned to me. "Can you sing?" he asked me.
I replied that I could a little, though I had never done so in public.
"Sing something now," demanded Jarman; "let"s "ear you. Wait a minute!"
he cried.
He slipped out of the room. I heard him pause upon the landing below and knock at the door of the fair Rosina"s room. The next minute he returned.
"It"s all right," he explained; "she"s not in yet. Now, sing for all you"re worth. Remember, it"s for life and freedom."
I sang "Sally in Our Alley," not with much spirit, I am inclined to think. With every mention of the lady"s name there rose before me the abundant form and features of my _fiancee_, which checked the feeling that should have trembled through my voice. But Jarman, though not enthusiastic, was content.
"It isn"t what I call a grand opera voice," he commented, "but it ought to do all right for a chorus where economy is the chief point to be considered. Now, I"ll tell you what to do. You go to-morrow straight to the O"Kelly, and put the whole thing before "im. "E"s a good sort; "e"ll touch you up a bit, and maybe give you a few introductions. Lucky for you, this is just the right time. There"s one or two things comin"
on, and if Fate ain"t dead against you, you"ll lose your amorita, or whatever it"s called, and not find "er again till it"s too late."
I was not in the mood that evening to feel hopeful about anything; but I thanked both of them for their kind intentions and promised to think the suggestion over on the morrow, when, as it was generally agreed, I should be in a more fitting state to bring cool judgment to bear upon the subject; and they rose to take their departure.
Leaving Minikin to descend alone, Jarman returned the next minute.
"Consols are down a bit this week," he whispered, with the door in his hand. "If you want a little of the ready to carry you through, don"t go sellin" out. I can manage a few pounds. Suck a couple of lemons and you"ll be all right in the morning. So long."
I followed his advice regarding the lemons, and finding it correct, went to the office next morning as usual. Lott & Co., in consideration of my agreeing to a deduction of two shillings on the week"s salary, allowed himself to overlook the matter. I had intended acting on Jarman" S advice, to call upon the O"Kelly at his address of respectability in Hampstead that evening, and had posted him a note saying I was coming.
Before leaving the office, however, I received a reply to the effect that he would be out that evening, and asking me to make it the following Friday instead. Disappointed, I returned to my lodgings in a depressed state of mind. Jarman "s scheme, which had appeared hopeful and even attractive during the daytime, now loomed shadowy and impossible before me. The emptiness of the first floor parlour as I pa.s.sed its open door struck a chill upon me, reminding me of the disappearance of a friend to whom, in spite of moral disapproval, I had during these last few months become attached. Unable to work, the old pain of loneliness returned upon me. I sat for awhile in the darkness, listening to the scratching of the pen of my neighbour, the old law-writer, and the sense of despair that its sound always communicated to me encompa.s.sed me about this evening with heavier weight than usual.
After all, was not the sympathy of the Lady "Ortensia, stimulated for personal purposes though it might be, better than nothing? At least, here was some living creature to whom I belonged, to whom my existence or nonexistence was of interest, who, if only for her own sake, was bound to share my hopes, my fears.
It was in this mood that I heard a slight tap at the door. In the dim pa.s.sage stood the small slavey, holding out a note. I took it, and returning, lighted my candle. The envelope was pink and scented. It was addressed, in handwriting not so bad as I had expected, to "Paul Kelver, Esquire." I opened it and read:
"Dr mr. Paul--I herd as how you was took hill hafter the party. I feer you are not strong. You must not work so hard or you will be hill and then I shall be very cros with you. I hop you are well now. If so I am going for a wark and you may come with me if you are good. With much love. From your affechonat ROSIE."
In spite of the spelling, a curious, tingling sensation stole over me as I read this my first love-letter. A faint mist swam before my eyes.
Through it, glorified and softened, I saw the face of my betrothed, pasty yet alluring, her large white fleshy arms stretched out invitingly toward me. Moved by a sudden hot haste that seized me, I dressed myself with trembling hands; I appeared to be anxious to act without giving myself time for thought. Complete, with a colour in my cheeks unusual to them, and a burning in my eyes, I descended and knocked with a nervous hand at the door of the second floor back.
"Who"s that?" came in answer Miss Sellars" sharp tones.
"It is I--Paul."
"Oh, wait a minute, dear." The tone was sweeter. There followed the sound of scurried footsteps, a rustling of clothes, a banging of drawers, a few moments" dead silence, and then:
"You can come in now, dear."
I entered. It was a small, untidy room, smelling of smoky lamp; but all I saw distinctly at the moment was Miss Sellars with her arms above her head, pinning her hat upon her straw-coloured hair.
With the sight of her before me in the flesh, my feelings underwent a sudden revulsion. During the few minutes she had kept me waiting outside the door I had suffered from an almost uncontrollable desire to turn the handle and rush in. Now, had I acted on impulse, I should have run out.
Not that she was an unpleasant-looking girl by any means; it was the atmosphere of coa.r.s.eness, of commonness, around her that repelled me.
The fastidiousness--finikinness; if you will--that would so often spoil my rare chop, put before me by a waitress with dirty finger-nails, forced me to disregard the ample charms she no doubt did possess, to fasten my eyes exclusively upon her red, rough hands and the one or two warts that grew thereon.
"You"re a very naughty boy," told me Miss Sellars, finishing the fastening of her hat. "Why didn"t you come in and see me in the dinner-_h_our? I"ve a great mind not to kiss you."
The powder she had evidently dabbed on hastily was plainly visible upon her face; the round, soft arms were hidden beneath ill-fitting sleeves of some c.r.a.pey material, the thought of which put my teeth on edge. I wished her intention had been stronger. Instead, relenting, she offered me her flowery cheek, which I saluted gingerly, the taste of it reminding me of certain pale, thin dough-cakes manufactured by the wife of our school porter and sold to us in playtime at four a penny, and which, having regard to their satisfying quality, had been popular with me in those days.
At the top of the kitchen stairs Miss Sellars paused and called down shrilly to Mrs. Peedles, who in course of time appeared, panting.
"Oh, me and Mr. Kelver are going out for a short walk, Mrs. Peedles. I shan"t want any supper. Good night."
"Oh, good night, my dear," replied Mrs. Peedles. "Hope you"ll enjoy yourselves. Is Mr. Kelver there?"
"He"s round the corner," I heard Miss Sellars explain in a lower voice; and there followed a sn.i.g.g.e.r.
"He"s a bit shy, ain"t he?" suggested Mrs. Peedles in a whisper.
"I"ve had enough of the other sort," was Miss Sellars" answer in low tones.
"Ah, well; it"s the shy ones that come out the strongest after a bit--leastways, that"s been my experience."
"He"ll do all right. So long."
Miss Sellars, b.u.t.toning a burst glove, rejoined me.
"I suppose you"ve never had a sweetheart before?" asked Miss Sellars, as we turned into the Blackfriars Road.
I admitted that this was my first experience.
"I can"t a-bear a flirty man," explained Miss Sellars. "That"s why I took to you from the beginning. You was so quiet."
I began to wish that nature had bestowed upon me a noisier temperament.
"Anybody could see you was a gentleman," continued Miss Sellars. "Heaps and heaps of hoffers I"ve had--_h_undreds you might almost say. But what I"ve always told "em is, "I like you very much indeed as a friend, but I"m not going to marry any one but a gentleman." Don"t you think I was right?"
I murmured it was only what I should have expected of her.
"You may take my harm, if you like," suggested Miss Sellars, as we crossed St. George"s Circus; and linked, we pursued our way along the Kennington Park Road.
Fortunately, there was not much need for me to talk. Miss Sellars was content to supply most of the conversation herself, and all of it was about herself.
I learned that her instincts since childhood had been toward gentility.
Nor was this to be wondered at, seeing that her family--on her mother"s side, at all events,--were connected distinctly with "the _h_ighest in the land." _Mesalliances_, however, are common in all communities, and one of them, a particularly flagrant specimen--her "Mar" had, alas!
contracted, having married--what did I think? I should never guess--a waiter! Miss Sellars, stopping in the act of crossing Newington b.u.t.ts to shudder at the recollection of her female parent"s shame, was nearly run down by a tramcar.