Mu Ruoyan"s face had "thinking of someone" written on it, but his mouth said instead, "Sitting idly all day, often thinking of the time that"s gone by."
I stood opposite him, my tone ambiguous as I spoke, "Oh, it must be about the times you shared with your old acquaintances." Mu Ruoyan didn"t respond. I put one hand on his thin shoulders, and my other hand took the book in his grip, which turned out to be a collection of Gao Changshi"s poems. Li Siming"s room had two parts; the second entrance marked by a semi-hollow carved sandalwood part.i.tion that occupied half a wall. Inside had a bed curtain while the outer part of the room had some antiques and a desk so it can function as a study. When Mu Ruoyan moved in, *I specially arranged a stack of sad poems on the teapoy to feed into his misery.
Originally, I intended for Tian Shu to read one every day and look towards the drifting clouds outside with tears in his eyes — which would surely be a pitiful appearance. But my sincere effort was made into nothing by him. Around two days ago he had found the book of changes from who-knows-where. He got himself a weasel-hair brush and proceeded to note down his thoughts as he read. What can you even note about it? Which fortune tellers on the streets would not have this book splayed on their stall? Whenever I see those small and densely packed comments, I could feel my teeth turning sore. Well, just let him read that he likes it, *I thought. It"s better than him kicking up a fuss and offing himself. Just last night, he only put down his book and made for the bed after I was already propped up on the bed. He finally picked out a poem today, but he still looks like he"s doing okay.
I scrunched my eyebrows at the book cover. Suddenly, I realised what I did wrong. That"s right, his dear Shan Chengling is a general now, so in sinking into Gao Changshi"s war poems, in reading about the raging battle and sword"s gleam, he could imagine the man in the middle of battle. He just saw Nan Ming carry a pot in the yard and needed to read some poems to refresh his memory on Shan Chengling"s true heroic appearance.
*I thought to myself, I can see through you in a snap. I laughed to myself while giving the book back to Mu Ruoyan, "You"re now -my person, you mustn"t think of your past or your old acquaintances anymore. From today onwards, you may only think of me and the matter between us."
Tian Shu uttered, "That"s quite difficult."
I didn"t expect him to refute it. "What?"
Mu Ruoyan closed the scroll and turned sideways, the cold clear eyes glanced at me. "The heart is not up to oneself, and less likely to listen to another. How can the thought stop once it is told to stop. If I were to agree to it, wouldn"t that mean telling a lie?"
These sharp words were actually uttered to my face by Mu Ruoyan. This thing called "love" was truly fearsome; now that his lover had come, his whole person changed.
I smiled without getting offended, displaying a magnanimous att.i.tude. Pulling a chair in front of the desk, I sat down and poured myself a cup of tea. Mu Ruoyan"s gaze settled on my left sleeve. Only then did I remember, in my sleeves was a solid object meant for Tian Shu. I fished around my sleeves for it and placed it upright on the desk.
A half chitall bamboo tube. fresh green on the outside and polished smooth inside. I asked Mu Ruoyan with a smile, "Do you like it?"
Mu Ruoyan eyed it up and down, then spoke with a somewhat reluctant look, "This brush holder looks simple and charming."
I pushed it towards Mu Ruoyan, "Not a brush holder, take a closer look."
Mu Ruoyan looked more reluctant, he looked it up and down, pondering without saying anything.
I gently smiled, "Since these days you have been reading the book of changes, I got this for you." I tossed in a few copper coins I rummaged out of my sleeve and waved the bamboo tube around. "Later, when you tire of the book of changes, you can calculate fates. How do you like the divination tube?"
Mu Ruoyan looked at the bamboo tube on the table stiffly. I felt good about myself. Whenever I gift, I made sure to pay attention to detail. From Tian Shu"s reaction, he"s definitely touched.
I added warmly, "If you want to calculate someone"s fate, I"ll get you whoever you want in the manor."
Mu Ruoyan"s mouth gaped open to speak, and then he raised up his sleeves to cover his mouth. He coughed loudly, coughing for a while before he spoke haltingly: "Thank… thank you very much for the care…. I only read it from time to time, and not…"
I stood and supported his back, carrying the tea to him so he could drink some, "I also made it in pa.s.sing, it"s not much to be thankful about. If you like this, you can use it as a pastime."
After drinking some tea, his coughs stopped. I put the teacup back on the table, Mu Ruoyan looked at the cup and made an arduous smile.
I gathered the books of poetry that were on the ground and placed them on the desk, all the while talking to fill the silence, "Didn"t expect you to like this. I thought you"d be interested in w.a.n.g Moji"s and Meng Xiangyang"s." Although *I need to depend on Heng Wen"s aid up in heaven if we had to offer poems in a verse-linking game when drinking or something such as that which requires literary talent, as a matter of fact, I also had read poems as a mortal, and could converse on it.
Mu Ruoyan said, "Although poet w.a.n.g and Meng distanced themselves from fame and wealth and wandered, one of them lived comfortably in wealth, the other idly thinking of fame and riches. Openly chasing after fame and wealth would have been better, and more straightforward."
"That"s true, the lord"s cowardly despite his big words. He writes with such prowess, but on the battlefield he is useless. However, how many in this world act as they write? Most had shot up like gentleman Gao." I cheerfully met Mu Ruoyan"s eyes, wanting him to continue the conversation. But he avoided my gaze and stopped talking, he took the books on the desk and putting them back on the teapoy.
I felt a sense of emptiness. I awkwardly chattered some more, then left the room with leisure steps.
Dongjun w.a.n.g was plagued with indecision whether to make his own move or to hold his men back. Deliberations were very frequent, Heng Wen was shut inside every day and haven"t gotten a break at all. I had come across Shan Chengling close to eight times now when walking around the yard, he would be either sweeping or pulling out the weeds. He had a profound mind; facing me, he would greet *me very respectfully, his eyes wouldn"t reveal any trace of his shrewdness. It made me spend the day considering which part of him is better to be stabbed tonight.
I finally saw Heng Wen again when it was dusk. He looked extremely tired, he spoke in a low voice, "That Junw.a.n.g father of yours is not a common headache. You still have to remain here for a while, but I"m afraid if I have to accompany him and his mouth any longer, I"d smite him with lightning sooner or later."
I laughed with him. "Don"t be hasty, I will slowly return the favour I owe you when we get back. Tonight, you can watch me stab Nan Ming as amus.e.m.e.nt, how about that?"
"You spent the day mulling where you should sink your sword in, didn"t you?" Heng Wen moved closer to my ears then said, "At nightfall, I will go into your room and lie in wait."
Those words tickled *my heart. I also lowered my voice, "Where do you think would be good to stab him?"
"Wherever you like, can even stab a hole in his heart. He couldn"t die anyway, since there is Ming Ge. If he falls to critical condition, there is the Jade Emperor. You only need to do the slashing." Hearing what he said, *I quickly went back without stopping.
When night fell I sat on the edge of the bed, glanced at Heng Wen relaxedly leaning on the bedside, gulped, then forced out the words to the man reading under the light, "Ruoyan, it is late. Come sleep with me."
These words are what old Ming Ge made me say before bed each night, I am also forced, alright? So, Heng Wen, can you not make that nasty expression?
But, Mu Ruoyan was already used to hearing it. He extinguished the outer room"s candle and woodenly walked over. He took off his outer robes and unmade his hair. In this lighting, his figure clad only in white inner robes looked all the more thin and slender. His eyes were on the bed, he moved rather stiffly, but still slowly lifted open the blanket and laid down on the bed.
There was only one flimsy blanket on the bed. Starting from yesterday, *I had slept sharing a blanket with Tian Shu.
Heng Wen leaned on the bedpost. "Hey, not sleeping?"
My entire body felt like it was being p.r.i.c.ked by hair-thin needles. In front of Tian Shu, I couldn"t talk to the air, couldn"t answer and couldn"t smile. I firmed my expression and did the same as Tian Shu, leaning up to snuff the candle at the top of the bed before lying back down to sleep.
Every bit of it was completed onerously.
Mu Ruoyan was still thinking of Shan Chengling; his breathing also sounded like the man was not sleeping and was merely lying down. Heng Wen took me out from the body"s openings, he laughed with a low voice, "Every night you sleep with Tian Shu and share a blanket. Have you grown feelings yet?"
I smiled stiffly, "Isn"t it because Nan Ming came that I need to act out my part for real. I only started doing so yesterday, but after tonight I reckon there"d be no need for that anymore."
"Those words before you laid down were said very lovingly." He said.
A shudder rippled through my face, "Ming Ge taught me that. I had to say it."
Perhaps he felt that he had mocked me enough, Heng Wen didn"t continue speaking. We sat down together inside the room, Heng Wen yawned. I said: "It"s been a tiring day for you, actually you should have rested early. Why don"t I lend Li Siming to you, you can get in him and lie down."
Heng Wen spoke languidly, "It"s fine, you and Tian Shu should sleep there, let"s not make things more complicated. I"m also worried it"s easy to get in but hard to get out." He settled himself on the table and got a bit of rest.
At the third watch of the night, a shadow flashed across the window amidst the soughing of the wind. A thin blade slid in from between the cracks of the door and lifted its bolt. The door soundlessly opened, and cold night wind rushed in from the narrow opening of the door. Heng Wen and I grew instantly got excited. The dark figure slipped into the inner room quietly. General Shan, you finally made your move.