Chapter 147: Could Not Hold Back a Fart
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
From Xiao Luo’s point of view, defending someone in court was like being in a debate compet.i.tion. Besides, in addition to having the skills prioritized in a debate – quick, reactive thinking and the ability to express oneself with language – one’s defense in court also needed to be able to convince the presiding judge as well as the two other judges.
To find a way out of the dead-end he’d been forced into, ‘Orator Fu’ had some real skills. One could not help but be impressed!
“Find an opportunity to provoke him!” Xiao Luo instructed Zhang Dashan.
When people were angry, it was easier for them to lose themselves and reveal their weaknesses.
…
Faced with Fu Heyu’s calculated defense, Zhang Dashan stared at him solemnly, saying, “Didn’t you say from the start that we were the ones threatening and intimidating him? Now, what’s all this about him getting angry? Are you saying that, when faced our threats and intimidation, Chen Jianbai was in a position to get angry? Attorney Fu, you say some really interesting things, huh.”
Fu Heyu replied calmly, “Why can’t threats and intimidation lead to anger? When a person’s id is dissatisfied and hurt, and pent-up resentment reaches a boiling point, they become angry. Threats and intimidation…”
He stopped speaking. His expression had suddenly changed because Zhang Dashan was making a degrading gesture at him. He was giving him the middle finger.
At first, Fu Heyu did not take it to heart. He chose to ignore the insult and continued speaking. However, Zhang Dashan upped the ante. He did not just raise his left middle finger, but also his right. He even mouthed the words “f*ck you” at him.
Fu Heyu was instantly infuriated, and his face flushed a deep red color. Pointing at Zhang Dashan, he shouted, “Presiding judge, he’s humiliating me!”
Seeing that Zhang Dashan had his middle fingers raised, the presiding judge knitted his eyebrows deeply. “Plaintiff, please cease your vulgar gesture of pointing the middle finger at once!”
There was an uproar from the audience, who were shocked by Zhang Dashan’s behavior. This was the first time any of them had seen the middle finger being given in a courtroom.
“Is this guy trying to flip the script?” Zhang Yong gasped.
Xu Guansong’s face grew paler by the moment. He was becoming apprehensive about the future of Luo’s Workshop.
“What the h.e.l.l? This bold guy is awesome. I can’t believe that he pointed the middle finger at the opposing defense lawyer in a courtroom!”
“I thought that this would be a boring public hearing. But now, after seeing this, I see it’s no ordinary trial.”
“Haha! He’s really a model for our generation. Powerful!”
This incident created a considerable commotion online, and users left many comments praising Zhang Dashan for his exceptional feat.
…
Zhang Dashan raised his eyebrows innocently as he replied, “Presiding judge, let me explain myself. Just a moment ago, I accidentally poked my finger with a splinter on the table and started bleeding. That’s why I raised it. I didn’t mean to insult anyone.”
“Then why do you have both of your middle fingers raised?” Fu Heyu roared.
To be humiliated in this manner inside a courtroom—and by a nameless n.o.body!—had enraged him entirely.
“Well, I felt like raising just one finger was too boring, but raising two was just enough. There’s a balance between the left and the right, which makes the viewer more comfortable,” Zhang Dashan remarked as if nothing was wrong.
At this, Fu Heyu exploded with rage. When it came to who could spout the most nonsense, Zhang Dashan was in the lead, and there was no way he could beat him. Pointing straight at Zhang Dashan, he appealed to the presiding judge directly, “Presiding judge, I strongly suggest we expel this man from the court. Someone like him who blatantly challenges the dignity of the courtroom has no right to be here and speak on anyone’s behalf!”
“I object!”
Zhang Dashan raised his hand in objection. “Presiding judge, Attorney Fu is prejudiced. He’s discriminating against me because I don’t have a legal license, but everyone is equal before the law. If he can defend the defendant, then why don’t I have the right to represent my company in this case? Can’t you be reasonable here?”
“Sustained. Attorney Fu, don’t get so agitated. The plaintiff has already explained in no uncertain terms that he did not mean to disrespect you and has merely injured his finger, so I will hear no more of this. Plaintiff, do not raise your middle finger again, or I will hold you in contempt of court.” The presiding judge continued in a fair and strict voice, “Will the two gentlemen please return immediately to the case at hand!”
Fu Heyu was boiling with anger. His train of thought had been derailed, so he needed a moment to collect himself.
On the other hand, Zhang Dashan did not need to keep his emotions in check. He just needed to relay whatever Xiao Luo was telling him, so he stood up and announced, “Presiding judge, I have with me here ten news articles that Chen Jianbai has previously published. Please take a look.”
Li Zimeng handed the well-organized doc.u.ments to the judge’s a.s.sistant, who then presented them to the presiding judge.
“On the 4th of January, Chen Jianbai published a news report about a magnitude 6.9 earthquake in Xunyang City with an epicenter longitude at 115.52, epicenter lat.i.tude at 29.51, and a 10-kilometer epicenter. Following this, the information was also spread on the People’s Daily news app and the NetEase news app. However, this information actually consisted of data automatically recorded in the seismologic network system’s backlog. When the news editors checked the data, they discovered it was false and apologized to their users.
“On the 7th of February, Chen Jianbai published a news article ent.i.tled ‘Peking University’s talented alumna returns to her hometown to start an express delivery company.’ He claimed that Ms. Xu, the manager of the Yuantong Express Delivery Company in the s.h.i.+fang District, had won a place in Peking University’s journalism course in the year 2000 because of her distinguished examination results. After she married, she gave up her professional life in Jingcheng, choosing to return to her hometown to start her own business.
“Now, Ms. Xu can not only drive a truck by herself to deliver goods, but she is also a ‘strong woman’ who can carry around a 100 kilograms worth of parcels. The reality is that Ms. Xu had obtained an adult education degree and did not gain admission to the university through the intake examination in the year 2000. During the interview, she even highlighted that she took the specialized subject undergraduate entrance exams!
“Presiding judge, I won’t continue reciting the rest of the eight articles, but let it be known that they are all fake news published by the defendant Chen Jianbai. As you can see, he is not an honest reporter who seeks out the truth. On the contrary, he goes crazy for the public’s attention, and will stop at nothing for it, not even caring about the integrity of the news he writes.”
Zhang Dashan spoke in a loud, resonant voice, and his counterattack this time was very powerful. The color quickly left Chen Jianbai’s face as he sat at the defendant’s table.
In the audience gallery, Fang Changlei’s face changed in the same way. He could not believe that this una.s.suming small fry could whip up such an enormous wave, speaking with reason and producing evidence in such a convincing way.
The presiding judge and the other judges quickly skimmed through the materials that Zhang Dashan had submitted. Then they began to confer with one another.
Fu Heyu saw that the situation was taking a turn for the worse and rushed to interject. “Just because a person has done something wrong, it does not mean that everything he does is wrong, and this fact applies here as well. My client has indeed published several false news articles, but can you reject all the news he has ever published as invalid based on these few examples? Obviously, that is not possible.
“And, going back to the case of Luo’s Workshop’s bread’s poisoning people, the city hospital has already produced a thorough autopsy report. Here it is in black and white, explaining how the man died from Luo’s Workshop’s bread. This is an indisputable fact. It’s…”
“It stinks! Pooh, pooh, pooh! Oh, it’s so smelly.”
Zhang Dashan fanned the air in front of his nose then spat on the floor a few times before asking Li Zimeng in a loud voice, “Department Head Li, don’t you smell something stinky? I couldn’t hold back a fart just now, and I almost ‘sharted’!”
As he said this, the audience was in an uproar, and many people watching burst out in uncontrolled laughter. They thought to themselves that this legal representative from Luo’s Workshop was really too amusing!
On the internet, the commenters were getting heated up again.
“This guy is a living treasure. If not for the public trial live broadcast logo in the top right corner of the screen, I would suspect I was watching the comedy channel.”
“What does ‘sharted’ mean? What does it have to do with farting?”
“He’s talking about sh*t. Hahaha!”
Regardless of the trial’s outcome, Zhang Dashan was already famous. He could no longer escape his fate as an internet celebrity.