"That night I stood before the mirror and studied my face as I unb.u.t.toned my vest and loosened my shirt band at the neck. Suddenly I experienced great relief. For several months past I have felt a strange asphyxiation and a vertigo sensation when wearing formal clothes of any kind, enjoying complete comfort only in the loose neckcloth and wrapper of my private hours. I had thought of asking medical advice, but having acquired a distrust of general physic in my youth, and hoping you might come down, I put it off.
"Unfasten your own top b.u.t.ton, and now prepare to laugh--Martin Cortright is not threatened with apoplexy or heart failure, he"s grown _pudgy_, and his clothes are all too small! Yet but for that boy"s good-tempered ridicule he might not have discovered it.
"Think of it, Richard! I, whom my mother considered interesting and of somewhat distinguished mien, owing to my pallor and slim stature! A pudgy worm belongs to chestnuts, not to books. A pudgy antiquarian is a thing unheard of since monastic days, when annal making was not deemed out of place if mingled with the rotund jollity of a Friar Tuck. You must bear half the blame, for it must be the b.u.t.ter habit that your Martha Corkle"s fresh churned pats inoculated me with, for I always detested the stuff before.
"Graybeard"s stricture, however, struck a deeper chord--"He has material in plenty for his book, but no vital stimulus." This, too, is deeply true, and I have felt it vaguely so for some time, but no more realized it than I did my pudginess.
"No matter how much material one collects, if the vitalizing spirit is not there, no matter how realistically the stage may be set if the actors are mere dummies. The only use of the past is to illuminate and sustain the present.
"Your own home life and work, the honest questions of little Richard and Ian waken me from a long sleep, I believe, and set me thinking. What is a man remembered by the longest? Brain work, memorial building, or heart touching? Do you recollect once meeting old Moore--Clement Clark Moore--at my father"s? He was a profound scholar in Greek and Hebrew lexicology, and gave what was once his country house and garden in old Chelsea Village to the theological seminary of his professorship. How many people remember this, or his scholarship? But before that old rooftree was laid low, he wrote beneath it, quite offhand, a little poem, "The Night Before Christmas," that blends with childhood"s dreams anew each Christmas Eve--a few short verses holding more vitality than all his learning.
"If my book ever takes body, my friend, it will be under your roof, where you and yours can vitalize it. This is no fishing for invitations--we know each other too frankly well for that. What I wish to do is to come into your neighbourhood next springtime, without encroaching on your hospitality, and work some hours every day in the library, or that corner of her charmed attic that Barbara has shared with me. It is bewitching.
Upon my word, I do not wonder that she sees the world rose-colour as she looks upon it from that window. I, too, had long reveries there, in which experience and tradition mixed themselves so cleverly that for the time I could not tell whether it was my father or myself who had sometimes proudly escorted the lovely Carroll sisters upon their afternoon promenade down Broadway, from Prince Street to the Bowling Green, each leading her pet greyhound by a ribbon leash, or which of us it was that, in seeking to recapture an escaping hound, was upset by it in the mud, to the audible delight of some rivals in a "bus and his own discomfiture, being rendered thereby unseemly for the beauty"s further company."
"January 20, 19--.
"Thank you, dear Richard, for your brotherly letter. I make no protestations, for I know your invitation would not be given if you felt my presence would in any way be a drawback or impose care on any member of your household, and the four little hearts that Barbara drew, with her own, Evan"s, and the boys" initials in them, are seals upon the invitation.
"Do not deplore, however, the lack of nearness of my haunts in Astor and Lenox libraries. Times are changed, and the new order condemns me to sit here if I read, there if I take out pencil and pad to copy--the red tape distracts me. The old Historical Society alone remains in comfortable confusion, and that is soon to move upward half a day"s walk.
"But, as it chances, you have collected many of the volumes that are necessary to me, and I will use them freely, for some day, friend of mine, my books will be joined to yours, and also feel the touch of little Richard"s and Ian"s fingers, and of their sons, also, I hope.
"I declare, I"m growing childishly expectant and impatient for spring, like Barbara with her packages of flower seeds.
"You ask if I ever remember meeting one Lavinia Dorman. I think I used to see her with a bevy of girls from Miss Black"s school, who used sometimes to attend lectures at the Historical Society rooms, and had an unlimited appet.i.te for the chocolate and sandwiches that were served below in the "tombs" afterward, which appet.i.te I may have helped to appease, for you know father was always a sort of mine host at those functions.
"The girls must have all been eight or ten years my junior, and you know how a fellow of twenty-three or four regards giggling schoolgirls--they seem quite like kittens to him.
"Stop, was she one of the older girls, the special friend of--Barbara"s mother? If so, I remember her face, though she did not walk in the school procession with the other "convicts," as the boys called them; but I was never presented.
"I"m sending a small birthday token to the boys--a little printing-press.
Richard showed no small skill in setting the letters of my rubber stamp.
It is some days late, but that will separate it from the glut of the Christmas market. Ask Evan to notify me if he and Barbara go to town.
"Gratefully,
"M. C."
IV
WHEN BARBARA GOES TO TOWN
_March_ 4. I like to go to a plain people"s play, where the spectators groan and hiss the villain. It is a wholesome sort of clearing house where one may be freed from pent-up emotion under cover of other people"s tears and smiles; the smiles triumphing at the end, which always winds up with a sudden recoil, leaving the nerves in a healthy thrill. I believe that I can only comprehend the primal emotions and what is called in intellectual jargon mental dissipation, and the problem play, in its many phases, appeals to me even less than crude physical dissipation.
We have seen a drama of the people played quite recently, having been to New York to spend part of a "midwinter" week"s vacation, which father insisted that Evan should take between two rather complex and eye-straining pieces of work. Speaking by the almanac, it wasn"t midwinter at all, but pre-spring, which, in spite of lengthening _days_, is the only uncompromisingly disagreeable season in the country--the time when measles usually invades the village school, the dogs come slinking in guiltily to the fire, pasted with frozen mud, the boys have snuffle colds, in spite of father"s precautions, and I grow desperate and flout the jonquils in my window garden, it seems so very long since summer, and longer yet to real budding spring. We arrived at home last night in the wildest snowstorm of the season, and this morning Evan, having smoothed out his mental wrinkles by means of our mild city diversions, is now filling his lungs and straightening his shoulders by building a wonderful snow fort for the boys. Presently I shall go down to help them bombard him in it, and try to persuade them that it will last longer if they do not squeeze the s...o...b..a.l.l.s too hard, for Evan has prohibited "baking"
altogether.
The "baking" of s...o...b..a.l.l.s consists of making up quite a batch at once, then dipping them in water and leaving them out until they are hard as rocks, and really wicked missiles.
The process, unknown in polite circles here, though practised by the factory town "muskrats," was taught my babies by the Vanderveer boy during the Christmas holidays, which, being snowy and bright, drew the colony to the Bluffs for coasting, skating, etc., giving father such a river of senseless accidents to wade through that he threatens to absent himself and take refuge with Martin Cortright in his Irving Place den for holiday week next year. Father has ridden many a night when the roads would not admit of wheeling, without thought of complaint, to the charcoal camp to tend a new mother, a baby, or a woodchopper suddenly stricken with pneumonia, that is so common a disease among men living as these do on poor food, in tiny close cabins, and continually getting checks of perspiration in the variable climate. During the holidays he was called to the Bluffs in the middle of two consecutive nights, first to the Vanderveers, and requested to "drug" the second a.s.sistant butler, who was wildly drunk, and being a recent acquisition had been brought to officiate at the house party without due trial, "so that he wouldn"t be used up the next day," and then to the Ponsonby"s, where the family had evidently not yet gone to bed. Here he found that the patient, a visiting school friend of one of the daughters, from up the state, and evidently not used to the whirl of the pool, had skated all day, and, kept going by unaccustomed stimulants, taken half from ignorance, half from bravado, had danced the evening through at the club house, and then collapsed. Her hostess, careless through familiarity with it, had given her a dose of one of the chloral mixtures "to let her have a good night"s sleep"; but instead it had sent her into hysterics, and she was calling wildly for her mother to come and take her home. Father returned from both visits fairly white with rage. Not at the unfortunates themselves, be it said, but at the cool nonchalance of those who summoned him.
The butler"s was a common enough case. That of the young girl moved him to pity, and then indignation, as he sifted, out the cause of the attack, in order to treat her intelligently. This questioning Mrs. Ponsonby resented most emphatically, telling him "to attend to his business and not treat ladies as if they were criminals." This to a man of father"s professional ability, and one of over sixty years of age in the bargain.
"Madam," said he, "you _are_ a criminal; for to my thinking all preventable illness, such as this, is a crime. Leave the room, and when I have soothed this poor child I will go home; and remember, do not send for me again; it will be useless."
Never a word did he say of the matter at home, though I read part in his face; but the Ponsonby"s housekeeper, a countrywoman of Martha Corkle"s, took the news to her, adding "and the missus stepped lively too, she did; only, law"s sakes, by next mornin" she"d forgot all about it, and, we being short-handed, wanted me to go down with James and get the Doctor up to spray her throat for a hoa.r.s.eness, and I remindin" her what he"d said, she laughed and answered, "He had a bear"s manners," but to go tell him she"d pay him city prices, and she bet that would mend him and them!"
I took good care not to repeat this to father, for he would be wounded.
He is beginning to see that they use him as a sort of ambulance surgeon, but he does not yet understand the absolute money insolence of these people to those not of their "set," whom they consider socially or financially beneath them, and I hope he never may. He is so full of good will to all men, so pitiful toward weakness and sin, and has kept his faith in human nature through thirty-five years" practice in a factory town, hospital wards, charcoal camp, and among the odd characters of the scattering hillsides, that it would be an undying shame to have it shattered by the very people that the others regard with hopeless envy.
Shame on you, Barbara, but you are growing bitter. Yes, I know you do not yourself mind left-handed snubs and remarks about your being "comfortably poor," but you won"t have that splendid old father of yours put upon and sneezed at, with cigarette sneezes, too. You should realize that they don"t know any better, also that presently they may become dreadfully bored after the manner of degenerates and move away from the Bluffs, and then companionable, commuting, or summer resident people will have a chance to buy their houses.
Shrewd Martha Corkle foresaw the probable outcome the day that the foundation-stone for the first cottage was laid, even before our prettiest flower-hedged lane was shorn and torn up to make it into a macadam road, in order to shorten the time, for motor vehicles, between the Bluffs and the station by possibly three minutes. Not that the people were obliged to be on time for early trains, for they are mostly the reapers of other people"s sowing; but to men of a certain calibre, born for activity, the feeling that, simply for the pleasure of it, they can wait until the very latest moment and still get there, is an amus.e.m.e.nt savouring of both chance and power.
"Yes, Mrs. Evan," said Martha, with as much of a sniff as she felt compatible with her dignity, "I knows colernies of folks not born to or loving the soil, but just trying to get something temporary out o" it in the way o" pleasure, as rabbits, or mayhap bad smelling water for the rheumatics. (It was the waters Lunnon swells came for down on the old estate.) To my thinkin" these pleasure colernies is bad things; they settles as senseless as a swarm of bees, just because their leader"s lit there first; and when they"ve buzzed themselves out and moved on, like as not some sillies as has come gapin" too close is bit fatal or poisoned for life."
Well-a-day! Evan says that I take things to heart that belong to the head alone, while father says that, to his mind, feeling is much more of a need to-day than logic; so what can I do but still stumble along according to feeling.
A shout from beneath the window, then a soft s...o...b..ll on it, the signal that the fort is finished,--yes, and the old Christmas tree stuck up top as a standard. Richard has built a queer-looking snow man with red k.n.o.bs all over his chest and stomach, while Ian has achieved several most curious looking things with carrot horns,--whatever are they? Father has just driven in, and is laughing heartily, and Evan is waving to me.
Calm reigns again. The fort has surrendered, the final charge having been led by Corney Delaney. We"ve had hot milk all around, father has retired to the study to decipher a complicated letter from Aunt Lot, Evan has taken the boys into the den for a drawing lesson, and the mystery of the snow man is solved.
We do not intend to have the boys learn any regular lessons before another fall, but for the last two years I have managed that they should sit still and be occupied with something every morning, so that they may learn how to keep quiet without its being a strain,--sh.e.l.ling peas, cutting papers for jelly pots, stringing popcorn for the hospital Christmas tree, seeding raisins with a dozen for pay at the end--this latter is an heroic feat when it is accomplished without drawing the pay on the instalment plan--and many other little tasks, varied according to season.
Ian has a quick eye and comprehension, and he is extremely colour sensitive, but healthily ignorant of book learning, while Richard, how we do not know, has learned to read in a fashion of his own, not seeming yet to separate letters or words, but "swallowing the sense in lumps," as Martha puts it.
Yesterday, before our return, the weather being threatening, and the boys, keyed for mischief, clamouring and uneasy, very much as birds and animals are before a storm, father invited them to spend the afternoon with him in the study, and Martha Corkle, who mounts guard during my brief holidays, saw that their paws were scrubbed, and then relaxed her vigilance, joining Evan in the sewing room.
After many three-cornered discussions as to what liberty was to be allowed the boys in study and den, we decided that when they learned to respect books in the handling they should be free to browse as they pleased; the curiosities, rarities, and special professional literature, being behind gla.s.s doors, could easily be protected by lock and key.
Father"s theory is that if you want children to love books, no barriers must be interposed from the beginning, and that being so much with us the boys will only understand what is suited to their age, and therefore the harmful will pa.s.s them by. I was never shut from the library shelves, or mysteries made about the plain-spoken literature of other days, in spite of Aunt Lot"s fuming. I did not understand it, so it did not tempt, and as I look back, I realize that the book of life was spread before me wisely and gradually, father turning page after page, then pa.s.sing the task to Evan, so that I never had a shock or disillusionment.
I wonder if mother had lived if I should think differently, and be more apprehensive about the boys, womanwise? I think not; for I am a sun-loving Pagan all through, really born far back in an overlooked corner of Eden, and I prefer the forceful father influence that teaches one _to overcome_ rather than the mother cult which is _to bear_, for so much is c.u.mbrously borne in self-glorified martyrdom by women of their own volition.
I know that I am very primitive in my instincts and emotions; so are the boys, and that keeps us close, or so close, together.
Of course ill.u.s.trated books are now the chief attraction to them in the library, and yesterday, when father went there with the boys, he supplied Ian, as usual, with "The Uncivilized Races of Man," which always opens of itself at the Mumbo Jumbo picture, and as a great treat for Richard, took down the three quarto volumes of Audubon"s "Quadrupeds," and ranged them on a low stand with a stool in front of it. Then, being tired after a hard morning"s work, he drew his big leather chair near the, fire, put on an extra log, and proceeded to--meditate. You will doubtless notice that when father or husband close their eyes, sitting in comfortable chairs by the fire, they are always meditating, and never sleeping, little nosey protestations to the contrary.
Father"s meditations must have been long and deep, for when he was startled from them by the breaking in two of the hickory log, a gory spectacle met his eyes.
Richard was sitting on the hearth rug, which he had carefully covered with newspapers; these, as well as his hands and face, were stained a deep crimson, while with a stout silver fruit-knife he was hacking pieces from a great pulpy red ma.s.s before him.