Chapter 42: The Advanced Animal-Taming Skills
Translator: Nyoi_Bo_Studio Editor: Tennesh
w.a.n.g Qian was responsible for posting, while Li Kun was responsible for following the post and hyping up the atmosphere, but the atmosphere was lively even without them having to hype it up.
There were some spectators in the chat zone that did not know the truth. They posted and asked, "What’s the situation? I didn’t come to the forum for two days and I’m out of the loop? What’s up with this Amazing Fate Pet Shop?"
Enthusiastic spectators replied, "Go scroll through the top page of the pet area and you will know."
These days, various posts and a variety of comments occupied the pet area. Not only were there ones that were opposing Stars Pet Chain Supermarket, but there were also ones that spontaneously shared their experiences of having been tricked and lied to. Even more people lamented how the country would no longer be a country, wondering, "Where could they buy a high-quality pet in the future?"
In the midst of the clamor, there were also people who mentioned the Amazing Fate Pet Shop, saying that this shop had almost no stains at all. On the other hand, there were also people who reb.u.t.ted, saying how it seemed the shop manager had changed, that normally when pa.s.sing by Zhonghua Road, they only saw a young person going in and out and not the middle-aged couple they had seen before.
"Maybe the store was transferred, but the old name was kept. Therefore, even if the shop had no stains before, that does not mean that it’s still pure now."
Right at this time, the pet area moderator who was always MIA put in a mirror post and highlighted it. It was the post that w.a.n.g Qian had posted in the chat zone.
Thus, the spectators of the chat zone and the pet area all surged to w.a.n.g Qian’s post at once. There were hundreds of comments in the blink of an eye!
Having fooled around with the forum for so many years, it was w.a.n.g Qian’s first time seeing a post of his become so popular. He couldn’t help but rub his palms together. "Ready to make big news!"
"Come, come, take a photo with me first," w.a.n.g Qian said gleefully.
"F*ck! Should we reveal our faces?" Li Kun asked.
"Nonsense! What if it becomes big?" w.a.n.g Qian replied.
w.a.n.g Qian stood on the sidewalk. Li Kun took a few steps backward with his phone in his hand and took a picture of w.a.n.g Qian with the Amazing Fate Pet Shop in the background.
w.a.n.g Qian posted the picture with the caption "We have already arrived at the entrance of the Amazing Fate Pet Shop. There are no parked cars at the door; it seems there are currently no customers."
People on the bottom replied in succession, "F*ck! This is the real face of the b.u.mping King w.a.n.g Haige?"
"His face is too big, it covered up everything. I can’t see anything!"
"Do a live broadcast. A written broadcast isn’t satisfying!"
"This shop is very average…"
w.a.n.g Qian promptly typed, "Sorry everyone, we normally only watch live broadcasts instead of being anchormen. We aren’t professionals and can’t even talk successfully in front of the camera. Everyone, please work hard and read the texts."
It wasn’t that easy to be an anchorman, or it would be easy to make money. It required talent and strength as well as some luck. How to create a topic, how to entertain the audience, how to speak eloquently yet not annoy the audience, and how to cleverly deal with things when the audience was being difficult—these were major attributes.
w.a.n.g Qian and Li Kun had no singing or dancing talents, nor did they have a talent for being funny. They loved to play games, but they sucked and were always beaten badly. They talked eloquently when they were texting and chatting on the forum, but when they faced girls or teachers in real life, they became nervous and would stammer. They would definitely make fools of themselves if they were to be anchormen.
The outside of the Amazing Fate Pet Shop was indeed very average. A typical street shop had two residential floors. A blue sign hung on the first floor, the gla.s.s on the French window was brightly polished, the entrance was swept clean, and tulle curtains hung on the window of the second floor.
w.a.n.g Qian typed, "Okay, we are about to go in. Gentlemen of the forum, if we still haven’t come out after thirty minutes, remember to call the police."
"Rest a.s.sured, we will call the crematorium. Go at ease."
"Leave your bank card number and pa.s.sword first!"
"I will take care of your wife and children!"
"F*CK!" w.a.n.g Qian gave the middle finger to the last commenter’s ID. Then he gave Li Kun a meaningful glance, and the two entered the pet shop, one behind the other.
Growing up together, w.a.n.g Qian and Li Kun’s mode of action had long since become fixed. Usually, w.a.n.g Qian decided the general direction to take and took the lead, while Li Kun followed closely behind as a s.h.i.+eld and gave suggestions.
This time was not an exception either. w.a.n.g Qian entered the pet shop first, and Li Kun followed behind. Unexpectedly, w.a.n.g Qian suddenly stopped after taking a few steps into the shop. Li Kun had his head down, posting comments, and he wasn’t paying attention, so he ran into w.a.n.g Qian all of a sudden.
"F*ck! How come you stopped walking all of a sudden? What happened to communicating with our eyes?" Li Kun was complaining from behind and had almost dropped his phone because of the crash. His phone was bought recently with the salary he had earned for a whole summer, and he loved it dearly.
w.a.n.g Qian acted as if he had seen something really horrifying. He didn’t turn around, only quaveringly saying, "Brother, pinch… pinch me…"
Usually, Li Kun played the role of a fool during critical moments—had w.a.n.g Qian taken the wrong medicine[1] and was now taking his business?
He did not pinch w.a.n.g Qian but went around his side, wanting to know what w.a.n.g Qian had seen to make him this scared.
He also became dumbfounded after only taking one glance.
There was a deck chair placed in the shop. A person who looked like a shop manager sat on the deck chair. There was a four-legged folding chair next to the young person, and a golden cat sat on it.
Judging from the cat’s figure, it seemed to have just become an adult.
Its aquamarine eyes, like water in autumn, were squinting and had a refres.h.i.+ng demeanor.
There was also a black and white cat on the other side of the shop manager. From the look of its figure, it seemed to be between the phase of an adult and a kitten. It was curious at this time, and stared at the two people who had just walked into the shop with fear and vigilance.
What had astonished w.a.n.g Qian and Li Kun the most was that a few kittens that were four or five months old were lined up neatly, sitting on the ground, posed in the same way, and facing the golden cat as if they were guards of honor receiving inspection. Not only that, when the young shop manager raised his left hand, the kittens also raised their left paw; when the shop manager raised his right hand, the kittens also raised their right hand; when the shop manager scratched his head, the kittens also followed, scratching their heads with their paws.
"Oh sh*t!" Li Kun slapped w.a.n.g Qian’s shoulder. "Advanced animal-taming skills! This brother has succeeded in cultivating immortality!"
Both of their families raised cats and dogs at home. When they were younger, after having watched some movies about pets, they decided on a whim to train their Nulla Luctus Felis and Pekingese cats to be as obedient as the pets seen in movies. In the end, of course, they failed.
Pekingese cats were a bit better. Although training them wasn’t simple, minimal results could be seen through repeated daily training. Nulla Luctus Felis were more frustrating. They would come over when it was feeding time and would escape right after eating. If you forcefully made them stay, they would use their claws when they got annoyed. After a few days of failure, w.a.n.g Qian and Li Kun felt that they could not blindly train them like this, so they went online to search for information.
Only after reading the information had they understood that training cats was very particular and that not all cats could be trained. It was the same reason not any dog could be a police dog. Why were all police dogs German Shepherds? That was because those types of dogs were highly qualified.
Similarly, only cats that had gentle characters could have the possibility of being trained, such as the Persian, Maine, Brazilian Shorthair, Hibiscus Bobcat, Russian Blue cat, and the Mumbai cat. They also had to be trained starting from a young age, and they had to be trained one-on-one. Even so, the proportion of hard work to reward was not equal—arduous but fruitless.
With the same amount of time spent, it would be better to train dogs, unless you were running a circus.
Seeing the interaction between the kittens and the shop manager, w.a.n.g Qian and Li Kun felt that the previously-investigated information was all nonsense!
Those kittens were the famous Siamese cats, known for their energy and liveliness, and they were being trained one-on-many.
The most important thing was that the actions of these cats were not the regular and simple lay down, crouch, or play dead. Their actions of raising their paw, turning in circles, or scratching their heads were uniform. They were comparable to line puppets!
These kittens were only four to five months old, counting from the time they stopped being nursed. How long could they have been trained for? It was a complete subversion of common sense!
w.a.n.g Qian and Li Kun came to a conclusion. Either the shop manager was a reclusive, skilled person with advanced animal-taming skills, or the cats of the shop had all became mythical creatures…
However, the shop manager with the young appearance did not seem to be a person who cultivated immortality. His dress was very average and did not have any sage-like air.
Li Kun poked w.a.n.g Qian with his elbow. "Didn’t they say pets were not allowed to become mythical creatures after the founding of the nation?"
"Maybe they became mythical creatures before the founding of the nation?" w.a.n.g Qian replied thoughtfully.
At the same time the two were shocked into a mess, the spectators on the forum were crying with hunger and were about to fly the coop.
"Where did they go? How come there are no follow-up reports?"
"F*ck! b.u.mping King and b.u.mping Sage went and did not return. What should we do?"
"The two big vitality leaders and water element leaders of the forum, I can’t sleep without a day of seeing them chat!"
"Above commenter, this is an illness, you need a cure!"
"Maybe they found a gala party and are conducting gay acts. Don’t be anxious! Wait patiently!"
"I am new here. I heard that they broadcast gays acts here?"
"…"
Talking about shock, perhaps no one was more shocked than the witness of the event. After he had taken the kittens out of the display cabinets, he went around to the side near the door to prevent them from escaping, but unexpectedly, they all obediently stayed in place and were motionless.
Fina gave a cry, and all the kittens lined up in a pencil-straight line. They were even arranged in order of size!
It meowed a few times, and this time the kittens did not move.
"Okay. I have already given the order. They will now imitate your actions until I tell them to stop. If you have any suspicions, you can test it," Fina said to Zhang Zian.
Zhang Zian tested it. He raised his left hand, and the kittens raised their left paws. He raised his right hand, and the kittens did the same…
What the h.e.l.l! It really was heretical!
Just when Zhang Zian was amazed by the occasion, w.a.n.g Qian and Li Kun came into the shop and happened to witness the scene.
Seeing the customers, Zhang Zian stood up and asked, "What do the two of you want to order? Or are you guys just looking?"
He normally would not take the initiative to greet customers, instead letting the customers first look around the shop by themselves. He would then go up to them if the customers had questions, but these two customers were really strange. How to say it... They did not seem like customers. Their four eyes were staring straight at Zhang Zian with a look like they were about to strip him naked, and they would stare at him until his heart grew hair…
Zhang Zian thought, "Did they come to look for trouble? Or did I not give them back the money I borrowed from them in the past? No, I don’t even know them."
w.a.n.g Qian and Li Kun connected and exchanged glances. "Let’s rush forward together and bow our heads in salute to Zhang Zian!"
"Master above! Disciple w.a.n.g Qian—"
"Disciple Li Kun—"
"Begs master to take us in!"
"Coach—No, Master, we also want to learn your advanced animal-taming skills!" Li Kun exclaimed.
w.a.n.g Qian slapped Li Kun on the back of his head. "Shut up! Don’t blindly say the truth!"
Are these two people crazy?
What the heck are advanced animal-taming skills?
Zhang Zian couldn’t help but retreat two steps back, and he only replied after being dumbfounded for a while. "That… Which mental hospital did you two escape from? Do you want me to call a taxi to send you guys back?"
After some thought, he made another tough decision. "I’ll pay the fare."
Footnotes:
[1] The phrase "to take the wrong medicine," meant to get out of the wrong side of the bed".