"I have told you," concluded Mariana, with an eager catch at the redeeming grace, "because I want to be truthful."
"My dear girl," responded Anthony, a warm friendliness in his voice, "you might have spared yourself this little piece of a.n.a.lysis. It is as useless as most morbid rot of the kind. It doesn"t in the least affect what I think of you, and what I do think of you is of little consequence."
"But what do you think?" demanded Mariana.
"I think that you know yourself just a little less well than you know that old lady wheeling her cart of vegetables in the street below. Had she, by the way, known herself a little better she would not have flown into such a rage because she spilled a few. If we knew ourselves we would see that things are not very much our fault, after all, and that a few slips the more or less on our uphill road are very little matter."
Mariana glowed suddenly. She looked up at him, a woman"s regard for power warming her eyes. To her impressionable temperament there seemed an element of sublimity in his ethical composure.
"Teach me," she said, simply. Anthony smiled. If he seemed a Stoic to Mariana, it was not because he was one, and perhaps he was conscious of it. But our conceptions of others are colored solely by their att.i.tudes towards ourselves, and not in the least by their att.i.tudes towards the universe, which, when all is said, is of far less consequence.
"I should have first to learn the lesson myself," he answered.
"Would you, if you could?" asked Mariana.
For an instant he looked at her thoughtfully. "Teach you what?" he questioned. "Teach you to endure instead of to enjoy? To know instead of to believe? To play with skulls and cross-bones instead of with flowers and sunshine? No, I think not."
Mariana grew radiant. She felt a desire to force from him a reluctant confession of liking. "Why wouldn"t you?" she demanded.
"Well, on the whole, I think your present point of view better suited to you. And everything, after all, is in the point of view." He leaned against the railing, looking down into the street. "Look over and tell me what you see. Is it not the color of those purple egg-plants in the grocer"s stall? the pretty girl in that big hat, standing upon the corner? the roguish faces of those ragam.u.f.fins at play? Well, I see these, but I see also the drooping figure of the woman beside the stall; the consumptive girl with the heavy bundle, going from her work; the panting horses that draw the surface cars."
They both gazed silently from the balcony. Then Mariana turned away. "It is the hour for my music," she said. "I must go."
The sunlight caught the nimbus around her head and brightened it with veins of gold.
"All joy goes with you," he answered, lightly. "And I shall return to work."
"All frivolity, you mean," laughed Mariana, and she left him with a nod.
CHAPTER IX
According to the theory that vices are but virtues run to seed, moderation was the dominant characteristic of Anthony Algarcife. At the time of his meeting with Mariana, his natural tendencies, whatever they may have been, were atrophied in the barren soil of long self-repression. It is only when one is freed from the prejudices engendered by the play of the affections that one"s horizon is unbroken by a vision of the objects in the foreground, and the forest is no longer lost in consideration of the trees.
And it was under the spell of this moderation that Mariana had fallen.
Her own virtues were of that particular quality of which the species is by no means immutable, and of which the crossing often produces an opposite variety, since a union of negative virtues has not infrequently begotten a positive vice. But Mariana"s character, of which at that time even the verdict of society had not deprived her, possessed a jewel in its inconsistency. Her very faults were rendered generous by their vivacity, and redeemed her from inflexibility, that most unforgivable trait in womanhood, which, after all, is merely firmness crystallized.
And as the lack of formativeness in Mariana left her responsive to the influences beneath which she came, so the anger of yesterday was tempered into the tenderness of to-day, and her nature modified by the changes rung upon her moods.
So far, the influence of Anthony had worked for good. The girl was startled at the wave of gentleness which pervaded her. With a sudden fervor she strained towards an indistinct ideal of goodness, an ideal borrowed in its sanct.i.ty from a superficial study of Thomas a Kempis, and in its unreality from the faded recollection of certain Sunday-school literature read in her childhood. She aspired to be good almost as much as she had once aspired to be famous, and set about it with quite as unprincipled an abandon. But her ambition for holiness was ill-timed. An excess of virtue is often as disastrous a form of dissipation as an excess of vice, and the wreck of one"s neighbor"s peace of mind no less to be deplored than the wreck of one"s own physique. For a fool may jog shoulder to shoulder with a comfortable sinner, but it takes a philosopher to support the presence of an unmitigated saint.
So it was as well that Mariana"s aspirations were short-lived. She confessed them to Anthony, and they were overruled.
"My dear girl," he said, "stop fasting, and don"t wear away your knees at prayer. All the breath in your body isn"t going to affect the decision of Omniscience. The only duty you owe to the universe is to scatter as much pleasure in life as you can. Eat good red beef and ward off anaemia, and give the time you have wasted in devotions to exercise and fresh air. If we are all doomed to h.e.l.l, you can"t turn the earth out of its track by bodily maceration. Evil plus evil doesn"t equal good."
Mariana ceased praying and went out to walk. She was conscious of strange quickenings of sympathy. She loved the world and the people that pa.s.sed her and the children laughing in the gutter. She bought a pot of primroses from the flower-stall at the corner, and, having spent a week"s car-fare, walked a couple of miles in the sun to carry them to a rheumatic old lady who had once been kind to her. With patient good-humor she sat an hour in the sick-room, and, when she left, the rheumatic old lady kissed and blessed her.
The praise stirred her pulses with pleasure. She wondered if she might not become a Sister of Charity and spend her life in ministering to others, and when a ragged boot-black in the street begged for a dime she gave him the money she had saved for a pair of gloves, and glorified the sacrifice by the smile of a Saint Elizabeth. She felt that she would like to give some one the coat from her back, and, as she pa.s.sed in and out of the crowd around her, her heart stirred in imaginative sympathy for humanity. That vital recognition of the fellowship of man which is as transient as it is inspiring, uplifted her. She wished that some one from the crowd would single her out, saying, "I am wretched, comfort me!" or, "I am starving, feed me!"
But no one did so. They looked at her with indifferent eyes, and her impulses recoiled upon themselves. At that moment she felt capable of complete self-abnegation in the cause of mankind, and even commonplace goodness possessed an attraction. But she realized that the desire to sacrifice is short-lived, and that, after all, it is easier to lay down one"s life for the human race than to endure the idiosyncrasies of its atoms.
To us who adopt the proprieties as a profession and wear respectability for a mantle, unauthorized impulses in any form are to be contemned, and Mariana, flushed with generous desires, was as unacceptable as Mariana submerged in self.
After paying a couple of calls the girl"s spirit of altruism evaporated.
It was warm and close, and the sun made her head ache, while the fatigue from the unusual exercise produced a fit of ill-humor. She wondered why she had left her room, and then looked at her soiled gloves and regretted her encounter with the boot-black. The recollection of the pot of primroses and the week"s car-fare caused her even more annoyance.
A block from The Gotham she ran upon Jerome Ardly, and her irritation vanished.
"h.e.l.lo!" he e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed, "you are as white as a sheet. Too much September sun. Had luncheon?"
"Yes," responded Mariana; and she added, plaintively, "I am so tired. I have walked myself to death--and all for nothing."
"Form of monomania?" he inquired, sympathetically. "Nothing short of arrant idiocy would take any one out for nothing on a day like this."
Mariana looked at him and laughed. "I have been paying calls," she said.
"I went to see Mrs. Simpson and she told me all about the rights of women. It was very instructive."
"If they resemble the rights of man," remarked Ardly, "they are not to be seen, heard, or felt."
"Ah, but it is all the fault of men," responded Mariana; "she told me so. She said that men were the only things that kept us back."
Ardly laughed.
"And you?" he inquired.
"I! Oh, I agreed with her! I told her that if men hindered us we would stamp them out."
"The devil you did!" retorted Ardly. "I know of no one better fitted for the job. You will begin on your fellow-lodgers, I suppose. As if you had not been treading on our hearts for the last year!"
Mariana lowered her parasol and entered The Gotham. As she mounted the stairs she turned towards him. The time had been when the presence of Jerome Ardly had caused a flutter among the tremulous strings of her heart, but that had been before Anthony crossed her horizon. And yet coquetry was not extinguished. "_Our?_" she emphasized, smiling.
Ardly grasped at the hand which lay upon the railing, but Mariana eluded him.
"Why, all of us," he returned, with unabashed good-nature--"poor devils that we are! Myself, Nevins, Mr. Paul, to say nothing of Algarcife."
Mariana"s color rose swiftly. "Oh, nonsense!" she laughed, and sped upward.
Upon the landing Mr. Nevins opened the door of his studio and greeted them.
"I say, Miss Musin, won"t you come and have a look at "Andromeda"?"
Mariana entered the studio, and Ardly followed her. In the centre of the room a tea-table was spread, and Miss Freighley, a smear of yellow ochre on the sleeve where she had accidentally wiped her brush, was engaged in brewing the beverage. Upon the hearth-rug Juliet Hill was standing, her tall, undeveloped figure and vivid hair relieved against a dull-brown hanging, and around the "Andromeda" a group of youthful artists were gathered.
"How delightful!" exclaimed Mariana, genially. She kissed Miss Freighley, and pressed the extended hands of the others with demonstrative cordiality.
"Oh, if I could only paint!" she said to Miss Freighley, in affectionate undertones. "If I could only go about with a box of brushes, without feeling silly, and wear a smudge of paint upon my sleeve without being dishonest." And she wiped Miss Freighley"s sleeve upon her handkerchief.