No pen can do justice to the extravagance and frolic inseparable from the character of of the Irish people; nor has any system of philosophy been discovered that can with moral fitness be applied to them.
Phrenology fails to explain it; for, so far as the craniums of Irishmen are concerned, according to the most capital surveys. .h.i.therto made and reported on, it appears that, inasmuch as their moral and intellectual organs predominate over the physical and sensual, the people ought, therefore, to be ranked at the very tip-top of morality. We would warn the phrenologists, however, not to be too sanguine in drawing inferences from an examination of Paddy"s head. Heaven only knows the scenes in which it is engaged, and the protuberances created by a long life of hard fighting. Many an organ and development is brought out on it by the cudgel, that never would have appeared had Nature been left to herself.
Drinking, fighting, and swearing, are the three great characteristics of every people. Paddy"s love of fighting and of whiskey has been long proverbial; and of his tact in swearing much has also been said. But there is one department of oath-making in which he stands unrivalled and unapproachable; I mean the alibi. There is where he shines, where his oath, instead of being a mere matter of fact or opinion, rises up into the dignity of epic narrative, containing within itself, all the complexity of machinery, harmony of parts, and fertility of invention, by which your true epic should be characterized.
The Englishman, whom we will call the historian in swearing, will depose to the truth of this or that fact, but there the line is drawn; he swears his oath so far as he knows, and stands still. "I"m sure, for my part, I don"t know; I"ve said all I knows about it," and beyond this his besotted intellect goeth not.
The Scotchman, on the other hand, who is the metaphysician in swearing, sometimes borders on equivocation. He decidedly goes farther than the Englisman, not because he has less honesty, but more prudence. He will a.s.sent to, or deny a proposition; for the Englishman"s "I don"t know,"
and the Scotchman"s "I dinna ken," are two very distinct a.s.sertions when properly understood. The former stands out a monument of dulness, an insuperable barrier against inquiry, ingenuity, and fancy; but the latter frequently stretches itself so as to embrace hypothetically a particular opinion.
But Paddy! Put him forward to prove an alibi for his fourteenth or fifteenth cousin, and you will be gratified by the pomp, pride, and circ.u.mstance of true swearing. Every oath with him is an epic--pure poetry, abounding with humor, pathos, and the highest order of invention and talent. He is not at ease, it is true, under facts; there is something too commonplace in dealing with them, which his genius scorns.
But his flights--his flights are beautiful; and his episodes admirable and happy. In fact, he is an improvisatore at oath-taking; with this difference, that his extempore oaths possess all the ease and correctness of labor and design.
He is not, however, _altogether_ averse to facts: but, like your true poet, he veils, changes, and modifies them with such skill, that they possess all the merit and graces of fiction. If he happen to make an a.s.sertion incompatible with the plan of the piece, his genius acquires fresh energy, enables him to widen the design, and to create new machinery, with such happiness of adaptation, that what appeared out of proportion of character is made, in his hands, to contribute to the general strength and beauty of the oath.
"Tis true, there is nothing perfect under the sun; but if there were, it would certainly be Paddy at an _alibi_. Some flaws, no doubt, occur; some slight inaccuracies may be noticed by a critical eye; an occasional anachronism stands out, and a mistake or so in geography; but let it be recollected that Paddy"s alibi is but a human production; let us not judge him by harsher rules than those which we apply to Homer, Virgil, or Shakspeare.
"Aliquando bonus dormitat Homerus," is allowed on all hands. Virgil made Dido and AEneas contemporary, though they were not so; and Shakspeare, by the creative power of his genius, changed an inland town into a seaport. Come, come, have bowels. Let epic swearing be treated with the same courtesy shown to epic poetry, that is, if both are the production of a rare genius. I maintain, that when Paddy commits a blemish he is too harshly admonished for it. When he soars out of sight here, as occasionally happens, does he not frequently alight somewhere about Sydney Bay, much against his own inclination? And if he puts forth a hasty production, is he not compelled, for the s.p.a.ce of seven or fourteen years, to revise his oath? But, indeed, few words of fiction are properly encouraged in Ireland.
It would be unpardonable in us, however, to overlook the beneficial effects of Paddy"s peculiar genius in swearing alibis. Some persons, who display their own egregious ignorance of morality, may be disposed to think that it tends to lessen the obligation of an oath, by inducing a habit among the people of swearing to what is not true. We look upon such persons as very dangerous to Ireland and to the repeal of the Union; and we request them not to push their principles too far in the disturbed parts of the country. Could society hold together a single day, if nothing but truth were spoken, would not law and lawyers soon become obsolete, if nothing but truth were sworn what would become of parliament if truth alone were uttered there? Its annual proceedings might be dispatched in a month. Fiction is the basis of society, the bond of commercial prosperity, the channel of communication between nation and nation, and not unfrequently the interpreter between a man and his own conscience.
For these, and many other reasons which we could adduce, we say with Paddy, "Long life to fiction!" When a.s.sociated with swearing, it shines in its brightest colors. What, for instance, is calculated to produce the best and purest of the moral virtues so beautifully, as the swearing an alibi? Here are fort.i.tude and a love of freedom resisting oppression; for it is well known that all law is oppression in Ireland.
There is compa.s.sion for the peculiar state of the poor boy, who, perhaps, only burned a family in their beds; benevolence to prompt the generous effort in his behalf; disinterestedness to run the risk of becoming an involuntary absentee; fort.i.tude in encountering a host of brazen-faced lawyers; patience under the unsparing gripe of a cross-examiner; perseverance in conducting the oath to its close against a host of difficulties; and friendship, which bottoms and crowns them all.
Paddy"s merits, however, touching the alibi, rest not here. Fiction on these occasions only teaches him how to perform a duty. It may be, that he is under the obligation of a previous oath not to give evidence against certain of his friends and a.s.sociates. Now, could anything in the whole circle of religion or ethics be conceived that renders the epic style of swearing so inc.u.mbent upon Paddy? There is a kind of moral fitness in all things; for where the necessity of invention exists, it is consolatory to reflect that the ability to invent is bestowed along with it.
Next to the alibi comes Paddy"s powers in sustaining a cross-examination. Many person thinks that this is his forte; but we cannot yield to such an opinion, nor compromise his originality of conception in the scope and plan of an alibi. It is marked by a minuteness of touch, and a peculiarity of expression which give it every appearance of real life. The circ.u.mstances are so well imagined, the groups so naturally disposed, the coloring so finished, and the background in such fine perspective, that the whole picture presents you with such keeping and _vraisemblance_, as could be accomplished only by the genius of a master.
In point of interest, however, we must admit that his ability in a cross-examination ranks next to his skill in planning an alibi. There is, in the former, a versatility of talent that keeps him always ready; a happiness of retort, generally disastrous to the wit of the most established cross-examiner; an apparent simplicity, which is quite as impenetrable as the lawyer"s a.s.surance; a _vis comica_, which puts the court in tears; and an originality of sorrow, that often convulses it with laughter. His resources, when he is pressed, are inexhaustible; and the address, with which he contrives to gain time, that he may suit his reply to the object of his evidence, is beyond all praise. And yet his appearance when he mounts the table is anything but prepossessing; a sheepish look, and a loose-jointed frame of body, wrapped in a frieze great-coat, do not promise much. Nay, there is often a rueful blank expression in his visage, which might lead a stranger to antic.i.p.ate nothing but blunders and dulness. This, however, is hypocrisy of the first water. Just observe the tact with which he places his caubeen upon the table, his kippeen across it, and the experienced air with which he pulls up the waistbands of his breeches, absolutely girding his loins for battle. "Tis true his blue eye has at present nothing remarkable in it, except a drop or to of the native; but that is not remarkable.
[Ill.u.s.tration: PAGE 919-- A rueful blank expression in his visage]
When the direct examination has been concluded, nothing can be finer than the simplicity with which he turns round to the lawyer who is to cross-examine him. Yet, as if conscious that firmness and caution are his main guards, he again pulls up his waistbands with a more vigorous. .h.i.tch, looks shyly into the very eyes of his opponent, and awaits the first blow.
The question at length comes; and Paddy, after having raised the collar of his big coat on his shoulder, and twisted up the shoulder along with it, directly puts the query back to the lawyer, without altering a syllable of it, for the purpose of ascertaining more accurately whether that is the precise question that has been put to him; for Paddy is conscientious. Then is the science displayed on both sides. The one, a veteran, trained in all the technicalities of legal puzzles, irony, blarney, sarcasm, impudence, stock jokes, quirks, rigmarolery, brow-beating, ridicule, and subtlety; the other a poor peasant, relying only upon the justice of a good cause and the gifts of nature; without either experience, or learning, and with nothing but his native modesty to meet the forensic effrontery of his antagonist.
Our readers will perceive that the odds are a thousand to one against Paddy; yet, when he replies to a hackneyed genius at cross-examination, how does it happen that he uniformly elicits those roars of laughter which rise in the court, and convulse it from the judge to the crier? In this laugh, which is usually at the expense of the cross-examiner, Paddy himself always joins, so that the counsel has the double satisfaction of being made not only the jest of the judge and his brother lawyers, but of the ragged witness whom he attempted to make ridiculous.
It is not impossible that this merry mode of dispensing justice may somewhat encourage Paddy in that independence of mind which relishes not the idea of being altogether bound by oaths that are too often administered with a jocular spirit. To most of the Irish in general an oath is a solemn, to some, an awful thing. Of this wholesome reverence for its sanction, two or three testimonies given in a court of justice usually cured them. The indifferent, business-like manner in which the oaths are put, the sing-song tone of voice, the rapid utterance of the words, give to this solemn act an appearance of excellent burlesque, which ultimately renders the whole proceedings remarkable for the absence of truth and reality; but, at the same time, gives them unquestionable merit as a dramatic representation, abounding with fiction, well related and ably acted.
Thumb-kissing is another feature in Paddy"s adroitness too important to be pa.s.sed over in silence. Here his tact shines out again! It would be impossible for him, in many cases, to meet the perplexities of a cross-examination so cleverly as he does, if he did not believe that he had, by kissing his thumb instead of the book, actually taken no oath, and consequently given to himself a wider range of action. We must admit, however, that this very circ.u.mstance involves him in difficulties which are sometimes peculiarly embarra.s.sing. Taking everything into consideration, the prospect of freedom for his sixth cousin, the consciousness of having kissed his thumb, or the consoling reflection that he swore only on a Law Bible, it must be granted that the opportunities presented by a cross-examination are well calculated to display his wit, humor, and fertility of invention. He is accordingly great in it; but still we maintain that his execution of an alibi is his ablest performance, comprising, as it does, both the conception and construction of the work.
Both the oaths and imprecations of the Irish display, like those who use them, indications of great cruelty and great humor. Many of the former exhibit that ingenuity which comes out when Paddy is on his cross-examination in a court of justice. Every people, it is true, have resorted to the habit of mutilating or changing in their oaths the letters which form the Creator"s name; but we question if any have surpa.s.sed the Irish in the cleverness with which they accomplish it.
Mock oaths are habitual to Irishmen in ordinary conversation; but the use of any or all of them is not considered to const.i.tute an oath: on the contrary, they are in the mouths of many who would not, except upon a very solemn occasion indeed, swear by the name of the Deity in its proper form.
The ingenuity of their mock oaths is sufficient to occasion much perplexity to any one disposed to consider it in connection with the character and moral feelings of the people. Whether to note it as a reluctance on their part to incur the guilt of an oath, or as a proof of habitual tact in evading it by artifice, is manifestly a difficulty hard to be overcome. We are decidedly inclined to the former; for although there is much laxity of principle among Irishmen, naturally to be expected from men whose moral state has been neglected by the legislature, and deteriorated by political and religious asperity, acting upon quick pa.s.sions and badly regulated minds--yet we know that they possess, after all, a strong, but vague undirected sense of devotional feeling and reverence, which are a.s.sociated with great crimes and awfully dark shades of character. This explains one chief cause of the sympathy which is felt in Ireland for criminals from whom the law exacts the fatal penalty of death; and it also accounts, independently of the existence of any illegal a.s.sociation, for the terrible retribution inflicted upon those who come forward to prosecute them.
It is not in Ireland with criminals as in other countries, where the character of a murderer or incendiary is notoriously bad, as resulting from a life of gradual profligacy and villany. Far from it. In Ireland you will find those crimes perpetrated by men who are good fathers, good husbands, good sons, and good neighbors--by men who would share their last morsel or their last shilling with a fellow-creature in distress--who would generously lose their lives for a man who had obliged them, provided he had not incurred their enmity--and who would protect a defenseless stranger as far as lay in their power. There are some mock oaths among Irishmen which must have had their origin amongst those whose habits of thought were much more elevated than could be supposed to characterize the lower orders. "By the powers of death" is never now used as we have written it; but the ludicrous travestie of it, "by the powdhors o" delf," is quite common. Of this and other mock oaths it may be right to observe, that those who swear by them are in general ignorant of their proper origin. There are some, however, of this description whose original form is well known. One of these Paddy displays considerable ingenuity in using. "By the cross" can scarcely be cla.s.sed under the mock oaths, but the manner in which it is pressed into a.s.severations is amusing. When Paddy is affirming a truth he swears "by the cra.s.s" simply, and this with him is an oath of considerable obligation. He generally, in order to render it more impressive, accompanies it with suitable action, that is, he places the forefinger of each hand across, that he may a.s.sail you through two senses instead of one. On the contrary, when he intends to hoax you by a.s.serting what is not true, he ingeniously multiplies the oath, and swears "by the five crashes," that is by his own five fingers, placing at the same time his four fingers and his thumbs across each other in a most impressive and vehement manner. Don"t believe him then--the knave is lying as fast as possible, and with no remorse. "By the cra.s.s o" Christ" is an oath of much solemnity, and seldom used in a falsehood. Paddy also often places two bits of straws across, and sometimes two sticks, upon which he swears with an appearance of great heat and sincerity--_sed caveto!_
Irishmen generally consider iron as a sacred metal. In the interior of the country, the thieves (but few in number) are frequently averse to stealing it. Why it possesses this hold upon their affections it is difficult to say, but it is certain that they rank it among their sacred things, consider that to find it is lucky, and nail it over their doors when found in the convenient shape of a horse-shoe. It is also used as a medium of a.s.serting truth. We believe, however, that the sanction it imposes is not very strong. "By this blessed iron!"--"by this blessed an" holy iron!" are oaths of an inferior grade; but if the circ.u.mstance on which they are founded be a matter of indifference, they seldom depart from truth in using them.
We have said that Paddy, when engaged in a fight, is never at a loss for a weapon, and we may also affirm that he is never at a loss for an oath. When relating a narrative, or some other circ.u.mstance of his own invention, if contradicted, he will corroborate it, in order to sustain his credit or produce the proper impression, by an abrupt oath upon the first object he can seize. "Arrah, nonsense! by this pipe in my hand, it"s as thrue as"--and then, before he completes the ill.u.s.tration, he goes on with a fine specimen of equivocation--"By the stool I"m sittin"
an, it is; an" what more would, you have from me barrin" I take my book oath of it?" Thus does he, under the mask of an insinuation, induce you to believe that he has actually sworn it, whereas the oath is always left undefined and incomplete.
Sometimes he is exceedingly comprehensive in his adjurations, and swears upon a magnificent scale; as, for instance,--"By the contints of all the books that ever wor opened an" shut, it"s as thrue as the sun to the dial." This certainly leaves "the five cra.s.ses" immeasurably behind.
However, be cautious, and not too confident in taking so sweeping and learned an oath upon trust, notwithstanding its imposing effect. We grant, indeed, that an oath which comprehends within its scope all the learned libraries of Europe, including even the Alexandrian of old, is not only an erudite one, but establishes in a high degree the taste of the swearer, and displays on his part an uncommon grasp of intellect.
Still we recommend you, whenever you hear an alleged fact substantiated by it, to set your ear as sharply as possible; for, after all, it is more than probable that every book by which he has sworn might be contained in a nutsh.e.l.l. The secret may be briefly explained:--Paddy is in the habit of subst.i.tuting the word never for ever. "By all the books that never wor opened or shut," the reader perceives, is only a nourish of trumpets--a mere delusion of the enemy.
In fact, Paddy has oaths rising gradually from the lying ludicrous to the superst.i.tious solemn, each of which finely ill.u.s.trates the nature of the subject to which it is applied. When he swears "By the contints o"
Moll Kelly"s Primer," or "By the piper that played afore Moses," you are, perhaps, as strongly inclined to believe him as when he draws upon a more serious oath; that is, you almost regret the thing is not the gospel that Paddy a.s.serts it to be. In the former sense, the humorous narrative which calls forth the laughable burlesque of "By the piper o"
Moses," is usually the richest lie in the whole range of fiction.
Paddy is, in his ejaculatory, as well as in all his other mock oaths, a kind, of smuggler in morality, imposing as often as he can upon his own conscience, and upon those who exercise spiritual authority over him.
Perhaps more of his oaths are blood-stained than would be found among the inhabitants of all Christendom put together.
Paddy"s oaths in his amours are generally rich specimens of humorous knavery and cunning. It occasionally happens--but for the honor of our virtuous countrywomen, we say but rarely--that by the honey of his flattering and delusive tongue, he succeeds in placing some unsuspecting girl"s reputation in rather a hazardous predicament. When the priest comes to investigate the affair, and to cause him to make compensation to the innocent creature who suffered by his blandishments, it is almost uniformly ascertained that, in order to satisfy her scruples as to the honesty of his promises, he had sworn marriage to her on a book of ballads!!! In other cases blank books have been used for the same purpose.
If, however, you wish to pin Paddy up in a corner, get him a Relic, a Catholic prayer-book, or a Douay Bible to swear upon. Here is where the fox--notwithstanding all his turnings and windings upon heretic Bibles, books, or ballads, or mock oaths--is caught at last. The strongest principle in him is superst.i.tion. It may be found as the prime mover in his best and worst actions. An atrocious man, who is superst.i.tious, will perform many good and charitable actions, with a hope that their merit in the sight of G.o.d may cancel the guilt of his crimes. On the other hand, a good man, who is superst.i.tiously the slave of his religious opinions, will lend himself to those illegal combinations, whose object is, by keeping ready a system of organized opposition to an heretical government, to fulfil, if a political crisis should render it practicable, the absurd prophecies of Pastorini and Columbkil. Although the prophecies of the former would appear to be out of date to a rational reader, yet Paddy, who can see farther into prophecy than any rational reader, honestly believes that Pastorini has left for those who are superst.i.tiously given, sufficient range of expectation in several parts of his work.
We might enumerate many other oaths in frequent use among the peasantry; but as our object is not to detail them at full length, we trust that those already specified may be considered sufficient to enable our readers to get a fuller insight into their character, and their moral influence upon the people.
The next thing which occurs to us in connection with the present subject, is cursing; and here again Paddy holds the first place. His imprecations are often full, bitter, and intense. Indeed, there is more poetry and epigrammatic point in them than in those of any other country in the world.
We find it a difficult thing to enumerate the Irish curses, so as to do justice to a subject so varied and so liable to be shifted and improved by the fertile genius of those who send them abroad. Indeed, to reduce them into order and method would be a task of considerable difficulty.
Every occasion, and every fit of pa.s.sion, frequently produce a new curse, perhaps equal in bitterness to any that has gone before it.
Many of the Irish imprecations are difficult to be understood, having their origin in some historical event, or in poetical metaphors that require a considerable process of reasoning to explain them. Of this twofold cla.s.s is that general one, "The curse of Cromwell on you!" which means, may you suffer all that a tyrant like Cromwell would inflict! and "The curse o"the crows upon you!" which is probably an allusion to the Danish invasion--a raven being the symbol of Denmark; or it may be tantamount to "May you rot on the hills, that the crows may feed upon your carca.s.s!" Perhaps it may thus be understood to imprecate death upon you or some member of your house--alluding to the superst.i.tion of rooks hovering over the habitations of the sick, when the malady with which they are afflicted is known to be fatal. Indeed, the latter must certainly be the meaning of it, as is evident from the proverb of "Die, an" give the crow a puddin"."
"h.e.l.l"s cure to you!--the devil"s luck to you!--high hanging to you!--hard feeling to you!--a short coorse to you!" are all pretty intense, and generally used under provocation and pa.s.sion. In these cases the curses just mentioned are directed immediately to the offensive object, and there certainly is no want of the _malus animus_ to give them energy. It would be easy to multiply the imprecations belonging to this cla.s.s among the peasantry, but the task is rather unpleasant. There are a few, however, which, in consequence of their ingenuity, we cannot pa.s.s over: they are, in sooth, studies for the swearer. "May you never die till you see your own funeral!" is a very beautiful specimen of the periphrasis: it simply means, may you be hanged; for he who is hanged is humorously said to be favored with a view of that sombre spectacle, by which they mean the crowd that attends an execution. To the same purpose is, "May you die wid a caper in your heel!"--"May you die in your pumps!"--"May your last dance be a hornpipe on the air!" These are all emblematic of hanging, and are uttered sometimes in jest, and occasionally in earnest. "May the gra.s.s grow before your door!" is highly imaginative and poetical. Nothing, indeed, can present the mind with a stronger or more picturesque emblem of desolation and ruin. Its malignity is terrible.
There are also mock imprecations as well as mock oaths. Of this character are, "The devil go with you an" sixpence, an" thin you"ll want neither money nor company!" This humorous and considerate curse is generally confined to the female s.e.x. When Paddy happens to be in a romping mood, and teases his sweetheart too much, she usually utters it with a countenance combating with smiles and frowns, while she stands in the act of pinning up her dishevelled hair; her cheeks, particularly the one next Paddy, deepened into a becoming blush.
"Bad scran to you!" is another form seldom used in anger: it is the same as "Hard feeding to you!" "Bad win" to you!" is "Ill health to you!"
it is nearly the same as "Consumin" (consumption) to you!" Two other imprecations come under this head, which we will cla.s.s together, because they are counterparts of each other, with this difference, that one of them is the most subtilely and intensely withering in its purport that can well be conceived. The one is that common curse, "Bad "cess to you!"
that is, bad success to you: we may identify it with "Hard fortune to you!" The other is a keen one, indeed--"Sweet bad luck to you!" Now, whether we consider the epithet sweet as bitterly ironical, or deem it as a wish that prosperity may harden the heart to the accomplishment of future d.a.m.nation, as in the case of Dives, we must in either sense grant that it is an oath of powerful hatred and venom. Occasionally the curse of "Bad luck to you!" produces an admirable retort, which is pretty common. When one man applies it to another, he is answered with "Good luck to you, thin; but may neither of thim ever happen."
"Six eggs to you, an" half-a-dozen o" them rotten!"--like "The devil go with you an" sixpence!" is another of those pleasantries which mostly occur in the good-humored badinage between the s.e.xes. It implies disappointment.
There is a species of imprecation prevalent among Irishmen which we may term neutral. It is ended by the word bit, and merely results from a habit of swearing where there is no malignity of purpose. An Irishman, when corroborating an a.s.sertion, however true or false, will often say, "Bad luck to the bit but it is;"--"Divil fire the bit but it"s thruth!"--"d.a.m.n the bit but it is!" and so on. In this form the mind is not moved, nor the pa.s.sions excited: it is therefore probably the most insipid of all their imprecations.
Some of the most dreadful maledictions are to be heard among the confirmed mendicants of Ireland. The wit, the gall, and the poetry of these are uncommon. "May you melt off the earth like snow off the ditch!" is one of a high order and intense malignity; but it is not exclusively confined to mendicants, although they form that cla.s.s among which it is most prevalent. Nearly related to this is, "May you melt like b.u.t.ther before a summer sun!" These are, indeed, essentially poetical; they present the mind with appropriate imagery, and exhibit a comparison perfectly just and striking. The former we think unrivalled.
Some of the Irish imprecations would appear to have come down to us from the Ordeals. Of this cla.s.s, probably, are the following: "May this be poison to me!"--"May I be roasted on red hot iron!" Others of them, from their boldness of metaphor, seem to be of Oriental descent. One expression, indeed, is strikingly so. When a deep offence is offered to an Irishman, under such peculiar circ.u.mstances that he cannot immediately retaliate, he usually replies to his enemy--"You"ll sup sorrow for this!"--"You"ll curse the day it happened!"--"I"ll make you rub your heels together!" All those figurative denunciations are used for the purpose of intimating the pain and agony he will compel his enemy to suffer.
We cannot omit a form of imprecation for good, which is also habitual among the peasantry of Ireland. It is certainly harmless, and argues benevolence of heart. We mean such expressions as the following: "Salvation to me!--May I never do harm!--May I never do an ill turn!--May I never sin!" These are generally used by men who are blameless and peaceable in their lives--simple and well-disposed in their intercourse with the world.
At the head of those Irish imprecations which are dreaded by the people, the Excommunication, of course, holds the first and most formidable place. In the eyes of men of sense it is as absurd as it is illiberal: but to the ignorant and superst.i.tious, who look upon it as anything but a _brutum fulmen_, it is terrible indeed.