"I"m very glad to hear it, Miss Oswald, I a.s.sure you. But I"m only a beginner and a trifler yet. Some day I mean to produce something that will be worth listening to. Only, do you remember what some French novelist once said?--"A poet"s sweetest poem is always the one he has never been able to compose." I often think that"s true of music, too. Away up in the higher stories of one"s brain somewhere, there"s a tune floating about, or rather a whole oratorio full of them, that one can never catch and fix upon ruled paper.
The idea"s there, such a beautiful and vague idea, so familiar to one, but so utterly unrealisable on any known instrument--a sort of musical Ariel, flitting before one and tantalising one for ever, but never allowing one to come up with it and see its real features. I"m always dissatisfied with what I"ve actually written, and longing to crystallise into a score the imaginary airs I can never catch. Except in this last piece of mine; that"s the only thing I"ve ever done that thoroughly and completely pleases me.
Come and see me next week, and I"ll play it over to you."
They walked all round the meadows, and back again beside the arches of the beautiful bridge, and then returned to Berkeley"s rooms once more for a cup of afternoon tea, and an air or two of Berkeley"s own composing. Edie enjoyed the walk and the talk immensely; she enjoyed the music even more. In a way, it was all so new to her.
For though she had always seen much of Harry, and though Harry, who was the kindest and proudest of brothers, had always instinctively kept her up to his own level of thought and conversation, still, she wasn"t used to seeing so many intelligent and educated young men together, and the novelty of their society was delightfully exhilarating to her eager little mind. To a bright girl of nineteen, wherever she may come from, the atmosphere of Oxford has a wonderfully cheering and stimulating effect; to a country tradesman"s daughter from a tiny west-country village it is like a little paradise on earth with a ceaseless round of intensely enjoyable breakfasts, luncheons, dinners, and water-parties.
Ernest, for his part, was not so well pleased. He wanted to have a little conversation with Oswald"s sister; and he was compelled by politeness to give her up in favour of Arthur Berkeley. However, he made up for it when he returned, and monopolised the pretty little visitor himself for almost the entire tea-hour.
As soon as they had gone, Arthur Berkeley sported his oak, and sat down by himself in his comfortable crimson-covered basket chair.
"I won"t let anybody come and disturb me this evening," he said to himself moodily. "I won"t let any of these noisy Magdalen men come with their racket and riot to cut off the memory of that bright little dream. No desecration after she has gone. Little Miss b.u.t.terfly!
What a pretty, airy, dainty, delicate little morsel it is! How she flits, and sips, and natters about every possible subject, just touching the tip of it so gracefully with her tiny white fingers, and blushing so unfeignedly when she thinks she"s paid you a compliment, or you"ve paid her one. How she blushed when she said she liked my music! How she blushed when I said she had a splendid ear for minute discrimination! Somehow, if I were a falling-in-love sort of fellow, I half fancy I could manage to fall in love with her on the spot. Or rather, if I were a good a.n.a.lytical psychologist, perhaps I ought more correctly to say I AM in love with her already."
He sat down idly at the piano and played a few bars softly to himself--a beautiful, airy sort of melody, as it shaped itself vaguely in his head at the moment, with a little of the new wine of first love running like a trill through the midst of its fast-flowing quavers and dainty undulations. "That will do," he said to himself approvingly. "That will do very well; that"s little Miss b.u.t.terfly.
Here she flits, flits, flits, flickers, sip, sip, sip, at her honeyed flowers; twirl away, whirl away, off in the sunshine--there you go, Miss b.u.t.terfly, eddying and circling with your painted mate. Flirt, flirt, flirt, coquetting and curvetting, in your pretty rhythmical aerial quadrille. Down again, down to the hare-bell on the hill side; sip at it, sip at it, sip at it, sweet little honey-drops, clear little honey-drops, bright little honey-drops; oh, for a song to be set to the melody! Tra-la-la, tro-lo-lo, up again, b.u.t.terfly. Little silk handkerchief, little lace neckerchief, fluttering, fluttering! Feathery wings of her, bright little eyes of her, flit, flit, flicker! Now, she blushes, blushes, blushes; deep crimson; oh, what a colour! Paint it, painter! Now she speaks.
Oh, what laughter! Silvery, silvery, treble, treble, treble; trill away, trill away, silvery treble. Musical, beautiful; beautiful, musical; little Miss b.u.t.terfly--fly--fly--fly away!" And he brought his fingers down upon the gamut at last, with a hasty, flickering touch that seemed really as delicate as Edie"s own.
"I can never get words for it in English," he said again, half speaking with his parted lips; "it"s too dactylic in rhythm for English verse to go to it. Beranger might have written a lilt for it, as far as mere syllables go, but Beranger to write about Miss b.u.t.terfly!--pho, no Frenchman could possibly catch it. Swinburne could fit the metres, I dare say, but he couldn"t fit the feeling.
It shall be a song without words, unless I write some Italian lines for it myself. Animula, blandula vagula--that"s the sort of ring for it, but Latin"s mostly too heavy. Io, Hymen, Hymenae, Io; Io, Hymen, Hymenae! What"s that? A wedding song of Catullus--absit omen.
I must be in love with her indeed." He got up from the piano, and paced quickly and feverishly up and down the room.
"And yet," he went on, "if only I weren"t bound down so by this unprofitable trade of parson! A curate on eighty pounds a year, and a few pupils! The presumptuousness of the man in venturing to think of falling in love, as if he were actually one of the beneficed clergy! What are deacons coming to, I wonder! And yet, hath not a deacon eyes; hath not a deacon hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, pa.s.sions? If you p.r.i.c.k us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? And if you show us a little Miss b.u.t.terfly, beautiful to the finger-ends, do we not fall in love with her at least as unaffectedly as if we were canons residentiary or rural deans? Fancy little Miss b.u.t.terfly a rural deaness! the notion"s too ridiculous. Fly away, little Miss b.u.t.terfly; fly away, sweet little frolicsome, laughsome creature. I won"t try to tie you down to a man in a black clerical coat with a very distant hypothetical reversionary prospect of a dull and dingy country parsonage. Flit elsewhere, little Miss b.u.t.terfly, flit elsewhere, and find yourself a gayer, gaudier-coloured mate!"
He sat down again, and strummed a few more bars of his half-composed, half-extemporised melody. Then he leant back on the music-stool, and said gently to himself once more: "Still, if it were possible, how happy I should try to make her! Bright little Miss b.u.t.terfly, I would try never to let a cold cloud pa.s.s chillily over your sunshiny head! I would live for you, and work for you, and write songs for your sake, all full of you, you, you, and so all full of life and grace and thrilling music. What"s my life good for, to me or to the world? "A clergyman"s life is such a useful one," that amiable old conventionality gurgled out this morning; what"s the good of mine, as it stands now, to its owner or to anybody else, I should like to know, except the dear old Progenitor? A mere bit of cracked blue china, a fanciful air from a comic opera, masquerading in black and white as a piece of sacred music! What good am I to anyone on earth but the Progenitor (G.o.d bless him!), and when he"s gone, dear old fellow, what on earth shall I have left to live for. A selfish blank, that"s all. But with HER, ah, how different!
With her to live for and to cherish, with an object to set before oneself as worth one"s consideration, what mightn"t I do at last?
Make her happy--after all, that"s the great thing. Make her fond of my music, that music that floats and evades me now, but would harden into scores as if by magic with her to help one to spell it out--I know it would, at last, I know it would. Ah, well, perhaps some day I may be able; perhaps some day the dream will realise itself; till then, work, work, work; let me try to work towards making it possible, a living or a livelihood, no matter which. But not a breath of it to you meanwhile, Miss b.u.t.terfly; flit about freely and joyously while you may; I would not spoil your untrammelled flight for worlds by trying to tether it too soon around the fixed centre of my own poor doubtful diaconal destinies."
At the same moment while Arthur Berkeley was thus garrulously conversing with his heated fancy, Harry and Edie Oswald were strolling lazily down the High, to Edie"s lodgings.
"Well, what do you think now of Berkeley and Le Breton, Edie?"
asked her brother. "Which of them do you like the best?"
"I like them both immensely, Harry; I really can"t choose between them. When Mr. Berkeley plays, he almost makes me fall in love with him; and when Mr. Le Breton talks, he almost makes me transfer my affections to him instead... But Mr. Berkeley plays divinely... And Mr. Le Breton talks beautifully... You know, I"ve never seen such clever men before--except you, of course, Harry dear, for you"re cleverer and nicer than anybody. Oh, do let me look at those lovely silks over there?" And she danced across the road before he could answer her, like a tripping sylph in a painter"s dreamland.
"Mr. Le Breton"s very nice," she went on, after she had duly examined and cla.s.sified the silks, "but I don"t exactly understand what it is he"s got on his conscience."
"Nothing whatsoever, except the fact of his own existence," Harry answered with a laugh. "He has conscientious scruples against the existence of idle people in the community--do-nothings and eat-alls--and therefore he has conscientious scruples against himself for not immediately committing suicide. I believe, if he did exactly what he thought was abstractly right, he"d go away and cut his own throat incontinently for an unprofitable, unproductive, useless citizen."
"Oh, dear, I hope he"ll do nothing of the sort," cried Edie hastily.
"I think I shall really ask him not to for my sake, if not for anybody else"s."
"He"d be very much flattered indeed by your interposition on his behalf, no doubt, Popsy; but I"m afraid it wouldn"t produce much effect upon his ultimate decision."
"Tell me, Harry, is Mr. Berkeley High Church?"
"Oh dear no, I shouldn"t say so. I don"t suppose he ever gave the subject a single moment"s consideration."
"But St. Fredegond"s is very High Church, I"m told."
"Ah, yes; but Berkeley"s curate of St. Fredegond"s, not in virtue of his theology--I never heard he"d got any to speak of--but in virtue of his musical talents. He went into the Church, I suppose, on purely aesthetic grounds. He liked a musical service, and it seemed natural to him to take part in one, just as it seemed natural to a mediaeval Italian with artistic tendencies to paint Madonnas and St. Sebastians. There"s nothing more in his clerical coat than that, I fancy, Edie. He probably never thought twice about it on theological grounds."
"Oh, but that"s very wrong of him, Harry. I don"t mean having no particular theological beliefs, of course; one expects that nowadays; but going into the Church without them."
"Well, you see, Edie, you mustn"t judge Berkeley in quite the same way as you"d judge other people. In his mind, the aesthetic side is always uppermost; the logical side is comparatively in abeyance.
Questions of creed, questions of philosophical belief, questions of science don"t interest him at all; he looks at all of them from the point of view of the impression alone. What he sees in the Church is not a body of dogmas, like the High Churchmen, nor a set of opinions, like the Low Churchmen, but a close corporation of educated and cultivated gentlemen, charged with the duty of caring for a number of beautiful mediaeval architectural monuments, and of carrying on a set of grand and impressive musical or oral services. To him, a cathedral is a magnificent historical heritage; a sermon is a sort of ingenious literary exercise; and a hymn is a capital vehicle for very solemn emotional music. That"s all; and we can hardly blame him for not seeing these things as we should see them."
"Well, Harry, I don"t know. I like them both immensely. Mr.
Berkeley"s very nice, but perhaps I like Mr. Le Breton the best of the two."
CHAPTER V.
ASKELON VILLA, GATH.
Number, 28, Epsilon Terrace, Bayswater, was one of the very smallest houses that a person with any pretensions to move in that Society which habitually spells itself with a capital initial could ever possibly have dreamt of condescending to inhabit. Indeed, if Dame Eleanor, relict of the late Sir Owen Le Breton, Knight, had consulted merely the length of her purse and the interests of her personal comfort, she would doubtless have found for the same rental a far more convenient and roomy cottage in Upper Clapton or Stoke Newington. But Lady Le Breton was a thoroughly and conscientiously religious woman, who in all things consulted first and foremost the esoteric interests of her ingrained creed. It was a prime article of this cherished social faith that n.o.body with any shadow of personal self-respect could endure to live under any other postal letter than W. or S.W. Better not to be at all than to drag out a miserable existence in the painful obscurity of N. or S.E.
Happily for people situated like Lady Le Breton, the metropolitan house-contractor (it would be gross flattery to describe him as a builder) has divined, with his usual practical sagacity, the necessity for supplying this felt want for eligible family residences at once comparatively cheap and relatively fashionable. By driving little culs-de-sac and re-entrant alleys at the back of his larger rows of shoddy mansions, he is enabled to run up a smaller terrace, or crescent, or place, as the case may be, composed of tiny shallow cottages with the narrowest possible frontage, and the tallest possible elevation, which will yet ent.i.tle their occupiers to feel themselves within the sacred pale of social salvation, in the blest security of the mystic W. Narrowest, shallowest, and tallest of these marginal Society residences is the little block of blank-faced, stucco-fronted, porticoed rabbit-hutches, which blazons itself forth in the Court Guide under the imposing designation of Epsilon Terrace, Bayswater.
The interior of No. 28 in this eminently respectable back alley was quite of a piece, it must be confessed, with the vacant Philistinism of its naked exterior. "Mother has really an immense amount of taste," Herbert Le Breton used to say, blandly, "and all of it of the most atrocious description; she picked it up, I believe, when my poor father was quartered at Lah.o.r.e, a station absolutely fatal to the aesthetic faculties; and she will never get rid of it again as long as she lives." Indeed, when once Lady Le Breton got anything whatsoever into her head, it was not easy for anybody else to get it out again; you might much more readily expect to draw one of her double teeth than to eliminate one of her pet opinions. Not that she was a stupid or a near-sighted woman--the mother of clever sons never is--but she was a perfectly immovable rock of social and political orthodoxy. The three Le Breton boys--for there was a third at home--would gladly have reformed the terrors of that awful drawing-room if they had dared; but they knew it was as much as their places were worth, Herbert said, to attempt a remonstrance, and they wisely left it alone, and said nothing.
Of course the house was not vulgarly furnished, at least in the conventional sense of the word; Lady Le Breton was far too rigid in her social orthodoxy to have admitted into her rooms anything that savoured of what she considered bad form, according to her lights. It was only vulgar with the underlying vulgarity of mere tasteless fashionable uniformity. There was nothing in it that any well-bred footman could object to; nothing that anybody with one grain of genuine originality could possibly tolerate. The little occasional chairs and tables set casually about the room were of the strictest neglige Belgravian type, a sort of studied protest against the formal stiffness of the ordinary unused middle-cla.s.s drawing-room. The portrait of the late Sir Owen in the wee library, presented by his brother-officers, was painted by that distinguished R. A., Sir Francis Thomson, a light of the middle of this century; and an excellent work of art it was too, in its own solemn academic kind. The dining-room, tiny as it was, possessed that inevitable Ca.n.a.letti without which no gentleman"s dining-room in England is ever considered to be complete. Everything spoke at once the stereotyped Society style of a dozen years ago (before Mr. Morris had reformed the outer aspect of the West End), entirely free from anything so startling or indecorous as a gleam of spontaneity in the possessor"s mind. To be sure, it was very far indeed from the centre round-table and brilliant-flowered-table-cover style of the utter unregenerate Philistine household; but it was further still from the simple natural taste and graceful fancy of Edie Oswald"s cosy little back parlour behind the village grocer"s shop at Calcombe-Pomeroy.
The portrait and the Ca.n.a.letti were relics of Lady Le Breton"s best days, when Sir Owen was alive, and the boys were still in their first babyhood. Sir Owen was an Indian officer of the old school, a simple-minded, gentle, brave man, very religious after his own fashion, and an excellent soldier, with the true Anglo-Indian faculty for administration and organisation. It was partly from him, no doubt, that the boys inherited their marked intelligence; and it was wholly from him, beyond any doubt at all, that Ernest and his younger brother Ronald inherited their moral or religious sincerity--for that was an element in which poor formally orthodox Lady Le Breton was wholly deficient. The good General had been brought up in the strictest doctrines of the Clapham sect; he had gone to India young, as a cadet from Haileybury; and he had applied his intellect all his life long rather to the arduous task of extending "the blessings of British rule" to Sikhs and Ghoorkas, than to those abstract ethical or theological questions which agitated the souls of a later generation. If a new district had to be a.s.similated in settlement to the established model of the British raj, if a tribe of hill-savages had to be conciliated by gentler means than rifles or bayonets, if a difficult bit of diplomatic duty had to be performed on the debateable frontiers, Sir Owen Le Breton was always the person chosen to undertake it. An earnest, honest, G.o.d-fearing man he remained to the end, impressed by a profound sense of duty as he understood it, and a firm conviction that his true business in life consisted in serving his Queen and country, and in bringing more and more of the native populations within the pale of the Company"s empire, and the future evangelisation that was ultimately to follow. But during the great upheaval of the Mutiny, he fell at the head of his own unrevolted regiment in one of the hottest battles of that terrible time, and my Lady Le Breton found herself left alone with three young children, on little more than the scanty pension of a general officer"s widow on the late Company"s establishment.
Happily, enough remained to bring up the boys, with the aid of their terminable annuities (which fell in on their attaining their majority), in decent respect for the feelings and demands of exacting Society; and as the two elder were decidedly clever boys, they managed to get scholarships at Oxford, which enabled them to tide over the dangerous intermediate period as far as their degree. Herbert then stepped at once into a fellowship and sundry other good things of like sort; and Ernest was even now trying to follow in his brother"s steps, in this particular. Only the youngest boy, Ronald, still remained quite unprovided for. Ronald was a tall, pale, gentle, weakly, enthusiastic young fellow of nineteen, with so marked a predisposition to lung disease that it had not been thought well to let him run the chance of over-reading himself; and so he had to be content with remaining at home in the uncongenial atmosphere of Epsilon Terrace, instead of joining his two elder brothers at the university. Uncongenial, because Ronald alone followed Sir Owen in the religious half of his nature, and found the "worldliness" and conventionality of his unflinching mother a serious bar to his enjoyment of home society.
"Ronald," said my lady, at the breakfast-table on the very morning of Arthur Berkeley"s little luncheon party, "here"s a letter for you from Mackenzie and Anderson. No doubt your Aunt Sarah"s will has been recovered and proved at last, and I hope it"ll turn out satisfactory, as we wish it."
"For my part, I really almost hope it won"t, mother," said Ronald, turning it over; "for I don"t want to be compelled to profit by Ernest"s excessive generosity. He"s too good to me, just because he thinks me the weaker vessel; but though we must bear one another"s burdens, you know, we should each bear his own cross as well, shouldn"t we, mother?"
"Well, it can"t be much in any case," said his mother, a little testily, "whoever gets it. Open the envelope at once, my boy, and don"t stand looking at it like a goose in that abstracted way."
"Oh, mother, she was my father"s only sister, and I"m not in such a hurry to find out how she has disposed of her mere perishing worldly goods," answered Ronald, gravely. "It seems to me a terrible thing that before poor dear good Aunt Sarah is cold in her grave almost, we should be speculating and conjecturing as to what she has done with her poor little trifle of earthly riches."
"It"s always usual to read the will immediately after the funeral,"
said Lady Le Breton, firmly, to whom the ordinary usage of society formed an absolutely unanswerable argument; "and how you, Ronald, who haven"t even the common decency to wear a bit of c.r.a.pe around your arm for her--a thing that Ernest himself, with all his nonsensical theories, consents to do--can talk in that absurd way about what"s quite right and proper to be done, I for my part, really can"t imagine."
"Ah, but you know, mother, I object to wearing c.r.a.pe on the ground that it isn"t allowable for us to sorrow as them that have no hope: and I"m sure I"m paying no disrespect to dear Aunt Sarah"s memory in this matter, for she was always the first herself, you remember, to wish that I should follow the dictates of my own conscience."
"I remember she always upheld you in acts of opposition to your own mother, Ronald," Lady Le Breton said coldly, "and I suppose you"re going to do honour to her religious precepts now by not opening that letter when your mother tells you to do so. In MY Bible, sir, I find a place for the Fourth Commandment."
Ronald looked at her gently and unreprovingly; but though a quiet smile played involuntarily around the corners of his mouth, he resisted the natural inclination to correct her mistake, and to suggest blandly that she probably alluded to the fifth. He knew he must turn his left cheek also--a Christian virtue which he had abundant opportunities of practising in that household; and he felt that to score off his mother for such a verbal mistake as the one she had just made would not be in keeping with the spirit of the commandment to which, no doubt, she meant to refer him. So without another word he opened the envelope and glanced rapidly at the contents of the letter it enclosed.
"They"ve found the second will," he said, after a moment, with a rather husky voice, "and they"re taking steps to get it confirmed, whatever that may be."
"Broad Scotch for getting probate, I believe," said Lady Le Breton, in a slight tone of irony; for to her mind any departure from the laws or language she was herself accustomed to use, a.s.sumed at once the guise of a rank and offensive provincialism. "Your poor Aunt WOULD go and marry a Scotchman, and he a Scotch business man too; so of course we must expect to put up with all kinds of ridiculous technicalities and Edinburgh jargon accordingly. All law"s bad enough in the way of odd words, but commend me to Scotch law for utter and meaningless incomprehensibility. Well, and what does the second will say, Ronald?"
"There, mother," cried Ronald, flinging the letter down hurriedly with a burst of tears. "Read it yourself, if you will, for I can"t.
Poor dear Aunt Sarah, and dear, good unselfish Ernest! It makes me cry even to think of them."