Pitifully Ugly

Chapter 12.

*"Two, one has three legs, his name is Tripod, and the other is missing an eye. I tend to take in the ones that have already gone through eight of their lives."

"What"s the name of the one missing the eye?" I asked before taking a sip of wine.

"Spike. He"s really tough."

"Tough, huh?" I remembered my ankle mauling and agreed.

I thought cats in general were tough.



"Do you have any pets?"

I shook my head. "Although I am getting to know my neighbor"s dog. She allows me to play ball with her, the dog, I mean."

Marci laughed. "I was going to ask the neighbor or the dog."

I laughed along with her, but on the inside, my brain was chastising me for bringing up Hailey, but still I went on. "We played tennis the other day, and the dog got jealous, so I had to play an extra-long game of catch with her."

"I didn"t know you played tennis," Marci said. "I love to play.

Maybe we could try it sometime."

"I really don"t play all that well, I"m just learning. So how do you handle working with animals you obviously love? I imagine it can be heartbreaking at times," I said, anxious to change the subject.

"I try to disa.s.sociate myself and do what I"m trained to do.

Sometimes I manage just fine, then there are other times that it really gets to me. I"ve learned to look at it like a mechanic does when they"re working on a car. If something isn"t functioning correctly, I try to find out why and correct it."

I watched Marci as she talked about tending to sick and wounded animals. Her compa.s.sion was obvious. She was kind with a generous heart. I should"ve felt like the luckiest girl in the world, and I despised myself for not being able to.

After dinner, we walked to Marci"s car. I thought she was about to open the door for me, but she turned suddenly and leaned against it, pulling me into her arms. "It"s a beautiful night, and it"s still early. Would you like to go dancing? Besides, I feel like I should at least buy you a drink since you insisted on paying for dinner."

1.

*She had me around the waist and was holding me tightly against her. It felt wrong. I fought a wave of claustrophobia as I put my hands on the side of her car. She looked at me oddly, clearly expecting me to give into the embrace. "You seem kind of distant," she said as she released me.

I winced. The doorway to honesty was wide open, and I owed it to her to take that step. "I"m having a bit of a problem. I find myself torn, and I"m not sure what to do."

I took a step back as Marci narrowed her eyes and looked at me. "My neighbor, the one I mentioned earlier...I find myself attracted...to her."

Marci inhaled deeply as her arms dropped to her sides.

"I don"t want to end up hurting you, but I have to be honest and tell you that I"m really conflicted right now."

"Thank you for telling me the truth," she said. "I"ve been there before, I know how if feels."

"You"re a wonderful person, and if I"d met you sooner, I don"t think I"d be where I am emotionally right now."

"That"s sweet of you to say," Marci said somberly. I felt ill.

She surprised me by reaching over and taking my hand. "I"d really like to get to know you better, but I think it wouldn"t be fair to either of us to continue like this. I think you should concentrate on sorting your feelings. If things don"t work out, give me a call, and if I"m available, I would love to try again."

All I had to offer was friendship-just like Hailey had offered me. It sucked to be on either end of that offer.

We ended the night with a hug. I apologized so many times that I think Marci wanted to tell me to shut the h.e.l.l up. I walked through the gate of the courtyard alone. Hailey"s window was still dark, but I felt her there watching me.

2.

Chapter 12.

Canine advice.

I spent a rainy weekend in my apartment in front of the TV watching the most violent movies that I could find. I didn"t want to watch Deborah Kerr and Cary Grant lead me to believe that love conquered all. Instead I watched aliens beat the s.h.i.t out of one another.

When Kalen called, I told her everything, then begged to be left alone. She reluctantly complied. When Monday came, I immersed myself in work and refused to visit the Rainbow Room.

I was finished with that.

The phone rang around lunchtime, and I debated on answering.

When I saw Marvin"s name on the caller ID, I picked it up in case there was a problem.

"Thank you, thank you!" Marvin sang into the phone. "Thank you for my job and thank you for sending me that lovely client.

She tips well."

"Who?"

"Hailey something, she said you referred her, but you forgot to give her my card. She called all the surrounding salons until she found me." Marvin"s voice droned on as my mind filled with thoughts of Hailey. "Locks of gold that felt like silk to my fingers.

She has a beautiful head of hair. I think I enjoyed doing her as much as you."

"I"m glad it worked out for you both."

"If I were you, I"d be chasing her like a dog chases a trash truck. She"s caliente. That means hot, you know."

*"Astute observation, Marvin," I said, trying not to sound sarcastic.

"She talked about you the whole time." Marvin went on like he"d had a pot of coffee and chased it with a Red Bull. "Told me about the day she tried to teach you how to play tennis and you made her laugh like a fool. I"m telling you, girlfriend, there was a gleam in her eyes."

"I"m sorry to cut this short, Marvin, but I have to step out." I didn"t want to hear anymore. It grated my nerves and confounded me that she told me that she wanted just to be friends, but she was gleaming when she talked to Marvin. Talk about mixed signals.

"Okay," Marvin said cheerfully. "Seriously, thank you, Shannon."

I tossed the phone on my desk and groaned when I heard a knock on the door. I threw it open and was surprised to see a very tall, nice-looking man who seemed as shocked to see me as I was to see him.

"I"m so sorry to disturb you. I just realized that I"m supposed to be at 2A, and I see now I wasn"t paying attention when I went up the elevator."

"That"s okay, it happens all the time," I lied, mainly because he seemed so nice, and it dawned on me that he was looking for Hailey"s apartment.

"Have a nice day and I apologize again," he said as he turned and walked away. If things about Hailey weren"t already confusing, they were more so now.

My apartment became extremely oppressive, so I decided to go for a walk. And to my chagrin, I ran into Hailey in the hall.

She looked amazing in one of her dressier business suits. The skirt fit her curves, and I found it hard not to just stand and stare, but when I saw the man I"d met earlier standing not far behind her, I looked down at Fuzzy. Somehow she didn"t complete the ensemble.

"I need a huge favor," Hailey said, looking uncomfortable.

"I have a work function to attend, and my TV died this morning.

Would you keep Fuzzy for me?"

Fuzzy was looking up at me as if to say, please, say yes.

4.

*"Sure, no problem."

"Oh, umm, Shannon, this is my ex-husband, Mark," Hailey said, stepping out of the way.

"We kind of met by accident earlier," he said with a smile when he shook my hand. "It"s a pleasure to be formally introduced, though."

"Likewise," I said with as much of a smile as I could muster.

"You two have a great time." I took Fuzzy"s leash and watched them go. Hailey looked back over her shoulder and mouthed, sorry.

"Fuzzy, I"m in the mood for a long walk. I"m glad you packed your ball."

If dogs smile, she truly did then around a slimy green tennis ball, and we were off.

Fuzzy actually walked me. I followed along behind her as she pranced down the sidewalk, stopping occasionally to sniff something of interest. She walked as if she had a destination in mind, and since I didn"t, I was content to comply with her whim.

We came along a small park that didn"t have any signs that said dogs weren"t welcome, so once inside the fence, I unclipped her leash. She trotted over to a bench and looked at me until I sat.

The ball was then placed in my lap. I thought I knew what was expected. I threw the ball as far as it would go, and she turned and looked at me as if to say, b.i.t.c.h. Did I say to throw it across the park?

She came back and stood in front of me, and this time, she did not readily give me the ball. "You want me to bounce it?" I asked.

Her response was a huffing sound. I did as she commanded. She lost interest after forty-something bounces and lay down on the cool sidewalk in front of me.

"Fuzzy, I don"t know what to do about your mother or your person, whatever you call her."

Her blond head tilted to the side.

"No, really, it"s true. She just wants to be friends right now, and I"m not sure I can take any more friendship. Every time I see her, I want to kiss her and choke her at the same time."

*Fuzzy"s tongue flopped out.

"Yes, like that. None of the friendly peck on the cheek stuff.

I just want to take her in my arms and-" I stopped short and nodded at a couple who pa.s.sed by with odd expressions. I waited for them to get far enough away to continue. "I"m just getting to know her, but I feel something that I can"t keep denying, and I can"t just blurt it out to her."

Fuzzy c.o.c.ked her head again.

"No, not love, but an attraction that I can barely stand. Do you think the feelings are so intense because I can"t have her?"

Bingo, dumba.s.s, was Fuzzy"s expression.

"Is that all it is?" I tilted my own head.

You have the patience of a squirrel, Fuzzy seemed to say.

"Hey, you"re not the picture of patience when you want the ball bounced, either, Ms. Thang."

Apparently, the mention of the ball was her cue. She picked it up and dropped it in my lap. "So what am I supposed to do now?"

I asked as I bounced it on the sidewalk.

Fuzzy caught the ball and returned it to me and dropped it in my hand. You keep playing bal . That solves everything. I heard that loud and clear.

On the way back home, Fuzzy made it apparent that her charge for advice was chicken on a stick. She parked her rump in front of a Chinese restaurant and wouldn"t budge. I looped her leash around a hydrant and stepped inside to place her order, keeping a close eye on her through the window.

Fuzzy was in agreement that we should wait to eat until we got home, though she nuzzled the bag every time she came near.

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