"No, and that was a mistake because if I had, I wouldn"t have wasted a morning going to meet her. I know it"s silly, but I felt deceived. I thought she had potential until she got nasty."
Hailey"s brows did rise then. "Nasty how? Mean?"
"No, not mean, just extremely forward."
Hailey looked away from me and took another sip of her coffee. "Deception is a b.i.t.c.h, isn"t it?"
It wasn"t what she said but how she said it with such disgust.
"I take it you"ve been deceived." She didn"t answer for a minute, and I was afraid I"d ventured into a topic that was taboo. She took her gla.s.ses off and looked at me. Her eyes revealed pain.
"I was the deceiver. I cheated on my husband."
I was thrown by her admission and a bit disappointed. I liked her company and had been kind of hoping that she was gay, too, even though I suspected otherwise.
"I"ve been cheated on before, but I have to say that being the cheater is infinitely more painful." Her voice took on a raspy tone.
"When you"re cheated on, it"s devastating, but friends and family rally around until you get back on your feet. But when you cheat, you realize that you"ve inflicted that kind of pain on someone else, and you"re stuck with that remorse for the rest of your life.
No amount of support or forgiveness can take that away."
4.
*"Did your husband forgive you?"
"Surprisingly, yes, and he"s been a good friend to me." She looked away and bowed her head. "It would"ve been easier, I think, if he would have hated me."
"Sounds to me like you haven"t forgiven yourself."
Hailey shook her head. "No, I haven"t, and I doubt I ever wil ."
"If he"s forgiven you, is there a chance for reconciliation?"
"I love him, but I can"t be a wife."
She looked as though she were about to cry, so I let the subject drop. "So now you share your life with a dog that likes musicals."
I watched her tension evaporate. The wrinkles left her brow and her shoulders relaxed. "Yeah, the unconditional love is great.
Although I do wish she would play tennis. I really miss that."
"Tennis, huh?"
"Yeah, do you play?" Hailey asked.
"I"m a mean badminton player. The concept is the same, isn"t it?" I loved the way she wrinkled her nose in response.
"It"s similar."
"I have a membership to a health club that I never use. They have tennis courts, and I could really use the exercise," I said, hoping that she"d be interested.
She looked at me and smiled. "You look like you"re in pretty decent shape."
I patted my stomach. "That"s because I"m hiding my fluff in this hoodie. This could be a good thing. You can teach me to play tennis properly, and I can work off my pudge. It"s a win-win, at least for me."
"I"d love to," she said with a smile.
"Okay, that"s settled. Now that we"re talking about exercise, I"m hungry."
She really perked up then. "I found a sandwich shop a couple of blocks over. They have all kinds of sprouts and healthy stuff.
Wanna try it?"
I was thinking Mexican with lots of gooey cheese, but when she jumped up and pulled me to my feet, I was helpless but to follow.
4.
*Healthy food sucks. I sat looking down at a gluten-free wrap filled with something that looked like gra.s.s and a cheese that was anything but gooey. The first bite nearly gagged me, but I swallowed it down with green tea that made it tolerable.
"You like?" Hailey asked when she put her half-eaten wrap down and took a sip of tea with the leaves floating in the bottom of her gla.s.s.
I should"ve been truthful and told her it tasted like s.h.i.t, not that I"d ever tasted that, but the flavor had to be close. "It"s great."
The conversation had fallen into a lull. I was at a loss for anything to say because my taste buds were screaming in rebellion.
"It"s a shame about the girl you met. I"m sorry that you were so disappointed," she said suddenly.
I smiled at the way her lips twitched. "My sister tried to warn me away from online dating, but I didn"t take her advice."
"Why did you join?" she asked before polishing off the grotesque wrap. I had no idea how she could maintain such a pleasant expression as she chewed.
"I"m terrible at meeting people."
"You met me."
I pushed my wrap away. "I guess I wasn"t as hungry as I thought. I"ll save this for dinner. As for meeting you, I guess that"s different. You"re easy to talk to, and since we live in the same building, that gives us something in common right off the bat."She smiled. "You did seem kind of nervous the first few times we talked."
"Magnify that a hundred times, and that"s me on a first date."
"I find you charming," she said, meeting my eyes. "If you allow someone to see this side of you, you"d have plenty of prospects."
"And therein lies the problem. When I met Stacy this morning,
4.
*I was so nervous, I thought I was going to be sick a couple of times.
Then when she started talking about...b.u.t.t s.e.x, I flipped."
Hailey laughed so loud that a couple of patrons looked our way. She covered her mouth until she was composed. "What"s the name of this dating site you"re on-booty buddies?"
"No, the Rainbow Room, it"s for lesbians."
Hailey"s lips did that odd little twitch again before she took a sip of her tea.
"Does it make you uneasy that I"m a lesbian?"
"Not at all," she said seriously. "You are who you are, and you seem to be comfortable with that. I think it"s great."
"I don"t think anyone has ever used that word to describe me," I said with a pleased smile.
"Comfortable?"
"Yes."
"Want me to tell you what else I see in you?" Hailey asked with a daring smile. "I"ve been told that I"m supremely accurate with my first impressions."
I leaned back in my chair, unsure if I wanted to hear what she had to say. "Is it bad?"
She shook her head. "I don"t think so."
"Okay then, be honest but gentle."
"It"s blatantly obvious that you"re shy," Hailey began. "As you said, you"re uncomfortable with small talk. You"re very warm and kind, though, and I suspect quick to forgive. I figure that your apartment is immaculately clean, and you"re meticulously organized when it comes to work. And I think," Hailey said with a broad smile, "when you do meet that special someone, you"re going to make her very happy."
"I"d already told you about the shy part, but how did you come to the conclusions on the rest?"
"That"s easy," Hailey said with a wave of her hand.
"Accountants are meticulous and organized because they have to be, or they wouldn"t be in business for long. Your clothes, even the casual ones, are never wrinkled, so you obviously fold everything and put it away, instead of living out of a clothes basket. And the kindness part is just something I sense about you."
0.
*I was taken aback by her observations. I"d always taken fleeting glances at people, afraid that they might see me looking too closely. I noticed obvious things like hair color or body type, but not much more. Even with Hailey, I always looked at her with sideways glances. Now as I looked at her, I could see she was watching intently as I fiddled with my napkin. Her inquisitive gaze moved to my leg that was bouncing nonstop.
"Your turn," she said almost hesitantly. "What do you see in me?"I felt nervous as I openly appraised her for the first time.
Something in her eyes made me feel like she truly wanted me to see her, to know who she was. I couldn"t look at them for very long because I knew she was a.n.a.lyzing me as I studied her. There were faint laugh lines around her eyes and mouth, a tiny almost imperceptible scar at the corner of her top lip. Her hands looked soft with clear polished short nails that twitched slightly as my gaze flittered over them.
Her sweatshirt was creased in the center of her chest. I looked down at her jeans that were slightly creased below the knee. Her hiking boots looked like they"d never seen a trail, though there was a bit of gra.s.s clinging to the heel of one. I looked back up at her hair that was held back off her face by her sungla.s.ses.
When I first saw her, I thought she was attractive, but now as I looked at her, she was stunning. I averted my gaze, unable to look at her any longer. She stirred something within me that I knew I would always have to deny.
"I think it was easy for you to see what I do with my clothes because you do the same thing," I said with a smile that she returned. "I believe you have to dress up for work and truly enjoy being casual when you can. You don"t hike, though you"re wearing the boots for it, and I think maybe you took Fuzzy somewhere gra.s.sy recently."
"Very good," Hailey said. "You really-"
"You"re hiding something that you"re not ready to talk about,"
I blurted out, unable to stop myself. It was the twitch thing she did with her lips. Kalen always opened her eyes very wide when she didn"t want to be forthcoming.
1.
*Hailey"s leg started to bounce like mine was still doing. "You pay closer attention than I thought you did."
"That kind of surprised me, too," I admitted. "I won"t ask you what your secret is because when you"re ready, I think you"ll tell me."Hailey"s lips twitched again before she laughed nervously.
"Okay."
2.
Chapter 7.