Kurt watched with the quiet thoughtfulness of a seasoned listener. He probably absorbed every nuance, as her gaze skittered around the room, across the table, to her gla.s.s, but never meeting his.
Still, she couldn"t help herself. With the telling begun, the words flowed out like water gushing over a broken dam, eager to be free once and for all.
"She got pregnant. With me. Of course, the director denied everything and she didn"t fight. She had to quit dancing, get a job..." Her breath hitched so she took a steadying gulp of wine.
"She never recovered, Kurt. Sometimes, I would come home to the old pictures scattered on the table and my mother pa.s.sed out on the kitchen floor or sitting with a blank stare fixed on the wall. It wasn"t always terrible, I don"t want you to think that, but it came and went. Every day I feared it would be a bad day. For a while, her condition seemed to improve. She met Joe-Elsa"s dad-but, when she got pregnant, her depression worsened and he left her. Then, it never lifted again.
"I took care of Elsa from the day she was born, tried to hide the tough times from her and help her with friends and school. h.e.l.l, even now, I check in several times every day to make sure she has what she needs-at least as much as I can give her-and is doing all right. It"s been so d.a.m.n hard to be away, to trust in the way I raised Elsa. The first year I almost gave up and went back, but I"ve always known I needed to help people like my mom who looked healthy but needed a.s.sistance, counseling, with nowhere to go."
Rebecca swiped at her cheeks when a tear slipped free. "I abandoned them for my dream, for a greater purpose. I have to do well. It has to be worth it. This is my only chance."
Kurt stroked her hand. "I"m sorry, baby. Don"t cry, you did the right thing. Thank you for sharing with me.
Your story explains so much. You"re mature for your age because you had to grow up fast. Elsa had her big sister to look out for her but who was there for you, Becca?"
"I am capable of taking care of myself. I learned from my mom"s experiences. I know what I want and I won"t let anyone budge me from it no matter what. I will be a psychologist. A d.a.m.n good one, too!" She plopped her re-emptied gla.s.s down a little too hard.
Had the table been so close a moment ago? The smooth weave of a cloth napkin soaked up the tear tracking down her face with a few dabs. She flushed with the pride she rarely allowed to seep out. She"d struggled all these years and now the finish line loomed ahead.
The position in Dr. Foster"s office would fulfill her aspiration. She refused to lose it now.
Chapter Six.
With the key to Becca"s psyche in hand, Kurt backed off. He didn"t want to cause her any more pain. His heart went out to the child she had been so briefly. Growing up fast, she"d never had anyone to turn to. Where would he have been without Luke, who"d been his best friend since high school? Without someone he knew could be trusted absolutely during the blackest moments of his life?
"Come on, sweetheart, I think you"ve had enough for one day." Wrapping his arm around her waist, he supported her as she rose from the booth. Then he guided her from the restaurant.
She dozed on the ride home but roused when he helped her up the stairs to her apartment. She tripped on the first step, breaking into a fit of laughter when her shoe fell off and dropped through the open rise.
"Oops."
He couldn"t stifle his amus.e.m.e.nt at seeing her this way, relaxed and open. The controlled side of her would be aghast. Somehow, that made her antics twice as funny.
He made a mental note to grab her shoe on his way back, then pulled her into his arms before scooping her up. Her slender body rested in the frame of his arms as he carried her upstairs, savoring the way they fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The bend of her knees and curve of her neck rested on his flexed biceps.
"Mmm." She burrowed deeper against his chest, flinging her arms around his shoulders. Pressing her face into the crook of his neck she said, "You smell good."
Kurt ignored his body"s reaction to having her so close and pliant. He juggled the keys in one hand, balanced her on his hip, then nudged the door open with his elbow. Flipping on a nearby light, the coziness of her small apartment surprised him. He hadn"t expected her to take the time from her busy schedule of work and studying to make this place a home.
Rich cobalt walls surrounded him with a soothing influence. Fabric accents of all textures littered the room.
Puffy pillows, downy rugs, blankets and even tapestries on the walls contributed to the inviting ambiance of the room. He should have known her sensual nature would require this stimulating environment but, she suppressed her needs so often elsewhere, he hadn"t antic.i.p.ated it.
Distracting him from his insight, she squirmed in his arms then licked a line of pure l.u.s.t up the side of his neck. The resulting shockwave radiating through his nervous system almost caused him to drop her.
"You taste good, too" she breathed.
"Becca," he rasped out a warning, heading toward her bedroom to get her safely tucked in for the night.
She misunderstood his intent and continued to worm closer, rubbing her firm nipples against his chest with a low whimper. By now, his c.o.c.k felt ready to explode. The eager flesh jumped as he put her down, her body sliding across every inch of his front. Gritting his teeth, he started to strip off her suit while he summoned all the reasons why he shouldn"t lay her on the bed and take her right now.
Head back, eyes closed, she seemed to revel in the heat of their bodies smashed together.
"I want you for myself. Not some experiment or duty." Though her words slurred, the intent was clear. He needed her the same way. Just not like this.
"I feel you." She must be referring to his aching arousal, which throbbed in heavy beats against her belly.
Her candor and abandon caused him to tense further. The stiff flesh prodded her delicate skin as she undulated against him.
"G.o.d, Becca, you"re killing me here." He groaned then peeled her shirt from her shoulders, unveiling her naked b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She hadn"t bothered to replace her underwear after their encounter this afternoon, which added to the insanity rising inside him. If he"d realized her bare p.u.s.s.y lie exposed under the table at the restaurant, he wouldn"t have been able to stop himself from slipping his hand between her sweet thighs right there.
Probably best he hadn"t known.
Kurt hurried. He had to put her to bed then get out of there before he took advantage of her inebriation.
Several soft pops made him aware of a seam about to give way. He gentled his motions to avoid tearing her skirt in his haste. She moaned and arched toward him. When he had her stripped naked, he clenched his jaw then tugged her into his arms again for a blissful moment before dumping her, less gently than he intended, between the sheets.
She writhed on the bed, reaching for him as though to pull him down beside her. When he fluffed the fresh linens over her, she turned stiff and still, realizing her error. The stricken look she shot him, when she opened her eyes to witness him backing away with deliberate steps, hurt like a rusty knife twisting in his gut.
"You"re...leaving?" Incredulity caused her voice to crack.
"Now is not the time, Becca. Not like this."
Angry heat rushed to her face as well as the swath of smooth skin visible above the sheet draped across her upper chest. She became shy, withdrawing behind an emotionless mask that did nothing to hide her embarra.s.sment from him.
She spoke in a broken voice so low and distraught he knew she hadn"t intended to utter the words aloud.
"How could I have forgotten? Tonight wasn"t about bonding with me. It was about research. He won"t touch me outside the laboratory."
Witnessing the anguish on her face, Kurt couldn"t abandon her.
"s.h.i.t, I"m sorry, Becca. I didn"t mean to give you the wrong idea." She never drank, he"d overheard other students joking with her about it a few times in the halls. He should have realized she wouldn"t understand her body"s reaction or the fact that he would never take her in this state, not when she could use it as an excuse for her actions the next day.
When he finally claimed her, she would have to admit her desire was more than a chemical reaction or an obligation during the experiment. Kneeling beside her bed, he grasped her hip in one hand then rolled her to face him. He couldn"t stop a mental grin at her hard nipples thrusting against the sheer covering.
Even after suffering mortal humiliation, her body still burned for him. She turned her head into her pillow but the feeble attempt couldn"t m.u.f.fle the whimper escaping her lips. The unfulfilled promise of release had to be painful. He angled her face toward him, praying for the strength to do what she needed.
"Go home, Kurt," she choked out. She blinked, as though desperate not to let the tears filling her eyes leak out. One delicate hand rose to block her vision. "I don"t want your pity."
"I won"t leave you like this. I"m sorry, Becca." Stroking the hair from her face, he wrapped his fingers through hers then disengaged her hand, forcing her to see the truth in his eyes.
"I can take care of myself." Her voice hardened, falling back into the stony mask of independence she had perfected over the years.
"But this time you don"t have to." The compulsion to provide her with one small gift flared inside him, overwhelming all inhibitions. "Do you have any toys, baby?"
When she leveled a blank look at him, he continued the calming, downward path of his hand rubbing her back. The pain in her eyes banked the throbbing need inside him. As bad as he wanted her, he could give her relief without taking his own as long as he did it fast then left before his libido could take over.
"A d.i.l.d.o, maybe a vibrator? Come on, help me out here."
As though the contact of his skin against hers added to the muddiness of her thoughts, already addled by the wine, she didn"t speak right away. He continued to caress her, encouraging the nervous tension to leech from her muscles so she could surrender to the flames he stoked higher inside her.
"Beside table, top drawer." She moaned.
Kurt reached, slid the drawer open then withdrew a blue, hard plastic, sparkly vibrator. If he wasn"t so aroused he feared he might come in his pants again, he would have been amused. The device seemed slender and short but, when he considered the extreme tightness of her p.u.s.s.y, he figured it would be plenty for her. He hoped that when he did f.u.c.k her, she would adjust to his oversized c.o.c.k. The last thing he wanted was to cause her true pain. Well, unintended pain, anyway.
He ma.s.saged her flat stomach with featherlight touches, then slid his hand lower until he brushed her smooth, fresh-shaven mound. Her hips thrust upward in an instinctive arc. With his other hand, Kurt rubbed the head of the vibrator against her lips. She opened her mouth, taking it inside with hungry sucks. He remembered the feel of her lips, hot and insistent on his rigid flesh. He closed his eyes, giving himself a silent count of ten to calm down.
Then he withdrew the toy from her mouth and shifted his attention to her warm, wet folds. Her arousal coated her now smooth l.a.b.i.a, making them shine when her thigh muscles tensed and relaxed in rhythmic pulses as though riding an imaginary lover. She wouldn"t last long. Overwhelmed by her display of pa.s.sion, especially considering their work in the lab earlier, he rubbed his palm over her hard nipples, before placing the vibrator against her clenching entrance.
"Please," she begged. "Now." With her eyes closed, he imagined the world around her retreated until everything but the pressure building in her core faded. Thrusting, he buried the dainty instrument inside her, turning it on high with a twist of his wrist. When his fingers brushed against her swollen c.l.i.t, she screamed.
Surprised, he gaped at her instantaneous climax. He held the vibrator inside her p.u.s.s.y as she came so hard her tight rings of muscle tried to force it back out.
"Kurt!" He stared, in awe of her intense reaction, until it faded. Then she drifted off into unconsciousness, her whole body going limp.
Kurt"s chest heaved with the breath sawing in and out of his lungs. When he slid the vibrator from the grasp of her still-clutching p.u.s.s.y, he couldn"t resist bringing it to his mouth to clean the taste of her from it. He"d never been with someone who climaxed with a single touch. She slept-or had pa.s.sed out-so he stood but he couldn"t force himself to leave. His feet rooted to the floor while his gaze refused to stray from the amazing woman in front of him.
He peered down at her resting against the now rumpled sheets, hair strewn around her face, flushed body sparkling with a fine coat of perspiration. She was the most beautiful thing he"d ever seen. While he may not be able to take her tonight, his flesh, harder than it had ever been before, demanded satisfaction.
Releasing the fly of his slacks, he set his c.o.c.k free of the confining fabric. The vibrator dropped onto the bed beside the siren. He brought one hand up to cup his b.a.l.l.s while the other wrapped around his c.o.c.k. At the first touch, his sensitized nerves jumped, eliciting a groan. He couldn"t believe he had this little control over himself. It was as though he were sixteen again.
He couldn"t make it home like this. Instead, he began to stroke the length of his shaft. It seemed longer and harder than he could ever remember. Kurt spread the pre-come dripping down the head of his c.o.c.k around in his palm, jerking himself faster. He listened to the wet, fleshy sounds as he thought of Becca. Scenes flashed through his memory. He recalled the submission and trust she"d given him when she"d allowed him to tie her to the exam table this afternoon, the way her lips had stretched around him and her eagerness to learn about the boundless pa.s.sion she possessed.
With such vivid fuel, his b.a.l.l.s tightened in his other hand within seconds, his o.r.g.a.s.m building. He must have moaned, because she stirred. She her lashes fluttered, then she peeked up at him through sleep-hazed eyes.
"Are you going to come on me?" she whispered.
He froze in mid motion. What the h.e.l.l am I doing?
But, instead of sounding horrified, she smiled her encouragement.
"I want to feel it." Turning towards him, she reached out, cupped the back of his thigh then tugged him closer.
Before he realized what he intended, he knelt on the bed next to Becca. His pants fell around his knees as he touched the tip of his erection to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She cupped one luscious mound in each hand, sandwiching his c.o.c.k between them. The heated silk of her skin was more temptation than he could resist.
The liquid seeping from his c.o.c.k eased the way when he began to stroke through the luxuriant valley. His b.a.l.l.s brushed against her belly as he slid, long and slow, between her perfect t.i.ts. After a precious few heavenly strokes, his climax demanded release.
With one final pump, he exploded, sending his seed shooting out across her chest. Watching the first strand decorate her nipple made the o.r.g.a.s.m intensify until he feared he might burst a blood vessel or have a heart attack.
Either way he"d go happy.
Spent, he half collapsed. His hands braced on the far side of Becca, preventing him from crushing her while his hips thrust in a shallow path across her chest. His c.o.c.k glided through the hot e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.e covering her, drawing his b.a.l.l.s across the globes of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
Kurt dragged himself away from her even as his still-hard c.o.c.k begged him to return, to bury it b.a.l.l.s-deep inside her, to claim her once and for all. He stared, transfixed, when her tongue darted out to steal a quick taste of his cream off her own nipple. Then she ma.s.saged the rest into her chest like the most extravagant lotion on earth before nuzzling deeper into her pillow and closing her eyes, drifting off to sleep once more.
Now that was the hottest thing he"d seen in his life.
He retrieved the vibrator off the bed, headed to the bathroom, cleaned it-and himself-before returning to wash away the evidence of his lack of control. Swiping a damp cloth across her beautiful chest, Kurt couldn"t believe this had happened. No woman had ever affected him like this before.
Feeling bewildered, and more than a little guilty, he knelt to ensure she was okay one last time. He tucked the sheets around her, brushed his lips over her forehead and whispered, "Sweet dreams, Becca."
Chapter Seven.
The mother of all headaches greeted Rebecca in the morning. She considered the amount of light pouring in the windows with her slit eyes and determined she had overslept. Turning on her side, she reached for her clock radio to a.s.sess the damage but her hand b.u.mped into a tall gla.s.s of water, spilling a few drops on the note pinned beneath it.
Becca, take these aspirin and drink all of the water. I have a nine o"clock appointment but I"ll meet you in the laboratory around noon.
-Kurt She froze in mid motion to stare at his familiar scrawl as hazy images of the night before resurfaced. Oh, G.o.d! It hadn"t been a dream. She struggled to push aside the fog of confusion that had surrounded her on waking the last few days. Her ability to tell dreams from reality had become faulty with the stress of finals and her upcoming job search taking its toll.
She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, dropped her head in her hands then concentrated on remembering yesterday. The experiment! For a few minutes, the s.e.xual adventure seemed like a dream, if an oddly familiar one, before she conjured details even the best nighttime mirage hadn"t rivaled. Details too vivid to be fantasy including the velvety texture of Kurt"s erection on her tongue and the enthralling scent of his skin.
The blurry recollection of divulging her family troubles alarmed her far more than the exploration of her long-subdued physical needs. Worst of all had been her naivete in pretending he cared beyond some d.a.m.n footnote explaining her reactions during the study. Had she really told him all about her mother?
In the full glare of morning, with the flickering light and his gentle support removed, the harsh implications of her actions staggered her. She"d worked all this time to prove her unsurpa.s.sed apt.i.tude for both her job and schoolwork, to show Dr. Foster she deserved a chance in his firm. Now she may have jeopardized it all because she couldn"t think straight when he was near.
Just like her mother.
Disgraced and ashamed, she recalled the way she"d a.s.saulted Kurt the night before. He"d been working a case. Instead of remaining calm and detached while communicating the necessary data, she"d demonstrated her inability to handle the pressure by getting drunk to cope. Still, he"d been kind enough to see her home. Then, to top it all off, she"d begged the man who"d been her mentor for years-the man she hoped would continue to be her boss-to f.u.c.k her. Again.
He"d been too nice to say no outright. Not like this, Becca.
c.r.a.p! He couldn"t stand to touch her in a personal setting so he"d used her vibrator instead. She sneered at her overdramatic thoughts in self-disgust but she couldn"t deny he"d contained the more s.e.xual aspects of their relationship to the study proceedings. His mechanical solution had maintained impersonality. When the spotty memory of him working the device into her made her p.u.s.s.y start to get wet all over again, even as she berated herself for wanting him, she debated giving up and climbing back into bed. She couldn"t imagine him ever taking her serious as a professional again.
But she couldn"t quit now.
I"ll be more focused than ever. Unwilling to watch her dream fall apart so close to realization, she vowed to pull herself together. Today, her attraction to Dr. Foster wouldn"t affect their work together. She would demonstrate to them both she could remain detached regardless of the pathetic crush he must now know she had on him.
Please, G.o.d, don"t let him laugh in my face.
Kurt hadn"t slept at all. His release in Becca"s apartment hadn"t soothed the need raging inside him. He"d spent a restless night in a futile attempt to ignore his painful arousal. Two cold showers this morning hadn"t solved the problem either. He"d seriously considered canceling an appointment for the first time in his life, but Dan counted on their sessions. The man had started making real progress in recent weeks. Kurt would never jeopardize his patient"s health. In the end, duty won out over selfishness.