Andrew glanced at his sister"s mate as Judd came to stand against the wall beside him. "I feel worse."
Judd"s eyes were on the other side of the room-on the curious tableau presented by his older brother and Lara-but he spoke to Andrew. "Do you want me to leave you alone?"
And that was why-in spite of the fact that the other male dared get into bed with Andrew"s beloved sister on a regular basis-Andrew liked Judd. "No, but I need to get the f.u.c.k out of here."
Judd didn"t say anything, just put down his own drink and melted away in the direction of the door. Andrew followed, leaving his unfinished beer on a table in the corner as he walked out, refusing to torture himself any further. It had always been bad, seeing her interact with other men in a way she simply didn"t interact with him, but never like this-because he knew just how dangerous Riaz was to his own goals.
His senses told him there was nothing s.e.xual between Indigo and Riaz . . . now. That last word was the operative one. Because the way Riaz looked at Indigo, the way she looked at him-they were considering it on some level. And if Andrew wasn"t careful, proximity alone might push them into making a decision that would rip Andrew"s heart into a thousand pieces.
"This way." Judd nodded at a corridor that led eventually to one of the less utilized exits. Leaving through it, they walked out past the White Zone-the area closest to the den, where their young were free to play-and into the more densely forested area beyond. Sandwiched between the heavily guarded perimeter and the equally well-guarded entrance to the White Zone, it provided a ma.s.sive range for adult and juvenile wolves to run in, play in, and come to find solitude.
Like now.
Silence was something Judd was good at, but after almost ten minutes of it, the Psy male glanced at Andrew. "If it was me," he said, "I"d understand the need to walk alone. But you"re a social individual, one of the most popular people in SnowDancer."
The unspoken question hung in the air between them.
CHAPTER 6.
Andrew hadn"t spoken of his attraction to Indigo to anyone, ever. Because though he loved his pack with every breath in him, he didn"t want them peering over his shoulder while he fought for his right to court her. "G.o.d, if Riley could see me now." He"d ha.s.sled his brother endlessly about Mercy.
Judd continued to walk, his stride elegant even along the soaked earth. It was an explicable grace, given that the man most thought a telepath was actually also a viciously powerful telekinetic. Judd had already been in the pack for well over a year before any of them discovered that truth. So Andrew had no doubts about the fact the man could keep secrets-at least from the pack. "You"ll tell Brenna, won"t you?"
The Psy lieutenant turned and simply looked at him.
"Yeah." Andrew blew out a breath. "Not like that"s a question." Neither was it reason enough to keep his silence-his sister was loyal to the bone. She might mess with him in private, but she"d keep it close to her chest if he asked.
"You don"t have to say anything." Judd"s voice was calm and clear in the snow-laced chill of the night. "I"ve seen the way you look at the lieutenant. So has Brenna."
"f.u.c.k." The pack, with its loving teasing, could do more harm than good right now, when Indigo was so determined to draw a line in the sand between them. "Is it that b.l.o.o.d.y obvious?"
"No." Judd waited until Andrew began to walk again to continue. "However, we are . . . family." Emotion-being open with it-was still difficult for Judd. But not only had Drew once stood in the path of a bullet that had been aimed at the woman who was Judd"s heart, the wolf male had used his considerable charm to bring a smile to Sienna"s face.
For those two things alone, Judd would"ve owed him. But even before Drew started interacting with Sienna and the other Lauren children, he and Judd had also forged a cautious kind of friendship-built on their shared love for Brenna. "Brenna worries about you."
Drew gave a startled laugh. "What? I"m not Riley. I don"t take responsibility for the world"s ills." It was said with open affection for the brother Judd knew had all but raised both Drew and Brenna.
Using a slight amount of Tk, Judd absently braced a water-logged branch that had been about to break off right above their heads. "I think Mercy might be trying to cure him of that."
A minute . . . two, of silence. Except it wasn"t silent. He"d been an a.s.sa.s.sin, knew how to move without sending a ripple through the air currents, thought he"d been familiar with the quiet dark of night. But Brenna, his mate, had shown him her night, her silence, and it was an amazing, beautiful world.
The rustle of a rabbit as it caught their scent and froze.
The dull thud of that branch falling to the earth.
The soft touch of rain-heavy air against his face.
Small things that filled the silence, the dark, until it wasn"t bleak, but a serene wonderland.
"Indigo thinks Riaz-or someone like Riaz," Drew said at last, his voice taut, strained, "will be right for her. I can see it clear as day."
"You disagree."
"None of them know her, not like I do."
Judd angled his body left, taking them down a slight slope that would lead eventually to one of the lakes that dotted the Sierra. Most in the higher alt.i.tudes, especially in the central and southern areas, remained locked in ice, but this one was liquid, its waters rippling under moonlight as the clouds parted. "But do you truly know her, Drew?"
Andrew felt his shoulders go stiff, his wolf baring its teeth in instinctive response, but he respected Judd"s intelligence enough to rein it back. "Are you saying I don"t?"
"I"m saying that from what Brenna"s noted, you"ve had a crush on Indigo since you were a very young man." Judd held up a hand when Andrew would"ve interrupted. "I"m not questioning what you feel; I"m not telling you that you"re wrong. I"m simply asking you to examine your own emotions," he said with implacable logic. "Ask yourself if it"s Indigo you want, or a mirage of her you"ve built up in your mind."
With that, Judd jogged down the final steep part of the incline to the pebbled edge of the lake. Andrew followed with far less grace, for all that he was changeling. His mind was misfiring, his body not quite under his control. It felt as if his world had just been skewed on its axis.
A few feet away, the lake lapped with placid regularity over the smooth water-shaped pebbles, in stark contrast to his own disordered state. Swearing under his breath, he ripped off his sweatshirt and went for his boots.
Judd walked away without a word, taking a path along the curving edge of the dark spread of water.
Stripping down to his skin, Andrew looked up at the moon, his wolf confused, floundering. The bright sphere, its face covered by clouds an instant later, could give him no answers, and the more he thought, the more he tangled himself up in the sticky confusion of a thousand cobwebs. Shrugging off the cutting bite of the wind, he strode in through the shallows and dived.
Ice.
The shock of it tore the air from his lungs, froze the blood in his veins . . . and returned clarity to his mind.
Indigo snapping at him because he"d been messing around during training.
Indigo allowing him to cuddle into her because she thought he needed the touch of Pack.
Indigo p.i.s.sy on a short trip they"d taken to Los Angeles.
Indigo laughing with Mercy as the two of them teased Riley.
Indigo calm and smart as she advised Hawke against a planned maneuver.
Indigo whooping with glee as they finished scaling one of the tougher climbs they"d attempted.
Indigo teeth-grittingly obstinate as she arrowed toward the man she thought was right for her.
Wiping the water from his face, he sucked in a breath of the bracing air and yelled out to the night, "I know every part of her, warts and all! And I still adore her!" He began to head back to sh.o.r.e without waiting for an answer. Even his tough changeling body couldn"t handle water this icy for long.
A towel was waiting for him by his discarded clothes. He grinned. Having a telekinetic as a friend did come in handy sometimes. Wiping himself off with rough strokes that got his blood pumping, he rubbed at his hair then pulled on his clothes. He was sitting on the rocky sh.o.r.e, the towel around his neck, when Judd returned to his side. The other man took a seat beside him, his movements so quiet that if Andrew hadn"t scented him, he"d never have known there was anyone beside him.
"So," Judd said, "what"re you going to do?"
"What I have been doing," Andrew said, his wolf growling in feral agreement. "I"m not about to let her ignore me just because I don"t fit neatly into the box she has marked out for the man she"ll take as her own." He wanted to use the word mate, but that had a very specific meaning for changelings.
And though it hurt him to admit it, there was no mating dance between him and Indigo, no compulsion from the wild heart of their natures that would-if nothing else-tug her inexorably to him, make her pay attention. No, all he had was his stubborn determination . . . and his heart.
Judd sighed. "That"s not your strength."
"You"re giving me dating advice?" Andrew was dumbfounded.
"I"m mated," Judd pointed out with a cool arrogance that almost hid the laughter in his voice. "You can"t even get the woman you want into bed. I"d listen if I were you."
Andrew gave him the finger, but his wolf p.r.i.c.ked up its ears. "Yeah, so?"
"Sienna," Judd said in an abrupt change of subject, "is slow to take to people, suspicious of everyone"s motives. She"s had to become that way to protect herself, but she lets you hold her. Do you understand how big a deal that is for her?"
Judd had almost intervened the first time he"d seen Drew pull Sienna into a hug. He"d thought his niece was being forced. But then, right before he"d turned Drew"s bones into so much shrapnel, he"d seen Sienna"s arms go around the wolf male"s waist, her face lift up to his with a tiny smile of welcome.
The sight had literally stopped him in his tracks.
"Yeah," Drew now said, a tenderness in his voice that was most usually apparent when he spoke to his sister. "I knew she was hurting. h.e.l.l, I probably understand what she"s going through in one particular area of her life better than anyone."
Judd didn"t pursue that avenue of thought-trouble was brewing there, but they had time yet. Tonight, he"d focus on Drew. "How did you get Sienna to trust you?"
"How?" A shrug Judd sensed more than saw, the moon eclipsed by the rain-heavy clouds. "I talked to her."
"And bribed her with a dozen deluxe cupcakes, each with its own weight in frosting." Judd could still remember how the three cousins-Sienna, Toby, and Walker"s daughter, Marlee-had sat around and gobbled up the sweet concoctions. "There wasn"t even a crumb left by the end of the day, and I"m pretty sure Sienna and the kids were in sugar comas."
Drew"s laughter was warmth in the darkness. "I saw her eyeing a photo of them in a magazine. It was just a way to get into her good graces."
"Same with painting pink daisies on the door of the vehicle she most often uses to drive to DarkRiver territory?"
"It was water paint," Drew said, clearly unrepentant, "barely took her a minute to wipe it away." A grin. "She only got mad when she found out I"d painted her rucksack, too."
Judd couldn"t help it. He laughed. It was still new to him, that sound, the feel of it. But he liked laughing, liked the bubbles of joy in his bloodstream, the feel of his chest muscles flexing in a way that had once been wholly unfamiliar. "You"re an idiot, Drew."
A low growl colored the air. "My sister might be a sucker for your face, but that doesn"t mean I"ll hold my punches."
"I"ll ask the question again-how did you get Sienna to trust you?"
Obviously irritated at the repet.i.tion, Drew threw a pebble into the water, picked up another. "Indigo would say I charmed her into-Oh." Still holding the pebble, he stared at Judd. "I am an idiot."
Having left Drew to plot the next step in his courtship of Indigo, Judd went home to kiss his mate and promise her he"d be home in a couple of hours. Brenna tugged down his head, rubbed her nose affectionately against his. "You"ll be careful." It was an order.
"Nothing dangerous tonight," he murmured, stroking his hands down her back, stunned as always by the delicate strength of her-such power in so small a frame. "Are you planning to wear one of those lacy things to sleep in?"
"I don"t know why I bother." A smile against his lips, her wolf dancing in her eyes. "They never stay on long."
"I like them." He most especially liked peeling them off her inch by slow inch.
A husky laugh. "Then don"t be too late."
Properly motivated to complete his errand and return to her arms, he made his way down into the night-cloaked streets of San Francisco, and from there, to the peaceful hush of the place Father Xavier Perez called both his vocation and his home. Xavier was waiting for him in the otherwise empty confines of the simple Second Reformation church, and Judd"s light mood transformed into concern as he came close enough to see the lines of strain on the other man"s normally serene countenance.
"Xavier," he said, meeting the man of G.o.d in the center of the aisle, right below the peak of the roof, "what is it?"
"What I tell you now, you cannot share with our mutual friend." Xavier"s eyes were troubled but resolute. "It"s not that I don"t trust him . . ."
"But the Ghost has his own agenda." Judd, too, was worried about the powerful Psy rebel who was the third part of their triumvirate. The Ghost was connected to, and loyal to, the PsyNet. But the growing darkness in that very Net seemed to be in danger of corroding what remained of the other man"s soul. And if the Ghost snapped . . . A chill snaked its way up Judd"s spine. "I will not tell him."
Xavier dipped his head in voiceless acknowledgment before saying, "I"ve never spoken of it, but there are a number of Psy among my congregation."
Judd bit back his surprise. Religion was nonexistent in the PsyNet. Silence did not allow for it. "Do they come to you for guidance?"
A faint smile that did nothing to ease the tension around Xavier"s mouth. "No, they hide in the shadows. But I know they are there, and some have been coming for long enough that I feel they are mine to watch over."
Judd waited as the priest opened his Bible and withdrew a folded piece of paper.
"A few of them have, over time, trusted me with their contact details." He pa.s.sed the paper to Judd. "This woman, Gloria, has attended the service every Thursday night without fail for two years."
Judd had been an a.s.sa.s.sin, an Arrow the Council used as a weapon. He connected the dots before Xavier drew them. "She has stopped coming."
"Just once, tonight," Xavier said. "But she always contacts me if there"s even a chance she might miss a service. I received no message today, and no one answers when I attempt to call."
Memorizing the information on the slip of paper-a simple telephone number-Judd pa.s.sed it back to Xavier. "I"ll see what I can find out."
Xavier slid the paper back into the Bible, his dark eyes drenched with worry. "Her soul was so lost when she first began coming-she was cold to the point of lifelessness. This past year, though, I could see her coming to life."
Judd didn"t say anything, but he had a feeling that Gloria"s awakening had brought her the wrong kind of attention-the kind that led to rehabilitation. No one came back from rehabilitation. It erased the personality, wiped the mind, and left only the shambling husk of an empty sh.e.l.l behind.
CHAPTER 7.
Indigo didn"t see Drew the next morning as she strode through the corridors, her destination the small office that was her own near the training rooms. She"d glimpsed him leaving Riaz"s party early with Judd the previous night. Now she found herself wondering if he"d stayed with the Psy lieutenant, or hunted up one of his little playmates and gone horizontal.
Gritting her teeth against her mind"s obliging slide show of images that displayed Drew tangled up with some faceless female, she told herself she should"ve taken up one of the offers that had come her way last night as the senior members of the pack let down their hair. A good sweaty workout between the sheets would certainly have wrung the tension out of her body. But she hadn"t-for reasons she couldn"t quite understand-and now she was paying for it, her skin too sensitive, her wolf irritated and out of sorts.
Ordering herself to focus, she switched on her datapad as she walked, bringing up the day"s schedule. She"d been in charge of training the novice soldiers for eight years, four of them as a.s.sistant to her father, Abel, the last four on her own, with Abel taking over another role. However, over the past couple of years, she"d also started handling more personal issues related to the young dominants in the pack. They came to her with questions, for advice, to vent, and sometimes just to hang out-because her wolf calmed theirs. "Which you will not be able to do unless you get yourself under control," she muttered, annoyed with herself for allowing Drew to rattle her in this way.
That was when she ran into the one person who could take one look at her and read her like an open book.
"Baby," her mother said, her smile so full of love it made Indigo"s heart ache, "give me a hug."
Indigo was already leaning across to do exactly that, every part of her adoring this woman who was the template from which she"d been cast. Tarah Riviere had the same jet-black hair, though hers bore a few-very few-glimmers of silver now, the same vivid blue eyes shot with streaks that were almost purple, the same long-legged height.
But that was where the similarities ended. Where Indigo"s frame was all supple muscle, her mother was fit but sweetly curved. Where Indigo was a dominant and had been from soon after birth, Tarah was a true submissive, one of the gentlest people in the pack. And where Indigo would never surrender everything to any man-even one she loved-Tarah found incomparable joy in leaning on her mate.