The lounge would be his first stop and she needed to do something first.
As she rounded the corner and came to a stop at the elevator, she heard a voice echo down the hall-"Hey, Dr. McCoy!"
It was one of the nurses from labor and delivery, Dana couldn"t remember her name. Wincing, she jabbed the b.u.t.ton. "Screw it," she muttered, striding down the hall as Jake"s voice got louder and the sound of his voice steps drifted closer. She slipped inside the stairwell just in time.
She couldn"t keep avoiding him forever.
She knew that.
And she"d only been doing it for the past week, well, eight days, to be exact. He"d been on call last week and an emergency had him rolling out of her bed at 4 a.m. He"d paused to kiss her on his way out, like he always did, and as he headed out, she"d lain there, smiling and content, alone in the bed, the sheets still warm from him.
Then it hit her, a swell of nausea so strong, she"d barely made it to the toilet before she started to puke. Her period hadn"t been due for a week, so she hadn"t let herself worry about it.
But her period hadn"t started. She was never late, not once, not since she"d been started on birth control when she was fifteen, thanks to some serious issues with cramping. In the past sixteen years, she"d never missed a period. She"d never been late.
She already knew. Even if she wasn"t throwing up every fricking morning and battling bouts of nausea every time she smelled coffee or pizza, she knew. They should have been okay. She was still on the pill. There shouldn"t have been any issue...
"Stop it. Now. We"ll think about the issue when we know there is an issue."
We"ll think about the issue when we know there is an issue.
It was time to find out if there was an issue.
Nervous, Dana stared at the box. Her hands shook as she opened it, fumbled with the wrapper with clumsy fingers. It finally tore and she ended up dropping the d.a.m.n thing. Swearing, she bent down and grabbed it.
Eying the directions, she read them through-logically, she knew what to do. She"d done these d.a.m.n tests only several hundred times. Just not for her. Now that she was doing it for her, the directions didn"t make all that much sense.
"You"re peeing on a d.a.m.n stick. There"s nothing that complicated about it," she muttered.
Except for some reason, it seemed awfully d.a.m.n complicated. Her bladder was so full, it hurt, but she couldn"t seem to do a thing about it. At least not at first. Finally, she got that first step done.
Now came the hard part.
Waiting.
"Who in the h.e.l.l knew two d.a.m.n minutes could take so long?" she groaned, watching the window.
Nothing at first, then slowly, the blank white strip started to change. Colors appeared. Lines appeared.
As in two lines.
There was an issue, all right.
How unbelievably unbelievable. The rubber had broken. Her birth control pills hadn"t done their job either. Slowly, carefully, Dana set the little white device down and rubbed her fingers over her eyes. Then she picked it up again, checked the skinny pink lines.
Hadn"t changed.
With a shaking hand, she grabbed the box and read it, although what good that would do her, she didn"t know. The test was pretty much idiot and Dana proof. Even if she could manage to burn Ramen noodles, she wasn"t so certain she could mess up something as easy as peeing on a d.a.m.n stick. h.e.l.l, she was a nurse-midwife. She knew all about pregnancy tests, knew all about pregnancy.
In theory.
In practice.
None of it added up to jack right now. She licked her lips and looked back at the display once more.
Pregnant.
Carefully, she lowered her hand and covered her belly, tried to figure exactly what she was feeling. Well, beyond scared to death. Her heart raced, her hands shook, her knees trembled and blood roared in her ears. But there was more-she thought.
She just wasn"t entirely sure what it was.
Lifting her head, she stared at her reflection, the pale brown eyes, her shoulder-length brown hair, caught in a loose ponytail. She didn"t look like a mother-to-be. She just looked like herself.
But it wasn"t just her anymore.
Not anymore.
Slowly, a smile curled her lips and leaned back against the wall. Closing her eyes, she started to laugh.
A baby.
Girl? Boy?
Didn"t matter.
As long as the baby was healthy. A part of her.
And Jake- Frowning, she shoved off the wall and looked back at her reflection. Jake.
It was Jake"s baby, she had no doubt of that.
Jake and Mason were the only men she"d been with in the past few months. Before she"d met Mason, there had been one h.e.l.luva long dry spell-three years to be exact. One weekend with Jake up at the cabin, the weekend after his mom died, comfort s.e.x more than anything, comfort for both of them. Back in college, there had been one guy in college, Bryce Campbell.
And before him, Jake. They"d dated off and on throughout high school and college. She loved him-she thought. But the way he made her feel terrified her and every time it felt too serious, she made herself pull away.
Stupid, maybe. Because even as she did it, she knew she"d go back to him. Always to him. Always to Jake. Everything went back to him... And he was always waiting. Even when she drifted away, or when she jerked away and ran like h.e.l.l, terrified by how much he made her feel, he was there. Would he be there now?
"Yes." Closing her eyes, she whispered it again. "Yes."
Jake would be there-he always was. Always had been. Always would be. There was also no question about how she felt over that, either. Relief.
Of her two lovers, Jake was the only one she knew she"d always be able to count on. He wouldn"t run screaming over this, and more, he"d probably even want to be a father. Maybe not right away, but he wouldn"t try to brush off any responsibility. Mason would- h.e.l.l. Mason.
Her belly knotted and the familiar nausea from the past week threatened a repeat performance, but she battled it back. She had some serious thinking to do.
And two men to talk to.
She wanted to take the night.
Desperately needed to take the night, settle a little, figure out exactly what she needed to do-well, besides tell them. That was a given. But how? What did she do after she told them? What did she do period?
What she had with the two guys was fantastic, but it wasn"t anything that she"d ever planned on lasting for long. At least as far as the s.e.x went. It was fun, hot and exciting-she"d enjoy it while it lasted and then move on when it was over.
She hadn"t quite planned on it ending like this, though. She"d figured sooner or later Mason would get bored. Would get a job offer, meet somebody else-in her mind, it had always been Mason who moved away, and she"d been perfectly happy with that scenario.
But she was going to be the one moving away.
The time for that kind of fun and games had ended for her-she was going to be a mother. For her, that changed things.
She needed the night. But she didn"t get it.
Less than thirty minutes after she"d read the result on the pregnancy test, there was a knock at her door. Through the window, she could see Jake"s car, parked in the drive across the road. She didn"t need to look through the peephole to see who it was.
Jake. Of course, him knocking was kind of weird, but she hadn"t exactly been acting normally lately. He probably thought she was giving him the cold-shoulder routine. She should have known better than to think she could avoid him indefinitely. On the way to the door, though, she realized she had known better. In the back of her mind, she had been waiting for him to get here. Opening the door, she stared at him through the screen and then pushed it open. His lips parted, but whatever he"d planned on saying remained unspoken as she took a step forward and slid her arms around his waist. Snuggling against him, she sighed and breathed in his scent.
She needed this more than she needed the night to herself. She needed his warmth and strength right now more than she needed peace and quiet.
Broad hands stroked her back, one settling low on her hip, the other curling over the back of her neck. He dipped his head and nuzzled her cheek. "What"s wrong, Dana?"
Licking her lips, she tried to find the words.
Wrong? There wasn"t exactly anything wrong, at least not for her. Under all the nerves and wonders and worries, she was happy. No, not happy-elated. A baby. Nothing was wrong, everything was right, just in a way it hadn"t ever been before. But how to tell...
Taking a deep breath, she pressed against his chest and stepped back. His hands fell away but as she reached out, he lifted one hand and placed it in hers. "Come inside, Jake. We need to talk."
She left him sitting at the kitchen table as she went to her bathroom and got the pregnancy test she hadn"t thrown away. It remained sitting on the box, exactly where she"d left it. Curling her fingers around it, she headed back to Jake. He sat in the chair, arms crossed over his broad chest. Lost in her thoughts, the sight of his biceps straining against his sleeves only distracted her for a few seconds. She loved his arms, outright loved them, had fantasies where she would nibble all along his arms, squeeze those bunched muscles and lick that tanned flesh.
Tearing her gaze from his arms, she looked up and met his misty green eyes. He had a frown on his face. "So what"s going on, Dana? You"ve been avoiding me for a week."
Keeping the pregnancy test hidden in her hand, she settled in the seat next to his.
He was so d.a.m.ned-well, perfect. s.e.xy, fun, understanding. Protective and kind. A veritable knight in shining armor... He had been the one to teach her how to ride a bike, climb a tree and help her back up when she fell. He"d tutored her through chemistry, asked her out on her first date, taken her to her junior and senior prom, taken her virginity one hot night in her bedroom while her parents had been out for "date night".
"Is it done?"
His voice, deep and soft, broke through her roaming thoughts and she blinked at him, confused. "Done?"
He shoved a hand through his hair and the shiny black strands immediately tumbled back into his eyes. "Yeah, done. As in over. You and me both know you hadn"t planned on keeping this up indefinitely. Fun and games, right? While it lasts. Then we go back to just being friends..."
"We"ve always been more than just friends, Jake," she said softly. Her heart skipped a beat. He was angry over something-she could hear it in his voice. What was it? What if...h.e.l.l, she"d always figured Mason would be the one to walk, and she would be just fine with that, but what if Jake wanted to walk?
And now? What if he wanted to do it now?
Her heart started to beat frantically against her ribcage and she had to take a deep breath and clear her throat before she could speak. "Do you want this to be over? Do you just want to be friends?"
Something moved in his gaze, something dark and unreadable. Then he spoke, his voice rough and raw. "You said it yourself...we"ve always been more than just friends."
"But that"s not an answer...do you want this to be over? Do you want to be done with me?"
Instead of answering immediately, he slid out of the chair and knelt in front of her. He lay his hands on her thighs and she shivered as he smoothed his palms upward, curling them over her hips and drawing her closer. "Done with you? I can"t imagine ever being done with you," he murmured, dipping his head and pressing a kiss to her leg, just above her knee. "I don"t want to imagine that. I don"t want to be done with you."
Through her clothes, she could feel the heat of his breath as he trailed a line of kisses up, over her thigh, along her torso, between her b.r.e.a.s.t.s until he pressed his mouth to the curve of her neck. "But something"s up, Dana. I know it. If you"re ready to walk, you need to tell me."
Curling her fingers over his nape, she held him close. "If I wanted to walk, you know I"d do it." Sliding her fingers into his hair, she tugged until he lifted his head and met her gaze. "But yes, something is up."
Without looking down, she released his hair and reached down, took one of his wrists. Then she took the small plastic device and tucked it into his hand.
He glanced down automatically, then back up at her. His lashes lay low over his eyes, a s.e.xy, lambent look that made her burn with molten need.
It was almost comical, the way he dipped his head to kiss her, then froze and looked back down. He blinked. His mouth worked, but no sound came out. Like the strength in his body had dissolved, he sank back on to his a.s.s, sitting at her feet and staring at the pregnancy test in his hands.
Seconds pa.s.sed.
She counted off seventy-two of those long, endless seconds before he did or said anything. Dragging his gaze away from the test, he looked up at her and whispered hoa.r.s.ely, "You"re pregnant?"
"Yes."
He came back to his knees then, sliding one arm around her hips. Then he covered her belly with his hand and muttered, "Mine."
"I know there"s no way of knowing for sure, but yeah, I"m pretty sure the baby is yours-"
His green eyes met hers and he shook his head. "That wasn"t a question-it is mine, I know." Once more, he looked at the plastic stick in his hand and then easing back, he carefully laid it on the table.
Dana shook inside, nervous, excited, scared-almost afraid to breathe as she waited to see what he did. What he said.
He laid his hands on her thighs, his eyes burned into hers and his voice throbbed with intensity as he whispered, "Mine."
"Yes, yours. I knew...I know." Tears stung her eyes.
He reached up to brush her hair back from her face with a hand that shook. "A baby. We"re going to have a baby."
A shaky, watery laugh escaped her as she slid her arms around his neck and replied, "Yes, we"re going to have a baby."
He kissed her, then, so gentle, so soft, it was as though he feared she"d break. Soft, sweet and slow, his lips brushing against hers before trailing across her cheek, down her neck. Her breath hitched in her throat as he reached for the b.u.t.tons of her shirt, undoing three of them before he stopped abruptly and sat back on his heels, staring at her. "How are you feeling? Are you...can...?"
Grinning at him, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and hauled it over her head. "I"m feeling just fine, Dr. McCoy and h.e.l.l, yeah, I can..." She came out of the seat but he caught her hands before she could unzip her jeans.
"Let me." He caught her up in his arms, cradling her against his chest as he headed down the hall.
Jake had been her first lover-he"d been the shoulder she cried on when her life fell apart, just as she"d been there for him when his mom died. There was little she didn"t know about his body, and little he didn"t know about hers.
But for some reason, it all felt new again, as he lowered her to her feet beside the bed and stripped her jeans away, her panties. Her bra soon joined the pile of clothing at their feet. He stroked his hands down her torso, curling his fingers around her waist, staring at her. His gaze lingered on her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, then her belly, searching for changes that hadn"t begun to happen.
She shivered as he traced her nipples with calloused fingers. He cupped her b.r.e.a.s.t.s in his hands, squeezing gently, carefully, watching her face as though he worried he"d hurt her. Smiling at him, she arched into his touch and reached for him.
He didn"t let her touch him, catching her hands in his and pressing a kiss to her palms before easing them back to her sides. She curled her hands into fists, nails biting into her skin.
"I want to touch you."