[d.i.c.k _comes in as she speaks._

d.i.c.k.

My dear lady, you"re as epigrammatic as a dramatist. Do you say such things from choice or necessity?

LADY KELSEY.

_d.i.c.k!_

BOULGER.

d.i.c.k!

MRS. CROWLEY.

Mr. Lomas!

CARBERY.

Ah!

[_The four exclamations are simultaneous._

d.i.c.k.

This enthusiasm at my appearance is no less gratifying than unexpected.

LADY KELSEY.

I"m so glad you"ve come at last. Now we shall get at the truth.

BOULGER.

[_Impatiently._] Well?

d.i.c.k.

My dear people, what _are_ you talking about?

BOULGER.

Oh, don"t be such an a.s.s!

MRS. CROWLEY.

Good heavens, didn"t you read the _Times_ this morning?

d.i.c.k.

I only came back from Paris to-night. Besides, I never read the papers except in August.

MRS. CROWLEY.

[_Raising her eyebrows._] When there"s nothing in them?

d.i.c.k.

Pardon me, I"m an eager student of the sea-serpent and the giant gooseberry.

LADY KELSEY.

My dear d.i.c.k, it"s too shocking. I wish I"d had the courage to write and ask Mr. Mackenzie not to come. But since you both came back from Africa a month ago he"s been here nearly every day. And he"s been so good and kind to us, I couldn"t treat him as though there was no doubt the story was true.

BOULGER.

There can"t be the least doubt about it. By George, I should like to kick him.

d.i.c.k.

[_Dryly._] My dear chap, Alec is a hardy Scot and bigger than you, so I shouldn"t advise you to try.

BOULGER.

I was engaged to dine with him to-night, but I wired to say I had a headache.

LADY KELSEY.

What will he think if he sees you here?

BOULGER.

He can think what he jolly well likes.

LADY KELSEY.

I hope he has the sense to stay away.

CARBERY.

I think you"re pretty safe now, Lady Kelsey. It"s growing late.

d.i.c.k.

Will some one kindly explain?

MRS. CROWLEY.

D"you mean to say you really don"t know--seriously? After all, you were with him.

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