MR. TRUNDLEBEN, _Secretary of the Club_.
MR. GLEEK, _Editor of the "Banner and Evening Gazette" and member of the Olympus_.
SCENE
_A room in the Olympus Club._
_Time: After luncheon._
SIR WEBLEY WOOTHERY-JURNIP _and_ MR. NEEKS _sit by a small table.
Further away sits_ MR. GLEEK, _the Editor of the "Banner and Evening Gazette."_ SIR WEBLEY JURNIP _rises and rings the bell by the fire-place. He returns to his seat._
MR. NEEKS: I see there"s a man called Mr. William Shakespeare putting up for the Club.
SIR WEBLEY: Shakespeare? Shakespeare? Shakespeare? I once knew a man called Shaker.
NEEKS: No, it"s Shakespeare--Mr. William Shakespeare.
SIR WEBLEY: Shakespeare? Shakespeare? Do _you_ know anything about him?
NEEKS: Well, I don"t exactly recall--I made sure that you----
SIR WEBLEY: The Secretary ought to be more careful. Waiter!
JERGINS: Yes, Sir Webley. [_He comes._
SIR WEBLEY: Coffee, Jergins. Same as usual.
JERGINS: Yes, Sir Webley.
SIR WEBLEY: And, Jergins--there"s a man called Mr. William Shakespeare putting up for the Club.
JERGINS: I"m sorry to hear that, Sir Webley.
SIR WEBLEY: Yes, Jergins. Well, there it is, you see; and I want you to go up and ask Mr. Trundleben if he"d come down.
JERGINS: Certainly, Sir Webley.
SIR WEBLEY: And then get my coffee.
JERGINS: Yes, Sir Webley.
[_He goes slowly away._
NEEKS: He"ll be able to tell us all about him.
SIR WEBLEY: At the same time he should be more careful.
NEEKS: I"m afraid--I"m afraid he"s getting rather, rather old.
SIR WEBLEY: Oh, I don"t know, he was seventy only the other day. I don"t call that too old--nowadays. He can"t be now, he can"t be more than, let me see, seventy-eight. Where does this Mr. Shaker live?
NEEKS: Shakespeare. Somewhere down in Warwickshire. A village called Bradford, I think, is the address he gives in the Candidates" Book.
SIR WEBLEY: Warwickshire! I do seem to remember something about him now.
If he"s the same man I certainly do. William Shakespeare, you said.
NEEKS: Yes, that"s the name.
SIR WEBLEY: Well, I certainly have heard about him now you mention it.
NEEKS: Really! And what does he do?
SIR WEBLEY: Do? Well, from what I heard he poaches.
NEEKS: Poaches!
SIR WEBLEY: Yes, a poacher. Trundleben deserves to get the sack for this. A poacher from the wilds of Warwickshire. I heard all about him.
He got after the deer at Charlecote.
NEEKS: A poacher!
SIR WEBLEY: That"s all he is, a poacher. A member of the Olympus! He"ll be dropping in here one fine day with other people"s rabbits in his pockets.
[_Enter_ JERGINS.
JERGINS: Your coffee, Sir Webley.
SIR WEBLEY: My coffee. I should think so. (_He sips it._) One needs it.
JERGINS: Mr. Trundleben will be down at once, Sir Webley. I telephoned up to him.
SIR WEBLEY: Telephoned! Telephoned! The Club"s getting more full of new-fangled devices every day. I remember the time when---- Thank you, Jergins.
[JERGINS _retires._
This is a pretty state of things, Neeks.
NEEKS: A pretty state of things indeed, Sir Webley.
SIR WEBLEY: Ah, here"s Trundleben.
NEEKS: He"ll tell us all about it, Sir Webley. I"m sure he"ll----
SIR WEBLEY: Ah, Trundleben. Come and sit down here. Come and----
TRUNDLEBEN: Thank you, Sir Webley. I think I will. I don"t walk quite as well as I used, and what with----