SIR WEBLEY: What"s all this we hear about this Mr. Shakespeare, Trundleben?
TRUNDLEBEN: Oh, ah, well yes, yes indeed. Well, you see, Sir Webley, he was put up for the Club. Mr. Henry put him up.
SIR WEBLEY (_disapprovingly_): Oh, Mr. Henry.
NEEKS: Yes, yes, yes. Long hair and all that.
SIR WEBLEY: I"m afraid so.
NEEKS: Writes poetry, I believe.
SIR WEBLEY: I"m afraid so.
TRUNDLEBEN: Well then, what does Mr. Newton do but go and second him, and there you are, Sir Webley.
SIR WEBLEY: Yes, a pretty state of things. Has he ... Does he ... What is he?
TRUNDLEBEN: He seems to write, Sir Webley.
SIR WEBLEY: Oh, he does, does he? What does he write?
TRUNDLEBEN: Well, I wrote and asked him that, Sir Webley, and _he_ said plays.
SIR WEBLEY: Plays? Plays? Plays? I"m sure I never heard ... What plays?
TRUNDLEBEN: I asked him that, Sir Webley, and he said ... he sent me a list (_fumbling_). Ah, here it is.
[_He holds it high, far from his face, tilts his head back and looks down his nose through his gla.s.ses._
He says--let me see--"Hamelt," or "Hamlet," I don"t know how he p.r.o.nounces it. "Hamelt, Hamlet"; he spells it "H-a-m-l-e-t." If you p.r.o.nounce it the way one p.r.o.nounces handle, it would be "Hamelt," but if----
SIR WEBLEY: What"s it all about?
TRUNDLEBEN: Well, I gathered the scene was in Denmark.
NEEKS: Denmark! H"m! another of those neutrals!
SIR WEBLEY: Well, I wouldn"t so much mind where the scene of the play was put, if only it was a play one ever had heard of.
NEEKS: But those men who have much to do with neutrals are rather the men--don"t you think, Sir Webley?--who ...
SIR WEBLEY: Who want watching. I believe you"re right, Neeks. And that type of unsuccessful play-wright is just the kind of man I always rather ...
NEEKS: That"s rather what I feel, Sir Webley.
SIR WEBLEY: It wouldn"t be a bad plan if we told somebody about him.
NEEKS: I think I know just the man, Sir Webley. I"ll just drop him a line.
SIR WEBLEY: Yes, and if he"s all right there"s no harm done, but I always suspect that kind of fellow. Well, what else, Trundleben? This is getting interesting.
TRUNDLEBEN: Well, Sir Webley, it"s really very funny, but he sent me a list of the characters in this play of his, "Hamelt," and, and it"s really rather delicious----
NEEKS: Yes?
SIR WEBLEY: Yes? What is it?
TRUNDLEBEN: He"s got a _ghost_ in his play. (_He-he-he-he-he_) A ghost!
He really has.
SIR WEBLEY: What! Not on the stage?
TRUNDLEBEN: Yes, on the stage!
NEEKS: Well, well, well.
SIR WEBLEY: But that"s absurd.
TRUNDLEBEN: I met Mr. Va.s.s the other day--it was his four hundredth presentation of "The Nighty"--and I told him about it. He said that bringing a ghost on the stage was, of course--er--ludicrous.
SIR WEBLEY: What else does he say he"s done?
TRUNDLEBEN: Er--er--there"s an absurdly long list--er--"Macbeth."
SIR WEBLEY: "Macbeth." That"s Irish.
NEEKS: Ah, yes. Abbey Theatre style of thing.
TRUNDLEBEN: I think I heard he offered it them. But of course----
SIR WEBLEY: No, quite so.
TRUNDLEBEN: I gathered it was all rather a--rather a sordid story.
SIR WEBLEY (_solemnly_): Ah!
[NEEKS[5] _with equal solemnity wags his head._
TRUNDLEBEN (_focussing his list again_): Here"s a very funny one. This is funnier than "Hamlet." "The Tempest." And the stage directions are "The sea, with a ship."
SIR WEBLEY (_laughs_): Oh, that"s lovely! That"s really too good. The sea with a ship! And what"s it all about?
TRUNDLEBEN: Well, I rather gathered that it was about a magician, and he--he makes a storm.
SIR WEBLEY: He makes a storm. Splendid! On the stage, I suppose.
TRUNDLEBEN: Oh yes, on the stage.