[SIR WEBLEY _and_ NEEKS[6] _laugh heartily._
NEEKS: He"d ... He"d have to be a magician for that, wouldn"t he?
SIR WEBLEY: Ha, ha! Very good! He"d have to be a magician to do that, Trundleben.
TRUNDLEBEN: Yes, indeed, Sir Webley; indeed he would, Mr. Neeks.
SIR WEBLEY: But that stage direction is priceless. I"d really like to copy that down if you"d let me. What is it? "The sea with a ship"? It"s the funniest bit of the lot.
TRUNDLEBEN: Yes, that"s it, Sir Webley. Wait a moment, I have it here.
The--the whole thing is "the sea with a ship, afterwards an island."
Very funny indeed.
SIR WEBLEY: "Afterwards an island"! That"s very good, too. "Afterwards an island." I"ll put that down also. (_He writes._) And what else, Trundleben? What else?
[TRUNDLEBEN _holds out his list again._
TRUNDLEBEN: "The Tragedy of--of King Richard the--the Second."
SIR WEBLEY: But _was_ his life a tragedy? _Was_ it a tragedy, Neeks?
NEEKS: I--I--well I"m not quite sure; I really don"t think so. But I"ll look it up.
SIR WEBLEY: Yes, we can look it up.
TRUNDLEBEN: I think it was rather--perhaps _rather_ tragic, Sir Webley.
SIR WEBLEY: Oh, I don"t say it wasn"t. No doubt. No doubt at all. That"s one thing. But to call his whole life a tragedy is--is quite another.
What, Neeks?
NEEKS: Oh, quite another.
TRUNDLEBEN: Oh, certainly, Sir Webley. Tragedy is--er--is a very strong term indeed, to--to apply to such a case.
SIR WEBLEY: He was probably out poaching when he should have been learning his history.
TRUNDLEBEN: I"m afraid so, Sir Webley.
SIR WEBLEY: And what else, eh? Anything more?
TRUNDLEBEN: Well, there are some poems, he says.
[_Holds up a list._
SIR WEBLEY: And what are they about?
TRUNDLEBEN: Well, there"s one called ... Oh. I"d really rather not mention that one; perhaps that had better be left out altogether.
NEEKS: Not...?
SIR WEBLEY: Not quite...?
TRUNDLEBEN: No, not at all.
SIR WEBLEY and NEEKS: H"m.
TRUNDLEBEN: Left out altogether. And then there are "Sonnets," and--and "Venus and Adonis," and--and "The Phnix and the Turtle."
SIR WEBLEY: The Phnix and the what?
TRUNDLEBEN: The Turtle.
SIR WEBLEY: Oh. Go on ...
TRUNDLEBEN: One called "The Pa.s.sionate Pilgrim," another "A Lover"s Complaint."
SIR WEBLEY: I think the whole thing"s very regrettable.
NEEKS: I think so too, Sir Webley.
TRUNDLEBEN (_mournfully_): And there"ve been no poets since poor Browning died, none at all. It"s absurd for him to call himself a poet.
NEEKS: Quite so, Trundleben, quite so.
SIR WEBLEY: And all these plays. What does he mean by calling them plays? They"ve never been acted.
TRUNDLEBEN: Well--er--no, not exactly acted, Sir Webley.
SIR WEBLEY: What do you mean by not exactly, Trundleben?
TRUNDLEBEN: Well, I believe they were acted in America, though of course not in London.
SIR WEBLEY: In America? What"s that got to do with it. America? Why, that"s the other side of the Atlantic.
TRUNDLEBEN: Oh, yes, Sir Webley, I--I quite agree with you.
SIR WEBLEY: America! I daresay they did. I daresay they did act them.
But that doesn"t make him a suitable member for the Olympus. Quite the contrary.
NEEKS: Oh, quite the contrary.
TRUNDLEBEN: Oh, certainly, Sir Webley, certainly.
SIR WEBLEY: I daresay "Macbeth" would be the sort of thing that would appeal to Irish Americans. _Just_ the sort of thing.
TRUNDLEBEN: Very likely, Sir Webley, I"m sure.
SIR WEBLEY: Their game laws are very lax, I believe, over there; they probably took to him on account of his being a poacher.