He hadn"t planned on letting things go where they had. He"d only wanted to taste her, to give her the pleasure of oral s.e.x. But when he"d gotten her spread and naked across his kitchen island, his baser instincts had kicked in. He"d wanted to not just please her, but to drive her out of her mind, to sully her, to take all that innocence and dirty it up.
He wasn"t sure he"d ever seen a more erotic sight than Marin, legs spread, p.u.s.s.y bared, and body dripping with expensive wine and her own arousal. f.u.c.k, every time he saw the picture in his head, he"d had to fight not to stroke himself. He may never be able to drink merlot again without thinking about how it tasted mingling with Marin"s flavor. But tonight wasn"t about him. He would be patient, give her time to wrap her head around all this, figure out if he"d gone too far too quickly.
Marin rolled up the too long sleeves of his robe and gave him a tentative smile. "So, hey."
With her makeup washed off and her hair damp, he was reminded of just how young she was. Her fierce smarts and all she"d been through made her seem closer to his age, but right now, post o.r.g.a.s.m and unsure of herself, their eight-year difference was obvious. Once again, he worried if he was taking advantage. They hadn"t talked much during the bath. She"d been quiet, still coming down from all that had happened, but now was going to be the moment of truth. He"d find out if he"d blown it, if he"d scared her. "Hey."
Her gaze skated over him. "You"re still dressed."
Something unlocked in his chest at her easy tone. "I like that you sound disappointed."
She gave him a small smile. "I feel like I"m at a disadvantage. You"ve seen, uh . . . everything there is to see of me."
He patted the bed. "Afraid I"m going to renege on our deal?"
She padded over, her feet quiet on the hardwood, and sat on the bed. "I guess I"m just feeling a little unsure of where to go from here. I didn"t . . . well, I didn"t expect what happened to happen."
He reached out to grab her hand. "Come "ere."
She let him tug her closer, and he wrapped his arm around her, letting her settle against his chest. He could feel her quick heartbeat against him. She was far more nervous than she was showing on her face. It was easy to forget that she"d never done this, that it was all new to her. Being with anyone this way. Sharing a bed. Touching. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I told you I"m all yours. But there"s no pressure here. We can just sit like this, relax. Talk. Whatever. I know that things went a little far out there. I seem to have trouble taking things slow and easy with you. So I"m sorry if I pushed you past where you wanted to go."
Her fingers traced over his T-s.h.i.+rt almost absently. "You said that the first time, too. I remember you felt bad that you"d been rough."
"Of course I felt bad. You were a virgin. I was afraid I"d hurt you."
"Mmm," she said noncommittally.
She didn"t say anything else for a few minutes. The whole thing should"ve felt weird. He didn"t invite women into his bedroom. Any trysts he had happened at the woman"s place or a hotel. And tonight he"d planned for things to happen in other parts of the house if they happened. He liked his private s.p.a.ce private. He didn"t want others in a room where he kept the stack of books his mother had bought him before she"d died. Or for someone to notice the ridiculous dead bolt on his door. Or for anyone to ask him about the photo of San Francis...o...b..y that filled up most of one wall. This room hid his secrets, the things he didn"t know how to fix. But somehow he didn"t feel anxious having Marin in there with him. Even though she was a virtual stranger to him, she knew more than most of the people in his life already.
He traced his fingers up and down her arm. "You okay?"
"You like things rough," she said, her tone pensive.
He s.h.i.+fted his hold on her so he could look down at her. "Was I too rough with you? If I was, you just have to tell me."
She chewed her lip and peeked up at him, some of her trademark blush staining her cheeks. "Well, you doused me with wine and f.u.c.ked me with the bottle."
He winced. "I-"
"But I"ve never come that hard in my life. And I"m pretty good at making myself do that."
His lips snapped shut.
She scooted over and propped herself up on her hand. "I guess I"m just wondering that if that"s Donovan 101, what"s the master cla.s.s?"
The question sent wariness through him. "What do you mean?"
"How far do those desires go? Like, what do you think about when you"re alone and there"s nothing to censure your fantasies? Is it like your recordings or more than that?"
He frowned. "Marin-"
"Hey, look, I"m asking you personal questions and not getting embarra.s.sed. You should be proud." She gave him a wry smile. "Plus, you said no judgment for me. I"m offering the same to you. I"m just curious. Not saying I"m willing to go there."
He sighed and let his head fall back on the pillow. "You"re asking for my dark corner stuff, doctor? Do you charge by the hour?"
She shoved him in the side. "I do. But you couldn"t afford me."
He stared at the ceiling fan going round and round. He should probably edit himself. He"d already set her off balance. If he told her some of his darker fantasies, he"d probably freak her out for good. But he couldn"t find it in himself to lie to her. "You"re right. I like rough-and-tumble stuff and I like control. Things like giving chase and capturing someone or holding a woman down while I f.u.c.k her has a lot of appeal. Enjoying someone fighting back. All with previous consent, of course. Role-play stuff." He wet his lips, trying to tamp back images of him doing those things with Marin, of crossing those boundaries with her. He cleared his throat. "I think because I have to be so stoic and calm at work that the abandon of that kind of thing calls to me."
He peered down at her when she didn"t respond, needing to see her reaction. Instead of looking terrified, her forehead was wrinkled in thought. "I can see that. You don"t have to be the nice guy then, the ever-understanding therapist, the blank slate."
She got it. Of course she did. The woman was an observer of human nature just like he was. "I like what I do, but you"ve seen how it is. You always have to be on. You can"t have bad days or show too much emotion with clients. It can be exhausting."
"But you liked the rough fantasies before you were a therapist."
He smirked. "Now you are trying to give me a session, Dr. Rush. I was the smart kid in school. Easy target for bullies until my height shot up in high school. I learned early on that people lose interest when you don"t give them a reaction. I learned not to show my cards to anyone. He who controls his emotions holds all zee power."
She snorted at his dramatic tone. "And she who blushes loses all the credibility."
He laughed and gathered her against him again, liking the feel of her nestled in the crook of his arm. "We"re working on that. Soon your therapist face will be impenetrable."
"Then I guess I"ll be the one wanting to break free and have wild, kinky s.e.x." She s.h.i.+fted against him. "Or who knows? Maybe I"m already getting to that point."
He gave in to the urge to stroke his fingers through her hair. He imagined Marin had spent a lot of her life following very strict plans and putting on a brave face-taking care of her mother, becoming a parent to her younger brother, now trying to be a s.e.x therapist when she hadn"t been afforded time in her life to experience her own s.e.x life. If anyone had earned some wildness it was her.
"You were beautiful tonight, Marin. The way you gave yourself over to it." He peered down at her, watching his fingers sliding through her dark fine hairs. "You may blush at things at work, but you"re s.e.xy as f.u.c.k when you push past that initial anxiety. It"s part of the reason I couldn"t resist taking things beyond what I had planned tonight. I think you might be as filthy and kinky as I am, you just haven"t had the opportunity to indulge in it."
"Are you calling me a s.l.u.t who hasn"t lived up to her potential?" she teased.
"If I was, it"d be a compliment." He rolled to his side, s.h.i.+fting her onto her back so he could look down at her. He traced the smooth skin of her chest along the edge of the partially open robe. "All I"m saying is that you"re inexperienced, but I doubt you"re vanilla. A vanilla woman would"ve balked at what I just told you I fantasized about, been scared or turned off or worried. She would"ve already left."
She rubbed her lips together. "I didn"t say I was going to volunteer for those things."
"You didn"t say you wouldn"t." He gently pushed the robe to the side, exposing the curve of her breast. He drew a finger around her nipple, the tempting bud immediately tightening in response.
She shuddered beneath the gentle attention and closed her eyes. "Maybe it"s because I"m not scared that you"d hurt me. And I know if I said no or stop, you would."
He watched her, breathing that in. Marin had no idea how big a f.u.c.king deal those simple words were. She trusted him-with her body, with her safety, with her pleasure. It was about the biggest gift she could give him. "Thank you. I"m glad you know you"re safe with me. You absolutely are."
She opened her eyes and let her hand drift downward until she was sc.r.a.ping over his denim-clad thigh. "I want to touch you."
The sight of her naked, warm form beneath that robe was calling to him. His c.o.c.k had already grown hard and urgent against his fly. He wanted to take his time this go-round, explore and nibble and taste every inch of her. But he"d promised her something, and he wasn"t going to deny her.
He reached behind him and tugged off his T-s.h.i.+rt, liking the way her eyes roved over him. "I"m all yours, gorgeous."
She pushed up onto an elbow and then flattened a hand against his shoulder, urging him onto his back. She propped herself above him and gave him a long, slow consideration. When her eyes lingered on the outline of his erection, his c.o.c.k responded, growing even harder and sending a sharp ache through him.
"You really are unfairly beautiful," she declared.
A choked laugh snuck out of him. "Somehow I feel like you"re insulting me."
"I totally am." Her hand curved around his erection and stroked. All joking fell aside as his stomach muscles tensed, the light touch ridiculously potent.
When she gave him a squeeze, he hissed. "f.u.c.k."
She mapped him again with teasing fingers. "I want to give you what you gave me."
"Keep doing that and it won"t take long."
She moved her hand away and walked her fingers over his abdomen, exploring, dragging her nails through the trail of dark hair there. She paused at the waistband of his jeans. "No, I want you to show me how to do it with my mouth."
He groaned. More perfect words had never been uttered. He wanted to frame those words and gaze upon them daily. "You don"t have to return the favor. You don"t owe me anything."
She adjusted herself, lifting a knee and straddling his thigh. She was naked beneath the robe and he got a flash of pert b.r.e.a.s.t.s and the trimmed dark hair between her thighs as she settled over him. Desire crashed through him.
"I want to know how a man tastes." She leaned down and traced the tip of her tongue around his naval before lifting her head again. "I want to know how you taste specifically, Donovan West."
f.u.c.king h.e.l.l. His head was going to explode. His c.o.c.k would follow. This woman had no idea how effortlessly erotic she was. He reached out and palmed the back of her head, giving it a squeeze, trying to quell the roar of desire. "Want some chocolate lube on standby?"
Her smile was unhurried, dark amus.e.m.e.nt there. "I don"t like things sugarcoated. I like them real."
Real. That"s what she demanded of him. And so far, he found he didn"t mind giving her just that. He reached down and unhooked the b.u.t.ton on his jeans. When he tugged down the zipper and freed his c.o.c.k, the change over Marin"s expression was enough to f.u.c.king undo him right there. She looked . . . fascinated. And hungry for him.
His instincts rumbled to the surface. "Guess it"s time you learn how to suck my c.o.c.k, then."
Marin"s breath left her at the sight of Donovan"s thick erection in his hand, and her body clenched hard. She"d seen enough p.e.n.i.ses in her day in books and videos and wherever. But nothing had prepared her for the raw sensuality of seeing this man stiff and ready for her. The tip was flushed and glossy with arousal, and when he ran his thumb over the slit, rubbing the fluid along the head, she almost died. Part of her wished she could just watch him stroke himself, see how he took his pleasure. Did he make noise? Did he slick himself up with lube, making everything s.h.i.+ny and smooth. Did he play with his b.a.l.l.s or tease himself?
G.o.dd.a.m.n. She was never ever going to be short on masturbation material again. This sight alone could get her off.
She licked her lips as Donovan adjusted her so he could kick his jeans and underwear off. When she was straddling his thigh again, she indulged in the view. The dark thatch of trimmed hair at the base, the heavy sac that looked impossibly masculine, and that proud aroused c.o.c.k. She wanted to touch and explore, to run her fingers everywhere and follow the path with her tongue.
"Keep looking at me like that and I may come just from that," Donovan said, voice gritty.
She couldn"t resist the temptation any longer. She let her fingers encircle his erection, surprised at the silky, taut skin. She wasn"t sure what she"d expected but she hadn"t expected velvet-encased steel. Her mouth went dry just thinking about what that would feel like inside her. "Show me what you like. Show me how to make you come."
Donovan groaned and gripped the base of his c.o.c.k, squeezing harder than she would"ve thought comfortable. His hand tightened in her hair. "Your mouth on me is about all it"s going to take, Rush. I"m already on edge after watching you come earlier and seeing you here now. h.e.l.l, I"ve been on f.u.c.king edge since you walked onto the X-wing. Just be careful of teeth and don"t try to be too gentle. Anything else, you can explore how you want. I"ll tell you when I"m close if you want to pull off."
She positioned herself over him, inhaling the musk of his skin, and looked up. "Why would I want to pull off?"
He closed his eyes as if the question had caused him both pleasure and pain. "Some women don"t want to-"
But she didn"t wait for an answer. It"d been rhetorical. And she was too turned on, too curious to wait. She slid her lips over the head of his c.o.c.k and let her tongue sweep around it. She didn"t know what she was doing exactly, but her nerves had fallen away the minute he"d opened his jeans. If going down on him felt even a tenth of what she"d felt when he went down on her, she figured she couldn"t mess it up too much.
He let out a grinding sound and his hand flexed against her skull, as if it was taking everything he had not to shove her down on his c.o.c.k and use her how he wanted. Part of her wished he would, but jumping in that deep would sacrifice the chance to savor.
As her mouth closed fully over the head, his taste hit her tongue, and her thighs squeezed together at the rush of desire it sparked. She"d expected salt, the taste of sweat and skin and humanness. And there was that, but G.o.d, it was so much more that that. Earthy, musky, and very, very male. She wouldn"t have known that was a flavor, but there was no other way to describe it. Donovan tasted like s.e.x and desire and temptation all wrapped around satiny strength. Whoever invented chocolate lube was a f.u.c.king idiot.
She"d never want to mask this. It pressed b.u.t.tons in her she hadn"t realized she had, her body knowing just how to react to the feel of him in her mouth, a flood of wet heat going straight to her s.e.x. She inhaled deeply and took another slow suck, earning a tense groan from Donovan.
That was all she needed to hear. She stopped being delicate and slid down his shaft, sucking and licking and working every part of him her tongue could reach.
Donovan cursed and his thigh muscle flexed beneath her, the springy hair of his leg teasing her s.e.x. "That sound you just made . . . Christ."
She hadn"t realized she"d made a noise, but her response to having him in her mouth was impossible to contain. She could feel his every reaction. Each swipe of her tongue earned her a coiled muscle or a sharp breath or more drops of the slightly bitter pre-come. She loved knowing what she was doing to him. Loved the immediate feedback that she was doing something right.
He clasped her head in his hands and wrested some of the control back, easing her pace. "That"s it. Slow it down. I want this to last. You feel f.u.c.king amazing."
She groaned and rocked her hips along with the slow motion of her bobbing head.
Donovan s.h.i.+fted his leg beneath her, putting pressure where she needed it most.
"Mmm, I can feel you getting hot and slippery against me. You"re making a mess, Marin." His words were low, the sound coasting over her like warm, seeking hands. "You know what that does to me? Knowing that sucking my c.o.c.k is getting you off? That you need to come so bad again that you"re riding my leg?"
Heat flooded her face, an automatic reaction, but he didn"t let her pull away or give her time to be embarra.s.sed.
"Oh, no, you don"t," he said, sinful intent lacing the words. He s.h.i.+fted his leg fully against her, dragging the hair-roughened surface over her flesh, grinding against her slick lips and c.l.i.t. "You"re going to f.u.c.k my leg just like that and suck me hard while you do it. You"re going to come for me like I"m going to come for you."
The feel of him grinding against her, the sound of it-all that wet, hot flesh-and the feel of him hard and full in her mouth was too much. All of her systems flipped to go almost immediately, release racing up the line. She whimpered, her hips canting forward despite the snap of shame trying to fight its way in. She was humping his leg like a dog. She couldn"t stop if she tried.
His fingers tightened against her head as he pumped her harder against him. He didn"t take her all the way down. Her gag reflex had protested the first time she"d tried. But he wasn"t taking it easy either. He gripped her hair in his hands, her scalp stinging in a strangely erotic way. Her hold on the moment started to slip, some state of surrender sliding into place. She was a pa.s.senger now, her mouth his tool. Her thoughts blurred. She let go of the steering wheel.
"That"s right, baby." Donovan"s breaths were sawing out of him now, choppy and ragged. "Moan for me. Show me how much you need to come. How much you want to drink me down."
Marin was lost. Her body jerked against his leg, and everything inside her detonated. She made some desperate sound around his c.o.c.k, her tongue and lips still working, tasting, loving, but sensation spiraling through her and blasting thought from her brain.
"f.u.c.k, yes, oh f.u.c.k." Donovan"s words were hot rain over already boiling waves.
He swelled in her mouth and pumped into her roughly, spilling his release onto her tongue and down her throat, calling her name and saying sweet, dirty things to her.
She took everything he had to give as she rode the crest of her own o.r.g.a.s.m. His taste. Her pulsing c.l.i.t. The slick feel of her body sliding against his thigh. All of it morphed into one long, drunk-on-pleasure moment. Then he was easing her off of him and rubbing soothing fingers on her scalp.
She blinked back into reality with slow awareness. Her lips were tingling, her jaw a little sore, and her body throbbed with aftershocks as he adjusted on the bed and dragged her into his hold. But she couldn"t find it in herself to do much of anything besides let him move her where he wanted her. He cradled her in the crook of his arm, his chest still moving with uneven breaths as he eased down from his release.
His skin was hot against her cheek, the sheen of sweat welcoming. She closed her eyes, sated and sleepy. A lot had happened tonight. She"d probably have thoughts about it. But not now. She"d think about everything later. Right now she just needed this.
"You okay?" he asked after a few minutes.
"Mm-hmm. You?"
"What do you think?"
"Guess I"m a natural at giving head," she murmured sleepily. "Check that off my list."
The dark, quiet laugh rumbled beneath her cheek. "Maybe I"m just a natural at receiving it."
She snorted. "Of that, I have no doubt."