He drew a long breath on the last word, and Miss Chisholm sighed, too.
"I"m sorry," she said, staring at the big seal ring on her finger. "I tell you frankly that I think you"re making a mistake. I don"t argue for Alan"s sake or mine, though we both like you thoroughly, and your being here would make a big difference this winter. But I think you"ve made a good start with the company, and it"s a good company, and I think, from what you"ve said to-day, and other hints you"re given me, that you"d make your mother very happy by writing her that you think you"ve struck your groove. However!"
She got up, brushed the leaves from her skirt, and went to her horse.
They rode home through the columned aisles of the forest almost silently. The rough, straight trunks of the redwoods rose all about them, catching gold and red on their thick, fibrous bark from the setting sun. The horses" feet made no sound on the corduroy roadway.
For several days nothing more was said of Paul"s going or staying. Miss Chisholm went her usual busy round. Paul wrote his letter of resignation and carried it to the dinner-table one night, hoping to read it later to her, and win her approval of its finely rounded sentences.
But a heavy mail came down the trail that evening, brought by the obliging doctor from Emville, who had been summoned to dress the wounds of one of the line-men who had got too close to the murderous "sixty thousand" and had been badly burned by "the juice." And after the letters were read, and the good doctor had made his patient comfortable, he proved an excellent fourth hand at the game of bridge for which they were always hungering.
So at one o"clock Paul went upstairs with his letter still unapproved.
He hesitated in the dim upper hallway, wondering if Patricia, who had left the men to beer and crackers half an hour earlier, had retired, or was, by happy chance, still gossiping with Mrs. Tolley or Min. While he loitered in the hall, the door of her room swung slowly open.
Paul had often been in this room, which was merely a kind of adjunct to the sleeping-porch beyond. He went to the doorway and said, "Patricia!"
The room, wide and charmingly furnished, was quite empty. On the deep couch letters were scattered in a wide circle, and in their midst was an indentation as if some one had been kneeling on the floor with her elbows there. Paul noticed this with a curious feeling of unease, and then called softly again, "Patricia!"
No answer. He walked hesitatingly to his own room and to the window.
Why he should have looked down at the dark path with the expectation of seeing her, he did not know; but it was almost without surprise that he recognized the familiar white ruffles and dark head moving away in the gloom. Paul unhesitatingly followed.
He followed her down the trail as far as he had seen her go, and was standing, a little undecidedly, wondering just which way she had turned, when his heart was suddenly brought into his throat by the sound of her bitter sobbing.
A moment later he saw her. She was sitting on a smooth fallen trunk, and had buried her face in her hands. Paul had never heard such sobs; they seemed to shake her from head to foot. Hardly would they lessen, bringing him the hope that her grief, whatever it was, was wearing itself out, when a fresh paroxysm would shake her, and she would abandon herself to it. This lasted for what seemed a long, long time.
After a while Paul cleared his throat, but she did not hear him. And again he stood motionless, waiting and waiting. Finally, when she straightened up and began to mop her eyes, he said, trembling a little:
"Patricia!"
Instantly she stopped crying.
"Who is that?" she said, with an astonishing control of her voice. "Is that you, Alan? I"m all right, dear. Did I frighten you? Is that you, Alan?"
"It"s Paul," the boy said, coming nearer.
"Oh--Paul!" she said, relieved. "Does Alan know I"m here?"
"No," he rea.s.sured her; then, affectionately: "What is it, Pat?"
"Just--just that I happen to be a fool!" she said huskily, but with an effort at lightness. Paul sat down, beginning to see in the darkness.
"I"m all right now," went on Patricia, hardily. "I just--I suppose I just had the blues." She put out a smooth hand in the darkness, and patted Paul"s appreciatively. "I"m ashamed of myself!" said she, catching a little sob, as she spoke, like a child.
"Bad news--in your letters?" he hazarded.
"No, GOOD; that"s the trouble!" she said, with her whimsical smile, but with trembling lips. "You see, all my friends are in the East, and some of them happened to be at the same house-party at Newport, and they--they were saying how they missed me," her voice shook a little, "and--and it seems they toasted me, all standing, and--and--" And suddenly she gave up the fight for control, and began to cry bitterly again. "Oh, I"m so HOMESICK!" she sobbed, "and I"m so LONESOME! And I"m so sick, sick, sick of this place! Oh, I think I"ll go crazy if I can"t go home! I bear it and I BEAR it," said Patricia, in a sort of desperate self-defence, "and then the time comes when I simply CAN"T bear it!" And again she wept luxuriously, and Paul, in an agony of sympathy, patted her hand.
"My heart is just breaking!" she burst out again, her tears and words tumbling over each other. "It--it isn"t RIGHT! I want my friends, and I want my youth--I"ll never be twenty-six again! I want to put my things into a suit-case and go off with the other girls for country visits--and I want to dance!" She put her head down again, and after a moment Paul ventured a timid, "Patricia, dear, DON"T."
He thought she had not heard him, but after a moment, he was relieved to see her resolutely straighten up again, and dry her eyes, and push up her tumbled hair.
"Well, I really will STOP," she said determinedly. "This will not do!
If Alan even suspected! But, you see, I"m naturally a sociable person, and I had--well, I don"t suppose any girl ever had such a good time in New York! My aunt did for me just what she did for her own daughters--a dance at Sherry"s, and dinners--! Paul, I"d give a year of my life just to drive down the Avenue again on a spring afternoon, and bow to every one, and have tea somewhere, and smell the park--oh, did you ever smell Central Park in the spring?"
Both were silent. After a long pause Paul said:
"Why DO you stay? You"ve not got to ask a stepfather for a job."
"Alan," she answered simply. "No, don"t say that," she interrupted him quickly; "I"m nothing of the sort! But my mother--my mother, in a way, left Alan and me to each other, and I have never done anything for Alan. I went to the Eastern aunt, and he stayed here; and after a while he drifted East--and he had too much money, of course! And I wasn"t half affectionate enough; he had his friends and I had mine! Well then he got ill, and first it was just a cold and then it was, suddenly--don"t you know?--a question of consultations, and a dry climate, and no dinners or wine or late hours. And Alan refused--refused flat to go anywhere, until I said I"d LOVE to come!
I"ll never forget the night it came over me that I ought to. I am--I was--engaged, you know?" She paused.
Paul cleared his throat. "No, I didn"t know," he said.
"It wasn"t announced," said Miss Chisholm. "He"s a good deal older than I. A doctor." There was a long silence. "He said he would wait, and he will," she said softly, ending it. "It"s not FOREVER, you know. Another year or two, and he"ll come for me! Alan"s quite a different person now. Another two years!" She jumped up, with a complete change of manner. "Well, I"m over my nonsense for another while!" said she. "And it"s getting cold. I can"t tell you how I"ve enjoyed letting off steam this way, Paul!"
"Whenever we feel this way," he said, giving her a steadying hand in the dark, "we"ll come out for a jaw. But cheer up; we"ll have lots of fun this winter!"
"Oh, lots!" she said contentedly. They entered the dark, open doorway together.
Patricia went ahead of him up the stairs, and at the top she turned, and Paul felt her hand for a second on his shoulder, and felt something brush his forehead that was all fragrance and softness and warmth.
Then she was gone.
Paul went into his room, and stood at the window, staring out into the dark. Only the door of the power-house glowed smoulderingly, and a broad band of light fell from Miss Chisholm"s window.
He stood there until this last light suddenly vanished. Then he took a letter from his pocket, and began to tear it methodically to pieces.
While he did so Paul began to compose another letter, this time to his mother.
THE RAINBOW"S END
"Well, I am discovered--and lost." Julie, lazily making the announcement after a long silence, shut her magazine with a sigh of sleepy content; and braced herself more comfortably against the old rowboat that was half buried in sand at her back. She turned as she spoke to smile at the woman near her, a frail, keen-faced little woman luxuriously settled in an invalid"s wheeled chair.
"Ann--you know you"re not interested in that book. Did you hear what I said? I"m discovered."
"Well, it was sure to happen, sooner or later, I suppose." Mrs.
Arbuthnot, suddenly summoned from the pages of a novel brought her gaze promptly to the younger woman"s face, with the pitifully alert interest of the invalid. "You were bound to be recognized by some one, Ju!"
"Don"t worry, a cannon wouldn"t wake him!" said Julia, in reference to Mrs. Arbuthnot"s lowered voice, and the solicitous look the wife had given a great opened beach umbrella three feet away, under which Dr.
Arbuthnot slumbered on the warm sands. "He"s forty fathoms deep. No,"
continued the actress, returning aggrievedly to her own affairs, "I suppose there"s no such thing as escaping recognition--even as late in the season as this, and at such an out-of-the-way place. Of course, I knew," she continued crossly, "that various people here had placed me, but I did rather hope to escape actual introductions!"
"Who is it--some one you know?" Mrs. Arbuthnot adjusted the pillow at her back, and settled herself enjoyably for a talk.
"Indirectly; it"s that little b.u.t.terfly of a summer girl--the one Jim calls "The Dancing Girl"--of all people in the world!" said Julie, locking her arms comfortably behind her head. "You know how she"s been haunting me, Ann? She"s been simply DETERMINED upon an introduction ever since she placed me as her adored Miss Ives of matinee fame. I imagine she"s rather a nice child--every evidence of money--the ambitious type that longs to do something big--and is given to desperate hero worship. She"s been under my feet for a week, with a Faithful Tray expression that drives me crazy. I"ve taken great pains not to see her."
"And now--?" prompted the other, as the actress fell silent, and sat staring dreamily at the brilliant sweep of beach and sea before them.