"I d"know. He didn"t stay at my house."
"He didn"t?"
"No. Thought he went home with you."
"I ain"t see "im "t all. I"ll ask Councill. Brother Councill, seen anything of the Elder?"
"No. Didn"t he go home with Bensen?"
"I d"n know. I"ll see."
This was enough to start the news that "Pill had skipped."
This the deacons denied, saying "he"d come or send word."
Outside, on the leeward side of the house, the young men who couldn"t get in stood restlessly, now dancing a jig, now kicking their huge boots against the underpinning to warm their toes. They talked spasmodically as they swung their arms about their chests, speaking from behind their huge buffalo-coat collars.
The wind roared through the creaking oaks; the horses stirred complainingly, the bells on their backs crying out querulously; the heads of the fortunates inside were shadowed outside on the snow, and the restless young men amused themselves betting on which head was Bensen and which Councill.
At last some one pounded on the desk inside. The suffocating but lively crowd turned with painful adjustment toward the desk, from whence Deacon Benson"s high, smooth voice sounded:
"Brethren an" sisters, Elder Pill hain"t come--and, as it"s about eight o"clock, he probably won"t come to-night. After the disturbances last night, it"s--a--a--we"re all the more determined to--the--a--need of reforming grace is more felt than ever. Let us hope nothing has happened to the Elder. I"ll go see to-morrow, and if he is unable to come--I"ll see Brother Wheat, of Cresco. After prayer by Brother Jennings, we will adjourn till to-morrow night. Brother Jennings, will you lead us in prayer?" (Some one snickered.) "I hope the disgraceful--a--scenes of last night will not be repeated."
"Where"s Pill?" demanded a voice in the back part of the room. "That"s what I want to know."
"He"s a bad pill," said another, repeating a pun already old.
"I guess so! He borrowed twenty dollars o" me last week," said the first voice.
"He owes me for a pig," shouted a short man, excitedly. "I believe he"s skipped to get rid o" his debts."
"So do I. I allus said he was a mighty queer preacher."
"He"d bear watchin" was my idee fust time I ever see him."
"Careful, brethren--_careful_. He may come at any minute."
"I don"t care if he does. I"d bone him f"r pay f"r that shote, preacher "r no preacher," said Bartlett, a little nervously.
High words followed this, and there was prospect of a fight. The pressure of the crowd, however, was so great it was well-nigh impossible for two belligerents to get at each other. The meeting broke up at last, and the people, chilly, soured, and disappointed at the lack of developments, went home saying Pill was _scaly_; no preacher who chawed terbacker was to be trusted; and when it was learned that the horse and buggy he drove he owed Jennings and Bensen for, everybody said, "He"s a fraud."
V.
In the meantime, Andrew Pill was undergoing the most singular and awful mental revolution.
When he leaped blindly into his cutter and gave his horse the rein, he was wild with rage and shame, and a sort of fear. As he sat with bent head, he did not hear the tread of the horse, and did not see the trees glide past. The rabbit leaped away under the shadow of the thick groves of young oaks; the owl, scared from its perch, went fluttering off into the cold, crisp air; but he saw only the contemptuous, quizzical face of old William Bacon--one s.h.a.ggy eyebrow lifted, a smile showing through his shapeless beard.
He saw the colorless, handsome face of Radbourn, with a look of reproach and a note of suggestion--Radbourn, one of the best thinkers and speakers in Rock River, and the most generally admired young man in Rock County.
When he saw and heard Bacon, his hurt pride flamed up in wrath, but the calm voice of Radbourn, and the look in his stern, accusing eyes, made his head fall in thought. As he rode, things grew clearer. As a matter of fact, his whole system of religious thought was like the side of a shelving sand-bank--in unstable equilibrium--needing only a touch to send it slipping into a shapeless pile at the river"s edge. That touch had been given, and he was now in the midst of the motion of his falling faith. He didn"t know how much would stand when the sloughing ended.
Andrew Pill had been a variety of things, a farmer, a dry-goods merchant, and a traveling salesman, but in a revival quite like this of his own, he had been converted and his life changed. He now desired to help his fellow-men to a better life, and willingly went out among the farmers, where pay was small. It was not true, therefore, that he had gone into it because there was little work and good pay. He was really an able man, and would have been a success in almost anything he undertook; but his reading and thought, his easy intercourse with men like Bacon and Radbourn, had long since undermined any real faith in the current doctrine of retribution, and to-night, as he rode into the night, he was feeling it all and suffering it all, forced to acknowledge at last what had been long moving.
The horse took the wrong road, and plodded along steadily, carrying him away from his home, but he did not know it for a long time. When at last he looked up and saw the road leading out upon the wide plain between the belts of timber, leading away to Rock River, he gave a sigh of relief. He could not meet his wife then; he must have a chance to think.
Over him, the glittering, infinite sky of winter midnight soared, pa.s.sionless, yet accusing in its calmness, sweetness and majesty. What was he that he could dogmatize on eternal life and the will of the Being who stood behind that veil? And then would come rushing back that scene in the school-house, the smell of the steaming garments, the gases from the lamps, the roar of the stove, the sound of his own voice, strident, dominating, so alien to his present mood, he could only shudder at it.
He was worn out with the thinking when he drove into the stable at the Merchants" House and roused up the sleeping hostler, who looked at him suspiciously and demanded pay in advance. This seemed right in his present mood. He was not to be trusted.
When he flung himself face downward on his bed, the turmoil in his brain was still going on. He couldn"t hold one thought or feeling long; all seemed slipping like water from his hands.
He had in him great capacity for change, for growth. Circ.u.mstances had been against his development thus far, but the time had come when growth seemed to be defeat and failure.
VI.
Radbourn was thinking about him, two days after, as he sat in his friend Judge Brown"s law office, poring over a volume of law. He saw that Bacon"s treatment had been heroic; he couldn"t get that pitiful confusion of the preacher"s face out of his mind. But, after all, Bacon"s seizing of just that instant was a stroke of genius.
Some one touched him on the arm.
"Why,--Elder,--Mr. Pill, how de do? Sit down. Draw up a chair."
There was trouble in the preacher"s face. "Can I see you, Radbourn, alone?"
"Certainly; come right into this room. No one will disturb us there."
"Now, what can I do for you?" he said, as they sat down.
"I want to talk with you about--about religion," said Pill, with a little timid pause in his voice.
Radbourn looked grave. "I"m afraid you"ve come to a dangerous man."
"I want you to tell me what you think. I know you"re a student. I want to talk about my case," pursued the preacher, with a curious hesitancy.
"I want to ask a few questions on things."
"Very well; sail in. I"ll do the best I can," said Radbourn.
"I"ve been thinking a good deal since that night. I"ve come to the conclusion that I don"t believe what I"ve been preaching. I thought I did, but I didn"t. I don"t know _what_ I believe. Seems as if the land had slid from under my feet. What am I to do?"
"Say so," replied Radbourn, his eyes kindling. "Say so, and get out of it. There"s nothing worse than staying where you are. What have you saved from the general land-slide?"
Pill smiled a little. "I don"t know."