"There is some one who rings in a lordly way, I must say."
And closing the door of the veteran"s chamber behind her, Madame Barbancon flew to admit the visitor.
This proved to be a stout man about fifty years of age, wearing the uniform of a second lieutenant in the National Guard,--a uniform that gaped in a ridiculous manner behind, and disclosed to view in front an enormous stomach, over which dangled a big gold chain. This personage, who wore an immense bearskin hat that nearly covered his eyes, had a pompous and extremely self-important air.
On beholding him, Madame Barbancon knit her brows, and, evidently not very deeply impressed by the dignity of this citizen soldier, asked, in a decidedly sharp tone:
"What, you here again?"
"It would be very strange if an owner"--the word owner was uttered with the majestic air of a ruling sovereign--"if an owner could not come into his own house, when--"
"You are not in your own house, for you have rented it to the commander."
"This is the seventeenth of the month, and my porter has sent me a printed notice that my rent has not been paid, so I--"
"We all know that. This is the third time in the last two days that you have been here to dun us. Do you expect us to give you our last cent for the rent? We"ll pay you when we can, and that is all there is about it."
"When you can? A house owner is not to be paid in promises."
"House owner! You can boast of being a house owner only because for the last twenty years you"ve been putting pepper in your brandy and chicory in your coffee, as well as dipping your candles in boiling water to melt off the tallow without anybody"s discovering it, and with the proceeds of this cheating you"ve perhaps bought a few houses. I don"t see anything to be so proud of in that, do you?"
"I have been a grocer, it is true. It is also true that I made money in my business, and I am proud of the fact, madame."
"You have no reason to be. Besides, if you are rich, how can you have the heart to torment a worthy man like the commander merely because he is a little behind in his rent--for the first time, too, in over three years."
"I don"t care anything about that. Pay me my money, or out you go! It is very astonishing; people can"t pay their rent, but they must have gardens and every modern convenience, these fastidious tenants of mine!"
"Come, come, M. Bouffard, don"t go too far or you may be sorry for it!
Of course he must have a garden, this brave man, crippled with wounds, for a garden is his only pleasure in life. If, instead of sticking to your counter, you had gone to the wars like the commander, and shed your blood in the four quarters of the globe, and in Russia, you wouldn"t own any more houses than he does! Go, and see if you do!"
"Once, twice, I ask, will you pay me to-day?"
"Three times, a hundred times, and a thousand times, no! Since the commander"s wound reopened, he can sleep only with the aid of opium.
That drug is as costly as gold itself, and the one hundred and fifty francs he has received has had to go in medicine and doctor"s visits."
"I don"t care anything about your reasons. House owners would be in a nice fix if they listened to their tenants" excuses. It was just the same at one of my houses on the Rue de Monceau where I"ve just been. My tenant there is a music teacher, who can"t pay her rent because she"s been sick, she says, and hasn"t been able to give lessons as usual. The same old story! When a person is sick, he ought to go to the hospital, and give you a chance to find another tenant."
"The hospital! Commander Bernard go to the hospital!" cried the now thoroughly exasperated housekeeper. "No, not even if I have to go out as a ragpicker at night, and nurse him in the daytime, he sha"n"t go to the hospital, understand that, but you run a great risk of going there yourself if you don"t clear out, for M. Olivier is coming back, and he"ll give you more kicks in your miserable stomach than you have hairs in your bearskin cap."
"I would like to see any other house owner who would allow himself to be abused in this fashion in his own house. But enough of this. I"ll be back at four o"clock, and if the hundred and fifty francs are not ready for me, I"ll seize your furniture."
"And I"ll seize my fire-shovel and give you the reception you deserve!"
And the housekeeper slammed the door in M. Bouffard"s face, and went back to the commander. His fit of hilarity was over, but he was still in a very good humour, so, on seeing Madame Barbancon return with cheeks blazing with anger, the old sailor said to her:
"Well, it seems that you didn"t expend all your wrath upon Bonaparte, Mother Barbancon. Who the devil are you in such a rage with now?"
"With some one who isn"t a bit better than your Emperor, I can tell you that. The two would make a pretty pair. Bah!"
"And who is it that is such a good match for the emperor, Mother Barbancon?"
"It is--"
But the housekeeper suddenly checked herself.
"Poor, dear man," she thought, "it would almost kill him if I should tell him that the rent isn"t paid, that the expenses of his illness have eaten up every penny of his money, as well as sixty francs of my own.
I"ll wait until M. Olivier comes. He may have some good news for us."
"What the deuce are you mooning about there instead of answering me, Mother Barbancon? Is it some new atrocity of the little corporal"s that you are going to treat me to?"
"How glad I am! That must be M. Olivier," cried the housekeeper, hearing the bell ring again, gently this time.
And again leaving her employer, Madame Barbancon ran to the door. It was, indeed, the commander"s nephew this time.
"Well, M. Olivier?" asked the housekeeper, anxiously.
"We are saved," replied the young man, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "My worthy friend, the mason, had some difficulty in getting the money he owed me, for I had not told him I should want it so soon, but here are the two hundred francs at last," said Olivier, handing a little bag of coin to the housekeeper.
"What a relief it is, M. Olivier."
"Why, has the landlord been here again?"
"He just left, the scoundrel! I told him pretty plainly what I thought of him."
"But, my dear Madame Barbancon, when one owes a man money, one must pay it. But my poor uncle suspects nothing, does he?"
"No, not a thing, I"m glad to say."
"So much the better."
"Such a capital idea has just struck me!" exclaimed the vindictive housekeeper, as she counted the money the young man had just handed her.
"Such a capital idea!"
"What is it, Mother Barbancon?"
"That scoundrel will be back here at four o"clock, and I"m going to make up a hot fire in my cook-stove and put thirty of these five-franc pieces in it, and when that monster of a M. Bouffard comes, I"ll tell him to wait a minute, and then I"ll go and take the money out with my tongs and pile the coins up on the table, and then I"ll say to him, "There"s your money; take it." That will be fine, M. Olivier, won"t it. The law doesn"t forbid that, does it?"
"So you want to fire red-hot bullets at all the rich grocers, do you?"
laughed Olivier. "Do better than that. Save your charcoal, and give the hundred and fifty francs to M. Bouffard cold."
"You are entirely too good-natured, M. Olivier. Let me at least spoil his pretty face with my nails, the brigand."
"Nonsense! He"s much more stupid than wicked."
"He"s both, M. Olivier, he"s both, I tell you!"
"But how is my uncle this morning? I went out so early that he was still asleep, and I didn"t like to wake him."